Thank you for your patience, everyone! Real-life caught up and I had to take some much-needed mental breaks. Hope you enjoy this extra long chapter!
Trigger Warning: Suicide, Death
True to her word at the Sumidagawa Hanabi Festival, Yukari somehow made it to the game against Argentina, where they had lost to Oikawa's team after a grueling five sets. Of course, this only helped reinforce what she'd been telling Kageyama for years about how his team always lost every game she attended and how she would never attend another one of his games because she considered herself to be his bad luck charm.
The loss against Argentina meant Japan was out of the Olympics, which only moved up Kageyama's departure date for Italy. He knew he didn't have to leave so early, but he'd insisted to the Ali Roma coach that he wanted to move earlier so he could get used to things over there before the rest of the players came back from the Olympics and practice started for the new season.
Two days before his planned departure, his teammates decided to rent out a local izakaya they frequented and celebrate together. Even though they had lost to Argentina, all of them were still proud of their performance at the Olympics and were in good spirits after the initial disappointment from the loss.
Everyone from the national team was there along with Kageyama's teammates from the Schweiden Adlers and other players he'd gotten to know along the way. Even the Karasuno guys had come down from Miyagi-ken. Yukari too had traded shifts with her fellow residents and worked a few overnight shifts in a row to make sure she could be there that Friday night.
The men were pretty rowdy, the food kept coming and so did the drinks. Somehow, Yukari found herself sitting between Kageyama and Ushijima, with Kuroo directly across from her, leaning on his elbow and smiling at her in his usual Cheshire-cat way. He'd spent the entire night overtly shifting plates around so her favorite dishes were within reach. She was glad Kageyama was slightly tipsy and too busy arguing with Atsumu and Hinata about something idiotic to notice the looks Kuroo had been giving her.
Unfortunately, the man on her other side did notice. "Why is Kuroo-san smiling like that at you?" Ushijima's question dragged her attention away from the glare she was shooting at Kuroo.
"Huh? Oh, I don't know, he just likes to get under people's skin all the time."
Ushijima's olive green eyes watched her closely. "I didn't get a chance to talk to you at the Hanabi festival. How have you been?"
"My residency has been keeping me super busy, but good. How about you…Wakawaka?"
He narrowed his eyes at her, but the corners of his lips lifted slightly. "I thought we agreed you would stop calling me that."
Yukari let out an exaggerated sigh. "Did I ever tell you you're no fun, Toshi?"
This time, his lips curved into a full smile. "All the time." He reached a hand up and pushed a few stray strands of her hair behind her ear before resting his hand on her shoulder, his fingers toying with her hair. "Did I ever tell you how much I loved your hair?"
She felt a knot form in her throat, but gave him a soft smile. "You never let me forget." Without even looking, she could feel Kuroo's eyes watching them both closely.
"Even though you swam all the time, it was always so soft and smelled nice."
Yukari turned to face Ushijima properly and noticed the pink tinge in his cheeks and the slur in his words. Ah, he's already had too many drinks. He'd always been a lightweight when it came to drinking, she recalled.
"Do you remember how annoyed you were with me when we first met? At the fact that I, a non-Shiratorizawa student, dared to come to your school and swim laps in its pool."
A deep rumble of a laugh escaped his lips. "I do, but that was before I realized how much I liked being around you."
Sometimes, the man was so sincere that it was hard not to blush at his words even though she knew he meant well. "And then you found out I went to Karasuno, was friends with Tobio and gave me the cold shoulder for no reason! Remember that?"
Another laugh. "Like I said, I liked you and I didn't handle my emotions well back then."
"And you do now?" She gave him a challenging look.
He smiled as he covered her hand with his big, strong one. It almost felt like a big paw, but she had to admit, it was very warm and familiar.
"With Kageyama leaving, I know you'll have one less friend in Tokyo, but I'd be honored if you ever wanted to hang out." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. A crooked smile played on his lips and Yukari could tell Ushijima was being nothing but sincere. "I'm here if you need anything."
Before she could respond, she felt her hand being pulled out from under Ushijima's hand.
"No! Ushijima-san, you said you and Yukari were over!" Kageyama's outburst silenced everyone and Yukari's eyes widened as she felt everyone's attention on them.
She elbowed Kageyama and yanked her hand from his grasp. "Shut up, Tobio, you're drunk!"
Kageyama mumbled incoherently before leaning forward and banging his head on the table with a loud 'thud'. Everyone leaned forward to check on him and Yukari used that opportunity to step out and get a breather from all the noise and the men.
When the average height of all of them was upwards of 172cm, Yukari couldn't help but feel like a dwarf surrounded by giants. Although that wasn't totally wrong. They were giants - giant, superstar players of their generation. What was it that Kuroo called them? Monsters. How very fitting, she thought as she glanced at them before pushing the izakaya door close behind her.
It was a surprisingly chilly night for August and Yukari immediately regretted not bringing a jacket with her. August was usually the hottest month in Tokyo and she was not expecting the wind or the rain that had made an appearance that day.
Just as she was debating if she should go back in and grab either Kageyama or Tsukishima's jackets, she felt something soft and warm around her bare shoulders. The familiar faint maple scent filled her breath. She turned to find Kuroo standing there in just his pale blue shirt with his tie loosened and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows - his suit jacket now resting on her shoulders.
"You had goosebumps," he said at he stood next to her, blocking the wind with his body.
She mumbled a quiet 'thank you' as she pulled it closer and sighed at the warmth it provided. The jacket was no doubt still warm from when he'd been wearing it.
"So…I didn't realize you and Ushijima were that close."
Yukari tried to hide her smile and failed. "You sound jealous."
"Maybe I am."
She glanced at him. "I know Kenma probably mentioned my ex, but I did date other guys before him, Kuroo."
Kuroo cocked an eyebrow at her. "You used to date Ushijima? The star volleyball player?"
Yukari chuckled as she turned back to the narrow street the izakaya was located on and watched the other people passing by. "Toshi was my first boyfriend and we dated for over a year."
Kuroo let out a low whistle. "How come no one knew about it? I know the tabloids are always dying to write about these kind of things."
"Well, we started dating when I was still in my third year of high school so back then we only saw each other when he came home to visit. After I came to Tokyo, we always spent our date nights indoors, not because we were forced to, but because we wanted to. He was exhausted and I was always studying even when I stayed over." She paused and glanced at him, one corner of her lips curling up. "Toshi liked having me to himself."
Yukari wiggled her eyebrows and could see the gears turning in Kuroo's head, picturing all the things she knew her words had suggested. He glared at her and she laughed.
"You're not going to make me jealous using something like that. We're both adults here."
She raised her eyebrows at him. "Oh we are?" Laughter broke out again. Kuroo was fun.
"How did it all start though? I can't imagine he just met you and fell head over heels for you. You…." He gestured at her with his hands. "…just don't look like his type."
She let out a scoff. "When I started high school, there were two things most people didn't know about me. The first is that I used to swim competitively in junior high and was scouted by some of the high school swim teams, including Shiratorizawa."
Kuroo's face was filled with surprise, but he gestured for her to continue.
"I turned them all down, because I wanted to focus on my studies in high school and apply for a university in Tokyo." She took a deep breath and exhaled, her breath fogging up the air in front of her face just barely.
"But I loved swimming so I couldn't just give that up, which brings me to the second thing people didn't know about me. Both my parents are teachers at Shiratorizawa, which is partly the reason I didn't want to go there for high school. Although, the main reason was because I hate the color purple and couldn't stand their uniforms." Kuroo chuckled and Yukari smiled at the sound. "If you ever tell anyone that, I will deny saying it!"
"Let me guess…you somehow leveraged your parents' positions to get access to Shiratorizawa's pool?"
"Well that and because the swim coach was hoping I'd change my mind and take her up on her offer to join the team. Since Shiratorizawa is within walking distance from my house, I had no reason to turn down the opportunity to go swim in the only Olympic-sized swimming pool in our neighborhood."
"And that's how you met Ushijima?"
Yukari nodded. "We were barely friends when I started high school, but we became friendly enough that Toshi would walk me home sometimes after his practice. He asked me out a couple of times throughout the years and I finally accepted once I was sure I didn't have any lingering feelings for Tobio."
She paused and he glanced at her, studying the way her brows were furrowed as if she were lost in a memory. "Did something happen?"
"No…not really. Toshi was very good to me and I think I may have taken advantage of that." Yukari rocked back and forth on her toes as she continued. "At the time, I think I just wanted to be loved and taken care of. Toshi was willing to provide all of that so sometimes, I do feel like I used his love for me. He deserves better."
When Kuroo didn't say anything, she turned to him. He was staring straight at her, his grey eyes filled with different emotions fighting for dominance, like storm clouds racing across a clear summer sky. The expression on his face felt foreign to her.
He took a step towards her, closing the gap between them and slipped his arms around her waist. "And what makes you think you don't?"
Before she could answer, the izakaya door slid open and Tsukishima poked his head out, the noise from inside filtering out through the gap of the open door. "You two lovebirds should come back in before the others notice you're gone."
A couple more hours passed by before the izakaya owner finally kicked them all out saying it was closing time. The temperature had dropped even further, but between the alcohol she had consumed and Kuroo's jacket that was still on her shoulders, Yukari didn't feel the cold.
Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it wasn't, but she leaned against Kuroo as they all waited for taxis. He wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders. If the other guys saw it, they didn't say anything and quite frankly, she didn't care in that moment. She'd blame it on the alcohol, she decided.
When they finally caught a taxi, she could feel their eyes follow them as the two of them climbed into the same taxi after saying their quick 'goodbyes' to everyone that was still there. Kenma and Tsukishima both smirking at them with a knowing look on their faces.
The taxi ride was quiet as well - his arm was still around her, keeping her close against him. His other elbow leaned against the door, propping up his head as he watched the streetlights pass by. She closed her eyes and snuggled against him, listening to the soft music playing on the car's radio.
When the taxi pulled up in front of her apartment building, Kuroo helped her out before almost getting back into the empty taxi. Her hold on his hand was the only thing that stopped him.
"You're not staying over?" It wasn't like him to just drop her off when it was this late and especially when she'd had so much to drink.
Wordlessly, he studied her before turning back to pay the taxi driver and apologizing for holding him up. Tightening his hold on her hand, he led her towards the elevator. The entire time she wondered if she'd said something wrong to upset him.
As the entire night's events replayed in her mind during the elevator ride and the short walk from the elevator to her door, she tried to figure out what she could have said or done to upset him like this. This was the first time he'd given her this sort of silent treatment and she quite honestly felt ill-equipped on how to respond.
As soon as she took a step up from the genkan, she whipped around with her hands on her hips.
"What did I do?"
Kuroo glanced at her as he straightened both of their shoes. "Nothing."
"I know I upset you, Kuroo."
He straightened back up and ran a hand through his hair. "What you said about your relationship with Ushijima got me thinking. That's all."
She blinked, not understanding what he meant. He looked down at her as he blew out a soft breath. "You said you stayed with him because you wanted to be loved and taken care of, but you didn't exactly feel the same way he did." A pause. "I wonder if it's the same with us."
Yukari's face softened as she let Kuroo's words settle into the empty space between them. "I'm not that naive teenager anymore, Kuroo. I know what I want for myself." She placed a hand on his cheek and he leaned into her touch as her thumb ran back and forth against his skin. He turned his face and pressed a kiss into the palm of her hand.
Again, maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it wasn't, but feeling brave for the second time that night, Yukari took a step closer as she wrapped both arms around his neck.
Staring into his storm cloud-colored eyes, she whispered, "I do like being with you, Kuroo. Even if I'm not ready to say the words I know you want to hear."
And then she vaguely remembered leaning forward until her lips met his. For some reason, she'd always expected them to be dry and rough, but they weren't. In fact, they were soft and warm and she found herself wanting more. She should have known. After all, every time Kuroo had kissed her neck or shoulders, she had wanted more then as well.
Kuroo's hands ran along the sides of her body before settling on her waist. Their grip tightening as their kiss deepened. When she finally pulled away for air and met his gaze, his eyes had softened a little.
"Still upset with me?"
The cheeky grin returned to his face as he tilted his head to one side. "I could use a bit more convincing."
This time he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers gently before moving his lips further down to her neck. The pain from his nibbling was followed by that sweet lick of his tongue. Small whimpers escaped her lips and it took all of Yukari's self-control to not beg for more.
Her body was fully pressed up against his as his hands slid past her waist and grabbed her butt cheeks, giving them both a hard squeeze. She let out a surprised yelp as he hoisted her up, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. His jacket lay forgotten on the floor where it had landed moments earlier.
Her hands grabbed at the hairs on the nape of his neck as he placed more kisses along her jawline all the way up to her ear. His hot breath tickled her ear as he murmured teasingly, "Did Ushijima ever make you feel the way I do right now?"
"Ushijima was strong enough to pick me up with just one hand." She whispered back against his ear and could feel him shudder as she flicked her tongue over the shell of his ear.
"I don't think you want to get me all riled up and jealous, sweetheart."
That devilish grin and glint in his eyes were back, making Yukari's heart jump in her chest as her stomach twisted in anticipation, almost wanting to tease him more just to see what he'd do.
"Should I be worried you're thinking about one of my exes while making out with me?"
He laughed and she knew then that they had passed over whatever rough patch they'd encountered minutes ago.
His lips returned to her neck, alternating between sucking and licking any skin they could find and Yukari struggled to keep her mind clear as she undid his tie and threw it to the floor. She felt his grip on her back tighten even more as he took careful steps into her apartment.
Once his shins hit the side of her bed, he leaned forward and placed her down on the bed gently without breaking his attention on her neck. Propping himself up on both elbows, he hovered over her and for once, Yukari fully realized how big and hard Kuroo's body felt against hers.
He caught her lips with his and gently scraped his teeth on her bottom lip, earning him a gasp, which he used as his chance to dip his tongue into her mouth. She could taste the sake he'd been sipping on earlier at dinner. His tongue wrestled against her for control and she found herself giving up simply because she wanted to.
Just as her hand came up and began unbuttoning his shirt, he pulled away and wrapped one large hand around hers. She looked up at him, confused.
"No." The word came out strangled from his throat, as if he was just remembering how to talk again.
"Don't you want me?" A pit formed in Yukari's stomach, expecting the worst. Maybe he'd changed his mind.
Kuroo pushed her hands against the mattress above her head and then fully pressed the length of his body against hers. "Does that feel like I don't want you?"
Oh, he did want her. Very much indeed. Yukari could feel her face turning crimson as she felt his erection against her thighs. "Then?"
"When I take you, I want you to be fully sober so you're aware of everything I plan on doing to you."
Before she realized it, she'd let out an annoyed whine. "Not fair, Kuroo!"
He chuckled as he loosened his grip on her hands, his chest brushing against her as the chuckle rumbled through his chest. "Never said I played fair, sweetheart."
He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose before rolling down on to his side. "I'm going to go take a cold shower."
Yukari refused to unwrap her legs around his waist and pulled him back closer. "Can I join?"
"Then it would defeat the purpose of the cold shower." His fingers wrapped around her ankles and gently pried them apart before he pushed off the bed.
Before he could finish grabbing a clean shirt from the wardrobe, Yukari raced down the hall and slammed the bathroom door behind her. He shook his head and took a seat back on the bed as he heard the shower turn on.
Kuroo made the mistake of looking at her right as she exited the bathroom moments later and he groaned in annoyance, mostly at himself. He could feel his erection stirring again as his eyes ran down her body.
Her hair was in a loose bun but stray strands framed her face. Her face was still flushed, her lips still swollen and he knew it wasn't from the shower. The little red marks on her neck reminded him of the sounds he'd been able to elicit from her earlier.
One step forward and a tug of the towel wrapped around her would be all it took for them to pick up where they'd left off earlier. Instead, Kuroo willed the image out of his mind as the ice cold water hit his face. He already knew he was going to need a very long shower.
By the time he was done, Yukari was already sound asleep in bed, in a thin cami that hugged her torso tightly and did nothing to hide the outline of her breasts. The bed dipped under his weight and she cracked an eye open.
"You know that was our first kiss, right?"
He shushed her as he pulled her against his chest before pressing a featherlight kiss to her temple. "And it won't be our last, sweetheart."
Not coming home tonight?
Tobio's face scrunched up in confusion as he read the text from Kuroo on Yukari's phone for the fifth time. He glanced to his bedroom where Yukari and Miwa were chatting as they packed his clothes for his move to Italy. Their laughter floated through the open doorway to where he was. He slid Yukari's phone into his pocket before picking up the two glasses of juice and walking back to his room.
"Nee-san, I think the curry is starting to burn."
"No!" His sister dropped whatever she was folding and dashed over to the kitchen.
Tobio placed the two glasses on his desk and leaned against the doorframe, watching Yukari fold his hoodies and stack them in a neat little pile on the floor next to his bed. Without a word he plopped down on to the floor next to her and laid back with his head resting on her lap. Yukari glanced at him without missing a beat of what she was doing.
"Are you going to actually pack any of this yourself?" She tossed one of his shirts on his face and Tobio batted it away.
Holding her phone up to her face, he spat out the question that had been on his mind, "Why is Kuroo-san asking you if you're coming home?"
The look of surprise flitted across her face for a split second, but Tobio noticed, having been friends with her for the better part of the past nine years.
"Well?"
"He crashes at my place sometimes because it's closer to his office," she explained with a casual one-shoulder shrug, hoping to avoid having an actual conversation about it.
Tobio raised an eyebrow at her as the hand holding up her phone lowered. "I didn't realize you two were a thing."
"We're…not?" Yukari pondered how to explain their situation. One wrong word and she knew he was going to go into his over-protective mode, which had started after what had happened with her ex a few years back.
Noticing how she'd gone quiet all of a sudden, Tobio narrowed his eyes at her as his face grew a shade darker. "You're not dating him, but he sleeps over at your place? Last I visited, there's only one bed in your apartment."
Yukari's lips pressed into a tight line as her fingers played with the hem of one of his hoodies. "Yes, Tobio. Can you just leave it at that?"
As if hearing her mental plea for help, Miwa called out to tell them dinner was ready and that she expected the two of them to be at the table within a minute or they weren't getting any dinner. Tobio shot her an ominous look that told her this conversation was far from over as he stood up and walked out of his bedroom. Yukari let out an annoyed groan as she followed him and dropped herself into the seat next to him at the dining table.
Miwa ran her eyes over them as she spooned piping hot curry over plates of rice. "Did you two get into a fight in the last five minutes I left you alone?"
Tobio just grunted as he took his plate and started digging in. "Yukari's dating someone and she didn't tell me," Tobio mumbled between bites.
Before he could react, Miwa smacked his head, almost pushing his entire face into the hot plate of food. "And why does she need to do that? She's her own person. She doesn't need you to sign off on her decisions!"
Yukari shot her a grateful look and Miwa winked at her before shooting another glare at her brother to drive home her point. As if on cue, Yukari's phone started ringing and the three of them stared at the caller ID as the phone vibrated on the dining table between her and Tobio. Kuroo's name floated across her phone's screen along with a silly selfie he'd saved as his picture.
"Is that him?" Miwa asked as she shoved the half-empty curry pot away to get a better look at the picture on Yukari's phone.
Yukari and Tobio both made a grab for it, but Yukari was just a smidge faster and managed to get it first. Sticking her tongue out at him, she dashed to his room and kicked the door behind her.
"Moshi moshi."
"Hi, sweetheart." She couldn't fight the corners of her lips from curving up at the sound of his familiar deep voice. "Why do you sound out of breath?"
"Tobio saw your text and was being…stupid." She let out a sigh.
The silence from the other end stretched for a few seconds. "Do you want me to talk to him?"
Before Yukari could respond, she felt the phone pulled out of her grasp. She whipped her head around to find Tobio holding the phone against his ear. She tried to grab it back, but he moved the phone to his other hand before wrapping an arm around her waist and holding her still against his body. With her hands caught between their chests, Yukari tried to wiggle out of his iron grip but she made little progress.
She cursed his strong athlete arms. "Tobio, will you freaking calm down?! This is not what Kei meant by taking care of me!"
"Well, you're not giving me a straight answer so I'm going to ask Kuroo-san. That way when that annoying four eyes asks me about you two, I have a straight answer and he can't say I've been slacking!"
"Ask me what?" Kuroo's voice filled the room. During their struggle, Tobio had accidentally put the phone on speaker.
"Are you two dating, Kuroo-san?"
Yukari growled in annoyance as she tried harder to grab at the phone. Of course, Tobio would cut straight to the point.
"No." Disappointment filled her chest and Yukari didn't know why she was expecting a different answer. "But I'd like to if she'd let me."
Yukari froze at Kuroo's response and so did Tobio. She didn't know what surprised her more: the actual answer or the cocky attitude he had used to answer Tobio's question. Realizing that Tobio was distracted, she grabbed the phone back from him and turned off the speaker mode.
"Tobio! Go eat your dinner! This is between me and Kuroo."
With one last glare and a loud scoff, Tobio surprisingly complied. He trudged back to the dining table like a little child who had just received a scolding from their parent. Yukari pushed the door closed and made sure to lock it this time around.
"Why are you provoking Tobio?!"
A chuckle. Yukari could imagine him shrugging his shoulders with that signature grin on his lips. "Hey, he started it."
"This is Tobio we're talking about. He's simple-minded and has tunnel vision!"
"Fine fine. I'm sorry. If he's being too annoying, I can come pick you up so you can sleep at home with me."
Yukari didn't say it, but hearing him refer to her apartment as 'home' warmed her chest. She cleared her throat and willed that fuzzy feeling to go away. "Aww…are you having trouble sleeping without me?"
"…maybe?" A pause. "Given the history between you two, you can't blame me for being a little nervous about you sleeping over at his place."
Yukari chuckled. "You almost sound like an overprotective, jealous boyfriend, Kuroo." Before he could respond to that, she continued, "But no, I'm staying over, especially because I won't be able to go the airport tomorrow."
"Okay, good night. Don't miss me too much and when you're ready, I would love an answer to my earlier proposition."
Feigning ignorance about what he was referring to, Yukari muttered 'goodnight' before hanging up.
"Are you sure you don't want the bed?" Tobio glanced at Yukari who was already tucked into the spare futon on the floor next to his bed.
"For the last time Tobio, I do not want to sleep in your bed!"
He held his hands up at her in defeat before climbing into his bed. A moment later, his bedside lamp clicked off, casting the room into darkness. The streetlights outside scattered an eerie pale glow into the room - the only source of light at that point. The bed shifted under Tobio's weight and the covers rustled a little as he turned to look down at his friend.
"Does he treat you well?"
Yukari glanced up at her friend and her face softened, imagining the concern in his eyes that his tone hinted at. "Yes, he's been nothing but a gentleman."
The concern in Tobio's eyes lingered still. "You'll let me know if anything happens?"
"Tobio…"
He sat up and met her eyes. "I can't promise I'll fly over the second you call or text me since I might have games, but I'll come over as soon as possible."
Yukari sat up as well and grabbed his hand. "I can fight my own battles, Tobio."
"You don't have to though." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "You have me…and Tsukishima. Yachi and Miwa-nee are right here in Tokyo. I'm sure everyone else back home would come over right away if you just let them know."
Yukari swallowed as she formulated her answer. "I know everyone is there, but I can't let other people take care of my problems." She saw Tobio open his mouth, ready to retort, but a squeeze of her hand made him stop. "But I promise, if anything happens, I will be sure to let you know."
"Okay, I just don't want you to go through things alone like you did last time."
Yukari could feel the tears threatening to escape her eyes from the corners and she blinked them away, hoping Tobio hadn't noticed. She was thankful that his room was mostly dark.
"We should go to bed." She pulled her hand away and snuggled back into the futon. The mattress squeaked, signaling Tobio had followed suit.
"Have a safe flight, Tobio. Call me when you're all settled in."
The sun hadn't risen yet and Miwa's soft snores could be heard from her room. Although she knew she had to leave soon if she wanted to make it to her shift at the hospital on time, Yukari just couldn't talk herself into unwrapping her arms from around Tobio's neck. His arms around her waist implied he felt the same as they stood in the genkan of the siblings' apartment.
"I'll be back for the holidays," he mumbled into her hair, his warm breath tickling the shell of her ear. Not trusting herself with words, she just nodded.
Just as she was about to let go, Tobio spoke again, "I'm sorry…I couldn't give you what you wanted."
Yukari tried to pull back to look at his face, but Tobio held her tighter. They remained in that position awhile longer and she smiled into his shoulder as she spoke.
"Deep down, I always knew volleyball was your first and only love, Tobio." She let out a soft chuckle. "I never had a chance against it."
His embrace finally loosened enough for her to pull away and look up at his face. She gave him a small smile as she placed both hands on his cheeks and squeezed them a little.
"You gave me what I needed though…a friend. And for that I will always be grateful." Yukari lightly patted his cheeks and he leaned into her touch. "Without you, I'm not sure I'd have survived the last six years in Tokyo. I definitely wouldn't be standing here."
In that moment, Tobio's face was void of his usual scowl and intense look. Instead, it reflected the heartbroken look on Yukari's face.
Yukari stood on tip toes as she pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. "Take care, Kageyama Tobio. I'll see you when you come back to visit." Before Tobio's brain fully registered what had just transpired, Yukari was already gone. The cool morning air from outside brushed over his flushed cheek as the front door closed behind her.
Yukari let out a yawn as she leaned back behind the counter and stretched her arms. The psychiatric floor was silent, but since she was just filling in for one of the second-year residents, she didn't know if this was normal or not. The clock on the wall in front of her read 4:30 in the morning, which meant the resident for the next shift was going to be arriving soon to relieve her from her post.
Figuring she had time to do another round before the shift change, she told the night duty nurses where she was going before walking down the hall. Everything was quiet as the patients were all still deep asleep. As she neared the end of the hall, a shiver ran down her spine and goosebumps formed on her arms. Yukari noticed the air was cooler, which was odd because all the windows were sealed shut on the floor to discourage anyone from jumping out, accidental or otherwise.
A quick glance into each patient's room as she passed by confirmed that the windows were all closed. Just as she was about to turn back and head to the nurses' station, the empty bed in the last room at the end of the hall caught her eye. She quickly slid the door open and flicked the light switch, hoping her eyes were just playing tricks due to sleep deprivation.
This was a private room so there was only one bed and it was definitely empty. She leaned back out of the doorway to check the board outside the room that had the patient's name. Kondo Madoka. If she could recall correctly, this was the young ballerina who had hurt her ankle and was admitted to this ward to complete her psychological evaluation before being discharged.
Yukari raced down the hall back to the nurses' station as quietly as she could so as to not wake up the other patients. "Kondo-san isn't in her room!"
The two night duty nurses looked up in alarm. One reached for the phone immediately, no doubt to call security while the other walked around the counter to where Yukari was standing. "Nozawa-sensei, please check each room down that hall and I'll start with the other wing."
Yukari nodded before turning back to the hall she'd just run down from. She slid open the doors to each room as quietly as she could before walking in and checking each room's occupants. By the time she reached Kondo's empty room, she still hadn't found any trace of the ballerina.
Looking around, she noticed again how the air was indeed slightly cooler at the end of the hall. The door to the stairwell caught her eye and she wondered if perhaps Kondo had gone through there since it was right across from her room.
Pushing open the stairwell door, Yukari was greeted with a chilly gust that made the goosebumps on her arms multiply. Looking up, she realized it was coming from the higher floors. Her heart dropped as a dark thought entered her mind and she began climbing the stairs two at a time. The entire time, she prayed she was wrong but by the time she reached the roof and found the door to the roof terrace wide open, she knew her suspicions were probably closer to the truth.
Taking a step on to the grassy floor of the hospital's roof terrace, she glanced around searching for any signs of the missing ballerina. "Kondo-san?"
As she pulled her white doctor's coat closer around her body and squinted in the dimly-lit space, a flutter of white caught her eye on the right side of the terrace. Yukari whipped her head so fast it took her a few seconds to register that the ballerina was indeed sitting on the ledge of the roof with her back to Yukari.
"Kondo-san! Please get off the ledge." Yukari spoke in a loud but calm voice as she walked towards the young girl.
Even though she wanted to run over, she recalled from her training that doing so could spook the patient so she took cautious steps instead. The ballerina glanced back and yelled, "Don't come any closer or I'm going to jump!"
"No, please! Kondo-san, please get off the ledge. Let's talk about what you're going through."
As she slowly took another step towards where Kondo was sitting, Yukari regretted not telling the nurses she was heading up the stairs. However, she'd left the stairwell door open and prayed they saw it and put the pieces together before it was too late.
Yukari's hands trembled and her voice shook as she spoke to Kondo again. She knew she had to focus on getting the ballerina down from the ledge. If she jumped, Yukari wasn't sure she'd get there in time to grab her hand and if she did do that somehow, she knew for sure she didn't have the upper body strength to pull her back up over the ledge.
"I said don't come any closer!" Yukari froze mid-step and held her hands up in front of her.
"Please, Kondo-san, we can help you get through this difficult time, but only if you get down from the ledge."
Kondo's body shook with heavy sobs. "It's over! I'm already 20 and lost valuable training time when I broke my ankle. I'll never be as good as the others now!"
Yukari took another wary step towards the ledge while she racked her brain, trying to recall the notes she had read about Kondo's case. The ballerina had tripped and broken her ankle during a practice session. The ankle itself had already healed and she was almost done with her physical therapy. However, her main physician had referred her to the psychiatric ward to complete an evaluation because she was displaying signs of distress.
"Kondo-san, your ankle has healed beautifully and you're almost done with your physical therapy! You've already been through the worst. Please don't throw everything away when there's still a chance for you to go back to ballet."
Kondo wiped her face on her sleeves. "It's not the same! I won't be able to dance like I did before!"
Yukari glanced at the remaining distance between herself and the ledge. If she leaped forward now, she could reach the ledge. Right then, Kondo turned back and noticed how much closer Yukari had gotten.
"Stay away!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, but the ballerina momentarily forgot to keep her balance and began slipping off the ledge.
"NO!"
Yukari lunged forward with an outstretched arm. She winced as the rest of her body slammed into the side of the concrete ledge, but her outstretched hand managed to grab one of the ballerina's hands.
Fighting through the pain in her torso, Yukari wrapped her other hand around Kondo's wrist and looked down at the girl. "Hold on, Kondo-san! I'm going to pull you up!"
"No, let me go! I said let me go!"
Yukari cried out in pain as Kondo tried to twist her wrist free and when that didn't work, she scratched at Yukari's hands with the nails on her other hand. Biting down hard on her lower lip, Yukari placed her feet against the side of the ledge against her and kicked it hard, using the momentum to pull up the girl on the other side, but they both barely moved back an inch.
"Kondo-san, please! Try and grab the ledge."
Kondo just continued to twist and turn in Yukari's grasp, trying to free herself. Just as Yukari felt her strength slowly slipping away along with the ballerina's wrist, she heard multiple footsteps approaching behind her.
One of the night duty nurses and a few of the security staff immediately ran towards her and grabbed onto Kondo's wrist as well. Together, they managed to haul the patient back up and put her down on the terrace.
Yukari let out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding in and slumped to the ground, trying to calm down from the adrenaline rushing in her veins. A couple more people rushed past her towards the kicking and screaming patient.
The next few minutes were a blur as the nurses struggled to sedate Kondo before carrying her back down to her room. Yukari vaguely recalled one of them checking in on her to make sure she was fine, but Yukari could only nod or shake her head in response. Her breathing was still ragged and fogged up the early morning air in front of her face.
After she felt like she had a better grip on everything again, Yukari caught the next resident on duty up to speed before she trudged back to the lockers. She slid against her locker until she hit the floor and was sitting against it as she rubbed the sore parts of her torso that had slammed into the ledge earlier. She was sure there'd be a bruise the next day. Her hands were covered in small scratches that the nurses had cleaned up.
But it wasn't the physical wounds that haunted her. When she'd been holding on to Kondo's wrist, memories of a different body falling down and landing on the street in front of her had resurfaced. She could see it clearly as if it wear lying right there in front of her. The limbs bent at awkward angles with the head smashed. The blood seeping out from all over the body.
Yukari dug the heels of her hands into her closed eyes and mentally pushed those memories back to whatever dark corner of her mind they had escaped from. Even if three years had passed, she was still not ready to face what had happened that fateful day with her ex Ryuji.
Her labored breaths turned slow as she pulled her hands away from her eyes and blinked a few times at the bright fluorescent light that illuminated the drab locker room. She checked her phone and saw it was almost 6am, which meant Kuroo might still be asleep in her bed if she hurried home. Thinking of those warm strong arms that would wrap themselves around her the moment she climbed into bed, Yukari pushed herself up and decided to take a quick shower before changing.
Just as she was about head to the shower stalls, the locker room's door banged open and a few of the other first-year residents came running in with wide eyes.
"Nozawa-san! We're needed in the ER! There was a traffic accident and there are quite a few ambulances headed here."
Kuroo whistled absentmindedly as he stared at his phone while standing in front of the elevator. Yukari still hadn't come back home by the time he'd left for work and although it wasn't unusual given her occupation, he was still slightly concerned. He'd expected at least a text from her, but there'd been nothing so he'd texted her right before he'd left to let her know he'd made breakfast for her and to eat it before she went to bed.
It was already after lunch and she still hadn't responded to it. The text was still left at 'unread', which irked him even more and he debated calling her just in case. But he didn't want to come off as being overly worried since Yukari did have a strong track record of going to sleep as soon as she got home. For all he knew, she'd be walking around her room wrapped only in her sheets again by the time he got back from work.
Sliding the phone back into his pocket, Kuroo stepped into the elevator and smiled when he noticed Shirakawa Ayumi-sensei. Glancing around, he noticed she didn't have her usual residents with her.
"All alone today, Shirakawa-sensei?" He asked as he pressed the button for the lobby.
"I decided to give them a break after what happened this morning in the ER."
Kuroo raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"We had an influx of cases from that traffic accident near Shinjuku station."
Kuroo nodded as he glanced at the screen above the elevator doors to see how many floors remained before they arrived on the lobby. He'd vaguely recalled reading about it in the news during his morning commute even though the traffic around the station itself was back to normal by the time he'd left for work.
"Have you heard from Yukari?"
Kuroo shook his head. "I figured she went to sleep right after her shift."
Shirakawa's brows furrowed before she looked up at him again. "Would you mind checking in on her after work? And over the next few days?" A pause. "She was the first to find a suicidal patient on the roof and then she lost her first patient. Both happened within the span of a couple of hours this morning."
Kuroo's mind reeled from the words that left Shirakawa's lips. "O-o-of course! It sounds like she really had a rough day."
Shirakawa let out a sigh. "That doesn't even come close to describing it. I gave her a few days off, especially since she lost her first patient. That first patient death hits hard for every resident no matter how mentally prepared they are. It's usually the make or break moment for many of the residents. They either come back stronger or they drop out of the residency altogether."
Kuroo was silent. Was that why Yukari hadn't texted him back? Was she okay? Did she get back home all right? All of a sudden, a million questions ran through his mind. A phone call to check in didn't sound so out of the question anymore.
"Given Yukari's past experience with both suicide and death, I'm even more concerned today's events will bring those ugly memories to the surface for her. A person that young can only go through so much death before it breaks her."
Kuroo glanced at the doctor, confusion evident on his face. "Her…past experience?"
The doctor's eyebrows raised slightly. "Oh? You didn't know? One of her classmates jumped to his death right in front of her." She rubbed her chin as if she were trying to remember some important detail. "I believe it was three years ago and now that I'm thinking back, I think they might have been dating."
Kuroo's breath caught in his throat. Was this the ex Kenma had been referring to? He did say things hadn't ended well, but he never would have guessed things had ended that badly. He found himself repeatedly pressing the elevator button for the lobby as if that would make the elevator move any faster.
So the rating will definitely be going up in future chapters. ;) The next chapter is already halfway done so I'm expecting to get back on to my regular monthly schedule for future chapters.