WOOT! Happy 50th chapter! I wrote just about all of it beforehand in my notebook, so… It might seem a bit scattered but don't worry. We all like Peeta's POV, right?

oOo

PEETA'S POV

It took a minute for me to clear my brain and register what just happened, and by the time I did, Katniss was gone. I sat there on the edge of the bed for another moment briefly running my tongue along the outside of my bottom lip. I could still taste her. Coppery and hesitant. But she had left me just sitting there on her bed, remembering the screams of terror that had woke me up half an hour before, and the kiss that said more than words.

Mindlessly, I got up and jogged down the stairs. If Katniss had been honest, she's in the kitchen making some inedible form of breakfast. Only pausing to brush off my shirt, I opened the kitchen door hesitantly and walked in. Inside, Katniss was leaning on the counter, head bent in thought, back to me. In front of her there was a just of orange juice and two glasses; one full, one half-full. When I came in, her head snapped up and she stuttered, brows furrowed.

"I—" She pursed her lips endearingly and hen hastily filled the second cup up the rest of the way, putting the juice back after she was done. Wordlessly, she handed me the glass.

"Thanks." Though me fingers were curled around the glass, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Her beautiful face, vacant in thought. Her slim neck and shoulders. Her chest, curving down to a waist and narrow hips. The small pink nighty that I dared catch her in, which fell short, exposing lean legs from years of running in the forest. She was barefoot.

"Why are you staring at me?" Katniss asked quietly, somewhat self-consciously. Her shoulders were hunched uncomfortably and her brows were creased.

I blinked and looked away. "Because…I'm in mild shock."

Nothing was said to that. She just turned away, reaching a hand towards the toasted. It had gone off a second earlier, producing four surprisingly non-burnt pieces of toast. Katniss just grabbed those and began to spread jam on them wordlessly.

I didn't push her. All I did was resist touching her shoulder and sit down. When she was done fixing our breakfasts, she just set the plates down on the table. Her brows were still furrowed, and I was determined to know the reason.

We didn't speak for another five minutes about. Neither of us ate much for those five minutes either. I just sat there, leaning forwards on my elbows, watching Katniss through my eyelashes. Katniss, however, didn't look at me once. She had her arms crossed on the table as well, head bowed down to her food. When the five minutes passed, she sighed and pressed her cheek against the cool wood of the table.

"We've kissed before…" Katniss said quietly out of the blue. "I don't know why this time…." She turned so where her head was propped on her chin.

I wanted to bring up Monday when she oh-so-amusingly pointed out that I was a great kisser (never mind wanting to murder Benj for flirting with her). Instead, I tried to catch her eye and took a breath. "Because you've changed. It's different because you're different."

Katniss glanced up at me, looking almost surprised that I had said that. "That doesn't make any sense. It's only been four…five days. You can't change a person in less than a week. A lifetime, maybe. But even then, it should have changed what a single kiss felt like." Though a tad blunt, she didn't blush.

"It was controlled and had a reason. It wasn't mindless." I took a drink of juice. "And you have to admit, that's a change in itself."

That right there earned me a blush from Katniss. She averted her gaze and grumbled, though I knew she agreed with me. "That makes sense, I guess. But it's never that easy. I'll just keep trying…" she trailed off, mumbling, and then promptly took a bite of toast.

I wondered to myself why she was so pessimistic and disbelieving. If she could just accept "now" for what it is and not question the good. I wished I could change her view around, make her realize that the world isn't out to get her (anymore).

I stood up and Katniss' eyes followed me around the table. She frowned when I held my hand down to her.

"What?" she asked, eyebrows still puckered.

All I did was nod once, gazing down intently at her, not dropping my outstretched hand.

Tentatively, she took it and stood up. Her nighty was bunched around her hips and she seemed smaller next to me than before. When she raised her brow at me, all I did was just tuck her under my arms and press my chin lightly to her neck.

"You don't have to keep trying, Katniss." I told her softly. "I don't know why you can't accept that maybe it is this easy. You don't have to keep killing yourself over something that may be as good as it gets."

Katniss had her arms only halfway around me, fingers bunched around the material of my shirt at the waist. She had her forehead on my shoulder. "This can't be as good as it gets. I-I'm still…"

What? Mentally unstable? An idiot? I wanted to shake my head, but I didn't get the chance.

"Unreliable, rash, inconsistent, semi-insane, ludicrous, and stupid enough not to let you sweep me off my feet." Her words nearly blurred together she spoke so fast. Katniss lifted her head off my shoulder and blinked at me, eyes wide and sad. "If this is as good as it gets I'm doomed. We're doomed." Making a noise of exhaustion, she put her head back. "I wish we could go back to how it was before, the two of us…"

I hated when she said that! "Before when, Katniss? Before the Games? Before the Quell? Before you killed Snow? Before you decided you aren't good enough for me?" I swallowed, not wanting to feel—but nevertheless feeling a small lump form in my throat. "What's so great about 'before' anyway? What's so great that you want to leave now and rewind all the good you've done, all the accomplishments you've made and the good times we've had?" Closing my eyes, I leaned down and pressed the side of my face against her neck. "You said you're too stupid to let me sweep you off your feet. Well, I don't need your permission. I'm not going to give up no matter what it takes."

Silence.

The stillness was nearly painful, but when something was finally said, it was by Katniss.

She lifted her head off of me. "Damn you, Peeta, for making so much sense."

I felt like laughing out loud in relief. It's about time something got through to her. The grin on my face was automatic when I pulled away. "Glad we can come to this agreement.

And finally, finally I got that smile from Katniss that I'd been waiting for. It was tired and small, but nonetheless real. She rubbed her eyes. "Well, I'm breaking my own rule here." To my raised eyebrows, she said nothing. "I'll be right back."

The second after Katniss left I spun around on one foot like an idiot, resisting doing anything else that would be considered foolish. Maybe she'll understand now. Maybe she won't shy away from me anymore. Maybe things will be okay now. I sure hoped.

While she was gone, I scarfed the rest of my toast. Some part of me wondered exactly what "rule" she was breaking, but I think it had to do with the fact that she was wearing practically nothing and had slept with me in that practically-nothing piece of clothing. Though I didn't say anything about it, it was pretty obvious she wasn't wearing anything under it. Last night when she was all crossing her arms and legs to cover up the fact. Not to mention when she woke up screaming and thrashing around, keeping her nighty pulled down was probably the least of her concerns…

Attempting to cover up my thoughts with a loud cough, I wigged some water from the sink until I felt sloshy. Some thoughts, so matter how fun to think, aren't meant to be thought of at all. Even if you are a testosterone-fueled teenage boy. Still.

I laughed out loud, but it came out in a strangled snort. Water burned in my nose.

"What's so funny?" Katniss came in at that precise moment, busy braiding her hair back. She was in a normal pair of trousers and a dark green tank-top, looking freshly showered.

Still grinning, I shook my head. "Just thinking…. I see you've changed." The topic was switched abruptly. "You shower fast."

She scowled, knowing full well I wasn't telling her something. That's okay. Sometimes my thoughts aren't for her ears. Katniss remained surly for another, and then she sighed and preceded to eat the rest of her breakfast. "I think…. I think I had a breakthrough in the shower."

Oh no. Breakthroughs in the shower were never good. It was so hard not to start laughing again, imagining the next words Katniss said was 'I learned I'm a boy'. Quiet strangled noises came from my throat until I controlled them. I raised my eyebrows casually at her. "And what would that be?"

Her silver eyes shifted with embarrassment for a second and she cleared her throat. ""I-I….Well, you—" Katniss made a noise of frustration. "I don't know. It's just… I think I've been upset at all the wrong things here."

Still watching her curiously, I took yet another drink of water. "Like what?"

"...Well… Like-like getting really angry and yelling at you. And for us not sharing a house and for people wanting me to go into therapy and for going mad a lot." She sighed, setting down her piece of toast. "Couples fight all the time. And it doesn't make them love each other less. And-and people don't normally share houses unless they're married, which we aren't."

I was doing my best not to stare open-mouthed at her. Instead, I busied myself with drinking more water. I'm going to need to go to the bathroom soon… Swallowing, I put my eyes back on Katniss.

She took another deep breath. "And therapy can't hurt anything. Who gives a crap about my pride? Everyone knows I'm 'physiologically unstable'."

We both gave small laughs to that because she said those two words so seriously.

"And really, I've yet to let it soak in that mental breakdowns are normal for teenage girls. Honestly." She rolled her eyes as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, which it kind of was. "I'm just a semi-normal 18-year-old girl who's just happened to have witnessed over thirty deaths in her life and who's been through more crap than just about anyone else in Panem right now."

There was another silence.

For a long time I didn't speak, just stared at my feet. We could almost hear the clock above us ticking away every second, and it was too many ticks before either one of us spoke.

"Peeta…?" Katniss' voice was tentative and quiet. When I looked up at her, her eyebrows were puckered and her lower lip was sticking out ever so slightly in a confused manner. I saw her hand twitch and move just an inch closer to me as if to hold my own, but she changed her mind.

Taking a breath, I raised my eyebrows and shook my head slowly in disbelief. "…I have been telling you the same thing for ages. It's about time you realize it yourself."My face split into a welcome grin. "You have no idea how glad I am to finally here it come from your own mouth."

Katniss smiled, too, but it looked more relieved than anything. "Good. I thought you were going to call me idiotic or something…"

"No, never." I promised. "You just rendered me speechless for a minute."

Thunderstruck beyond belief, I wrapped my left arm around Katniss' waist, newly unafraid of her reaction. And I was right to be unafraid, because she wrapped her own around me as well.

"I think…" she made a face of musing. "…I'm going to get out today."

"Really?" I raised my eyebrows. "Out where?"

"The woods."

Of course. Though it made perfect sense, I was still a bit concerned, considering the last time I let her be out there alone. When I glanced down at Katniss, she was looking at me with exasperation.

"I can take care of myself, Peeta." She said, rolling her eyes.

"I know."

"I won't…." A grimace twisted her small face. "….try to kill myself, or have a…meltdown. Again."

Though she looked a little ashamed, that didn't stop me from bending down and pressing my lips against her forehead. "I don't want to have to come and get you."

Katniss smiled sadly. "You won't. Not this time." Shaking her head, she detached herself from me and preceded to fill up a water bottle at the sink. "I don't think I'm going to hunt this time. Just…wander. Reacquaint myself with the dangers of isolation and wilderness."

That made me laugh. "Okay. Good luck on that."

When Katniss was done filling her bottle and had tucked it in her belt, we walked over to the front door together in no hurry. Though it was probably just as hot as it was yesterday, she slung a jacket over her shoulders just in case. "I don't know how long I'll be gone, but it doesn't matter I guess. But you might want to go back to the bakery to see if Benj had set the place on fire yet.

I nearly slapped my forehead. Benj! Crap. He's probably….I don't know, sold himself on the kitchen floor or something, stupid man-whore. And the wedding cake! This time I really did slap my forehead. "If he so much as touches the cake, he's getting fired!"

Katniss furrowed her brow. "Don't' fire him. You need all the help you can get out there."

"He's arrogant and incompetent." I didn't mention flirtatious, but only because I knew she'd just laugh. At least one of us got a kick out of Benj's hitting on her. "I might as well hire someone else before he does something reckless."

She just shrugged. "You do that. I'll see you later?"

I nodded. "Come by when you're done." A grin spread across my face. "In one piece, please."

"If you insist." Katniss stretched up on her toes and kissed me, right on the corner of my mouth. "See you later."

"Bye, Katniss." I said quietly, and watched her as she left, wishing I could see this side of Katniss Everdeen more often.

When she was gone, I went back to my house to get ready for the day ahead of me at the bakery. I showered and changed into a different pair of clothes, attempting to shake off the leftover feeling of the strange morning I've had. After I was done with all that, I took my time walking into town. Though it was a start having the bakery actually open, regular hours and a dependable schedule would obviously be appreciated by most people in town. As soon as I got another baker or two hired, it would be possible to have such a thing and be able to take leave when necessary. With any hope there should be some people to interview today. But my interviews were basically:

"What's your name?"

"Bob."

"How old are you?"

"40."

"Can you bake cake?"

"Nah, I don't reckon I can."

"Can you bake cookies?"

"Nope."

"Can you bake…bread?"

"….never tried."

It usually went fast, though I've only ever interviewed two people; Benj, and the girl before him. She could bake adequately, but the knife in the waistband of her jeans and the crew-cut bothered me.

When I got to my bakery, I found something odd there for me. Benjamin Erik was sitting up against the door, head lolled on his shoulder, jaw slack, obviously sleeping.

I frowned at him and shook his shoulder. "BENJAMIN. Wake up."

With a snort and a grumble, his eyes peeled open. When he saw me, Benj gave a great start, scrambling up. "Where were you? I thought I was supposed to be here at eight! Did I hear wrong?"

"No." I jiggled the key in the doorknob of the bakery and heard the tumblers catch. "OI was late, that's all. But only by an hour."

Benj wiped a stray bit of drool from his lip. "Oh. Okay. Sorry."

He annoyed me sometimes. "Why didn't you open up without me?"

A red flush appeared on his cheeks. "I forgot my keys here."

I suppose that's the kind of person you get from District 1. Beauty, but no brains. Oh well. At least he didn't have the chance to burn the place down. As I walked in, I switched the light on and changed the sign to 'open'.

"Get to work on the macadamia loaves, Benj." I ordered him, stowing the keys in my pocket. "We're out."

Benj heaved a sign, but obeyed.

The day went slowly at first. We had a few customers, and some people looking for a job. The first person that came in was a man named was Thomas Ernie, and he could bake just fine. The only problem I found with him was that his 15-year-old some was being practically dragged around by the hair everywhere Thomas went, because of something he did or did not do. They kept on stopping the interview just to argue. Thomas seemed to not want his son, Ender, out of his sight, which would mean having to hire Ender, too, but the kid wasn't having any of his father's crap. His attitude was not one I'd see being of much help here, and it was finally decided that neither of them would be hired. I all but kicked them out with a polite "I'll consider".

But finally, there was a woman. She came in at about 11:00, and stood so still in the doorway for so long, I thought she wasn't going to do anything at all. She looked maybe twenty-five, with short black hair and skin a shade or two darker than Katniss', but not really dark. She was fair and small, but about as timid as a mouse. And her resemblance was of one, too. When she stepped up to the counter and spoke, I was surprised.

"I would like," she said in an almost breathless voice, words near-silent, "a job."

I took out my usual pad of paper for things kinds of things. "What's your name?"

"Anna-Mae Rull. I'm twenty-two."

Hm… I jotted this down, considering everything I should consider. To be perfectly honest, I had a feeling she would be very much frightened by Benj, but you never knew. I rubbed my chin and looked up at her again. "Can you bake, Anna-Mae?"

She blinked nervously up at me. "I was the daughter of the baker in District 11. Mother taught me everything I know, and she was the best there was."

"'Was'?" I couldn't help but frown, wondering this girl's story. Being the baker's daughter seemed a very good choice for an employee, and I was eager to hear more about her.

"Mother and Father died in the bombing, as did my fiancé." A tiny smile appeared on her face, and she said in her usual breathless voice, "Where's better to start than here?"

I tried smiling back at her to coax her out of her shell, because if she was going to work with Benj as well, she'll need it. "Very true, very true. Well, schedules and hours aren't really top priority right now, but I'm able to arrange something concrete if you prefer."

She shrugged, black eyes wandering off around the bakery. "I have nothing else to do any other time."

Odd girl.

I cleared my throat, storing the paper. "Well, Anna-Mae, if you'd like to meet your co-worker, Benja—"

"I got the job?" She turned back to me, thin eyebrows forming a small crease.

I nodded. "Yes ma-am, if you accept."

She nodded as I did.

"Well," I walked around the counter and put a light hand on her shoulder, guiding her back to the kitchen. "When you come to work every day you are to grab an apron from around here and…"

I showed her around, told her the routine and how to work all the ovens, the special refrigerator which was not to be touched right then (it held the wedding cake), and everything else she might need to know. Benjamin was oddly quiet and polite while introducing himself, earning himself a smile back from Anna-Mae. Right then a weight was lifted off my shoulders. That took care of them. They might keep one another in check.

I got to work on the new schedule.

The minutes turned into hours, and at about ten 'till two the little bell on the door jingled merrily. My two employees looked up, but I waved them off to get it myself. And, to my surprise, it was Katniss. In one piece.

"Hey," I said softly, furrowing my eyebrows slightly because of her despondent expression. I folded my hands on the top of the high display counter dividing us two. "How was your trip?"

She put her hand on the countertop too, slipping it into mine. Her face didn't change, though, and I worried something was wrong. Katniss shrugged. "It was fine."

For a moment there was a pause, in which I made up my mind. "Hold on," I turned away from her and went back into the kitchen, taking off my apron as I went. Both pair of eyes were on me as I hung it up. "Katniss is here, so I—"

Benj wolf-whistled and I turned my most menacing gaze on him, glaring until he broke eye contact and looked away.

"Anyways, I need to go. Close at seven-thirty, if you must go for a dinner break but make it short," It was probably not too smart to leave Benj with this nice young lady, but I don't think he would try anything bad or blow anything up. When I looked at Anna-Mae, she seemed a little concerned. "Don't worry. Would you like to man the cash register?" I asked her, giving her a chance to keep her distance until she was more comfortable with Benj.

She nodded gratefully, and I waved her towards me.

Before I left the kitchen, though, I turned back to my other employee. "And Benj? Please don't forget your keys. If I'm not here tomorrow at eight, open up without me."

He nodded once.

And with that, I grabbed a cloth sack of cheese buns in one hand and took Anna-Mae back out into the store part of the bakery to meet Katniss. Katniss was still standing there, arms clutched around her chest in thought. When I came back out and she saw my new worker, a strange look crossed her face, though I couldn't place it entirely.

"This is Katniss," I told Anna-Mae, waving my hand at Katniss. Then I looked at Katniss. "This is my new baker, Anna-Mae."

They shook hands in the shy, awkward way girls do, and Katniss nodded her head. "It's nice to meet you, Anna-Mae."

The other girl nodded without saying anything. Anna-Mae back up and went to go stand behind the cash register, and I took that as a sign that I could leave. I offered Katniss my arm—which she accepted—and we set out.

As we walked, I watched her, which her head low and shoulders slumped. I wanted to ask what happened, I wanted to comfort her and put the smile she had on this morning back. But I didn't; just stayed silent and held her closer to me until we got home, cheese buns swinging merrily in one hand as if nothing has happened. They were just cheese buns, after all.

oOo

It'll explain things next chapter don't worry.

I have to admit, I feel very self-conscious and insignificant and amateurish ever since Last Tuesday. Someone just pointed out that this story is very plot-less, in fact, and I don't disagree. In fact, I know that. It's painful, that I know that yet still write. And writing this chapter out just makes me feel even worse because it was pointless, and…well, let's just say that the person I talked to has a much better brain than I. I just feel insignificant and small, but mostly…. Mostly, I'm upset. I'm not accusing anybody, but the one thing I hate most, my biggest pet peeve is when I'm lied to. Especially about things like this. That's all I'm saying, is that I'm disappointed not about someone telling me this story is basically a waste of talent (my own words, not his), not that. But just because people lie to me about it. Anyhoo, review if you want. I don't see why you would though…