Hi everyone!
remember where we were?
has House said his last word? what about Cuddy?...

thank you for reading and thank you for your kind reviews.
have a lovely day!

** CHAPTER 6 **

By the door, Cuddy leaned down to take her purse, which she had unthinkingly dropped on the floor when she'd arrived. As she was straightening up, she jumped with fright when she saw House was standing right in front of her, so close to her she was forced to take a step back. She hit the door behind her and unconsciously held her purse a little higher in front of her hips, grabbing the handle tighter with both her hands, like she would have with a shield to protect herself. House smiled at her provokingly.

"Oh no, you're not going anywhere," he said stepping closer, now practically making her curls sway with every breath he was taking. "You wanted to talk… and we're not done yet."

Cuddy jutted her chin up defiantly, and gradually released her hold around the purse's handle, allowing her arms to slightly stretch along her thighs.

"What now? You think you can actually make me stay? You don't seriously believe you can stop me from leaving if I want to," she challenged, shivering a little at the idea that he could.

She was obviously nervous but damn, was she hot! Her eyes were throwing little steel-grey darts at him, and her lips were pursed in a sensual angry pout. She looked so lost and confused. It was as if her body was leaning all tense against the door, asking him to let her go but appealing to him with every inch of her skin at the same time. House couldn't take it anymore. Only she could trigger storms of conflicting emotions in him like that. Only she could make him lower his guard and allow his feelings to be bared.

A stream of desire coursed through his veins, and he raised his hand to her face to caress her cheek. Cuddy recoiled a bit, almost unnoticeably, but House definitely noticed it. He froze instantly and clenched his jaw. Hurt mingled with sadness passed behind his gaze as he stared intently at her.

"What was that?" he asked, his eyebrows raised in astonishment

"What was what?"

"You flinched at the vision of my hand rising up to your face. Why?"

"I didn't flinch," she denied.

"Yes, you did," he stated, his voice becoming louder. "What were you thinking? That I was going to hit you?"

"Of course not! I just…I," Cuddy stammered, turning her head away to avoid his glare.

Then she realized how much just the idea in itself could be hurtful to him, when the thought hadn't even crossed her mind. She was simply tired and maybe feeling a bit uneasy. If anything, her involuntary shrinking back had been nothing but a proof of that.

"You think I'm actually capable of that?" House insisted, staring even more intensely at her as if looking for some hidden proof in the depth of her gaze.

Cuddy realized that her best strategy to end their argument was to subtly let it slide to a more objective level. She let her purse slide along her legs to free her hands. Pushing them against the door to pull herself up, she straightened up and stared back in his eyes just as deeply.

"Didn't you already prove that you were, indeed, capable of it?" she provoked, regaining her composure. "At least, so can testify several of your close co-workers and friends, not to mention the dozens of patients you've assaulted in the past years, while you were under either drug or alcohol effects, or both."

"Wilson and Chase are men," House answered bitterly, immediately understanding her allusion. "Maybe of the wuss kind, but that thing they've got in their pants helped them deal with it anyway. As for the patients, all men as well by the way, I'm pretty sure I had very good reasons to do that. Medical reasons that eventually surely saved their lives."

Cuddy tried to conceal her irritation, as she was forced to admit that House had a point, at least for the biggest part of it.

"But you," he continued, pointing an accusing finger at her. "You're a woman. You want to pretend you're strong and tough, but you're nothing but a little frail thing that would be too easy to beat up. And yet, you thought I could hit you anyway. You think that, since I'm just a poor, miserable cripple, I can only measure up with women, is that it?"

Cuddy heaved a deep sigh, feeling painfully helpless.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Why are you screwing with me?"

"Ha. You only wish I were!" House snickered. "Too bad: Your recent, increasing lack of sex appeal, what with you struggling to be that workaholic, annoying bitch you think you need to be, prevented me from making that huge mistake."

"I never wished to-" she objected, only referring to the sexual innuendo and ignoring the rest of his comment, that she knew was just deliberate provocation designed to escalate their argument.

"Sure! You forget about the other night," he replied, tit for tat. "You were practically clinging to me, like a koala on its tree branch, your whiny body begging for me to stay."

"That's not true!" she protested, somewhat offended by his assumption. "You took advantage of me because I was vulnerable and weak in a moment of despair. You stepped forward and kissed me!"

"And then I left, remember? Is that what you call taking advantage of the situation? Truth is, you're mad at me now because you wanted me to stay then. Just as much as you want to stay right now."

"I don't want to stay," she forcefully denied.

"Oh yes, you do!" he contradicted her, leaning forward, and placing his hands flat on the door on both sides of her shoulders. "You don't want to leave but you're hoping that by pretending you do, maybe I'll beg you to stay. We both know what you came here for, but you'd hate it if it sounded too beseeching. So, you'd rather fake your leaving than admit you're into me. Big time!"

"You're insane," she retorted grimly.

"Is that your way of saying: Damn right, House. You totally read me like a book!"

"You, son of a bitch, just let me go," she huffed through clenched teeth

"Give me one reason to believe that it's what you want," he said, leaning down closer to her face.

Cuddy gaped and a shiver ran up her spine. "I can give you plenty," she said, her voice trembling a little.

"Name one!" he challenged.

House was standing so close to her, she could feel the warmth of his breath brush her chin. She straightened up and placed her palm on his torso, pushing him back to regain some personal space.

"Because you're a pain in the ass who only does what he wants whenever he wants to, regardless of the rules, should they apply to friendship or work or whatever requires an interaction with a human being," she said, her cheeks flushing with fiery determination. "Because you're stubborn as a mule, never ever willing to admit you're wrong when you are, which, like it or not, occasionally happens."

Although Cuddy was undeniably poking his pride, House kept staring at her, defiantly. Her beautiful light-blue eyes became watery, and he saw her rapidly blinking a tear away, as she was trying to stay strong and focused.

Seeing her so fiercely trying to make her point while so fragile at the same time touched him in a way he didn't see coming. House was the one being insulted but he was the one feeling guilty. He knew he deserved every word she'd just said. She was right. And then, he suddenly saw hurt in her eyes as she finally stated, "Because you're an egocentric jerk who thinks he doesn't need anyone."

And it crushed him.

"You're wrong about that one," he replied, looking down at his feet. "Because I need you."

That last part had come out in a hoarse and shattered whisper before he had the time to hold it back.

Was it because he'd sensed pity underneath her words or because he was afraid that she might actually believe they were true that had hurt him the most, he couldn't tell, but, as soon as he heard them coming out of her mouth, through her trembling but perfectly framed lips, House knew for sure that he wanted that silly game to end. Even if he felt terrorized by that admission and where it could take them next.

Upon hearing House's confession, which by the rasping tone of it undeniably meant that he wasn't talking about their professional relationship, Cuddy's mouth dropped open and she stared at him, awestruck. Those three words were something she'd long persuaded herself she would never hear from him. And yet, they sounded like an absolutely genuine statement, devoid of all malice. However, the very idea that they were anything other than just a joke - whatever that something may be - completely destabilized her.

While she was focused on her own emotions, she barely registered the hurt behind House's eyes. So, she was more than a little taken aback when he suddenly straightened himself up and released her free by taking a step backward. She was even more stunned when he grabbed her upper arm and firmly pulled her away from the door. Once he'd cleared the way, he opened the door wide, making it clear that he wanted her out of his apartment. Bending to the side, he reached for his cane and started to walk back into his living room without looking at her.

"Close the door behind you on your way out," he said over his shoulder, limping toward his couch and forcefully rubbing his thigh with the palm of his hand.

Seeing his pain manifest in such a raw and obvious way, Cuddy suddenly felt overwhelmed by guilt. This is stupid, she thought. How could they keep pushing the other one away like they did, when they were just so infinitely in need of some kindness and attentions? If only they could see beyond that shield that they were stupidly holding on to, to protect themselves, maybe a bit of happiness could come out of their damaged personalities…

On an impulse, without thinking about it twice, Cuddy shut the door and let her coat and purse fall on the floor. She practically ran toward House and caught him up before he had time to pace halfway into his living room. Resolutely, she walked round him and stood in front of him, stubbornly blocking his way and preventing him from taking a step forward, moving swiftly whenever he tried to walk past her.

Realizing she was not willing to budge, House gave up trying and stared at her, aggravated. No woman had the power to drive him nuts like she did. If it had been up to him, he would have gotten rid of all that stupid sexual tension and fuck her right there and then. Furiously… Or made love to her. He wasn't quite sure how to define that urge he felt growing inside him. He only knew that it was there, somehow, because of that undeniable thing he was feeling whenever she was near him. He couldn't put a word on it, didn't want to anyway, but he couldn't keep pretending that it didn't exist, either.

But after the hurtful comments Cuddy had made about him not needing anyone, he was now trying, really hard, to convince himself that she'd be better off without him constantly jerking her around. Because, as he'd once again pitifully demonstrated, and no matter how much he hated himself for it, he'd just yet again been a complete ass. And it infuriated him.

And yet, none of it was a joke. House badly wanted to pretend that it didn't matter but that was just a lie. One that he was telling himself to avoid dealing with his feelings for her. And the fact that he was so afraid she might find out about them was further proof that he was not ready to deal with them himself. It was pointless anyway because Cuddy wanted a baby. She didn't want a man, and even less a man like him. There was no place for him in her life.

"Move out of my way," he snapped harshly.

"No."

Unmoved by her resistance, he raised his cane toward her.

"Move out of my way or I'll hit you."

Cuddy gaped, but she regained composure and, most unexpectedly, looked up at him with a fond gaze.

"No, you won't," she said, in a faint voice.

"Jesus, fuck!"

House sighed heavily, clearly exasperated. Of course, now, she was waiting for him to be that needy man he had stupidly confessed that he was! He should have never told her that. What was wrong with him? Damn, but how was he supposed to resist her? He wanted her so badly. It almost hurt just to look at her, then. Get a grip House! he inwardly berated himself. He buried his face in his hands and for a few seconds, he furiously rubbed his forehead with his fingertips as if trying to remove the irrepressible desire he felt for her from inside his head. Resignedly, he finally tilted his face up again and stared at her, looking utterly and touchingly lost.

"Cuddy, you don't want this," he said flashing her a begging smile that silently shouted: I'm-sorry-please-just-go-now.

Cuddy sucked in a sharp breath but didn't move. Stubbornly, almost childishly, she kept standing in front of him, waiting for him to do something, even encouraging him with a shy smile.

It was too much for him to bear. Her body was barely at an arm's length, her head, imperceptibly tilted backward so she could look him in the eyes. It revealed the sensual curve in the crook of her neck. And her lips were pursed in the sexiest pout...

"Dammit Cuddy!" House groaned, throwing his head backward.

He shut his eyes closed, hoping it would make her disappear and spare him that painful struggle he was desperately trying to win against himself. But when he opened his eyes again, Cuddy was still there, staring fondly at him and smiling that adorable smile of hers.

She took a step forward and he knew, right then, that it was completely futile to try and resist any longer.

(…)

Ok, so, do you want me to post what's next? please leave me a review and tell me what you think...

I'm going on vacation today, but fortunately I'll have internet access so, if you want it, I'll post the next chapters on a regular basis... but how am I supposed to know that if you keep silent? ;-)