CHAPTER FIVE

SIDE CHICK

27th of September

X Factor house

Dear God

However many Christians deny it, you have made mistakes. Whether we're talking about making over half of the world water, or making us all different so people can discriminate, there is no way you can contradict it. So you have no right to judge me, or anyone else. I know you think you're a big man; sending me to Hell simply because I messed up, but you must be the biggest hypocrite either on or off the face of this Earth. Anyway, do read on.

…We could just be friends

Now let me tell you 'bout a boy who's goin' la-la

Try'na get my ya-ya…

I didn't know why, but I was absolutely exhausted. Whether it was from my two hours of sleep last night or the overdose of fresh air, all I wanted to do was sleep.

Michael took one look at me and ordered me into my bedroom. I complied happily, unsure whether I should even undress. In the end, I just fell face-first into my duvet and left the world behind.

As always, my dream made no sense. As a matter of fact, it was a music video. To 'Start of Something New', of all songs. Except, instead of the usual clips of Troy and Gabriella, the lyrics were set to Chris and I; all the moments we'd spent together so far. I'll tell you this: it was amusing, but it freaked me out a bit. I couldn't be in love with Chris…could I? I still had Dennis.

As if on cue, Dennis popped into my mind. But his back was turned and he was walking away. And the sun rose in his wake, as if symbolizing a brand new right of way.

I awoke – and realized that I was crying. I touched the tears, fresh on my face, wondering what all this meant. I had known Chris for one day, no matter if it felt like forever.

Just like that, the dream vanished. And no matter how I tried, I could not remember it. Just as well, really.

As soon as I was fully tuned into the real world, I dragged myself downstairs.

The others were in the kitchen, laughing and joking over a lunch of what looked like bread and chocolate, with bottles of Evian water. Having not had any breakfast, I was hungry enough that this looked like a feast worthy of Kings.

I pulled up a chair at the table and grabbed a bread roll, for once not caring about carbs. I was too ravenous for that.

I had purposefully chosen the chair next to Robyn and opposite Chris, who was smiling sympathetically across the table at me. 'Good sleep?'

I nodded uncertainly. 'Best I ever had.'

'Chocolate?' Alexis proffered a Galaxy bar.

'No thanks.' I gestured to the bread. 'I'm set.'

She shrugged. 'Suit yourself.' And then, to my shock, she unwrapped the bar, put it between two slices of white bread, and bit.

I stared at her. She had the figure of Beyonce and the cheekbones of Johnny Depp – and there she was stuffing herself with empty calories. I eyed the chocolate piled on the table warily. Oh well, you only live once.

But a few seconds later, I had the perfect sandwich. And it tasted like nothing on Earth. In a good way.

'I can't remember the last time I had a sweet sandwich,' Robyn commented. 'The closest I ever got was a sugar one when I was four – and that was just an experiment at a friend's house.'

I nodded vaguely. 'Yeah, you do weird things at that age.'

'Too true.'

China and Frieda were looking very pale.

'If you're up sick all night,' the latter burst out, 'you'll be sorry.'

'What were we supposed to do?' Thomas asked conversationally. 'This is all there was.'

'We did just go on a walk,' Dylan said fairly. 'I'm sure we could have found a store somewhere.'

'There wasn't a place for miles!' protested Robbie.

A bit of an argument ensued, if partly in fun. I happily joined in, hurling accusations and insults at everyone in my reach until we were all convulsed with laughter.

Remarkable really, how quickly a house could become a home.

'I'm bored,' announced Sandy.

Needless to say, we ignored her. But she did have a point. We'd been sitting aimlessly in the kitchen for ages, and all the food was long consumed. The Beach Babes, however, had only joined us ten minutes ago, wearing Lycra shorts and sports bras damp with sweat. They had eaten nothing but a few crusts and didn't look any the worse for it.

'Actually, I'm a little fed up,' muttered Lorane to me. 'What are we supposed to be doing?'

I had no idea. 'Why don't we go in the Main room? At least it'll be comfortable.'

Chris stood immediately. 'Come on then.'

On the way down the corridor, China fell into step beside me. 'He's such a nice boy,' she remarked. 'Would've loved a guy like him when I was your age.'

I nodded doubtfully. Where was she heading with this?

'He is a little young,' she admitted. 'But hey, we all want a toyboy!'

'I used to be one,' grinned Dylan, catching up. 'It really helps you be more attentive.'

Hang on. Where they recommendingChris to me?

'Excuse me,' I began. 'Are you –'

'And so good-looking, too,' China continued. 'One would need to snap him up before the fans get a glimpse of him!'

'And you look so great together,' added Dylan. 'Such a cute couple!'

'I'm sorry,' I cut in. 'I'm gonna go catch up with Chris.'

And I left them looking satisfied that I'd be running to tell Chris that I wanted to start a relationship immediately. What I was actually doing was checking to see where Frieda was at.

'…and such a great sense of style!' I was able to catch as I walked into the Main Room. 'She could fix you up like Daniel Merriweather!'

'Um…'

'Chris,' I interrupted, smiling sweetly. 'Can I talk to you for a second?'

'Sure.' He shot me a look that was half bewilderment and half gratitude and followed me up to my bedroom.

I shut the door behind us and bolted it. 'Do you know what the Overs are up to?'

He looked relieved. 'They were being weird to you too? Frieda was going on about how…' He trailed off. 'Oh.'

In any other situation, I would've laughed: he appeared so amusingly confused. 'Yeah.'

'Well that's sweet!' he said brightly (too brightly?). 'And there's no real problem, is there?'

I hesitated. Now would most probably be the best time to tell him about Dennis. How could I leave him thinking that I was single – just not interested? Because believe me, I was interested. But I'm no cheater. 'Chris –'

'Oi!' we heard Kris yell. 'You two making out?'

'No!' I called indignantly, blushing, at the same time I identified Dylan's voice reprimanding him with the well-chosen words: 'Hey, let the sweethearts be.'

'We're not sweethearts!' I shouted irritably.

Chris looked a little hurt. 'Is it that bad a concept?'

If possible, I went even redder. This was not turning out well. 'I'm sorry. I'm tired.'

He didn't look pacified. 'You just slept for an hour.'

OK, this was really starting to piss me off. 'Chris…'

'Go out with me?'

I balked, although he said it perfectly pleasantly, even adding a question mark at the end. Right, I had a very basic, but complicated choice to make. Go out with him and risk jeopardizing all my policies on girl/boy relationships? Or refuse and maybe alienate Chris against me for the rest of the competition? Huh. Or…

'As friends?' I proposed.

For a second – just a second – I saw something like hurt flash into his eyes. Then he smiled. 'Love to.'

As if to illustrate that point, we ascended the stairs holding hands, and entered the main room beaming.

The Overs looked up hopefully.

'Yes,' Chris complied. 'I asked her out.'

Frieda's face split into the first smile I'd ever seen on her. 'Yeah!'

'I said yes, by the way,' I adjoined. 'Robbie!'

Robbie dropped the coins he had been passing to Thomas as if they had burned him. 'I wasn't doing anything.'

Chris and I rolled our eyes.

In honour of our new 'arrangement', Chris and I had decided to share a chair; I perched precariously on his lap, our knees tucked up against the armrest. Africans With Attitude had dug up a stack of old Friendsseasons and these we decided to watch in chronological order.

I had only seen a couple of Friendsepisodes before, and these had probably been somewhere in the fifth to seventh sets, so I was dangerously near hysteria as Jen, Courtney, Matt, Matthew, Dave and Lisa punned and middle-classed their way through 'The Pilot'.

Chris rested his chin on my hair. 'What happened to Courtney? She looks great!'

'I know. I think this is before she started to lose weight.'

'Why would she have wanted to do that?'

I shrugged. 'Search me.'

He laughed. 'No thanks.'

I ducked my head shyly. 'Pardon the expression.'

I heard a very obvious 'awww' in the background, and tensed. God, this was worse than when I had first met Dennis a few years after we'd been childhood friends. My Mum and his Dad had simply sat and watched over us as we had a drink, smiling and coaxing whenever it was most inopportune. It was the most uncool few minutes of my life. Ironically, things only escalated when I invited him up to my bedroom…

Just kidding.

'Hey,' Chris murmured in my ear, the warmth of his breath tickling pleasurably. 'Think they noticed that we're sitting together?'

I doubled up with giggles and felt him shaking with disguised laughter. Maybe it was the chocolate at lunch, but I felt wonderfully hyper. Actually, scratch that. I felt completely hammered.

I jumped as Jennifer suddenly banged into Central Perk – clothed in a wedding dress. 'What the Hell?'

'Ross did just wish to be married,' Thomas pointed out.

'Yeah, but technically,'stressed Lorane, 'she's not married to him.'

'She could be,' Robyn envisioned. 'He could have had contracted amnesia on their wedding day and only now has she finally found her groom and she'll have to show him what his old life was like and they'll fall in love all over again…'

'…she was with me in high school,' Courtney finished.

Robyn smirked. 'Believe it or not, I knew that.'

Sunny wriggled uncomfortably and turned to the twins. 'You're elbow's digging into me.'

'Which one?' quipped Kevin.

She made a derogatory noise and shuffled very pointedly to the edge of the sofa. The twins grinned.

Alexis suddenly gave Bethany a hard shove. 'Jesus Beth, can you give me some space?'

'Hey!' snapped Bethany. 'Just 'cause you're three foot wide doesn't mean you can push me around!'

A classic oooohswept through the room; the sort that usually headlines one Hell of a fight.

'Guys,' soothed Camilla. 'Calm down.'

She noticed us gawking. 'They're like this all the time,' she clarified.

Alexis and Bethany deliberately turned away from each other, arms folded so stiffly that their knuckles turned white.

Lorane leaned tactfully over to me. 'That's sad; that even groups can't put up with each other.'

'I don't know.' I gestured discreetly to Triple K, practically sitting on top of each other and looking perfectly content. 'They seem happy enough.'

Lorane tilted her head slightly. 'I guess living it rough gives you a lot of opportunity to get close to each other.'

I winced. 'You don't mean…'

She thumped me lightly. 'No!'

There was silence for a bit. Then Lorane bent very close and whispered, barely audible to my ears: 'Are you sure the Chris thing is a good idea? I thought –'

'He knows we're just friends,' I assured her. 'It's really just to humour the Overs.'

Her face was sad. 'Are you sure that's how he feels?'

I bit my lip. 'Well…that's a risk I'll just have to take.'

'It's not your heart you're toying with.'

She whispered it, but I heard. 'And it's not your life you're dictating!' I snapped.

'You alright?' inquired Chris.

I smiled tightly. 'Sure.'

'You don't look very well,' he remarked.

'Neither do you, but I guess we're both pale,' I teased.

He chuckled reluctantly.

'Love is sweet as summer showers; love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love…'

Robyn was singing along to Lisa's dreadful jingle, somehow making it sound like an Alexandra Burke original…

'…crapping on my heart.'

…with a seriously retarded composer.

Robyn, I had learned by now, was a little weird, but she meant well. For a nineteen year-old, she was interestingly clued-up, but enjoyed acting the part of an innocent spectator at the show of life, rather than a participant.

'Robyn's nice,' remarked Chris quietly.

I narrowed my eyes. ''Nice' as in 'sweet' or 'nice' as in 'I want to sleep with her'?'

He pretended to think, eventually choosing the former.

Dylan stretched theatrically, looking over at the clock. 'Alright kids, I think it's way past your bedtime.'

Was he looking at me?I wondered with glee how he would react if I told him that at this time on a Monday I'd be on the computer sending e-mails to Dennis 'til dawn. On that note, I contemplated whether Chris had ever had a girlfriend. I guessed yes. Who wouldn't be taken in by his sweet face and goofy demeanour?

Chris drew his arm slightly too close to my throat to check his watch. 'Maybe you're right.'

We glanced around the room, littered with the debris of our dinner: Dylan had managed to concoct a truly miraculous recipe from pasta, tomato sauce and spices.

Thomas cleared his throat. 'Should we tidy up, or…?'

'I'll take care of it,' offered China. 'No, really,' she continued as we started to protest, 'it'll be like being at home.'

So, feeling a little guilty, we dispersed and headed off to our separate bedrooms. All our rooms had adjoining bathrooms, so the rest of the Girls and I brushed our teeth and hair together, offering to help each other plait our tresses, Lorane and Robyn 'ooh'ing and 'aah'ing over my crimson curls, claiming them to be completely unique.

That night, I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.