"You don't think it's strange? Alex and I?"

Tara and Morena were having their conversation over lunch at the hospital.

Tara rolled her eyes with a smile. "Strange? I'm engaged to the Vice President of the club. I'm the last person who'll find it strange. Although... Jesus Christ Moreana... Tig..?"

Morena laughed at her puzzled expression. "Why him?"

Tara looked sheepish. "Sorry. I get the strangely exciting part. To be honest, he's always been a loner. Never says much. Loyal to a fault." Tara grimaced. "Until Donna."

"I've asked myself the same question. I mean, look at him... he's certainly not what my mother would have picked out for me." She thought for a minute. "But he's... surprisingly sensitive beneath all that brawn. He just kind of charged into my life without any kind of warning."

"Sounds like Tig." Tara took a bite of her sandwich. "And you're attracted to that?"

"A part of me, maybe. I don't know. The club's dangerous and violent. And then the other night I saw family and friendship. He's a person Tara. He wears all his scars like armour... Maybe I find the mixture..."

"You're forgiving of his flaws." Tara made the statement and Morena knew she was alluding to Donna again.

"I guess I am." She took a sip of her coffee.

"Just be careful. This life just gets more complicated, not less. I've had to make my peace with that."

"I've asked myself whether I'm crazy - especially when he doesn't let me in to what he's thinking. Damn but that's frustrating. He can be callous and tactless. But he can also be kind and sensitive and generous with his affection. And I think he is trying with us. I don't think I would still be here if I didn't feel his effort. There is goodness in him, Tara, mixed up with the really messed up depraved, dark stuff. I just don't think he knows it. Especially after what happened with Donna."

"Why didn't we fall in love with the simple ones?" Tara sighed. "The ones who are uncomplicated, with no hang ups, no shady pasts?"

"The account? Or the lawyer?"

Tara and Morena both crinkled their noses. "Boring," they said together.

Morena sobered. "How did you come to grips with it? The violence? The illegal activities? The porn? Tig didn't want to tell me about Caracara. Chibs let it slip." She rolled her eyes. "I think it was some inside joke, to see how I would react."

"Don't get me started on the porn." Tara scowled. "It's a little different for me. I grew up in Charming, in this life with Jax. I was so young then and when I met him, it was love. Crazy and all consuming. But at some point, I realised I wanted more for myself, and made the hardest decision ever. I left."

"But then you came back."

"My life is here. I imagined my destiny was somewhere else but it's always been with Jax. So wherever he is, that's where I am..." She seemed lost in her thoughts for a moment before continuing. "The violence isn't easy to deal with. And the past year has been… exceptionally challenging. But it isn't always like this. And I have faith that things will change. It's a promise he's made to me for our family. And I believe him."

"Does he tell you everything?"

"I asked that he did. And he tells me the important stuff. But not the details. That works for me. I don't think I want to know the details to be honest."

Morena took a deep breath. "I know I love him." She looked at Tara and smiled sadly. "I think I did the minute he stared me down and growled at me. I want to be with him and I think he cares about me. But I don't know where this is headed. I'm almost afraid to ask. If I'm just a passing distraction, you'd think I'd want to know right?" She laughed, but it sounded hollow. "That's not really the case. Because the longer I don't know anything, the more time I get to spend with him. Your classic catch 22."

"You love him." Tara touched Morena's hand. "Now you have to trust him. And if you trust, the rest is a lot easier."

"It helps having someone to bounce this stuff off of."

"I had Gemma." Tara scowled and Morena laughed. "But if you need anything..."

A clerk interrupted their conversation.

"Dr. Knowles, a Mr. Teller just called. He's trying to reach you on your mobile."

"Oh." Tara took the phone out of her pocket. "It's dead. Thanks. I'll give him a call."

"I'll walk you to admissions. I have some files to collect."

Morena watched Tara dial out and collected her folders; glad she had had the opportunity to talk to the other woman. What was it with these complicated Sons? It was like they were recruited based on the amount of issues they carried around.

Could she live this life? Could she be an Old Lady to the Sergeant at arms and be happy? Did he want her for anything more than sex?

She was about to leave when Tara touched her shoulder.

"Can you get away?"

Morena frowned. "From the hospital? I'm on duty for another couple hours. Why?"

Tara pulled her over to the side. "That was Jax. He didn't have your number so he called me."

"Why would Jax be looking for me?"

Tara squeezed her arm. "Tig's been shot."