Letters To My Ex-Jerk

Chapter 19- Arguments

I pushed Damon away from me as if he had the plague. I felt blood flood my cheeks and the expression on Stefan's face turned from confused to hurt. Emotions were registering clearly across his face. I knew what he was feeling. Betrayal. Because he'd caught me, his supposedly faithful girlfriend, and his brother red handed making out.

Stefan looked at us for a few seconds before he stormed away angrily. Sarah rushed up to see what was going on. I pushed myself out of the pool and started after Stefan, calling his name. He didn't reply. He made his way up the stairs to our room, slamming the door behind him.

I followed him, dripping wet into the room, grabbing a towel from on the rack by the door before I followed him into the bedroom. He was sitting on the bed, soaking it with his swimming trunks but that didn't really matter, and glaring at the wall, his arms folded across his chest.

"Stefan," I said, gently, wrapping the towel around myself before sitting down next to him on the bed. I touched his arm and he flinched away, looking away from me like a fourteen year old who was angry at their friend.

"I'm sorry, Stefan." I tried again, my tone soft.

"I don't care, Bonnie," Stefan retorted, his angry green eyes meeting mine for a second.

"Yes, you do. If you didn't, you wouldn't be up in this room right now," I pointed out, matter-of-factly.

Stefan sighed, "So, sue me. I care. I was wrong to care about you,"

"I'm sorry, Stefan," I sighed, about to tell him the truth. "I love him. I've loved him since I met him and I'm never going to stop loving him, no matter how much of a jerk he was. I tried to love you, Stefan, but with Damon there, I can't give my heart to anyone else. I can't… I just can't," I muttered, burying my head in my hands.

"I know that," Stefan replied. "I've known you were in love with my brother since I saw you guys interact at the movies that day,"

"Then why didn't you break up with me?" I practically wailed, my heart breaking at the kindness of the younger Salvatore brother. It made my heartache to see how sweet he was and not be able to give him what he wanted; my love and my heart. I couldn't give them to him because they belonged to his brother and they always would.

"Because I really like you Bonnie. I wanted to see if in time you would change your mind about Damon. I've never measured up to him though," Stefan said, scornfully.

"You measure up, Stefan. I swear to god, you do. If I was any other girl, I'd be head over heels for you," I replied to him. "Forgive me?" I looked up at him hopefully. His green eyes misted over for a few seconds.

"I don't know," He replied, just as there was a knock on the door of the room.

"I'll answer it," I got up, fighting the tears that threatened to burst out of my eyes because of his words. I needed him to forgive me. I cared about him deeply. I just didn't love him.

At the door was my best friend. She'd changed into a white wrap dress and had a calm expression on her face, her long dark hair hanging down her back in waves. "Caramel Crème, what happened?" She whispered.

"He said he doesn't know if he's going to forgive me or not," I replied, in a quiet voice. I felt a few tears make their way out of my eye and I pushed them away.

"I'll talk to him. I'll make him change his mind," She insisted, in a determined voice. She gave me a warm one armed hug and I grabbed a light blue dress and some underwear and stuff so that I could change in the bathroom downstairs or something and hurried away.

"I'll meet you in the lobby in half an hour so that we can go shopping for the Vegas party. We need clothes," Sarah sang in a happy voice.

I sighed, not able to feel happy because of Stefan being upset with me. I nodded though and she passed by me into the bedroom. I hurried out of the room, feeling more tears come to my eyes as I thought of Stefan's hurt expression and how much I'd hurt him. I batted the tears away but gave up in the end when they became heart-wrenching sobs.

"Bonnie," I felt an arm slip around me and I saw Damon's sky blue orbs gazing at me, worried.

"Go away," I pushed him away, crying still. My voice was hysteric.

Damon ignored me and steered me into his and Andie's room, closing the door behind us. He sat me down on the bed and pulled me into his arms, letting me cry my heart out. It was at times like this that I loved Damon the most.

"He doesn't want to forgive me," I sobbed, "I care about him so much but he's mad at me because of what we did…"

Damon rubbed my shoulder, "It's going to be okay," He whispered, his lips close to my ears.

I buried my head in his chest and kept on crying until there were no more tears left to cry. He then grabbed a big, soft white towel from on the towel rack and handed it to me. He put my dress on the bed and also my underwear and pushed me towards the bathroom.

"Take a long warm bath. It'll make you feel better," He assured me and I was in no state to disagree. I locked the door behind me and got into the tub. Turning the shower on, I opted for a warm shower instead of a bath because I never had the patience for baths. I squirted shampoo into my hair and closed my eyes, feeling a little bit soothed by the warm running water.

Maybe it was better that Stefan and I had broken up and he now knew the truth. I feared that he would tell Damon before I could. I would tell Damon as soon as we got back to New York, I'd promised that much to myself and to Sarah. I didn't want Stefan to be the one to tell Damon how I felt. I knew deep in my heart though that Stefan was trustworthy and he wouldn't give my secret away. It was one of the best things about him. He was sweet and honest. Yet, I'd betrayed him and I felt like the most conniving, unfaithful person on earth.

I finished my shower, feeling very much more at peace with myself than I had when I'd arrived at Damon's room. Damon was being very nice to me. He could be a saint when he wanted to. I remembered that from when we were dating. He could be as sweet as freaking Prince Charming.

I wrapped the big towel around myself, toweling my hair dry for a few minutes before I tied the towel so that it was secure and then hurried out into the room. My clothes were on the bed and Damon was nowhere to be seen. I got changed quickly and afterwards used Damon's hairbrush to ease the tangles out of my hair. I slipped my sandals on and hopped onto the bed, wondering where Damon had gone.

I heard the sound of chattering in the hallway and stood by the door, feeling like I was eavesdropping but I couldn't help myself. It was like some force was holding me to the door, forcing me to listen. I closed my eyes and concentrated.

"So you're not going to go shopping with all of us now, Andie?" Damon's voice was clear and sounded frustrated.

"I'm going to hang out with Elijah for a while. I've missed him," Andie replied, in a voice that sounded like a girl who was in love. With Elijah though, not with Damon.

"But we're supposed to be on this holiday together," Damon replied, aggravated and I could tell that he had his glaring face on.

"I'm sorry, Damon. I've already promised Elijah. I'll go to dinner with you guys when I get back," She promised.

Damon sighed, "Fine, see you then," I heard some shuffling and backed away from the door, almost toppling over as Damon flung it open, looking surprised to see me standing there.

"What are you doing?" He looked suspicious.

"Nothing," I put on my most innocent voice, trying not to give away that I'd heard their little argument.

"Hmmm. So are you feeling better?" He asked, eyeing me with worry.

"Yes. I am actually. What time is it? I was supposed to meet Sarah at the lobby in 30 minutes and I don't actually know when that was supposed to be," I scratched my forehead and Damon laughed.

"Sarah was just going down now. I told her we'd be down in 5. I'm just going to get dressed," Damon pointed to his billabongs which he still hadn't changed out of and I nodded.

"I'll go get my cell phone and things," I replied.

"Meet you in 5?"

"Sure," I hurried for the door and tried the door to my and Stefan's room. It was open so I went in, not really wanting Stefan to be there because I felt like I wasn't ready for more pain, but feeling that I needed to talk to him or at least find out what Sarah had said to him. I needn't have worried though, the room was Stefan-free. I grabbed my stuff quickly and applied some natural make-up before checking my cell phone. I had a missed call from my Dad.

I started out of the room, dialing his number. Damon was in front of his door, dressed in gray jeans and a green shirt. "Hey Dad," I cried into the phone, once he picked up. Damon linked his arm in mine and started leading me down the stairs towards the lobby.

I let him lead me, feeling like a carry on suitcase for some reason. "Hi Baby. I called you earlier. I assume you were busy," Dad replied.

"No, I didn't answer on purpose because I knew it was you," I joked, before laughing.

Dad joined in the laughing too. "So when am I going to see you, Bon Bon? How about today for dinner? You can bring your boyfriend and Damon and Andie. Of course Sarah too," He replied.

"That sounds good. Oh and its ex-boyfriend," I said, in a whisper as we entered the lobby. Stefan and Sarah were deep in conversation on a couch by the side. I unhooked my hand from Damon's as they looked up at us. Sarah waved and Stefan just held my gaze deeply.

"I'm sorry, Bon." Dad apologized.

I sighed. "It's okay. Look, we're going shopping now so I'll see you for dinner," I said.

"It's a date," Dad joked, before hanging up.

I turned to Damon, "Are you up for dinner at Father Bennett's house?" I asked.

Damon grinned. "Count me in," He replied.

I watched as Stefan and Sarah got up and started walking over to us. Sarah was bouncing but Stefan just trudged behind her, stopping a few steps away from us.

"Ready to go?" Sarah asked.

I nodded. "Are we taking the famous yellow bus?"

"The only way to get around California," She joked, causing a small smile to form across my lips. Stefan's eyes met mine for a few seconds before he smiled a little too.

Damon laughed then and we started out of the lobby and into the bright sunshine, ready for a day of shopping.

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"So spill, Fudge Muffin, what did you tell Stefan," I uttered, a couple of hours later when we were in the ladies room. We'd picked out the hottest outfits ever for the dance and so had Stefan and Damon, though Stefan seemed depressed. No guesses why.

Sarah looked away, her brown eyes avoiding mine. She smacked her lips together and looked at the ground. "He said he'd forgive you eventually," She replied.

"Why can't he just forgive me now?" I put my hands on my hips, pushing a strand of hair out of my eyes.

"I don't know. You guys hurt him. What were you thinking, Bonnie? Kissing Damon when you were dating Stefan? I know you love him and all but shouldn't you have broken up with Stefan or given him a heads up?" Sarah asked me, a little incredulously.

"It wasn't planned, Sarah. It's not as if I knew it was going to happen. Why are you defending him anyway? You're supposed to be my best friend," I reminded her.

Sarah sighed, pulling me into a hug. "I don't want to get into a fight so I'm ending this conversation now. Stefan said he'd forgive you soon. Nuff said," She murmured.

"Fine," I groaned, "I guess I'll have to be patient. Oh by the way, Dad's inviting us all over for dinner,"

"Coolio! I'm in," Sarah exclaimed.

"Could you like tell Stefan because I don't really…. You know…" I trailed off uneasily.

"Sure. I will," She looked at her watch. "I think we need to get leaving if you're going to go back to the Inn to change and then head to your Dad's,"

I nodded. "You're right. We also need to pick up Andie," My voice dropped to a hush, "She and Damon were fighting cause she's always hanging out with that Elijah guy-"

"Is he that sexy guy with the brown hair and gray eyes?" Sarah waggled her eyebrows, cutting me off.

"Yes-"

"YUM," She laughed, and I rolled my eyes.

"Would you please let me finish, Ara? Anyway, he said she doesn't hang out with us so she said she's going to come to dinner," I explained.

"How did you find this out?" Sarah raised her eyebrow, looking like a detective or something.

I looked at her sheepishly. "I was eavesdropping… but whatever,"

Sarah laughed, then linked her arm through mine. "So we're heading back to the Seaside Inn then your dad's, then the party," She exclaimed.

"What a long day," I muttered.

"Tell me about it," She replied and we started back out into the mall so we could find Stefan and Damon and head back to the inn to get ready for the dinner and pick Andie up. I just hoped that Stefan and Damon hadn't killed one another.

A/N: Hey guys! How did you like that? I know I'm being pretty hard on Stefonnie but hey that had to happen if Bamon ever is going to happen. The next chapter is going to have even more Bamon so keep your eyes peeled!

Thanks for all who reviewed. Please do leave another!

Lillian CullenSalvatore xx

Disclaimer: I don't own TVD.