Allen woke with his arm in a sling and familiar ache in his chest. Surgery. They had replaced Tim again, a bit prematurely, but poor Tim had had a busy year.
He tried to breathe deeply and found it more painful than it should have been. Probably bruised ribs. He quit trying, just letting his body get air as it chose, wondering if he would have a white patch on his chest the size of Kanda's fist. It was possible. That sort of thing had happened before.
He tried to remember the last day or so, but all he could come up with was hospitals. Two different ones? Different wards in the same one? Was there something about being transported? Or had he been dreaming, or maybe remembering, because he'd been transported before. Where was he anyway?
He opened his eyes to an off-white, sterile room that smelled of disinfectant, sadly familiar, but hospital rooms didn't vary much from place to place. They'd put the IV in his right wrist, where he had an especially tempting and somewhat overused vein. To his left was a night stand. To his right was a rolling tray table and on the other side of that was a recliner.
It was occupied by Kanda, who appeared to be sleeping except that his music was so loud that Allen could hear it through the ear buds.
"Oy!" Allen said.
Nothing happened.
Allen took hold of the edge of the tray table and shoved it as hard as he could tolerate. It collided with the recliner, startling Kanda out of whatever zone he was in. "Hey!" Kanda said.
"Wake the fuck up, BaKanda!"
"Gimme a break," Kanda said, taking his earbuds out. "I haven't slept in two days, while you've done nothing but sleep."
"Painkillers and general anesthesia aren't sleep," Allen complained.
"You're fine," Kanda said. "Quit whining."
"What does fine mean?" Allen asked.
Kanda looked away. "They replaced the defibrillator and repositioned one of the leads."
That explained the tearing pain he'd felt when he was hit. The lead must have irritated something as it moved.
"There's also some cracked cartilage. They said your heart's fine, though," Kanda said, "or at least as fine as it gets."
"That's good," Allen said. "Where am I?"
"Home," Kanda said. "They stabilized you in Paris and sent you here so your own doc could do the surgery. What the fuck were you thinking? I didn't mean to hit you there."
"That's what it takes," Allen said. "I need a direct hit to the chest."
"What about China?" Kanda asked.
"I got hit, shoved into a wall, actually."
"Fuck," Kanda said. "I didn't know that. I thought too much stress would do it."
"It can, but getting into a fistfight with you isn't that stressful," Allen said.
"Fuck you!"
"It's true. You want to stress me out swatting at me, you're going to have to step up your game."
"If you don't watch your mouth, I will."
"Good luck! Although speaking of swatting at me, why aren't you in jail?"
"Komui. As soon as the paramedics took you, he sent me to the train station with Johnny. Either they weren't looking very hard or the stories weren't straight, because I got through with no trouble. I don't know if they're going to charge me or what."
"They'll probably want to talk to me first," Allen said.
"Yeah." Kanda sighed. "I'm not totally off the hook though. You'll be pleased to know that Komui's as good as his word."
"How so?" Allen asked, hoping that meant what he thought it did.
"He expelled me. He waited until I got home, so I was there when they pulled the plugs."
"I'm sorry," Allen said, relieved, but Kanda's nightmare was finally over.
Kanda rested his head against the back of the chair, looking up at the ceiling. "It was past time. The only reason it wasn't done sooner was because the Rouvelliers intervened. Winston wasn't wrong. Long-term comas aren't pretty, and I'd been watching him deteriorate. I'd decided that this year would be it, but I couldn't quite do it. I didn't just want it to end, I wanted to pay the Order back for what they'd done to him, and I couldn't figure out how. Rouvellier knew it, too." Kanda took a long breath, closing his eyes. "I was thinking of beating Tyki and then quitting, but I didn't want to give the Order anything. I didn't want their bullshit to pay off. Then Rouvellier said that he might keep him alive if I took second again, instead of if I won. I didn't know what the fuck to do."
Kanda had needed a third way out, and Komui had made crystal-clear what would happen to anyone who triggered Allen's ICD.
"They gave him a lot of morphine," Kanda said, "so it was painless as well as quick. His body couldn't breathe by itself. They took him off the respirator, and he just stopped."
I'm sorry seemed a bit redundant, not to mention inadequate. "What was his name?" Allen asked.
Kanda made a face. "Alma Karma. I don't know what idiot named us."
"Yuu is a perfectly good Japanese name," Allen said.
"I wasn't living in Japan," Kanda said. "I can't even be totally sure I'm Japanese."
"What will you do now?" Allen asked.
"I don't know," Kanda said. "Father Tiedoll said I could finish the year, but after that, I don't know."
"What are your marks like?" Allen asked. "If you pass your exams, you could go to university."
"I guess," Kanda said. "My marks are decent, but I used to study at the hospital."
"Oh," Allen said. Even in a coma, Kanda's friend had been so tightly woven into his life that letting go was changing everything.
"I was thinking of getting a job and moving in with Johnny, maybe." Kanda shrugged. "Too much still up in the air. But I'll graduate. That much is settled."
"Good," Allen said.
"It's funny," Kanda said, gazing at the wall. "It's like Alma never existed. He had no family, no home, nothing. The only clothes he wore were hospital gowns. It's as if he was never here at all."
"You should do something to remember him."
"Like what?" Kanda asked.
"I don't know." Kanda's only jewelry was a bead bracelet, and he didn't always wear it. "A tattoo maybe?"
"Where would I get that kind of money?" Kanda scoffed.
"Where's my stuff?"
"What?"
"My clothes, my wallet, that sort of thing?"
"In the wardrobe."
"Could you get my wallet, please?"
Kanda got up, looking every bit as tired as he claimed to be, and fished Allen's wallet out of a bag in the wardrobe.
Allen pulled a card out of a more or less hidden pocket. "This has a thousand euro on it."
"What?"
"That should cover something decent."
Kanda's eyes narrowed. "Where did you get that?"
Allen palmed the card. "Get what?"
"Bean sprout!"
"You start asking stupid questions, I'm not giving you anything."
"That wasn't a stupid question. What have you been doing?"
"Playing poker," Allen said.
"Poker?"
"It's a card game," Allen said with exaggerated patience.
"I know what it is," Kanda said, irritated. "I didn't know you played for money."
"Do you have a problem with it?"
"Why do I have a feeling that I should?" Kanda asked.
"Fine with me," Allen said, making a show of putting the card back.
Kanda held out his hand. "Gimme."
"Or what?"
"Or I'll have a talk with Father Tiedoll and Komui. I'm sure they'd be fascinated to hear about your gambling."
"Poker isn't gambling." Not the way Allen played, anyway.
"I'm sure they'd still be fascinated."
"Fuck you!" Allen said, but he gave up the card, less out of any sense of threat than out of a sense that it was the only way Kanda would accept it. He resented gifts, but the biggest gift of his life had also been his heaviest burden.
"I'll go tell the nurse you're awake," Kanda said, tucking the card into his back pocket. "They'll want to look you over, and there are others who want to see you."
"Others?" Allen asked.
"Fucking waiting room is standing room only," Kanda said.
"Who?"
"Everybody, including a couple of Campbells, Tyki and Road. Why are they here?"
Allen was glad they were there, because Road owed him an explanation. "I have no idea."
Kanda snorted, then to Allen's surprise, he smiled, the first genuine smile Allen had ever seen on him. "Thank you," he said from the doorway. "You really helped me."
Allen smiled back. "Don't mention it," he said, knowing that Kanda would have by far preferred not to mention it in the first place, and would be best pleased if it was never mentioned again. Still, there was something new in how Kanda moved. He had the same grace and precision, but he was lighter, more relaxed. It might be a while before he was able to rest easy, but at least now he could rest.