A/N Last chapter of heavy stuff, I think... It's going to be humorous soon.

Warning: Don't read if you're under 18, adult content.

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight.

Chapter 3 – Deeply Flawed

10 years ago - Jasper

Jasper and Emmett sat in the hall outside Carlisle Cullen's office. Emmett had a look of belligerence on his face, though his hands were twisting rather nervously in his lap. Jasper's head was bowed, hair covering most of his face. He was still as a statue.

The trip had been a mistake, and Jasper and Emmett both knew this. When Jasper had suggested cliff diving, it was just another outlet. They saw how rough the water was. The smart thing to do would have been to leave, but Jasper couldn't tear himself away. Every time he tempted fate, he could almost hear their voices, see them once again. Emmett just went along for the ride. Emmett always went along.

Jasper's birth parents had died when he was 10. He'd been fostered by a couple in southern California, but they had gotten pregnant and suddenly foster children weren't necessary. Jasper wasn't bitter. He got it. That didn't mean it felt good.

He'd been lucky enough to get a stable set of foster parents on his second try, and for whatever reason, they had taken to him. He was intelligent and studious, not rebellious. They adopted him when he turned 12.

At 14, Jasper had moved from public middle school to a private high school. His first day, he did his best to remain invisible, knowing he was the only child who didn't belong. All the rest of the boys and girls were born into this. Jasper was a foreigner, his remnant drawl from his formative years, his perpetual tan amid the pasty north-westerners. He'd gotten used to disappearing in public school and had never had any friends. Then Emmett sat right next to him at lunch.

Emmett was too big by half. He looked like a senior when he was 14, and he smiled way too much. He'd seen the shy kid and was reminded of his little brother. He didn't really get why Jasper was shy. Perhaps it was just that Jasper was oblivious to the attention he was receiving from the ladies, but at 14, Emmett knew to align himself with the kid who was already attracting attention. He could reap the benefits of Jasper's seeming disregard for the fairer sex. He stuck to Jasper like white on rice.

Emmett was about as uncomplicated as a friend could be. He didn't care that Jasper didn't talk much. He didn't care that Jasper didn't have all the latest games or the most fashionable clothes. Emmett just liked that Jasper had that mysterious, brooding allure that the chicks dug. It didn't hurt that when Jasper spoke, he had a wicked sense of humor. Jasper was elevated from outsider to best friend of a Cullen. With his change in standing in the hierarchy of high school, he gave up the shy exterior and started to show a more confident, cocky side. He and Emmett were the kings of their school, never bullies, but respected by the guys and drooled after by the girls. It suited both of them for different reasons.

The summer of freshman year, Emmett convinced his parents that he couldn't live without trying skydiving. They reluctantly agreed that he could go, so he took Jasper along. The two boys weren't old enough or big enough to jump solo, so they were strapped to the chests of professionals. It didn't matter, Jasper was terrified.

When they started their freefall out of the plane, Jasper remembered being sure he was going to die. That's when he heard their comforting voices, recaptured their faces. His mother and father, who had died in a car crash, were back with him. They stayed until his fear receded, and Jasper was hooked.

After that, Jasper became the instigator of increasingly chancy endeavors. For 8 years, they chased every thrill, all through college. Emmett liked to walk on the wild side, and more often than not, the boys found themselves asking forgiveness rather than permission. This was one of those times.

The boys were called into Carlisle's office and they sat across the desk from the imposing man and his wife.

"Do you have anything to say for yourselves, young men?" Carlisle asked in a weary tone, he'd been here too many times before.

Emmett shook his head stubbornly, and Jasper cleared his throat to apologize, not that he ever intended to stop chasing the tenuous connection to his parents. He did feel bad about getting Em in trouble yet again though.

"I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen," he said earnestly. Esme shot a look at him.

"You almost died, Emmett could have died," she said, her voice strained, but calm. Jasper looked down, letting his hair fall over his face, "Why do you keep pulling these stunts, Jasper? Emmett?" Esme's voice bore a tinge of fury. Emmett said nothing. Jasper entertained the thought of telling them about his parents, but dismissed it after half a heartbeat. They'd never understand.

Jasper realized later what was going on. Emmett stopped asking him to come by the Cullen estate. It hurt him to realize how poorly Em's parents thought of him, but Emmett didn't seem to care. They still hung out; they just spent less time with Em's brother and sister. Alice was a nightmare, but Jasper would miss seeing Edward on the rare occasion. Still, at least Em's parents hadn't forbidden their friendship outright.

After Edward left for Dartmouth and Alice started her seemingly permanent world traveling, Jasper and Emmett started to drift apart. They both realized individually that college was over and that the real world required them to be more responsible. Emmett tried to find some niche in Cullen Enterprises that would satisfy him, but he jumped from place to place, branch to branch, never interested for more than a few months at a time. Jasper knew that on some level, Esme still blamed him for Emmett's ADD tendencies. Jasper wasn't sure if he agreed.

Jasper came out to Emmett just after graduation.

"Em," Jasper tried to find the words. Emmett was straightforward, maybe a direct approach.

"What's up, bro?" Emmett asked, not really hearing the seriousness in Jasper's tone.

"I'm gay. Please don't freak out."

Emmett spit out the mouthful of beer he'd just been about to swallow. That wasn't what he'd been expecting. He freaked out

"Oh god, Jas… I… I'm not that way, I…" Emmett fumbled around for something to say, turning about seven shades of red and green in the process. Jasper realized that Emmett thought the declaration had a secondary intent and started laughing his ass off.

"I'm gay, Em, I'm not attracted to you," Emmett stopped mid-awkwardness and an affronted look appeared on his face.

"I never thought you were," he said archly after gathering some of his wits, "You always did have shitty taste." That was true, Jasper never seemed to go for the glamorous chicks, and Emmett could never figure out why, now he knew.

"Is that why you never… Did the deed, man?" Emmett asked, discomfited. Jasper shook his head, grinning.

"I never said I was a monk, there were a couple guys… Peter was one." Emmett nodded, not surprised, now that Jasper had mentioned it. Thankfully, Jasper didn't go into as much detail as Emmett usually did about his conquests, instead letting the revelation sink in without pushing. He wasn't sure if Emmett was reacting well or if it just hadn't hit home yet.

"Why tell me, Jas? I mean, I don't have a problem with it, dude, you can bone whoever you like, but… Why tell me?"

"You're my best friend, and I'm sick of lying about all the girls you keep throwing at me." Emmett grinned and Jasper groaned, "This is not an invitation to hook me up with any other gay friends you have." He clarified.

"What if I meet a really awesome dude who's into like… all the extreme sports you like and has really nice abs?" Emmett questioned. Jasper shook his head.

"Not interested, Em, I'm sure I'll be fine in that department. Face it, I'm way more attractive than you, it's practically the only reason we're friends." Emmett nodded solemnly.

"True, but I like to think my charm has rubbed off on you over the years, Whitlock."

"One more thing, Em… Don't tell your family?"

Emmett set the beer down gently. Leaning forward, he grabbed Jasper's shoulder, "They wouldn't care either, Jasper… It's not an issue." Jasper looked away.

"Em, your mom hates me, and I don't want any other marks against me, however minor. Please don't tell anyone?" Emmett nodded reluctantly.

For the next 10 years, Emmett kept Jasper's secret diligently. Every time they would hang out, if Emmett hooked up, he fabricated an equally hot piece of ass to relate to his brother, (it was a wonderful girl when he was talking to his parents or sister). As a result, Jasper quietly maintained his bad boy/player reputation, but it wasn't anything scandalous and nobody in the Cullen household thought twice about the blond's reputation.

Jasper himself had much to prove, so he spent long months setting up a construction company. He courted businesses and private individuals to win contracts he could work on. He never asked for help from his parents or Emmett. He wouldn't have accepted help if it had been offered. He and Emmett got together once or twice a year to chase some of the same thrills, but now it was a way of blowing off steam, not just a childish fantasy that he could find his parents.

Whitlock Construction, Jasper's company, eventually grew respected enough that when it bid on a Cullen Enterprises contract, it won on its own merit. Carlisle Cullen had been following Jasper's work and was impressed by the quality and efficiency of each site Jasper was in charge of. As a result, he strong-armed Emmett into working with the development office on the project Jasper was contracting. It was a huge success, since Emmett found something he enjoyed and Jasper was so good at his job. From there, Jasper and Emmett became a business team. They found projects that Cullen Enterprises could appropriate and turn a profit on and brought them to Carlisle. Emmett handled the business end and Jasper worked on the ground and everyone was happy.

During the third complete project that Jasper and Emmett had arranged, Jasper was in town briefly and crashed at Emmett's house. Emmett's little brother had shown up, and Jasper had been completely flustered by the unexpected encounter.

Edward was exactly Jasper's type, fuck, Edward was the person Jasper's type had been constructed around. He had grown into a stunningly handsome man, complete with hair that looked like he had just been thoroughly fucked, sharp features that were chiseled and planed as if carved in marble. He also looked like he'd just been mugged by an angry cup of coffee. Jasper had to restrain himself from pulling Edward into an embrace, stroking his hair and comforting the obviously distressed younger man.

He'd tried to keep his distance, but in the end, Edward's safety was more important. He remembered the exact moment their contact had escalated. Their bodies had crashed together, and Jasper knew he would kiss Edward, hoped Edward would respond. When Edward initiated a level of intimacy that Jasper had only ever dreamed about, it was the most amazing moment of Jasper's life. Jasper had been with more than his share of men, but Edward's body was so responsive he almost came before he could bury himself in the tight warmth of the younger man. Jasper loved the arch of Edward's back, straining toward him. He tasted the sweat on Edward's skin, felt the silky strands of Edward's unruly hair between his fingers. Jasper could hardly believe that after ten years, he had made such a deep connection with a man he thought hated him. He felt like he was on top of the world, flying. He fell asleep completely sated and euphoric.

The next morning, Jasper felt like a complete piece of shit.

Edward disappeared, and Jasper could only assume it was because he had thrown himself at Jasper not because of mutual attraction, but in a moment of drunken weakness and had freaked when he found out what he'd done. Jasper tried not to take it personally, tried to give Edward some space. After one day, Jasper was depressed, he didn't say anything to Emmett, but he was moody and irritable. After two days, he was fuming. He attended the auction knowing Edward would be there. He didn't know why, but he wanted to have an explanation. He could hardly believe that the most intense physical experience of his life had meant so little to Edward. In a fit of impulse, Jasper bid on Edward, not really sure why his lips were moving. As soon as Edward locked eyes with him, he knew he'd gone too far. He recognized the carefully controlled look of betrayal and hurt, and Jasper wanted nothing more than to take back the last 5 minutes.

He tried to talk to Edward before the younger man left. When the redhead made every effort to avoid a confrontation, it made Jasper feel even lower. He knew that if he could just vocalize his feelings, he could let Edward take control of the situation, let him decide where they stood, what would happen. Edward wouldn't even let him speak; the harshness of his voice was a punch in the gut to Jasper. Jasper hadn't considered how the bid would trap Edward. The slap stunned the blond, and Jasper let him leave.

After a couple days, Jasper decided Edward would have calmed down. He visited Edward's office and almost ruined everything by pouncing on the smaller man when he saw him bent over, ass in the air. Jasper wanted to grab him and take him, show Edward how good it would be, how deep his feelings went. It didn't matter, there was nothing to ruin. If anything, the young businessman was even more irate than before.

He hadn't thought of the workload he was adding to. He had hoped Edward would let him explain. Edward's accusation hit home, Jasper knew he deserved all the punishment for his behavior. He wanted to defend himself. Why hadn't Edward called? Why had he left after the most amazing night of Jasper's life? Edward wouldn't answer the questions, he made it clear that he didn't want to deal with Jasper directly.

Jasper couldn't bring himself to face the inevitable rejection that would follow such questions, so he simply left. Edward's fury chased him out the door, and he felt the final blow deeply when Edward had slammed the door behind him.

There would be no discussion. Edward didn't want to talk; he couldn't even look at Jasper without becoming furious. Jasper felt like he'd lost something precious before it had started. He had no clue why, but Edward Cullen hated him without even knowing him. There was nothing he could do to change that.

10 years ago - Edward

Edward came out to his twin sister Alice a week before she left for Europe… He needn't have bothered, Alice had known for 3 years (startling, since Edward himself had only realized it two years before, when he was 16). He left for college feeling freer than he ever had. He was on a different coast, thousands of miles from Seattle. He had no expectations to uphold as far as personal choice. How naïve he was.

After his first year of college, Edward had realized 2 things. First, he found out that the press is everywhere, and second, dating in college isn't that much easier than dating in high school if you're painfully shy.

Edward came home for the summer, eager to see Emmett and Alice and his parents. He saw his parents.

Emmett was involved in some project for the company, marketing human something-or-other. He didn't come home for all the 3 months that Edward was visiting. Alice was still traveling, she'd moved to Australia and found a man named Riley to occupy her time. Edward was jealous. He loved Aussies.

Edward had not found a major, so he became Esme's project for the summer. She took him through different branches of the company, hoping he would show an interest in some aspect of the business. Edward fell in love with the work of the charitable foundation.

He also grew much closer to his mother, so much so that when he was ready to start his sophomore year of college, he came out to her. The only thing he asked was that she not tell the press and not tell Emmett, who had a knack for letting sensitive information slip to the media. Edward didn't want that sort of burden on his brother's shoulders.

He returned to college with a business major as well as minors in music and accounting, the first would keep him sane, the second would help his skill-set in dealing with donors and their money.

In his first class of the semester, Edward was drawn to a rugged looking blond that sat in the front of the marketing class, blithely unaware of his attention. His name was James, and he was hot.

Edward salivated over the man for a few weeks before they ever had any interaction outside of class. James had noticed Edward's stares, and he was intrigued by the redhead's attention. He'd never considered fucking a man, but something about the boy was captivating. He decided to have some fun and started flirting with Edward.

Edward was astonished that James was gay (little did he know) and quickly fell for the older, more experienced man. James escalated the relationship as quickly as he could, trying to pop Edward into bed before things got too gay. He fucked Edward on their third "date." Edward was completely floored when, after fucking him, James had laughed at him and thanked him for "crossing fucking a dude of my bucket list."

After that, Edward was freaked out and had no idea what to think. He apparently lacked any sense of who was gay and who wasn't, so he hid away, hoping that his next experience would be less horrible. He couldn't believe he'd given away his virginity to an experiment.

After a semester, James was a fading wound, and Edward ventured into a relationship with Felix, who was gay.

For a few months they dated without any pressure. When they finally consummated their relationship, Edward was thrilled. He felt a real connection to the brooding man who held him gently. They continued to see each other until summer.

Edward found an internship on the east coast, sad that he would not see his family, especially since Emmett and Alice were home, but he wanted to spend more time with Felix. They spent the summer in lust, neither committing fully to the relationship. Edward never questioned why Felix was holding back.

In the beginning of junior year, Felix came to Edward, distraught. He had school bills that he couldn't pay and would have to leave Dartmouth. He wasn't sure when he would be back. Edward sprang into action. He dipped into his massive trust fund and loaned Felix the money. This happened again the next semester. Edward was very worried that his boyfriend would leave. At the end of junior year, Felix came to Edward, asking for more money. Edward was confused, since it obviously wasn't for school needs.

Felix said that if Edward loved him, he would give Felix the money and trust that it was necessary. Edward gave Felix the money.

In the beginning of senior year, Edward found out that Felix had gambling debts. He couldn't go to his parents because they would stop paying for his school, so he had found Edward (knowing full well who the other boy was) and attached himself to the redhead in order to gain access to his money.

Edward felt used and foolish. He told Felix if he ever revealed their relationship to the press for money, he would see to it that the other man's family found out about his gambling and manipulating Edward. He cut his ties to Felix and tried to move on, but he was deeply hurt.

Edward had always been sensitive, and knowing that the only two relationships he had ever pursued had been lies crushed him. He never told anyone in his family, too embarrassed by his weakness and gullibility to seek support.

After Edward graduated, he took over the charitable branch of the company, throwing himself into his work. He tried to find time and privacy to date, but since he was back in Seattle, he had the convenient excuse of the press to keep him from getting attached. He stayed single for 6 years, out only to his mother, father, and sister. He felt like he was in a stalemate with his own life. He couldn't open up to anyone, because he'd been burned each time he tried.

With Jasper it was worse. Jasper had been his high school dream, the one person he'd idolized before he realized what he was doing. On top of everything, the physical experience of being with Jasper was downright transcendent. He would cherish that memory; he would keep Jasper as the beautiful ecstasy of that one night, not letting the illusion be torn down by the reality of Jasper's callousness and disregard.

Present Day (3 weeks after the gala) – Edward/Emmett

Edward pushed away from his desk, disgusted with his weak and petty behavior. He wanted to blow off steam, he wanted to talk with Alice, see Emmett. Maybe tip a cow over or something, that shit was supposed to be fun, right?

Edward called Emmett.

"Hey, little bro, what's up? Polishing your tool belt yet?" Emmett asked, he'd congratulated Jasper on the masterful prank against Edward, but for some reason, Jasper didn't share his mirth. He thought that was fucked up, since Jasper had been the one to bid on Edward.

"Fuck you, Em," Edward retorted, "I'd like to see you out, hauling shit around for 3 weeks." Emmett snorted. He had spent quite a bit of time doing manual labor over summers, and enjoyed the work. It was part of what drew him to the development job he held, sometimes he would sneak down to construction sites and help out for a day or two before dad found out and corralled him back to the office.

"I'd ruin my girlish figure, Ed, and Rosie really likes it."

Edward was now intrigued. By his estimation, Emmett had been with Rosalie Hale for 8 days, a record.

"So, Em, am I going to meet this fabulous beauty you keep talking about? Should I bring my own air pump?" It was his turn to tease. Emmett snorted over the phone.

"Only if you need to find a date, I think Sally is somewhere up in my attic, tell you what, bring the pump, and you can borrow Sally for the evening, we'll make it a double date." Edward laughed.

"That's ok, Em, Sally has too little penis for —" Edward realized what he was saying and suddenly he stopped talking. There was silence on the other end of the phone.

"Ed? … erm… did you just say …" Emmett tried to find a delicate way of clarifying what he'd heard. Suddenly the line went dead. Emmett looked at his phone for a moment, pieces falling into place, "Well, shit… no wonder they were acting all fucked up at the gala…" he murmured to himself. Then he dialed Edward back, time to find out why his little brother had been lying to him for 28 years.

Edward heard the phone ring, read who was on the other end of the call, and let it go to voicemail. He'd talk with Emmett later, hopefully he could convince his meathead brother to keep quiet around the press.

Emmett frowned at his phone, hanging up on Edward's voicemail for the fifth time in a row. He decided to call mom and find out what the hell was going on. On the third ring, Esme picked up the phone.

"Mom, Edward's gay," Emmett blurted, there was silence for a beat, then Esme laughed softly over the phone.

"So he finally told you? I'm glad, it's been too long." Emmett's eyes went wide, then he glared at the phone.

"What the fuck do you mean, 'it's been too long'? How fucking long have you known?" He growled. Esme grimaced.

"Language, dear. Didn't Edward tell you? We've known since he was in college, I really thought he would explain this himself."

"I don't think he was intending to explain anything, Ma," Emmett said, "He let it slip while we were joking around on the phone, and now he won't take my calls. Why didn't he tell us? Why keep Alice and me out of the loop? I mean, he told you and dad, right?" Esme drew a deep breath.

"Alice knows, he just thought… I'm sorry, Emmett, but Edward didn't want to burden you with this because he has no intention of coming out to the press. He hasn't dated in 6 years, so it hasn't come up. He didn't want you to have to police yourself when you talk about him."

"Shit, Ma. How kind of you to put your trust in me. When have I ever told the press anything sensitive?" Emmett demanded, "I'll have you know that I am an excellent secret keeper. I never even told anyone that Jasper is—" He realized what he was saying and shut up.

"Never told anyone Jasper is what, Emmett?" Esme's voice was dangerous, Emmett scowled at himself in the mirror across the room from him.

"Nothing, Ma. Not my secret to tell." Emmett was a little put out that Edward didn't trust him, but it did put him in a perfect position to mess with both Jasper and Edward. The question was, how should he go about it.

"Tell Edward that if he doesn't fucking call me within a half hour, I'm calling a press conference." Emmett hung up without waiting to be scolded for his language again. Esme was relatively certain that the threat was empty, but she dutifully called Edward and relayed Emmett's message.

Edward called Emmett three minutes later, and Emmett grinned as he answered the phone.

"What's up, little bro? Pack any fudge recently?" He said jovially. Edward growled.

"Emmett, if you ever threaten me with the press, I'll tell mom about Panama." He was deadly serious and Emmett knew it. He gulped.

"I wasn't going to call a press conference, Ed, I just wanted to talk, and I was a little peeved that you told everyone else on the face of the planet." Edward sighed.

"I just didn't want anyone to suffer because I chose to keep this quiet, Em. I didn't mean to hurt you. Besides, it's not like you know any gay guys, Jasper's practically the only person you hang out with." Emmett grinned broadly, realizing what the problem was.

"Jasper, yeah… he's something else, so tell me, Ed. What was with all the drama at the gala? Did you and Jasper fuck or something?" He joked, then he heard Edward's breath catch and knew he'd stumbled on the truth.

"Edward, did Jasper fuck you?" Emmett asked quietly, dreading the answer that would turn him against his best friend.

"Em, d-don't ask." Edward said.

"Goddamn, Ed, I figured there was some unresolved sexual tension, but fuck! I mean, you practically quarantined yourself every time he was around in high school. Once I found out you were gay, I figured you were carrying a torch for him. What happened?"

"I… we… it was when I came over with the papers. I had a really shitty day, and I got a little drunk." Edward drew a deep breath, "I got completely smashed, and one thing led to another. I haven't really talked to him since."

"He left you hanging?" Emmett was furious, he would kick Jasper's ass later. Right now, Ed needed his support, "That fucking ass. I figured he'd—" Emmett cut himself off, remembering his promise not to out Jasper. He started working things out in his head.

"I knew what it was, Em, I'm a big boy. I just… maybe I should have expected it… Jasper is a player." Edward trailed off muttering, but Emmett thought he hear something about "fucking bucket lists" and rubbed his forehead with a palm.

Emmett realized there was more than a little crossing of wires involved. He suspected Edward's impression of Jasper might be a little skewed due to his… elaborations over the years.

"Listen, Ed, have you tried to talk with Jasper? Have you heard his side?" Emmett heard silence from Edward and took that for a no.

"I think maybe you should come over here and talk with him, at least find out what he's thinking about all this, man. You might be surprised, Jasper is a good guy."

"Jasper is a good guy?" Edward snarled, unsurprised that Emmett had sided with Jasper, "I've met his type, Em, they'll fuck anything that moves just to say they did it once. Don't bother calling back." Edward slammed down the phone, leaving Emmett completely bewildered on the other end.

"The fuck?" Emmett sat at the desk for a long time, looking at his phone and thinking about Ed. Something didn't add up, his brother hadn't had a date in 6 years, according to Ma, and Ed was a real catch. He remembered one of Edward's friends making an offhand comment that she seemed to get way too embarrassed about, Angela something or other from college. He thought he would recognize her if he saw her face.

Emmett logged into Edward's facebook, looking at pictures of his friends. He found an Angela Cheney and looked up her profile. Jackpot. He fist-pumped the air when he saw her cell phone number listed and quickly dialed it.

"This is Angela Cheney, may I ask who is calling?" A gentle voice answered.

"Hey Angela, I'm sure you don't remember me. This is Emmett Cullen, Edward's brother."

"Is something wrong with Edward?" Angela's voice was immediately concerned.

"I was hoping you could tell me. I need to know everything you know about Edward's first boyfriend. I remember you mentioning a bad breakup, and I think I need to know more."

Angela paused for a moment, "Edward told you he was gay?" she guessed.

"Yeah, and it's deeper than that. He's acting really weird about a friend of mine, I think he's carrying some baggage from way back, and since he hasn't dated in 6 years, I was hoping you might know more than me."

Angela's jaw dropped when she found out that Edward hadn't dated since Felix. She was one of the few friends who were there for both relationships, such as they were. She knew that James and Felix had done a number on him, but had no idea how bad it was.

"Well, James was a complete asshole, and Felix was a slimy little tick, who do you want to know about first?"

Emmett smiled coldly, finally some answers.

"Start from the beginning."