A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews for chapter one. I'd planned it just as a one shot; my take on how they might get from the last episode of season 6 to the first of season 7, but I had some comments asking for the next part, so I thought, why not?
I decided to continue it from Sam's POV. Just so you know, I'm not a Cas fan, never have been, I think he's self-righteous and untrustworthy and other less polite things too. So if you are a Cas-girl, you might want to look away now, because this story isn't very flattering.
Disclaimer: I'm not making any money from writing this, and nor do I plan to.
Smite is Right: Chapter 2
He could see it in the corner of his eye and if he looked directly at it he'd fall forever and burn forever. If he could just stay in the here and now he'd be ok. He just needed to focus on Dean and Bobby, their arms around him, keeping him on his feet, keeping him here, present.
Just don't look at it.
But thinking about the here and now wasn't so great either. Because the here and now was Castiel who thought he was God. Whether he was or not, and Dean seemed to think not, didn't really matter, because he certainly had the juice to kill them all without moving a muscle.
And Sam had just stabbed the guy in the back, so he was probably first. Maybe his dead body was just the head start Dean and Bobby needed. That'd be an ok way to die.
Or maybe Dean was first for casting aspersions on Cas's godliness. Well, Sam wasn't using Dean's dead body as a head start, not for anything and certainly not after all the stuff he still needed to make up for, even if Dean didn't think that was necessary. Especially because of that.
Everyone, including the soulless version of himself had told Dean not to bring his soul back out of hell, that it would be broken, flayed, beyond saving, but of course Dean hadn't listened, of course he hadn't, because that description was exactly why he had to do it.
Sam's body might've been alive; his mind might've been residing in it, but the most important part of him, the soul, the part that Sam too understood as being what made him Sam; that had still been in hell, being tortured and damaged more and more each day and Dean couldn't let that go.
As far as Dean had been concerned, Sam wasn't back. Sam was still in hell.
Even if there was no chance of fixing him back the way he was, Sam knew that Dean would have wanted to at least make it so that no more damage was inflicted.
Even now, knowing that hell was just at the edge of his perception, trying to pull him back, Sam understood that Dean had been right. He knew because at the edge of his mind he could hear himself screaming from hell, and it was a scream for help, for deliverance, for his brother to come and save him.
And even after however many years, a hundred, a hundred and fifty, he could still hear the certainty in that scream. No matter how long it took, Sam's soul had known Dean would find him and make the pain stop.
Everyone had said he wouldn't recover but Sam knew there was hope because even though the pain was there, the fire and the screaming, part of his flayed – as they insisted on calling it – soul was still intact. He knew this because when he'd been trapped inside his own head, when he'd remembered everything, the only thing he'd been able to think of was getting to Dean and either making sure he was ok or standing with him as he faced an unwinnable fight.
Which brought him back to where he was right now. Would be killer of an angel and/or god.
They walked out, or at least Dean and Bobby walked; Sam staggered out, leaning heavily on them.
Dean had dared Cas to reveal himself as a god as douchey as all the other gods they'd ever met and Sam couldn't believe Cas would live down to that. Cas was arrogant enough to want to prove Dean wrong, and because, god or mega-angel or whatever he was, Cas was obviously still looking for Dean's approval, even if it was in a totally screwed up way.
Sam recognised the signs. He'd gone through the exact same thing when he'd been trying to convince Dean of the wisdom of drinking demon blood and working with Ruby.
Sam could tell Dean and Bobby were both hurt from the way they were holding themselves, but he couldn't take any more of his weight; he was barely holding his head up.
Getting up the stairs was tough. They were narrow and only two of them could stand side by side. Bobby relinquished his hold and followed them, a hand on Sam's back, trying to help Dean support him, but Dean was mostly carrying him and Sam could feel that his brother was rigid with pain and holding his breath to keep from showing it.
Sam's heart pounded with anger for Cas. Had he hurt them? Or had he allowed it to happen? Whatever, Sam felt it was Cas's fault because he had refused to just work with them.
Sam had tried to trust Cas, he really had. When they'd all stood in that room and pledged support for Cas, Sam had done it too. For Dean more than for Cas, because he wanted Dean to know that after everything that had come between them he was in Dean's corner, was still his little brother.
But Cas had been lying all along.
Shuffling along, trying to distract himself from the pain, Sam thought back over the last few years.
Cas had been so cold with him at the start and he remembered his disappointment when he'd finally met an honest to God angel, and been rejected. He guessed he could forgive that, because Cas didn't know him and didn't understand that he was trying to act for the best, even if it hadn't worked out that way. But Sam figured that the distance had given him more perspective on Cas than Dean had.
Sam knew Cas had been the one that let him out of the panic room when he'd been totally strung out from demon blood withdrawal. There wasn't anyone else who could have, or more importantly, would have. He didn't blame Cas for that exactly. Sam was a big boy, and he'd made his own mistakes. He just wished Cas had been up front about it, especially with Dean.
Cas had done a lot of crappy things. Emotionally blackmailing Dean into torturing Alistair for one. Dean had been hanging on by a thread and that had almost broken him, again. Sam didn't think he'd ever forgive Cas for that.
And when Dean had wanted to give in and say yes to Michael, Cas had beaten the crap out of him. Sam knew he and Dean didn't have a blemish free record when it came to pounding on each other in moments of frustration or anger, but for the most part they were fairly evenly matched. Cas could've just put Dean to sleep and brought him home. But, no, he'd gone all self righteous and used his angel strength to hurt Dean when he couldn't defend himself, and when he was already so beaten down by the whole situation.
How come Dean was the only one who didn't get to have a moment of doubt? Dean had accepted that beating, forgiven Cas, and continued thinking of him as a friend, but Sam had filed it away.
And Cas had been the one to bring Sam back from hell, minus a soul, and he'd lied about it, over and over. Cas and Bobby, and he sure wanted to have a word with Bobby about it, had let Dean think Sam was dead for a whole year. He understood why his soulless doppelganger had done it; Robo-Sam just hadn't cared about Dean and his grief. But Cas and Bobby? They knew what Sam meant to Dean. The cruelty of it took his breath away.
Not to mention if they'd just told Dean right away, maybe he'd have found a way to get Sam's soul back before it was this broken, flayed thing they were all so scared of.
And this time, instead of putting him, Bobby and Dean to sleep while he went off to carry out his plan, he'd pulled down Sam's wall. Cas had opened Sam up to the hell his soul had experienced, knowing exactly what it would do to him. Why had he done that? Why had he wanted to hurt Sam like that? He'd said he'd put the wall back up afterwards, but there was no reason to do it in the first place. Just like that beating he'd given Dean, there was no reason for it. It was just cruel.
Yes, he couldn't deny Cas had saved their lives many times. But then he'd also put them in danger so many times, and for no reason. All this year. All the times they'd gone into battle, it had been for nothing. Everything they'd tried to do to stop Crowley, Cas had been working against them.
Those virgin killing dragons. Who had they been working for when they opened Purgatory? Had Cas brought Eve into the world? All these fights, all these losses. Was Cas the reason Rufus was dead, and Samuel and all the Campbells?
Sam tried to think it all through. What had happened because Cas had made it happen? What had happened because Cas had lied? What would've happened anyway? It was impossible to know. The depth of this betrayal was devastating. And he'd never really been close to Cas. How must Dean be feeling right now?
What Sam had figured out over the past few years was that you could trust Cas to save your life, you just couldn't trust him to share your agenda, and if your agenda diverged from his, you could trust him not only to follow his own, but to be wicked sneaky about it.
He guessed he and Cas had something in common. The only difference was, Cas was a much more convincing liar.
It made Sam wonder what Cas had been doing up in heaven all year, fighting this war of his. Had Cas ever tried to win anyone over, persuade them to follow him rather than Raphael, or had he just beaten and tricked and lied his way through? Had he just slaughtered as many enemy angels as he could?
Dean was right to ask Cas what sort of god he was aiming to be, but Sam was pretty sure he wasn't one they'd ever want to follow. The Gospel of Cas? Dean was right, it was unimpressive.
They made it out of the building without the threatened smiting, and Sam wondered what would be Cas's next move. Would he go ahead and hand out all the punishments he'd promised? Or would he actually try to be a god? Try to start fixing things?
Sam and Dean had been to see that movie Gladiator years before and Sam realised that Cas reminded him of Commodus, who'd wanted power so badly that he'd killed anyone that threatened it; had jealously guarded it, even though he hadn't known what to do with it.
And what were they going to do now? Were they going to have to look for a way to kill Cas? They couldn't burn his tree; he didn't have one. They couldn't stab him with evergreen; he wasn't the Anti-Claus.
Was there still something in Cas that could be reasoned with? Would Dean find a way to reach him? Dean could be pretty persuasive. Sam should know. It had taken a long time, but Sam had finally found his way back to his brother's side, where he should have stayed all along.
He was being lowered to the ground and he looked round. They were outside in the shelter of some trees. It was still dark and damp and just about as miserable as you'd expect.
"What's going on?" He managed.
"Bobby's going to boost us a car," Dean's voice was raspy. There was another reason for Sam to hold on and not give into the fire licking away at the edge of his consciousness. He had to make sure Dean took care of whatever injuries he was suffering.
"Boost a car?"
"Yeah, Sammy, I'm not carrying you all the way back to Bobby's place."
"Right, the Impala... Oh, man I'm sorry." Sam's voice was pretty raspy too.
Dean snorted, "Sammy, the Impala's the last thing I'm worried about now."
"You said you had a car to fix," He remembered that being one of the reasons Dean didn't have time to worry about Cas. The flames were burning his flesh, the pain building. He listened for Dean's voice, trying to block out the screams.
"I said I had a brother to fix too. That's more important. You know that."
"Yeah, I know that." Sam leaned into Dean's body, gratefully accepting all the comfort Dean was offering.
"But you're gonna fix her too right?" Sam didn't want to lose the Impala any more than he knew Dean did. That car had saved them so many times. She was the only home they'd ever had. Not that he ever told Dean that.
"Sure. But we're gonna make sure you're ok first."
"It's ok, Sammy, it's gonna be ok." The screams were loud, but Dean's voice, soft and low, was much louder. The pain was strong, but Dean's arm around him, supporting him, that was stronger.
They'd find a way to make all this right, and Sam could hold on, as long as he had Dean.
The end.
Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what you think.