"Hmm," Rose mused as the theme song continued to play. Squiddle Dee Dee, Squiddle Dee Dum "I don't remember this theme song having so many high notes."

"That was Vriska," Kanaya said, leaning forward to grab from the popcorn bucket. "She just ran through the room screaming."

Let's all be friends! And work as a team! "...I don't want to know."

"No, I think we can agree on that point."

"So... what's the point of this show?" Nepeta dug in deeper as she asked, showing the first sign of movement since she had perked up at the sight of violent Technicolor.

"What's to get?" Karkat asked, trying to use the arm of the couch as a pillow despite Jade's now-adamant attempts to keep him pinned flat to the back. "It's a fucking grub show. It's bright, loud, and everyone talks slow and clear about how to play nice with your friends and not cull anyone that might be valuable to you in the future." Jade turned toward him slow with a look of revulsion before deliberately slamming back into his chest. "Ugh, fuck, Harley! Fine! 'But with Human stuff instead.' Shit."

"I know that, Karkitty," Nepeta said, reaching back to pat Karkat on the hip. "I wanted to know what it's actually about, though!"

Karkat rolled his eyes. "Only you, Fuzzy." Nepeta giggled, and did not remove her hand until Karkat deliberately did so for her. "But yeah, I guess I wanna know about the hairy adult Human if I'm stuck here. We can find out what the show is fucking-"

"I think we should be..."

"TANGLE BUDDIES!"

"...What the actual fuck."

Feferi gasped. "Oh my gog, the little baby squids are )(UGGING! Jade: I love this show, so much."

Jade smiled but raised a hand for quiet. "Okay, I think I can do this fast. The Squiddles are these little jellyfish that live in the sea with all their underwater friends! And they live happy lives and try to help one another whenever there's trouble with the strength of their friendship and love!"

Karkat scowled, and even Feferi made a face. "Oh bouy," she said.

"Hey, hey, c'mon, let me finish. Sometimes when Squiddles are really close they become 'Tangle Buddies' and it makes them even closer friends!"

Rose cut in: "I always suspected it was a sort of polyamorous propaganda and I'm surprised they got away with it given the nature of children's media." Jade made a distant, whimpering sound.

Nepeta made a face. "Makes shipping too complicated."

"Polyamory?" Rose asked.

A nod. "Like... giant grid squares."

Rose reached out a wary hand and patted Nepeta on the shoulder.

Karkat rolled his eyes. "Can we please talk about the bearded Human before this offence to all audio comes to its far-too delayed end?"

"And the princess!" piped Feferi.

Jade had to pause before she could finish, but managed as best she could. "Well you see, Plumbthroat's a fisherman. He catches fish for eating."

"We get it," Karkat said.

"I didn't!" said Feferi. "I find it very INT-ER-ESTING!"

"Well, you see, he's not very good at it. He's trying to catch the Squiddles to eat them but mostly to steal their ink. It's apparently really valuable."

"You mean..." Kanaya made an elegant gesturing motion in the air. "Ink, as in, for pens?"

Rose leaned forward, conspiratorially toward Kanaya's ear. "Popular fan theory is that they're recreational stimulants."

Jade groaned. "Oh, not again... Rose, it's a kid's show."

"And he's the villain!" Rose began to demonstrate by cupping a hand over her fist. "You see, the Squiddles pass on their good mood to other sea creatures via tangling, so it's reasonable to assume-"

"Turning the show back on!" Jade said over the sound of a bouncy orchestra.

"...which implies that they transfer it physically rather than through emotional connection alone..."

Karkat shoved Rose away from the couch with a hand Nepeta had negligently freed for surrepitous feather-touchings. "FANGIRLS SHUT THE FUCK UP; WE'RE WATCHING THE DAMN DRUG SQUIDS NOW! ALL THE ANSWERS WILL BE MAGICALLY REVEALED!"

Dawn, and suspiciously bright for a city built deep below the continental shelf. The camera passed by a patch of coral as it descended toward the city below the waves, to provide a proper scale. The city's skyline rose no higher from the ground than the waist of a child, and greeted the kaleidoscopic, scattered rays of dawn through the waves with ordered castle-homes of varicoloured sand. When the sun passed through the disc that stood at the centre of town square, it shone with light and the streets soon filled with life and activity, everyone bright and smiling first thing in the morning, like all good children should.

A deep maroon Squiddle catches the attention of the camera, squealing a high-pitched, warbled "Goooooooood morning!" to the viewer if no one else in particular. He continues about the square, spinning and grinning, haphazardly shaking the hands of everyone he meets. "Good morning, Squidnanna! " he greets an elderly-looking gray Squiddle, taking one of her tentacles and helping her across the traffic-free street after looking both ways. "Aren't you excited about today?"

"Why of course, Squiddler! Today's the day we send all our special treats up to the orphanage! I've been baking all week to get ready!"

Just then, a large, blue Squiddle galumphed from off-screen right. "B-boy, Squidnanna, I could sure go for some of your chocolate-chip starfish-cookies!"

The elderly Squiddle laughed heartily. "Oh, now Squibump. The cookies are for the orphans! You know that!"

"Aww, I kn-know, Squidnanna! I'm just so hungry!"

"That's because you'rbbbbbe on a diet!" said a squeaky voice, as a green Squiddle no bigger than the others' eyes spun on screen. The new Squiddle had a voice that was extra-high pitched and was spotted with even more bubbling sounds than the others, making it impossible to discern sex or gender by sound alone. She was, however, decorated with the usual adornment of plump, cartoon eyelashes.

("oh my god, baby fish!"

"so TINY!")

The little Squiddle poked Squibunp in the side with her needle-thin tentacles, bouncing back in a spiral. "You need to lose a lot of weight!"

"I know, Squibella, I just can't stop thinking about all those delicious treats!" His stomach growled, as the gastrovascular cavities found in jellyfish are most definitely known to do. Squiddler laughed.

"Well, we had better get the cookies up to the orffffffffanage before Squibump gets any hungrier!" She swirlled as she slurred her F, to another burst of tiny bubbles. And they all laughed, including several passers-by. The only exception was poor Squibump, who looked bluer than usual until little Squibella launched herself haphazardly toward him with what would prove her usual energy, and clung to his side with her tiny arms. Squibump reached up and patted her head with one of his plump tentacles, which had her smiling, and they shared a whispered conversation that could not be heard over the giggling of the other jellyfish.

("Is Mocking The Obese Entertaining In Your Culture"

"Um... um... that not really, uh..."

"No, Kan."

"Then I Do Not Follow The Scene")

But all at once the joyful playtime of the undersea friends was interrupted by a shout from the nearby hill.

"The princess has been kidnapped!" came the call of a female voice. The Squiddles all looked up to see a dark green Squiddle dressed with an iron headband and carrying a coral stick, who looked down at their stunned reaction with irritation. "...Again!"

The Squiddles in town finally caught up with the announcement. Cries of "Oh no!" and "What'll we do?" and other such indecisive cries could be made out amongst the crowd. ("The same bubbles-added watermelon, watermelon recorded back in Season 1 and reused ad infinitum." "Rose, I don't interrupt your novels with trivia, do I?")

The green Squiddle ground her staff with three tentacles at once. "ARGH!" she shouted, and was down the hill and at Squiddlers' side in only a few strong swings of her arms. "Squiddler, didn't you hear me? The Princess has been kidnapped!"

"Well, gosh, Squiddette!" Squiddler said, scratching his head with a maroon tentacle. "Who did it this time?"

"Who else?" Squiddette spun about as she talked, clearly frustrated. ("The late Laura Marsette," said Jade, gesturing to the dark green Squiddle. "Likes to improvise.") "It's the same one that's always bothering us during fishing season!" and then, just to make sure the audience followed: "Skipper Plumbthroat and his crew!"

The other Squiddles all gasped as one. "B-b-but that means he's after our ink!" Squibump said, and with a shriek Squibella disappeared behind his tentacles.

"And it's all my fault," said Squiddette with a grunt. She planted her staff in the sand and crossed her foremost tentacles to sulk. "I fell asleep again."

"Aw, you don't have to guard her day and night, Squiddette!" Squiddler reached out a tentacle toward her but she just shrugged him away. "Do you know what I think?" Squiddette only replied by raising an exaggerated eyebrow, but in a jump cut Squibella peeked out of Squibump's tentacles and smiled. "I think you need a-"

"TANGLE HUG!" shouted the other three at once. Squiddette raised her tentacles in protest but was swiftly glomped by Squiddler, to the sound of a cream-pie splat courtesy of the foley team. That was followed by a larger splat for Squibump and a tiny pifft for Squibella, landing like a wart on Squiddle's forehead.

"G... you guys!" Squiddette tried to pry the others off, but it was no use, and soon her protests fell into giggling. "Hehehe, you g-guys!" She finally succeeded in prying off Squibump, and removing Squibella with a pop!, and Squiddette smiled a anatomically confusing smile for the first time in the episode. Only after did she realize that Squiddler was still clinging to her side, and tipped in to him in a drowsy sort of happy comfort, before coming to senses and swatting at his grip. "Ge... get... get off!" She glared at him as he sheepishly pulled away, and then coughed. "Anyways! You're right, we can't give up hope just yet! We have to do something!"

"D-do you know where they went?" Squibump asked.

Squiddette nodded. "They left a note! It said... 'We took her to Isle of Dread and Hate!'"

"Oh, my!" said a shocked Squidnanna. "The Isle of Dread and Hate! The King said we're never to go there! It's too dangerous!"

"Well I have to go!" said Squiddette. "I'm the Princess' bodyguard! I have to go after her no matter what! That's the law! If you all want to help me, I'll just have to deputize you!" And then, whispered loud enough for the mic but not for the director, a subtle murmur that sounded like another "...Again."

"Of course we'll come, Squiddette!" said Squiddler, and the others in their small group all chirped "Yeah! Yeah!" "We're your friends! And Princess Berryboo's too!"

"Hehehe," Squiddette was giggling frequently now, back to her normal self. "Aw, thanks you guys!"

"B-but what about the orphans' cookies?" asked Squibump, one tentacle tellingly on his side. The other pointed down the road, to where a Squiddle wearing a top-hat was driving a cart pulled by two pink cuttlefish. (Feferi squealed uncontrollably and began geeking out about the animator's attention to detail.)

"We'll take them!" said Squibella to Squidnanna. "We'll take everyone else to the island and make sure Squibump doesn't eat a single crumb!"

"Okay!" said Squiddler. "And Squiddette and I will take Squidradar to scout ahead!"

But Squiddette made a face. "Wait, isn't Squidadar still..."

A jump cut later-

"You guys, you guys, you guys," Feferi said as soon as the cuttlefish were well and truly off-screen and she had finished her sentence about "w-eyes," which was most definitely a technical term. "I have to show you some of my fish perchures. I have to. I'LL B-E RIG)(T BACK! I'll catch up!"

"Her what?" Rose asked as Feferi disappeared in the transportalizer.

"Purrtchures," Nepeta clarified. She had a grin on her face that had been plastered there at the start of the show, and remained there even during the pause.

"Oh, that's good then!" Jade said, and reached back toward the remote, but Karkat reached out to stop her.

"Wait, hold on. It's not that I'm trying to follow this mess. I mean, that's sort of an Egbert move, but that's not my po-"

Just then, Terezi emerged from the kitchen hallway with Gamzee. "Oh yeah, Karkles. Like you don't want to pull any of John's moves." She only had to take another step to get a look at the paused freeze-frame of cartoon jellyfish before she broke down laughing.

"HEY! UP YOURS!" Karkat managed to shout before Terezi sat down at her computer, and Gamzee with his.

Kanaya reached down a hand to touch his wrist. "Karkat, that's not exactly conductive-"

"Yeah, well, I don't think this show's conductive to anyone's love lives. Moving on. What the fuck's an 'orphanage'?"

Jade and Rose exchanged looks. "It's..." started Rose, but Jade went with the direct approach.

"It's a place where kids get to live after their parents die or ..." For a moment it seemed like she was not going to say it to the aliens, but in the end: "or can't take care of them. There's one on the island that's near where the Squiddles live, they have a lot of friends there."

Karkat opened his mouth at once but Kanaya immediately slapped him on the shoulder. He mouthed an aggravated "WHAT?" up at her. Nepeta set another hand on his thigh, behind Jade's back, and stopped him short.

"Jade," Nepeta asked, "did... you live in an orphanage?"

"Huh?" Jade looked almost too ready to stomp on Karkat's inevitable reprisal that she was taken off-guard. "You mean after Grandpa died?" Though Jade was not looking to see, Kanaya also nodded. Before reaching her hand back she pressed Karkat back into his corner, who shied away only under duress. But Jade only spoke to Nepeta, who seemed so curious and concerned by the new tone of her voice all at once. "Well... no. I mean, nobody knew we were there. I guess I would have, but I had Bec, so it was okay."

"Well, okay then!" Nepeta said, her own tone reversed at once. As if to cover for the shift, she glomped Jade not unlike the Squiddles had one another. From her new position, she shot Karkat another glare. Rose exchanged glances with Kanaya. Nepeta turning on Karkat? Rose was starting to wonder if showing the Trolls the Squiddles was going to be a good idea if this and cuttlefish photography were going to be the after-effects.

They decided to wait for Feferi to return in the end (she seemed quite content after the fact, but no one was able to ask why as she bombarded them with pictures of her late pets). After that they returned to the show. Karkat even got to sit up and stayed of his own free will, muttering something about "building resistance to psychological torture." Jade snipped back at him for a while but eventually they were back on track.

A jump cut later and Squiddler and Squiddette were inside one of the castle-homes, where their yellow-toned friend Squidradar floated, upside-down and frowning. "Oh. Hi guys," he moped.

"Squiradar!" cried Squiddler. "You're not still upset about whales, are you?"

"Of course I'm not!" he said, arms crossed. "I know they have to migrate. I'm just fine."

Squiddette swam in front of him, looking a mix of encouraging and annoyed. "Then why are you sulking?"

"Well," he said, looking up to look down at his friends. "It's still okay to miss your friends while they're gone."

("OH GOG.")

"But you're not supposed to sulk, silly!" Squiddler reached up to pull Squiradar down from the ceiling. "Your friends would be sad if they knew they were making you sad!"

("OH GOG THEY'RE REPEATING LESSONS FROM A PREVIOUS EPISODE."

"Actually, I think it was three episodes ago. Rose?"

"I DON'T CARE. IF THEY DO IT AGAIN, SOMEBODY STAB ME.")

Squiddette picked up her friend's thread seamlessly. "So you should perk up or your friend will be sad when he comes back!"

("equius should watch this, he's always grumpy when i come over!"

"I AM ONE HUNDRED PERCENT SERIOUS. KANAYA, LEIJON, IF THEY REPEAT ANOTHER LESSON I WANT BLADES IN MY FUCKING ARTERIES. THAT IS AN ORDER."

"Neck Or Chest"

"IRRELEVANT.")

Squiddler was quick to close the debate. "I think what you need is a TANGLE HUG!" He tossed himself onto Squidradar's side, and found himself soon slowly spinning in the water as his friend tipped to one side. "Uh... Squiddette?"

The dark green Squiddle did not budge. "I'm not doin' it. He's your friend."

But Squiddler seemed to be doing all right on his own, as he eventually turned his friend right side up. Squidradar seemed to have improved already.

"What's the matter, Squiddette?" he asked.

"Didn't you hear? Skipper Plumbthroat kidnapped the princess again!"

"What?" Squidradar immediately panicked and Squddler dropped to the ground. "But... but..." He bolted, reappearing in the next shot hidden under a set of Squiddle-sized blankets. Squiddette poked him with her staff.

"Hehehehe, C'mon, Squidradar! It's just Plumbthroat!"

"B-b-b-b-but..."

Squiddler helped drag his friend out from under the sheets. "Besides, we need your help! They said she was at the Isle of 'Dread and Hate'. And we don't know where that is!"

"But you can find any Squiddle in the ocean!" said Squiddette, resting a tentacle gently on one of Squidradar's. But he did not seem to hear them.

"The Isle of D-d-d-dread and H-h-ate?" He started to turn, back to his bed hiding place, only to find a coral staff snapped up in front of him.

Squiddler tried again. "Please, Squidradar? You can be brave, I know it!"

"O-okay," said the yellow Squiddle. "I'll give it a shot."

And he focused, his tentacles wound up tight and his brow furrowed, and purple waves of the Power of Friendship wavered out into the waters about. But despite it all, Squidradar shook his head even as he continued his search. "I don't... she must not be in the ocean."

"Plumbthroat must have put her in his tank," Squiddette mused to Squiddler.

Squiddler thought for a good long time before taking a different route. "Squidradar... what about Ox?"

"I..." And Squidradar nodded. "I think I can find him, I mean, if he's in the wat-"

And as he spoke, the image on the screen rent in two, split horizontally and each half skewed partway to opposite corners, to the sound of a tear and an animal shriek. Squidradar jumped back (Nepeta did, as well), his friends reaching out to him. In the gaps between the image and fading in and out in static, the image of a large Squiddle appeared, set too close to his face. He was twice the size of the others, a pirate's hat on his head and an eyepatch atop one eye, and came slowly into focus. His voice was not so clear.

"'Allo, Radar," he said. "Skip' told me to take a little dip whilst it was still safe to get me feelers wet." Ox raised some of his tentacles up into view. Many of them were severed and blunt, but one bore a hook and one just out of vision tipped a cutlass in and out of view as he continued. "Why don't ye make yerself useful to me and tell my baby brother I be wanting to give him a nice... big... hug."

The image snapped back into place, Squidradar falling to the ground in a slump. Squiddler helped him to his feet at once, and Squidradar looked up at him with glazed eyes.

"...Ox says hi," he panted. "Squiddler. Ox said... to say hello."

In the background, Squidette could barely be made out, muttering something about them knowing they were coming now, but Squiddler focused on his friend.

"Are you okay?" No real answer came, just heavy breathing, the voice actor carefully recorded. "Do you know where he was?"

"They're... the way the whales went."

Squiddette nodded and pointed off toward the southeast. "...Can you take us there?"

Squidradar's eyes widened, and he shook in his friend's grip. This time there was no stammering, no panicked dashes, just a deep breath in, a deep breath out. Once, twice, three time, four, and last of all: "...Yes."

And in the very next moment they were outside, and the tone had changed at once. The music was bouncy again, a sing-song tune, and two of the three Squiddles waved to their friends still gathering up the baked goods. Squidbella could even be made out calling "Goodbye! Bye!" in a distant voice. The camera watched the Squiddles go for quite a way, abusing bumps in the terrain to jump them ahead without the viewer seeing. Once they had mounted the final rise, the camera went with them down the next. But when the sun-caught disc in town square disappeared over the horizon, so did the music, into a patch of white noise that seemed to imply falling. If the camera were to be trusted, the three Squiddles travelled downward on their journey, and when it at last settled on a new scene, the sand had turned black and the sun was already setting orange and yellow high above. In every direction the Squiddles found debris: a sunken ship from the pirate days.

Jade paused the feed a few seconds later. "There."

Feferi squinted. "Is that the thing you wanted me to see?" The object Jade had locked in frame looked like the top of a steeple or bell tower, all in metal corroded and covered with the living stuff of the ocean. The weathervane at the top, if it had ever been anything else, had degraded to a multi-branched staff of metal.

Jade shook her head. "No, but it might help. I don't know. That's the thing Plumbthroat pulls out of the ocean a few episodes from now. After that episode he disappears and a man calling himself 'Prince Dargon' appears the episode after and becomes the villain."

Rose nodded. "At the end of the season we find out it all sort of happened because Plumbthroat salvaged this thing."

The Trolls all shook their heads, and Jade shrugged. "That's okay, I just wanted to show you. I wanted to ask you more of a marine life question, but it can wait."

"What's this Prince Dargon guy like, anyways?" Feferi asked. "I mean... what's he do?"

"Pretty standard villain stuff," Jade said. "Except he's really... mean about it."

"Very personalized," Rose said, realizing the Trolls would probably not find much wrong with 'meanness'. "A lot of, 'this would never have happened if it wasn't for you,' or playing off phobias. 'Just you and the dark.'"

"Sounds just like home," Karkat said. "No wonder you came to us."

Jade cast Karkat a look out of the corner of her eye, pained, but Rose, who had been expecting his response from her time with the Trolls, was already on the next subject. "Most importantly, I think, is that he was smart enough to separate the Squiddles from one another. They can't use their friendship powers without-"

"They can't use their what?"

Rose ignored Karkat entirely. "-without being near their friends, and they don't always have much self-confidence because, frankly, they're all head cases."

Jade scowled. "Rose, for goodness' sake!"

"Okay, okay, 'simplistic characters'."

Jade raised her hands for silence. "Okay, I need everyone, especially Feferi to keep their eyes out in the scenes near the Isle, where it's all black. There might be something hidden there that would help me make sense of this..."

Meanwhile, in the nearby hold of the ship, eyes looked out from the deep. A face, barely visible, poked out of the dark of the ruined ship-hull and began to sniff the water. In the distance, just visisble in the frame, a distant spot of maroon, green and yellow passed by. And voices. "This is the right way, Squiddler, but I haven't been here before, so keep an eye out, okay?"

The craggy face shifted, a grin forming at the corners of its beaked mouth. But it was not the Leviathan of the land of the Isle of Dread and Hate, the rumble of constant thunder still distant. Still, it rose from the ship in bulk and muscle, still it rose in build and shape, with scales and armour unyielding.

The creature kicked a nearby plank as it rose its weight into the water proper. "Laughlin," he said, slow and deliberate in a Cajun accent.

"Yeah?" called another voice, within.

And the first rose to eat, and cast itself steady and slow to a gap in the boards; cast into the rays of the setting sun: the silhouette of a Great Sea Turtle. "...Jellyfish."

"Heh." And behind him, the sound of his brother.

DVD Bonus Material
Laura Marsette (b October 2, 1970 - d April 13, 2009) - Voice of Squiddette, Amber, Squideva and Colonel Plack-Plack, among others, Seasons 2 through 3. A professional voice actress whose career in animation began as a production assistant for Disney's: Return of Jafar. Marsette landed the role of Amber after the change of localization teams between Seasons 1 and 2, and was given additional roles after the second shift to Studio Upton during Season 3. Of her (relatively, for animation) widely publicized departure from Upton at the end of Season 3, Marsette repeatedly commented that the Director was "insane" and described the rest of the production team alternately as "sheep" and "zombies." "I hope they crash," she was quoted as saying after her contract officially ended and signs of Upton's collapse loomed. Her prediction proved true, her career outlasting the Squiddles studio by more than a decade.

Jacob Watt (b July 26, 1974 - d April 13, 2009) - Voice of Squiddler, Sebastian, Squiddoro, Bo'sun Ox and others. Watt's career in voice acting was nowhere near long as many of his co-workers, though still spanned the course of the decade. Of his split with Studio Upton along with co-star Laura Marsette, Watt placed the blame firmly on the production team. "There's a line in children's entertainment, and they crossed it and refused to cross back. They're past caring." After leaving the industry over the split, Watt went back to school and became a high school teacher. He states on his blog that he almost did not make it to graduation, suffering a boating accident that cost him his left eye. "Some kids recognize my voice and call me 'Ox' when they learn the eye is glass. It's nice to know I had an impact, and I'm glad to see that there wasn't any damage. They're all bright young kids."