Author's Note: Me, skimming the F!Robin & Chrom supports: Yeah cool it was always that cringe, awesome *cracks knuckles* *writes this*

Anyway, this originally started as a 5+1 sort of thing—but that quickly fell apart lol. I'm starting to notice a trend of my fics in which they start out with a basic trope or premise but end up not following it completely. Be prepared for wildly different tones in this, by the by.

Please enjoy, the boys are poorly repressed bi disasters and we love that for them

"Ah, that's nice…"

With a Fire tome propped up on a stool, Robin sent another trickle of flame to heat the pot of water to just the right temperature—well below scalding, but still nice and steamy. The set-up of the bathing tents had been his (somewhat unorthodox) idea. Sure, the riverside had served the Shepherds perfectly well before this point, and Frederick in particular had been rather skeptical of the tents' necessity, but the luxury of temperature control in a closed-off space was far too good to pass up.

Robin lathered more soap and massaged it around his neck, then down his chest. He looked up as he stretched his neck, thinking of little other than the feeling of relaxation as he observed the strands of steam and shadow thickening overhead. The air was so opaque, he couldn't even see the top of the tent above him.

As he cupped some water from the pot and poured it over the suds on his neck, he heard the crunch of grass nearby, and the shift of fabric.

He normally didn't pay much attention to whoever joined the bathing tent, but his ears pricked as he caught someone's confused muttering about how hard it was to see.

"Oh! Gods, I'm sorry," they said as their silhouette froze a couple meters away. He squinted back at them as cold air and sunlight prickled through the opening they'd made in the tent flap.

"Chrom?" he asked. "No need to apologize. There's plenty of space. You can come on in."

"Th-that's quite alright," Chrom said, his silhouette standing somehow both stiffly and unsteadily. "I, er, I thought this was a different tent. I apologize."

Robin paused in his bathing to shoot Chrom an amused look. "Why so contrite?" he ribbed amiably. "It's not like you walked in on the women's bathing tent instead."

After a brief pause, Chrom replied, "It's not, is it?" His usual confidence seemed to be ebbing back as he nodded, entering the tent completely. Robin was thankful as the flap closed behind him, shutting off the flow of glaring sun and stinging chill. "Yes. Yes, this is perfectly good and normal." As Chrom spoke, he began removing his pauldron, as if he were going to start bathing as well—now this, this Robin blinked at with a bit of concern.

Puzzled, he pointed out, "Didn't you enter by mistake?" He could have sworn he overheard Chrom mutter something—"I will be normal, I will act normal—" before giving a small jolt, registering Robin's words.

"Oh, I…I must have forgotten myself." He sounded almost apologetic.

"Is something on your mind? You're acting really oddly."

"It's just…I suppose I'm not comfortable bathing with others, that's all."

"Oh? You never complained about sharing a bathing tent with the other guys," Robin said, not meaning to pry, but genuinely curious. He could readily recall times when he'd seen Chrom enter with Frederick or Vaike. As Chrom coughed, Robin realized that the other man was looking determinedly down at his feet.

"Well, there you go," Chrom said, "I-I suppose I never thought of you as...as one of the normal guys."

Robin felt his face heat up from something beyond just the steam, and not in a pleasant way. "And just what is that supposed to mean?" he asked. Self-consciousness burned across his bare skin.

"I...huh?"

"What is that supposed to mean, Chrom?" Robin repeated, crossing his arms. "I'm asking plainly."

Taking a cautious step back, Chrom said, "A-are you certain? Because it sounds like you're asking angrily."

"Just what about me is abnormal?" Robin enunciated with slow, sharp precision.

"Nothing! You're not abnormal, you're just not normal," Chrom practically began to sputter as he seemed to realize what he was saying, "I mean—"

"Just—" Robin tried to keep his voice even, to not lose his temper. "Just get out of here."

In his panic to clarify, Chrom slammed his fist into his palm, as though he'd found an answer. "You're, you're unusual, that's a better word for it! I think?"

"I mean it, get out! " Robin snapped, raising the soap clutched in his head as if he were about to chuck it, and a wide-eyed Chrom turned on his heel and all but scurried out of the tent.

As some Shepherds exclaimed outside of the tent in surprise as Chrom most likely barreled right past them, Robin hurriedly rinsed himself clean, dried off, and retired to his own tent.

"What was that about?" he muttered, plopping down into a sitting position on his bedroll. It was just about time for the Shepherds to gather together for lunch, but Robin would rather skip his meal than go out there right now.

He already felt like an outsider because of all the things he didn't know, all the things he didn't remember. The last thing he'd needed was to hear Chrom judge him like that while he was naked.

With an aggravated sigh, Robin flopped onto his back, before flipping over and burying his face in his pillow, as if he could hide from his own embarrassment.

A day later, Chrom practically tiptoed to the men's bathing tent, only lifting the flap by a hair as he peeked inside. Empty.

With a sigh of relief, he stepped in and began dressing down. It would be a nice respite, getting the flecks of Risen-gore and grime off of him. And gods knew he needed to calm his nerves after putting his foot in his mouth in front of Robin.

Blazes, what a disaster that was.

He'd always had to avert his gaze when bathing with the other men, but he was pretty good at ignoring the subtle stirrings of nervousness in the back of his head, and pretty good at waving it all off as something that everyone went through. After all, he'd been brought up constantly surrounded by other boys, so he had to accustom himself to seeing the male Shepherds in various states of undress, one way or another.

And yet, as soon as he'd realized that Robin was standing nude just a few feet in front of him, Chrom had scarcely known where to look, let alone what to say. Surely, surely, that conversation would have gone better with both parties being fully clothed.

With a sigh, he reached for the flint to get a bit of a fire started, when he heard a voice.

"The lances and axes have gotta be somewhere around—C-Chrom? What are you doing in here?"

"Uh—" Chrom said as he turned to see Robin standing in front of the entrance to the tent. Robin's eyes were stretched wide, and Chrom felt himself mirroring the same shocked expression. Confusion softened the blow of panic only somewhat, as he grew very aware of the fact that he didn't even have a wisp of steam to hide behind. "O-oh, er, I'm taking a bath? Is that…not what one does in here?"

"Enough!" Robin erupted. "Couldn't you at least put a towel on or something when you're talking to me?" He was suddenly talking so quickly that Chrom could scarcely get a word in edgewise. "What, did they have you just prance around naked in those fancy etiquette schools of yours?"

"N-no? I—blazes, Robin, just hang on, I've barely had the chance to—"

But Robin had already spun on his heel, running out of the tent as if from an ambush.

"Robin—" Chrom called out, before muttering, "blast!" Had he somehow made things between them even worse?

He finished his bath in hasty distraction, not even bothering to heat up the water, and emerged from the tent, determined to track his friend down and set things right. He was only three steps out when he heard said friend's voice.

"Hey."

He blinked and looked down, seeing that Robin was now sitting cross-legged just outside of the tent, as if he'd put himself in some kind of time-out. His face was bright red.

"I see we've calmed down, now," Chrom said, giving a weak smile.

"I came back to apologize," Robin mumbled. He shifted where he sat, pulling up a knee to rest his forearm upon, as he kept staring straight ahead.

"Since when did you mind bathing with company?" Chrom asked, crouching down beside his friend.

"I don't. I was just…startled to see you there, I guess," Robin replied. "I'm not sure why I lost my cool like that. It's nothing I haven't seen before."

With a bit of a laugh, Chrom rubbed the back of his neck and said, "For a moment, I thought you were going to start throwing things at me."

"I would never do such a thing," Robin scoffed, fiddling with the hem of his sleeve for a bit. "But, um…I'm sorry for blowing up at you like that. I shouldn't have let my emotions get the better of me."

Something in Chrom's chest stirred as he saw Robin's downturned face. "Robin, you spend so much of every day just listening and giving counsel to the others, including myself. You always step in to keep us calm and sane. Honestly, I'm a bit surprised you don't blow up from stress more often—you're only human, after all." He gave a good-natured smile. "Anyway, I suppose that's what I get for my earlier blunder. I, um, hope you know that I didn't mean to insult you as a person, or, um, h-how you look."

"I did end up piecing that together eventually, yes," Robin sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, "but seriously, Chrom, what were you even trying to say?"

"Nothing," Chrom said a little too quickly, "just, you're completely normal, and that's really very good, you're good in a normal way, so I don't want you to feel—"

He saw Robin raise a fist in front of his mouth as he began to snicker. "Chrom, Chrom, enough. Forget I even asked. It's okay."

The two of them shared a glance, before laughing together as Chrom raised a sheepish hand to the back of his head. He was feeling relieved that Robin seemed to be back to his usual self.

There was a brief pause, a more comfortable silence settling between them.

Brightening, he piped up, "You know, if you think about it, it was only a matter of time before we saw each other naked."

"Wh—" Robin shook his head as if to clear it, holding both of his hands in the air. "What exactly are you implying?"

"We often train together," Chrom began.

"O-okay?"

"And we spend so much time together otherwise," he continued.

"Uh..."

"It's only natural that our bathing schedules would end up lining up from time to time."

"Oh. Sure."

"Maybe this is a good thing," Chrom said with continued optimism. "Since we've seen each other naked, I'm sure that our skills on the battlefield will only improve. Now that we're closer than ever before, we can overcome any foe in our path."

Robin's brow furrowed as he held up a finger, mouth opening for second, closing without a sound, and opening again. "...You're…You're saying that the memory of my naked body will motivate you to run more Risen through with your blade," he said with a mixture of horror, mortification, and a healthy dose of dull irony.

"Oh, I—" Chrom coughed, "when you put it like that, er—" He scrambled back up to his feet. "Uh, perhaps we'd better forget this whole thing."

"Perhaps that would be best," Robin said, but not without the slightest wry smile at the edge of his mouth. He seemed to be recovering from Chrom's many stumbles faster than Chrom himself was. "Don't worry, though, partner. Your secret battle technique is safe with me."

"Right. What? Oh, right. I'll, uh, be off, now." Chrom moved to give Robin the usual pat on the shoulder, only to notice that he was still sitting and too low to the ground. His hand automatically moved to pat him on the head, instead, but as the blood rushed to his face at the thought of that, he instead opted to jerk a thumb in the direction he was to go off in, pivot, and follow that direction.

As Chrom stomped away, willing the awkwardness in his bones to evaporate—no, for himself to simply evaporate—he thought he heard Robin stifle a small laugh.

Author's note: They're morons, your honor