A/N: I am SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU ALL! I refuse to update if I get no reviews. All I'm asking for is ONE review, at the very least! I know some of you are reading, so please. Please for my sanity's sake review or I don't think I'll bother updating anymore. If anyone cares about me updating at all that is.

Hermione comes back in this chapter, and we have Christmas. I didn't want to make it too long, so I capped it off there. I'm writing the next chapter as we speak, and that'll centre around new years.

WARNING: DARK MATERIAL. I had to say it, it's hinted at, so don't read if you're not up for it. This story is rated M though... so you shouldn't be reading if you're not for that kind of thing anyways.

Chapter 9: Holidays and Attachment (Part 1)

Draco: Last Week of November

It hadn't been easy, not at all. I had thought of bolting about a million times while I handled the situation, with grace obviously, since a Malfoy will never do anything without grace. But I stuck it through, more for my sake than hers. I suppose I am just lonely and that is all.

Throughout the week, I had discussed with her my entire issue. In fact, I think I had told her every detail that had happened to me from the start of the war to the finish and I had never felt so unburdened in my entire life. I almost felt guilty, pushing everything onto her shoulders, but for once I felt happy that there was someone who pitied me and everything that I had gone through.

"It wasn't easy, it never was. When Dumbledore offered me sanctuary that night in the astronomy tower, you have absolutely no idea how much I wanted to take it... but the death eaters came in before I could do anything about it. I haven't regretted anything more, but he...The Dark Lord, he..."

I told her things that I had not even disclosed to my shrinks all those years back. Perhaps if I had, they wouldn't have sent me away so quickly. Then again, perhaps it was for the best that I contained everything within myself.

She learned things about me that I was too afraid to disclose to anyone else. Things that I did not want to live with by myself anymore. And she accommodated me for which I was grateful. She did what she could to make me a part of her little space she had created for herself in her small apartment. She attempted to make sure that my dark, dark secrets could stay here too, comfortably. I began to see her in a whole new light.

"I remember that day when you and your friends were caught and dragged in to my family's manor... well, by that point; it wasn't much of a home. I refused to disclose who you were... I felt it was my duty to protect him, Potter, that is. But I was punished so poorly for it after..." I could hardly continue, choking at the memory of it, but she urged me on. "They locked me for days on end, like a prisoner, the lights always kept to full brightness so that I was always constantly blinded... and sent them in, all the death eaters, one by one, and they would- they would-"

I remember crying, softly, choking on my words. This I had not done in so long, bleakness being my choice of comfort. It felt oddly relieving, crying, though I had been raised to believe that there was no dignity in making such a fool of oneself, in front of a lady as well! But she did not scoff, but instead held me to her neck and I recall falling asleep after she charmed her ceilings higher, her walls apart and I remember feeling relieved at the spaciousness, the claustrophobic feeling slowly receding.

I remember realizing that my assumptions of her softness were correct, but I had no memory of making such an assumption to begin with.

For the years to come, I would realize that this was the most efficient way to fall asleep. Sheer darkness enveloping the both of us, her wrapped comfortably around me, letting me revel in her softness, and her wonderful scent wafting over enticingly into my senses. I would realize that her neck was the most comforting place for my head to rest against, and that her presence would keep the bad dreams at bay. It was a shock to my system, one I was not about to acknowledge.

"I would hide every night, after they released me, under my bed, and recount everything so that I should not forget all that I had gone through. I would let myself come undone there, tear at my conscience, my sanity... and when day would come, I would shut all my thoughts and capabilities away and pretend as if I were perfect, that I had not failed. I would act for my family's sake so that they would not do to my mother, what they did to me... but that did not carry out...as I had expected..."

When she had come to grips with the fact that I was damaged, she cleaned out everything under her bed without another word, and despite my weak protests that she need not change anything on my account.

That week we spent many hours under her bed, and I poured my heart out to her, after which she shared hers with me. I had never felt so close to another human being since my mother. I had never thought I would ever want to spend a single moment like this, in a space that had become sacred to me, with a girl that I had loathed.

I would come to learn that she would become my pillar, one that I had never had before. To think, I had ridiculed this girl, and those like her, for so many years of my life, over something as silly as blood!

However, I hadn't exactly believed in my father's twisted ideas for quite some time. They had hardly made sense to me, even before the war had started. I had simply been far too much of a coward to address the situation I had found myself in.

For now, I was grateful for the girl that had decided to come rescue me from all of the evils my father had allowed to become reality. Despite my shock, I lay there with her, in her home, her hand clasped tightly in mine.

Yes, I was consciously attaching myself unconditionally to Hermione Jean Granger.

Hermione:

As odd as it sounds, I had begun to cohabitate with Draco Malfoy, who used to be "the Slytherin Prince", back in the day. But as I'd soon come to realize, he was absolutely nothing like he was back in the day! I couldn't have been more pleased with this development, honestly. I finally have someone here, in New York, who treats me like the intelligent human being that I am.

And not just some other stupid bimbo they want to sleep with.

I suppose it's only fair to elaborate these developments. After all, no one can ever make sense of anything I say if it's out of context.

The morning after I'd found and healed Draco (yes, I call him Draco now apparently, since that's his name, and not Malfoy, like I used to and was extremely comfortable with), I received a letter from Kevin Greene, my co-worker that I had a lousy crush on because I was lonely. Yes, the guy who took me to a place to talk about fashion.

Hermione,

I'm sorry I can't make it tonight, I hope you don't mind? I have urgent business to attend to. Lunch on Monday, instead?

Thanks for understanding!

Kevin.

At the time, of course, I took it as a convenient blessing so that I could deal with Draco (Malfoy. Did I mention he's a MALFOY? I'm spending all my time with a fucking MALFOY!). And deal with him did I! We started what turned out to be a weeklong spouting of madness. He told me things I didn't want to believe.

I don't think I should even think about them they're that horrid. I told him things I didn't want to remember, and I think he doesn't think about it much either. We just accept each other, and I'm glad to leave it at that and take it in stride.

It was a lot to juggle with at first, listening to him, trying to understand, trying to open myself up for him to see, telling him things I probably haven't told anyone before. But on top of that, finding the will to leave him alone in my apartment while I went to work and battled the rest of the world. It was hard, at first. It was a hell of a week, as I remember it. I don't think either of us slept a wink out of our own accord.

Three things stand out embellished in my memory of that week. They are as follows:

Draco Malfoy is a blessing in disguise, and I couldn't have been smarter in being a curious batty stalker and saving his life. (Exaggeration accounted for).

We share a lot of the same fears, likes and dislikes. For example, we can't stand mirrors. I only did have the one in the toilet, just to be sure that I looked acceptable for work. We both love books, and music and an unprecedented appetite for liquorice, cinnamon hearts and ice cream. We both can't stand the idea of returning to what we were living before.

Kevin Greene is a slimy bastard.

It's an odd list to have, so I suppose I ought to be a little bit more explanatory. Don't worry one bit, I was getting to it. I shall explain myself! Though not in order, I sincerely hope you don't mind.

As it so happens, Kevin Greene is a slimy bastard.

When Monday arrived to signal the start of another dreaded work week, I found myself curled around Draco, practically sleeping against him in his lap. We had probably fallen asleep on the couch after a long, long talk the night before, and I noticed he was rather beautiful as he slept.

But that revelation was soon overshadowed by the fact that my exciting weekend was over and that I now had to return to work. My unfortunate glance at the clock told me I was going to be late, as well. Again. Did I say again? I'm not normally late, but who cares with a job that useless and boring?

I woke up the sleeping beauty and told him I had work, which he acknowledged and said he was leaving and that he was really sorry for imposing this long. I don't know what overcame me. Instead of saying, yeah you smarmy bastard, you've been here since Saturday night, I told him to stay, to help himself to food because I was running a tad bit late.

I suppose I'm just a lonely attention absorbing idiot.

So, I went to work, being extremely thankful that Draco had not brought a wand with him. (He despises magic, which is something I certainly have to work on helping him move around, because that's essentially what he has left, as far as I'm concerned. But he tells me he's not ready to have anything to do with it). I suppose you might think I'm a bit of a control freak, and worry needlessly. But we were talking about Draco Malfoy. (MALFOY! The Malfoy. If you haven't grasped that yet, I mean, I've said it quite a few times... shocked? I am!)

Kevin was his adoring self during lunch, treating me like arm candy the entire time, which I so despise. It was the usual Kevin behaviour, of course, that is, until he was approached by a pretty blonde in a department I'd never heard of.

"Hi, baby, thanks for last night, when can we do it again?" She practically cooed at him!

"Uh, sure, no problem... you know Hermione, right? We work in the same department." He blabbered on, I think, mostly so she wouldn't say much more to him. He was completely out of his element. This was something I should have picked up immediately if I hadn't been so caught up with Draco fucking Malfoy.

After that awkward conversation was up, he immediately turned to me and said, "I'm so sorry, that was nothing honestly... Mallory just needed help moving into her new apartment and I was just, you know... helping."

An explanation which I just absently accepted because my mind was so clouded with... thoughts you've probably caught onto by now. No wonder the man thinks I'm dimwitted! I suppose I deserve it now, upon reflection.

"So how's about we go out on Friday? I promise I won't ditch this time," he said through his signature grin. The bastard. I used to think it was cute. Remembering it now just makes me want to beat myself up.

I was still distracted, as you can imagine, so I just smiled politely and nodded. Then almost hit myself over the head for saying yes because I realized I didn't feel like putting up with this idiot anymore.

The week passed in a daze, and it was probably the most effortless work week I'd ever had in all my career working at any ministry at all. This was most likely due to the fact that my mind was occupied elsewhere. That, or everyone else noticed that my mind was occupied elsewhere and didn't bother me with unnecessary nonsense. I'm grateful for either or.

What got me through it was knowing that someone was in my apartment, waiting for me to come home and actually properly caring that I had a shitty day at a job that I hated.

The evenings I spent with the blonde man also explain the second point on my list. I learned so much about him that I'm shocked I even remember all of it. It was all a blur, like a very good novel whose pages just magically turn all by itself and I'm just powerless to stop it.

Friday, unfortunately came, and I found myself dreading telling Draco that I had to go out for the evening. I'd become attached to him in so short a time, and again, powerless to stop it.

"I have to go see a friend, tonight, because I promised, but don't worry! I won't take long, and I'll be home early so-", he cut me off, which was a good thing, seeing as I have this slight tendency to ramble.

"That is perfectly alright," he said in his completely cultured, quiet tone, where as I was already on the brink of squeaky panic.

"What?"

"I think I can manage on my own for a night. Or go back...er...home, if you wish for me to leave, while you're gone," he seemed a bit pained at that thought. I just shook my head. I'd already learned by this point that he hated that house and everything in it. Minus the elf, who had already come looking for him, apparently.

He had "addressed the issue" early one morning while I had been asleep.

He watched me prepare myself, even helped me pick out something appropriate for the weather, and I felt like we were friends, almost. That is, until he figured out the "friend" I was seeing was a male. Then he shut down and I can't quite understand to this day why I felt so immensely guilty for making him feel that awkward.

He barely offered a bye before I left, and it had me in awful worried jitters all night. It would have been an awful night without the damper. As I remember it, it was painfully awkward, insanely boring and I'm quite sure my brain had turned to mush before the main course had even been brought out.

He'd taken me to some sushi bar that had received very good reviews in some news tabloid or another. I, myself, hate fish, much less raw fish. Paired with him trying to treat me as if I were his personal girl to drape himself over...and the silly conversation where he treated me as if I were the stupidest girl on the planet! I suppose, I snapped somewhere in the middle. Good looks don't excuse such behaviour.

"I'd like to go home now, Kevin, if you don't mind terribly..." It wasn't even 8:30. He just smirked. Later I understood that he had thought I wanted to sleep with him, the pompous arse.

When we reached my flat, I quickly said goodbye and unlocked the door. I thought I'd made it clear that I just wanted to get away when-

"Aren't you going to invite me inside, babe?" I turned to find him leaning far too close to me for comfort. Sighing, which I'm sure he mistook for another sexual sign, I shook my head.

"I'm actually really tired, I'm going to head in for the night-" When he leaned forward, pinned me, and shoved his lips against mine. And moaned.

The disgusting fucker.

"Love it when you girls play hard to get, it's such a turn on, baby."

"Get off me! Now!"

The struggle that issued was horrific, in which he continued to believe that I was "playing hard to get" and got his gritty hands in enough places that I still haven't been able to wash the memory off yet.

I praise the heavens and point to the first point of my list, when I tell you that I was so glad for the door to be wrenched open and find a sort of shocked looking Draco standing there with a bowl of something in his hand.

Said bowl was smashed on the bastards head as he was pulled off me and slammed against the wall.

"Leave and if you have any sense that that large head of yours, you will not come back. Do you understand?" I'm being completely honest when I say I've never seen a Malfoy look this livid. I could literally feel cold fury rolling off of him in waves.

Kevin felt it too, apparently, but like all men, he was stupid enough to put on a brave front. "Who the fuck are you to tell me to what to do?"

Crossing his arms across his chest he stared Kevin down. Even though he must have only had an inch on the now worried mess, it seemed as if he towered over him. "Sebastian Dominique and this is my girlfriend you were molesting."

To say I was shocked was an understatement. For two reasons, that is. Firstly, Sebastian Dominique just happens to be the most influential entrepreneur in the entirety of the United States Wizarding and Muggle populations. He was also a very influential writer. I had all of his books.

Secondly, obviously, he called me his girlfriend. Girlfriend? I just stood there with my mouth open with my mind reeling. Kevin wasn't too far off, either. He stammered a lot of apologies before practically running to the stairs.

I barely noticed Draco pulling be gently into my apartment, didn't pay any attention to him taking my coat off and ushering me into a seat. All that I could concentrate on was "Sebastian Dominique and this is my girlfriend you were molesting!"

Before I could say anything, my stomach rumbled and spoke for me.

He chuckled. "Hungry? I made pasta."

And so, we didn't speak, but we ate Italian food and watched old films on the telly for the rest of the night.

Girlfriend?

Since that day, Draco practically lives with me, but leaves randomly once in a while so that he can write without me disturbing him, though he gives the opposite excuse. He's become my friend, closer than I can imagine. In my head, he's slowly replacing the empty hole that Harry and Ron used to fill before things fell to shit.

We don't talk about where things are going, or how things have been between us. We just go with it. It's as if it's a taboo subject, but at the moment, I can't find myself minding.

There are wordless agreements between us. Such as, we both go to my bed together and since I allow him to do so, he pays for rent. He cooks every Tuesday and Thursday and we watch films on Friday, without fail.

This was something I could definitely get used to.

Draco: December 25th

This year, as every year that circumstance has allowed, was a quiet Christmas. In the way of gifts, I received baked goods and a jumper from my elf, a bottle of wine from my employees and a stack of books from Hermione.

I myself offered her a trinket in gratitude for all her accommodation and her acceptance of all my flaws. As well as for not mentioning that I had an alias in this country. When I had moved here, my mother had deemed it proper for me to busy myself, but being a Malfoy had been an undesirable option at the moment.

Hiding my identity was exactly what I had needed. With spare time and memories to run from, I invested the Malfoy fortune and spent my time doing what I do best. Make believe.

At first, it was an efficient method of distracting myself from the memories, and slipping into insanity, for my mother's sake. Eventually, I became filthy rich. Now, I write novels for pleasure, and as a method to vent when I am sane. I have been sane here, with Hermione, the longest I have been since my mother's death.

And now I write, since business runs itself, as I have designed it to.

The diamond bracelet was also an apology for allowing the news to spread in the ministry that Hermione is my girlfriend. For all intents and purposes she is, but it is something that we do not acknowledge, even if I practically live with her.

I understood that the promotion she received was due to my fame, and perhaps so that I would be charitable to the ministry. I understood that that was not something that she wanted from her career. She did not want to be a noticeable figure, as she was in London. She does not want to make her career off of fame, but instead hard work.

This is a quality that I can admire, having gone through such a phase myself. Things are not truly yours if they are not created through your hard earning labour.

I cannot say I regret the action if it keeps filthy men away from her. I do not think my mind could take another violation as that one. But she is as sweet as ever.

We cooked and baked during the day, whilst drinking eggnog and listening to tunes our parents might have listened to on the radio. It was peaceful. I felt as if all was almost right in the world, and nothing should exist outside of these four walls.

I could spend the rest of my life here, just like this, content forever.

Spying the gold and diamond adorned on her wrist, I found that I was pleased she had accepted it despite making a fuss and rambling, which she does to a fault. I found that I could be happy if I could mark her as mine, even if in a small way.

The day passed uneventfully, thank goodness it was so peaceful. I would like to believe that the two of us deserve this peace and perhaps it can be long lasting, if my luck has not run out as of yet. I would like to believe that Hermione would wish to stay this way with me. I cannot be sure if she is like this simply because she is lonely or if I am something desirable to have.

The honest truth be spoken, I am broke, despite the front I imagine myself to put up, however ineffectively. This is all I have, and I hope and pray that this news she never hear, for I would not be able to bear it if I lost this as well.

I fear returning to the helplessness and the empty bliss of madness. That was not a life that I had envisioned for myself. Disorientation is a slow poison.

Yet I tell myself that if I could just have this one peaceful memory, that it could last me forever and wherever I went despite anything that happens. Even if this lasts or not. But I find that I am just lying to myself when I think these things.

For now, however, I am content with my Hermione Granger.

A/N: Happy holidays, you lot. I love you, even if you don't review.

(PS: More Hermione? Or More Draco? )