Thank you, thank you, thank you. I truly appreciate all the wonderful reviews! You guys keep me going! Per your request, I present to you-the brother!

All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. The idea of Peter as the all knowing Yoda like vampire is the brainchild of I Dream of Eddy from her fanfiction Colliding Meteors. I do not make one red cent off of this work of fanfiction. I am trying to figure out how to make a mold to mass market the Jasper Pop though.

This story is AU and extremely OOC, meaning I've played around with the characters, events, and timeline.

There is a lot of swearing in this chapter-oh, okay the story in general. I apologize for my potty mouth in advance.

This story is intended for mature readers 18+ only.

Emmett's POV

"Excuse me for disturbing you at this hour sir, but I'm looking for my sister, Isabella."

No sooner than the words were out of his mouth did Jasper and I have both him and the bitch he was with, held by their throats and shoved up against the entry way. Pfft! His sister? Yeah, right, Bella has one brother and that's me fucker.

I heard Bella's feet pattering towards us and saw Eleazar grab her and put her behind him. "What the fuck are you guys doing?" she asked us. Before we knew it, some invisible force field had Jasper and me immobile and plastered up against the opposite wall. What the hell? What kind of power do these super vamps have?

"Are you guys okay?" I heard Bella ask the intruders as she crawled out on her hands and knees from in between Eleazar's legs. God she's sneaky. They nodded yes while the male pulled the female behind him. Bella turned towards us. "Who the fuck do you think you are threatening my brother and sister?"

What the fuck? Bella is doing this to us. What the hell is her problem putting her trust in these two fuckers? Edward must have fucked her up more than I thought. I'm gonna rip the pussy apart—slowly.

"You need to tread carefully, my mate." I heard Jasper say to Bella in his deadly Major's voice. Mate? "Mate?" I said out loud.

"Mate?" I heard both Carlisle and mystery vamp say at the same time. I saw Peter out of the corner of my eye pointing his iPhone towards us.

"Shut up Jasper! Just because we're mated doesn't mean that you can tell me what to do...or should I start calling you Edward?" Bella continued while ignoring Jasper's growl, "Now, if you can be good boys, I'll release you. Can you guys behave?"

We both nodded and Bella released us. Jasper pulled Bella into his arms and started checking her for injuries and putting his scent all over her. Not that she didn't reek of the fucker already. "Jasper, I'm fine. Let me go." As soon as he released her, Bella ran into the two vampires' arms. The male vampire lifted Bella's chin gently and said to her, "What the hell were you thinking? We were worried to death. You were gone all night. No phone call. No text message. You're never this irresponsible, Bella."

"I'm sorry," she said with genuine remorse, "I might have had a couple of drinks last night at the bachelorette party."

Uh-huh, a couple of drinks, sure—more like twenty. I heard the others cough and snicker something like "bullshit" and they were all met with Bella's deadly glare. Fuck, I thought Rosie was scary, but Bella?

"Bella, you know the rules. If you're drunk or are in any sort of trouble you call and we'll come get you. Now, I want to know why that didn't happen? Exactly how many drinks did you have? Oh, and don't bother lying to me—I'll get the truth out of you one way or another."

Bella grimaced and mumbled, "I think I had like twenty jello shots at Climax."

"What else?" Wanna-be brother vamp prompted.

"Um...and about 12 shots of Patron at the The Purple Shamrock's Happy Hour before that." She owned up.

Fuck me! 20 jello shots and 12 shots of Patron. Even I know that that's a fuckton of alcohol to consume in one night. Little girl is in big trouble now. Brother Bear will be sitting her down for a talking to and if I have my way she's never leaving my sight again. I was just about to say something when the imitation brother lost his cool with Bella.

"That's fucking outrageous, Bella! You could have died of alcohol poisoning! I thought I taught you better than that. Bella, you and I are all that are left of Charlie's bloodline. He died for us—let's show him a little more respect, okay? Besides, if I lost you, I don't know what I'd do."

Whoa! Did he say that they were all that's left of Charlie's bloodline and that he died for them. What kind of fuckery went down when we abandoned Bella? I'm really gonna fuck up Assward now. I look around the room and I notice that everyone else was wearing equally stunned expressions as mine.

"I know, I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I think I just got caught up in the moment and just lost control. I'm so sorry." Bella started bawling into her other brother's arms. Damn! I hate to share her, but he seems authentic. Fuck!

"I suppose that would explain the YouTube video then?"

"What YouTube video?" Bella asked.

The brother vamp pulled out his iPhone and fiddled with it a bit then showed her a video. Bella's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "Really sis, what the hell made you give a blow job to a frozen penis in public?"

"I didn't, I mean I did, but I didn't think..." Bella blabbered in desperation.

"Exactly, you weren't fucking thinking! This shit's gone viral now! It's the featured viral video on Yahoo for fuck's sake! Who the hell is this 'YodaLovesTatas' dude anyway?"

'YodaLovesTatas'? There's only one guy that would come up with a username like that and he was currently standing in our living room with his iPhone pointed right at us. Everyone in my family all turned towards Peter. He tried to make a run for it, but Garrett had him pinned to the wall with one hand. "Explain," the Major ordered as he walked up to Peter, "I thought you said you didn't film her."

"Sir," Peter said submissively, "I never said I didn't film her, I said I didn't take any pictures of her."

"Wait a minute! You're 'YodaLovesTatas'? Asked the male vamp.

Peter nodded in affirmation and the vamp nailed into him with a punch to the nose that landed him right on his ass. Mystery vamp then continued his questioning, "Who the fuck do you think you are filming my sister and posting it up on YouTube for all the world to see? What the fuck is this 'YodaLovesTatas'? You never put Yoda and Tatas together in one line. That's sacrilege motherfucker! Yoda's like a legend among legends, he's like a fucking Jedi god. That's like putting Santa and Pussy together in the same line."

Everyone then turned and looked at me. I tried to pretend like nothing was wrong and looked nonchalantly out of the window. "Spill it!" I heard my baby sister say. Damn! She's more like Rosie than I thought. When did she turn into a scary bitch?

"My YouTube username might be 'SantaLicksPussy'." I mumbled.

Might be or is, Emmett?"

"Is." I whispered meekly.

Bella looked shocked. She held out her right hand and the female vamp walked promptly up to her and placed her wrist in Bella's hand. Bella took female vamp's wrist and gave it a swift flick so that her palm slapped me. "Ouch!" I said out loud. Damn, that hurt!

When the hell did the conversation go from Bella's oral sex show to my YouTube username? Shouldn't we be disciplining her for being a lush instead of talking about my personal You Tube account?

"Bella," the female vamp said while holding up the torn remnants of a dress, "what the hell happened to my favorite dress?"

My little sister opened and then closed her mouth and looked pointedly at the dress. "Oh...that, um...ask Jasper." She said pointing at a bewildered Jasper.

"What the fuck did you do to my favorite dress? Are you such an animal that you had to rip it off of her?"

Jasper looked sheepishly at the female vamp and offered, "I'll buy you a new one."

"I suppose, then, that this belongs to you?" She questioned while holding up a man's belt.

"Uh...yeah, thanks, I was looking for that." Jasper replied.

"Enough!" I heard Esme say as she walked into the middle of the chaos. "I want everyone to sit down now! We're all going to talk about this like adults. Oh, and Bella—put some clothes on." She tossed a pair of pajama pants to Bella which she promptly put on. What the fuck! She was running around in Jasper's shirt and no panties this whole time. Oh great, I just got a look at her snatch—not something a brother wants to see. I really need to have a chat with her.

Everyone sat immediately down and then I heard my mother say, "Bella would you like to introduce us to your family?"

"Um...sure, this is my half brother Riley Swan Biers and you already met his wife and mate Victoria at the ah...um...baseball game."

We were all stunned. I was pretty sure that it was Victoria, but she kind of looked and smelled different. She still had red hair, but the color was toned down a lot. She's dressed nicely too. Not like the repulsive looking nomad she was when she was with James. It was almost like she went through one of Alice's makeovers, but it actually worked this time. She's kind of hot! Not Rosie hot, but hot in her own way.

Riley Biers. Riley Biers. I've heard that name before. "Wait a second? You're Riley Biers—the two time All American quarterback of the University of Washington Huskies Football Team?"

"Uh, yeah, that would be me." Riley said.

"Dude, you're a legend! I've seen all of your games. I remember that game against Oregon State when you scored five touchdowns. Five touchdowns man!"

"Can we please get back to the task at hand? So, how did you..." Carlisle started when he was interrupted by loud, frantic banging on the door. Carlisle immediately went to answer the door flanked by most of the male vamps.

"Irina, Laurent...we thought you were busy touring Europe." Carlisle greeted, "Isn't that why you're unable to attend Edward and Amanda's wedding tomorrow?"

Irina and Laurent both bolted into the living room without greeting anyone and did a quick scan of the room. They let out a sigh of relief when they spotted Bella. "There you are," Irina said, "we've been tracking you all night. When you didn't come home we thought you'd been abducted. Laurent and I ran all the way to Rhode Island before we finally tracked you here."

"Why were you in Rhode Island? I didn't go further south than Boston." Bella asked

"Well, we thought we detected your scent going in that direction." Laurent replied matter of factly.

Suddenly, Bella, Riley, and Victoria were cracking up. "You guys can't track for shit!" Bella said while clutching her stomach. "No kidding, I'm surprised that you didn't end up in Florida at the rate you were going." Vicky said.

"I know, but at least we tried." Irina said, as she pulled Bella in for a hug and ran her fingers through her hair. "Don't you ever do that to us again. We were all so worried. You smell like Jasper."

"Call us next time, baby girl. You know that we'll come get you, right?" Laurent added.

That's it! I've had it. Why the fuck are Irina and Laurent in the mix now? Eleazar's been trying to get them to come home for more than a week at a time for the last five years and they suddenly show up looking for my baby sis? Now, they're all cozy with her? I want to know what the fuck's going on now and by the angry look on Eleazar's face, so did he.

"Somebody better tell me what's going on right the fuck now!" Jasper roared, echoing my sentiments.

He then pulled Bella away from Irina and sat her on his lap and started nuzzling her neck. Now, he's scenting her again. Enough already with the fucking scenting. We get it, she's yours—fucker still has some explaining to do though. Looking at Riley and Laurent's expressions, I could tell that Jasper was going to be getting the third degree from the two of them and me. That's just us three. Carlisle and Eleazar both had murderous glares in their eyes. Yep, Jasper's a dead man. I mean, come on, we all heard Bella when she said that she fucked Jasper on the hood of his Corvette. I wonder if Rosie and I could take the Vette for a spin?

Riley's POV

Who the hell does this fucker think he is? That's my baby sis that he's trying to lay a claim on. No fucking way! Get your grubby little paws off of her. Little girl isn't ready for this mating shit and I'm not ready to let her go. No way in hell is fucker going to take her away from me and Vicky. We were all doing so well in avoiding the Cullens too—one night and it all flies out the window. Between the four of us, Irina, Laurent, Vicky, and I were managing to keep her happy, healthy, safe, and sane.

"Can we all sit down and discuss this?" I heard the lead vamp say. We all sat down again. "Let's finish introducing ourselves first. My name is Carlisle Cullen and this is my wife Esme and my sons Emmett and Jasper. This is Eleazar Denali, whose daughter Irina you already know, and his son in law Garrett. The man who you know as 'YodaLovesTatas' is Peter Whitlock. You just missed Edward, he left early to set up for his wedding and the rest of the wives are all heading down to Boston to prepare for the wedding as well. Now, if you could start with how you know our daughter Bella, we'd appreciate it."

Fuck! I just wanted to take sis and get out of here and now he's giving us the Spanish Inquisition? Can I trust him? Well, he seems honest enough. With my gift, I can tell whenever someone's lying and this guy was definitely oozing truth and honesty. Bella always said that she only blamed Edward and Alice for the shitstorm they caused and Irina and Laurent invariably backed her up. I looked to my mate and her beautiful smile as she encouraged me to tell them. Well, here it goes.

"Five summers ago, I had just graduated from University of Washington with a master's degree in clinical psychology. I was on top of the world. Not only did I just get my M.S., I was slated to start work at a counseling center in Seattle the next week. On top of that, I had just gotten in contact with my biological father, Charlie Swan. You see, my mother had gotten pregnant when she and Charlie were still in high school. Her parents had sent her away to relatives in Colorado to have me. She was supposed to put me up for adoption, but she refused and instead decided to stay in Colorado to make her own way. When I was five, my mother married a man named Tony Biers. He adopted me and raised me as one of his own. I was raised in a warm family environment with parents who loved and nurtured me and raised me to be the best person that I could be. Throughout the years, my mother never let me forget that Charlie Swan was my father. When my mom and Tony died in a skiing accident during my senior year of college, I decided to work up the courage to get in touch with Charlie Swan. I knew he was still in Forks and soon I found out that he was the Chief of Police there. It took me two years to work up the guts to call him. When I finally got in touch with him he was open and accepting and excited to meet me. We talked weekly and made plans to meet. I found out that I had a half sister, named Isabella Marie and I was looking forward to meeting her too. That was around the time I met Victoria."

"Honey, let me take over from here." I heard my beautiful wife say.

"As you're well aware, when I met you for the first time," she said as she looked pointedly at the Cullens, "I was still with James." The Cullens all nodded their affirmation.

"You need to know that when I was first turned about fifty years ago, I was changed by my sire to service the needs of James. James, as you know, was cruel and abusive. I was constantly beaten and used for his own sexual gratification the entire time I was with him. It got to the point where I thought the abuse was normal in a relationship. I was so naïve that I didn't know any better." At that point, mama vamp and Irina were sobbing into their mates shoulders and Bella was bawling into Jasper's chest. Is he fucking licking her tears off? Aw...gross man, cut that shit out!

"When I found out that James was killed, I was devastated and hell bent on revenge. I got in touch with Laurent who desperately tried to get me to come to Alaska, but I was so far gone that I had only one person's blood on my mind—Bella's." I heard growls coming from around the room at that point and I placed my mate behind me fearing for her safety.

"Come on guys, hear her out!" I heard my sister yell.

Victoria then continued her story, "I hatched a plan to create a newborn army in Seattle. I was well aware of how to go about making one, but first I needed to find someone strong and intelligent to control and lead the army. I had been watching Riley for a few days by then and I knew that he had all the characteristics needed to become a powerful leader—so when he came stumbling out of a bar alone one night, I changed him."

"How did you know what it takes to create a newborn army, Victoria?" I heard Jasper ask my wife.

"My sire was Maria, Major Whitlock, I'm well aware of who you and Captain Whitlock are." There were gasps all around the room as that tidbit of knowledge came to surface.

"I took Riley to an abandoned cabin that I found in Canada so he could transform. I was getting worried because he didn't scream or even whimper while he was changing. He simply looked like he was sleeping. When he woke up, he was calm for a newborn with absolutely no bloodlust at all. When I brought him a human to feed on, he refused. He said that he'd rather die than murder anyone. So, I did the next best thing and brought him a buck. I told him that it would be like hunting only without guns. He seemed to agree with me and finally latched on to feed. Weeks passed and we got to talking. I found myself opening up to Riley and telling him my story. He was so easy talk to and he, eventually, got me to understand that my relationship with James was abusive and that I was much better off without him. For the first time ever, I was in love and I realized that Riley was my mate. By then, I had dropped my plans on forming a newborn army completely and I was actually hoping to approach the Cullens and seeing if I could befriend them. Like Riley, I had started to feed on animals."

"Why didn't you contact us dear? We would have taken both you and Riley in." Esme said.

"I'm getting to that. Riley was so unlike any newborn I had ever known. He had completely retained every single human memory he had. He told me how Charlie Swan was his father and Bella his half sister and how saddened he was that he would never get to meet him. I told him then that with our new golden eyes we could probably meet both of them and that Bella was someone he could definitely get to know and love. I then told him what I knew of Bella from our brief encounter and how comfortable she seemed to be with our kind. We set out for Forks immediately. We ran through the forest and that's when we heard him. It was Edward breaking up with Bella. His words were so cruel. It reminded me of James in a way. He told her that he was tired of pretending to be human and so was the rest of his family. He continued on saying that she was not good for him and that her human mind was no more than a sieve. He told her not to worry about him because he could easily find other distractions. Then, he had the nerve to ask her to not do anything reckless. The kicker was when he just left her there, in the middle of the forest, standing. Bella soon started looking for him, but as you know our kind are fast and it would be impossible for a human to track him. When Bella broke down and started crying, Riley and I picked her up and brought her to your abandoned house."

Bella's POV

The snarls of outrage reverberating through the Cullen home, when Vicky finished telling everyone about the fucked up break up, were deafening. Several of the men, high tailed it out of the house to cull some trees in the surrounding forest. Jasper pulled me in even closer to him and kept checking me for injuries again and purring. Jesus Christ! I'm not so sure how much of this mating thing I can handle. I mean, I'm used to being around it considering I've been living with two mated couples for the last five years, but experiencing it first hand was a whole new ballgame. When we kissed last night, I knew right away that he was my mate. Not only did I feel those sparks that Irina and Vicky described to me time and time again, I also felt a strange magnetic pull attaching me to him. I thought they were just kidding about the physical dynamics of mating, but this shit's just fucked up. Why Jasper though? I never felt that pull to him when we were in Forks, but then again I never saw the dude. When I saw him at the club, though I was instantly attracted to him. Why I performed the blow job on the Cock Pop for him I'll never know, but I have a feeling that it all has to do with this mating thing.

After a few minutes, everyone came back in a little calmer. Carlisle walked straight up to me and looked me in the eyes and said, "Bella, we had no idea that Edward broke up with you in such a callous manner. He told us that you completely understood his reasoning and that you, actually, realized that you didn't want anything to do with vampires any longer. Bella, I'm sorry. We should have said goodbye and we should have checked up on you. Like idiots, we believed Edward so easily. Princess, we love you and we always have. You need to know that your mom and I searched and searched for you, but it was almost as if you dropped off of the face of the Earth." Why that lying motherfucking shit bucket, I can't believe the crap he spewed to his family!

"Yeah, Sissy, Rosie and I went looking for you too, but you were already gone. We missed you so much and we wanted to bring you back home." Emmett added.

Well, that's a surprise. Rosalie, the mother of all bitches, missed me? I'll have to find out what that's all about later. Who knows? Maybe we'll get along more now, now that I can give her a run for her money in the bitch department.

"Bella, would you tell us what happened after Riley and Victoria found you?" Esme asked.

I hate this part. I really do. It's bittersweet and it's tragic. I might as well get it out of the way now since I don't plan on repeating it anytime soon. I've been done with brooding over the shit life throws at you for years now, so bringing it all up didn't exactly float my boat. Still, they deserve answers too seeing as Jizzward lied to them too.

"I woke up in your living room after a few hours, and, naturally, I freaked out because I was in Vicky's arms and the last time I saw her she wanted to eat me. It turned out that she held me the entire time I was passed out. She told me that she didn't mean any harm and that she had heard what Edward said to me in the forest. She told me her history then introduced me to Riley who, in turn, told me his story. He backed up his claim that he's my biological half-brother by producing a copy of his birth certificate. On it, clear as day, Charles Swan of Forks, Washington was listed as his father. We talked for a while and they took me home to a furious Charlie. He had the entire town searching for me because, apparently, Edward had forged a note saying that I had gone for a walk in the woods with him."

Oh boy, maybe I shouldn't have told them that. More growls were coming from the vampires and at this rate, I'd be surprised if Eddie Boy lasted longer than today. I bet he's going to get a few limbs removed. Maybe they can pull his fingers off one by one. Hmm...I wonder if they'd let me watch.

I continued my story, "The next day, Riley and Victoria stopped by to introduce themselves to Charlie. I had never seen my dad so happy in his life. He was so overjoyed at finally meeting his son that he forgot about being angry at me. I thought that I would be more devastated over losing Edward than I was, but I ended up being more angry about the words he said and the way he handled everything. Having Riley and Vicky with me and hearing about the misfortunes they'd overcome forced me to realize that there were more important things in life than being dumped by a high school crush. The three of us talked everyday and I eventually came to terms with the fact that I missed you guys more than Edward and Alice. Riley pointed out that the way they acted with me was extremely controlling and manipulative and quite similar to the abusive way James treated Vicky."

Now for the tragic part. It was so shitty that I wasn't sure that I could repeat it. I looked to Riley and he flashed me an encouraging smile showing his support. I really do love my brother. "Go on baby girl, you're doing fine," he said, "I'm right here if you need me."

God, he really is the best big brother in the world.

"Things were going great. Vicky and Riley moved in with us—they even ate with me and Charlie just for show. We all became one big, happy family. On Sundays, Riley and Charlie would go fishing and Vicky and I would just hang out doing girl things. About two months after you guys left, I got the phone call from hell. Renee and Phil had been killed in a car accident. They're car was hit head on by a drunk driver and they died instantly. I was shattered. My mom was gone and I never got to say goodbye. I just wanted to see her, to hug her one last time. Riley pulled from his training as a clinical psychologist and from his own experience of losing his parents suddenly and he helped me to grieve. Unfortunately we were hit with even more tragedy three weeks later."

I needed to take a break. I was panting and had tears in my eyes from all the pain that the memories brought up. "Do you want me to take over Bella?" Riley asked.

"No, I need to do this." I answered. I felt a sense of calm wash over me at that moment and a boost of confidence. "Thanks Jasper." I said as I squeezed his hand.

"Charlie had surprised us all by taking us all to Seattle to watch the Huskies play football. It was such a rare thing because he was always a homebody and hated to go out. When we got home, Billy Black and his son Jacob were in the driveway. They looked angry. Billy asked us what we were doing with Riley and Victoria. Charlie explained that Riley was the long lost son he was telling him about. They, then, yanked me aside and told me how reckless I was being for bringing "bloodsuckers" into my home. They said that they thought I was over my "stupid phase" since the Cullens all left. I, of course, told them that we were in no danger and that Riley and Vicky were family. Riley, then, stepped in and pulled me behind him. Of course, Charlie had no idea what Billy and Jacob's problems were and at that point, neither did we. Suddenly, Jacob started shaking and just as Charlie moved to step in front of the three of us, Jacob phased into a wolf and attacked. Charlie took the brunt of Jacob's force and died almost instantly. His last words were, "I'm so happy that I got to spend the last few months with my children. Riley, Victoria take care of Bella. Don't brood over me, you guys are still young and I want you to live your lives and make something of yourselves. You three made me the luckiest and proudest dad in the world. I love you guys." Billy Black was remorseful and devastated at the loss of his best friend. His own son had accidentally committed an atrocious murder. Jacob and Billy both tried to apologize and get me to move to La Push, but how could I after what they did to my dad. After, Charlie's funeral, which the entire town turned out for, we took care of his estate and moved to New England for a fresh start. We visit his grave once a year on his birthday."

After I finished telling my story, I jumped into Riley's arms because I just needed my big brother then.

He rocked me until I was all cried out and when I looked to my side, Emmett was right there next to him rubbing my back. Every single vampire looked like they would cry if they could, even YodaLovesTatas.

Just then, my stomach started growling and Esme jumped up and ran to the kitchen to cook for me. Vicky went to help her seeing as she was probably more used to maneuvering around the kitchen. Enough crying. I hadn't cried like that in years. I felt strangely refreshed, though, as if I just released whatever frustrations were lingering in my soul. "Um...I'm gonna go upstairs to shower and change." I said to the room in general.

"Okay, honey, I laid out a fresh set of clothes and some towels in your bathroom." Esme called out from the kitchen. As I was making my way upstairs, I heard Esme yell, "Jasper, keep your ass downstairs and let Bella have some privacy. Give the poor girl a fucking break for God's sake!"

I had to laugh because I agreed. Any other time, I would have been game for a quick shower fuck, but right now I just needed some time to reflect alone.

Esme's POV

Oh, my poor baby. I was heartbroken when she finished telling her story. I kept thinking that fate has a funny way of dealing his cards. What can I say about Riley and Vicky? Those two are nothing short of wonderful. The way they were able to keep Bella going and raise her into the strong, independent woman she is, is nothing short of a miracle. Vicky had such a tragic beginning to this life. Fifty years with that bastard James, and she was able to turn all her hate into love. Riley is such a special young man. He shouldered the responsibility of raising his little sister and repairing his mate's damaged soul, and he did so by showing them all the love he could muster together. All I know is that I am determined to have the three of them move in with us. If they don't move in with us then I'm moving in with them. No longer will they be without a mother.

I took the opportunity, while Bella was showering, to get to know Victoria. I was amazed at how deftly she handled herself in the kitchen. "You handle yourself so well in the kitchen." I said.

"Oh, I've had years of practice. My parents owned a diner in Fort Lee, New Jersey. I was always helping out with the cooking." She then took the frying pan and flipped an omelette in the air without using a spatula. It landed perfectly back in the pan without falling apart.

"How in all heaven did you do that?" I asked her.

"Oh, it's simple really. It's all in the wrist. You have to keep your shoulder completely relaxed or the whole thing will flop to the floor. Here, you try." Vicky said as she handed me the frying pan. I gave it a whirl and then with a 'splat' the omelette tumbled to the floor. Well, that didn't go so well.

"I'm so sorry, I ruined your perfect omelette." I said remorsefully.

"Don't worry about it. They're easy enough to make. Here, you can practice more with the pancakes—they're a little easier to flip."

She then told me about how she, Bella, and Irina spend their girl time together taking fun classes like jewelry making and belly dancing. She added that she just graduated from college for the first time last weekend with Bella. She majored in teaching and she was excited to start applying for her first real job. I could tell that she, Bella, and Irina were close and I hoped that they would be able to bring Rose into the fold. Rose has been so lonely since she had her falling out with Alice and she could really use some female companionship.

"So, how did Irina and Laurent come to live with you?" I asked, knowing full well that the others were listening.

"Well, after Charlie died, we weren't quite sure what to do. Although, I'd been a vampire for many years, I was a virtual prisoner under James' control so I truly had no idea how to make it in the real world. So, I called Laurent and explained what had happened, and he and Irina came to Forks right away. Charlie had recently changed his will and left everything to Bella and Riley. We took his life insurance money, 401K, policeman's pension fund, and the proceeds from the sale of his house and pooled it together. Irina got in touch with Jenks and we were able to forge new identities and destroy our old ones. Time was of the essence because Bella still needed to finish high school and we were determined to make that happen in a new town, away from those wretched wolves. We decided to move as far away as possible from Forks. We ended up in Boston because I'd always wanted to visit the city as a child and with so many hospitals, it would give Riley a better opportunity to find a job. With Charlie's money, we were able to set ourselves up so that we could rent a nice apartment and pay for Bella and my college education. Riley works at Boston Children's Hospital as a clinical adolescent and child psychologist so that he can support us."

She took a deep breath and then continued, "Anyway, Irina and Laurent ended up tagging along with us to Boston. They told us about how you were now living with them and about how everyone, except for Alice and Edward, missed Bella terribly. Irina formed an immediate attachment to Bella and refused to leave her so we all ended up living together."

I was absolutely surprised about how Irina took to Bella. Out of all the Denali girls, she was the unfriendliest and never really went out of her way to get to know us. When she and Laurent left Denali during our stay, we thought it was because she wasn't happy about the fact that we were all living with them. Now, I come to find out that they were keeping an eye on Bella all along. Maybe Irina has a bit of Rose in her—lonely on the inside, but refusing to show it on the outside. In any case, I can't wait to tell Carmen about finding Irina. She's been so worried about her refusal to come home these past five years and felt like a failure as a mother.

Ah, there's my Bella, she looks so much more refreshed than earlier. She walks up to me with a huge smile on her face and gives me a bear hug that could rival Emmett's. I feel so complete with my daughter back in my arms and my two new children. She sits down and Vicky serves her an omelette.

"Yummy Vicky, how come whenever you make an omelette it comes out nice and fluffy and when I make one it comes out all cardboardy?" She says between bites.

"I just have that magic touch sis, you know that." Vicky responds.

"So, you have a wedding to go to today." Irina said to Bella.

"I know, I'm still hungover though, but I'm in the wedding so I have to go. Hopefully, I'll feel better by then."

Just then, Garrett pipes in, "Dad, I don't see why we have to go to Preacherward and the nun's wedding? How come Laurent and Irina don't have to go?"

"Yes, I agree, I think they should go." Eleazar says to a bewildered Laurent and Irina.

"Really, Dad, I don't want to go. You know how I've always hated Malice and Prudeward and from what I hear from Tanya and Katie, the girl's a judgmental, venomous bitch." Well, that was certainly an accurate description.

"After what you've put your mother and I through for the last five years, I believe you owe it to us to put up with this wedding like the rest of us." Eleazar told Irina.

"Oh, Daddy, please don't make us go. Besides, Riley, Vicky, Laurent, and I have plans to go hunting tonight."

"You can go for a quick hunt before the wedding."

"But, Dad..."

"My answer is final. You and Laurent will go to the Virgin couple's wedding and pretend that you're enjoying it like the rest of us!"

"Fine!" Huffed a glum Irina who was currently pouting and stomping her feet out of frustration.

"I'm gonna kick the fucking crap out of you!" Growled an angry Laurent who proceeded to chase a victorious looking Garrett out of the house.

Speaking of weddings, it appears we all have one to go to. I should probably go save the girls who were all covering my hasty departure to go see my daughter. Just then, I heard my cell phone ring. Ugh, it's Alice. I put my fingers to my lips and motioned for everyone to keep quiet.

"Hello." I answered in a lusty voice.

"Aren't you and Carlisle done yet? We do have a wedding today, you know. Edward's been in Boston helping to set things up since 6 a.m. We're about to make our way there." Alice's grating voice came through from the other end.

"Almost there, almost there..." I panted into the phone, "...oh, Carlisle, right there, more, more...what was it that you said, Alice, I'm kind of in the middle of something?" Whenever I didn't want to speak with Alice or Edward, I always pretended to be in the throes of passion.

"Ugh! You guys are so disgusting, it's not like you never have sex. When I was still married, I didn't have sex as much as you two do. We were on a precise once a week schedule. You have to train Carlisle like I did Jasper, there's a time and a place for marital relations. Even Jasper had more self control than Carlisle does."

I looked over at Jasper and he currently had Bella pinned against the pantry door in a lip lock and his hand was straying dangerously close to her breasts. Some self control he has. Humph! Train my husband indeed! Time to get the annoying Pixie off the line.

"Alice, do we have to do this now...mmm...yes, baby... I'll meet you in Boston in two hours. Tell Carmen to drive my car to the hotel and oh, oh, oh, Caaaaarlisle!" With that, I snapped the phone shut and looked up to the shocked faces of my family.

"What? It's the best way to get Prunella off the phone. Really, Jasper, I don't know what you ever saw in her!" I admonished. "Bella, what time is your friend's wedding at?"

"Um, church ceremony at 5 p.m. followed by a reception at 7 p.m."

"What are your plans for after? I'd like to pick you up and make sure you get home okay." I said.

"I'll be fine. I'm staying in the bridal suite because the bride and groom are leaving for Hawaii right after the reception." Bella said to a delighted Jasper. We still had yet to discuss this apparent "mate" thing that Jasper and Bella both mentioned. I keep forgetting that Bella is almost 23 years old and a grown woman. It was such a difficult concept for me to grasp and I was determined not to smother her.

"Oh, well, that's nice. Would you just do me a favor and give me a call so I know you've settled in for the night?" That's not too much to ask for, is it?

"No, problem. I usually do that with Riley and Vicky anyway. I just kind of forgot last night."

We all exchanged numbers and made plans to meet up the day after the weddings. Carlisle took the opportunity to extract a promise out of Bella that she won't drink too much at her friend's wedding. Emmett loaned Riley his Hummer so they could drive back home since they all ran in order to track Bella to our house. Time to go to the fucked up Virgin wedding, I suppose.

I'd love to hear what you think of Bella's brother. Let me know, I promise to write back.