I am floored, absolutely taken by surprise at the response this story has gotten. I am so flattered by each and every one of your review, faves, and alerts. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Kinky monkey sex with your choice of vamp for everyone!
Many of you have been asking me who I think Stripper Major looks like. For your pleasure, I am including a link-just get rid of the parentheses and spaces around the dots. http:/3 (.) bp (.) blogspot (.) com/_yPOtCNFCEmo/RpWyoW1ukFI/AAAAAAAAAOk/1m2X649HQyU/s320/Nathan+Kamp (.) jpg Here's one more for good measure http:/nathankamp (.) com/flash/portfolio/index (.) htm
This story is AU/OOC. Everything has been toyed with...especially the characters.
This chapter contains references to swearing, references to sex, actual male bonding, possessed female vampires, and vampires trying to acclimate themselves in a very human store.
All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.
This story is intended for mature readers 18+ only.
Jasper's POV
I quickly drained my third coyote and then buried it. I'd have my beautiful girl back in my arms in just a few minutes. My girl. I liked the thought of that. So beautiful. So sexy. So erotic. And mine, all mine. The mating tonight had drained me completely. I wanted to mark my Bella so badly—show the world that she's mine, but it was too soon for that—so, I settled for staring into her captivating brown eyes instead. I'd never cum so hard in my existence. I can't get her out of my head, it's almost as if...who the hell is calling me at three thirty a.m.? Ah...it's my mate, I bet she can't sleep without me. I better pick up the call so she doesn't worry. "Miss me already, babe? I was just about to head back."
"Jasperrrrrrrr!" My mate's terrified scream sent a chill through my already frozen body.
"Bella! What happened? Where's Tanya?"
"Bella, what do we do? What do we do?" I could hear Tanya's panicked voice in the background. Not good. When the lone vampire in the Penthouse is freaking out there can't be anything good happening.
"Bella! I'm coming baby. Hang on!"
I ran like a jaguar through the forest and sped through the city streets. Fuck exposure! I didn't care. Fortunately, at this time of night, the streets were dead. The only people that caught sight of me were the handful of drunks and homeless people roaming the streets and I was going too fast for them to identify who or what I was. As I approached the apartment I was assaulted with the sheer fear and panic coming from inside. I bolted into the penthouse eleven minutes after receiving my mate's distressed call. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could have prepared me for what I saw.
Tanya was sobbing. Her naked form clinging to my mate with her blood red eyes wide with panic. Bella was trying to soothe her. Both of them sent out boatloads of confusion, agitation, and terror—and from Tanya: absolute guilt. I quickly assessed that the girls were fine and peered at where Tanya's victim lay.
"Tanya, you need to tell me what happened." No reaction. Time to bring out a bit of the Major because this was of utmost urgency. I sent her a small dose of fear. "Tanya Denali—you will tell me what happened now!" I roared.
Tanya clung even tighter onto Bella and then spoke. "We had sex and it was everything I ever dreamed of and, then, when I reached my peak, I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to mark him—I had to mark him. I was in so much of a frenzy that I lost control and drained him. I screamed for Bella after that."
"Look at me Tanya. It is imperative that you calm down this instant." I sent some peaceful feelings over to both girls and saw them visibly relax. "Rex is still alive, but barely. You need to either change him now or put him out of his misery. Either way, Rex Fantasia will cease to exist today." I didn't mean to put it so harshly, but Tanya needed to see just how critical the situation was.
"He's still alive?" Bella asked, so I nodded yes to her. "Oh thank God. I thought he was dead. You've got to change him Tanya."
"I can't. I just can't. I'm too afraid." She cried. "I want to change him, but his blood is so intoxicating that I'll end up finishing him off."
Now what? We can't wait for Carlisle. I haven't changed anyone since I changed Charlotte and that was decades ago. Maybe Vicky can change him? She changed Riley five years ago. I could hear his heartbeat slowing down. We didn't have time to wait for anyone. Tanya would be without a mate for eternity if he wasn't changed. It was all up to me.
"Jasper, I know you can do it. You're strong, babe. I have faith in you. I love you." That did it. The words coming from my mate sent my confidence soaring. I gave her a passionate kiss and turned towards my task. Tonight, Rex Fantasia would become a Whitlock.
I descended upon Rex quickly. I was careful not to bite over Tanya's mating mark—knowing that she would want it to remain. I pushed as much venom as I could into his jugular then did the same to the inside of his wrists and behind his knees, as well as, his ankles. That's when the screaming started.
"Bella, call your brother and have him rush over here with his Suburban. Tell him it's a life or death situation. I'm going to try and keep Rex quiet before he wakes up the entire building."
She nodded and dialed her brother. "Bella, are you okay? It's four a.m., what the hell are you doing up?" I heard Riley's voice on the other line.
"Ry—we've had an emergency. It's a life or death situation. Can you bring the Suburban over to Carlisle and Esme's penthouse?"
"What kind of emergency? Life or death situation? Bella? Is that someone screaming? Bella! I'm coming right now baby girl—sit tight!"
Ten minutes later, Riley and Victoria came barreling into the apartment. They took one look at Rex's naked, changing form and said, "Holy shit!"
"What the fuck happened?" Victoria asked.
"To make a long story short—Tanya slipped and I had to change him." I said.
"Well, we have to get him out of here before he wakes up the whole building. Not to mention that it'll be daylight in an hour." Victoria said. You could tell that she spent many years with Maria, her military side was coming out—she was all business.
"Okay, here's what we're going to do. Vicky, you pull the Suburban up. Riley, you and I are going to carefully carry Rex out of here. We have to be really gentle because his heartbeat's still erratic. Bella, you have to get Tanya dressed and bring her down to the car. Everyone clear?"
They all nodded and we got to our tasks immediately. Five minutes later we were on the road headed up to New Hampshire with the newest member of our family. When we pulled into Carlisle and Esme's driveway in Amherst, Tanya was still latched on to Bella as if her life depended on it. We strode into the living room with Rex where the Cullens, Denalis, and Peter and Char were all watching t.v. Their eyes turned to us and at the sight of Rex changing, everyone's jaws dropped.
"What happened?" Carlisle asked, rushing over to us.
I gave him a quick overview of tonight's events and heard Tanya whimpering into Bella's shoulder.
"What's the matter with Tanya?" Asked a concerned Katie.
"She's in shock. She's been attached to my mate since it happened." I said. "Can we move Rex into a room or do Riley and I have to carry him all night?"
"Okay, let's move him into Tanya's room. It's one of the few with a bed." Esme said.
"Guys. We need to come up with a plan to stage his death." Victoria said. Like I said, she's all military when necessary.
"Yeah, you do realize that Rex Fantasia is a very public figure? He's supposed to perform at Climax tonight." Bella said.
How the hell does she know that? Does my mate make it a habit to hit male strip joints in Boston?
"How the hell do you know that?" Asked Emmett echoing my sentiments.
"I know from when I was planning Megan's bachelorette party. He performs on Thursday and Saturday nights. Why? Did you think I'm some sort of male stripper junkie?" She asked with a smirk.
"No, no...why would I think that? I was just wondering." Emmett said relieved. Phew! Glad Emmett asked her and not me. I thought she was some sort of stripper groupie. I look at my mate and she was still clad in my shirt. She looks hot. Damn! I want her. Not the time, not the time—get that thought out of your head now! Shit! Now, I've got a raging hard on.
"Bella, sweetie, you look exhausted. Why don't you go to your room and try to get some sleep? I've got Tanya." Esme said. "Tanya, honey, why don't you sit with me?" Yeah Tanya go sit with Esme so I can put Bella to bed.
"No...no... need Bella...an't let go." What? Come on Tanya, let her go. I just want to play with my mate for a little while and then you can have her back. Please, I'm begging you.
"Tanya, carina, Bella needs to get a little rest. I'm sure she'll sit with you when she wakes up."
"No!" Tanya screamed and clung on to Bella as if her life depended on it. Then she picked Bella up and ran up to her room. Okay, looks like Tanya isn't giving my mate up and I ain't getting any.
"Maybe Bella is who Tanya needs to be with right now. Besides, we've got more pressing matters to attend to. I'm gonna go upstairs and send her some lethargy to knock her out. That way they can both get some rest." I said.
"Jasper," Carlisle turned to me, "I'm proud of you. You did well my son."
I acknowledged him and ran upstairs to take care of business.
Eleazar's POV
What a mess! I can't believe what's happened in less than twelve hours. Tanya slipped and nearly drained her mate and then she has a complete breakdown and won't talk to anyone except for the only remaining human in our family. Honestly speaking, I was amazed at my niece's strength. I didn't know of any humans who had the temerity enough to comfort a vampire that just nearly murdered another human.
One thing was for certain, we weren't going to be leaving New England anytime in the near future. With Rex being a newborn, we'd have to stay in the area because moving him across the country to Alaska would be impossible. In a way, I was glad that Rex was no longer human, but I wish his change had happened in a less tragic manner.
The good thing about the change happening was that it provided Carmen and I with an excellent excuse for staying in the area. After my talk with Irina the other day, we had learned that Bella was indeed a shield. Not only that, she had full control of her mental shield and about 80% of her physical shield. Apparently, Bella was able to shield herself or restrain everyone else, but for some reason she couldn't do both at the same time. Upon learning that information, Carmen and I both decided to stay close to our niece until she had full control of both shields and until she was changed.
We learned from Irina that the family had no plans to change Bella until she finished her master's degree in two years. That was completely unacceptable in my book. I told Irina that she should have been turned as soon as she learned of the existence of vampires and every minute that she remained human puts her and us in danger from the Volturi and other power hungry vampires. I also urged her to return to Denali with Bella, Vicky, Riley, and Laurent. Irina scoffed at that notion saying that they had no intentions of leaving Boston and were doing a good job keeping her safe and besides, if anyone were to blame for keeping her human, it was the Cullens. I had to agree with her there. This is the very first time that I have been disappointed in Carlisle. He, of all people, should be well aware of the dangers our world poses. For him to keep his own daughter human was beyond irresponsible.
I snuck upstairs to check on Tanya and Bella. What I saw amazed me. Tanya was, for all intensive purposes, "sleeping" for the first time in nearly a thousand years. She was curled up next to Bella who was deep in slumber and cradling Tanya within her arms. Just then, Carmen came to my side and took a peek inside. "Incredible." She said. "They both look so peaceful."
"Bella is the only one that Tanya trusts at this point. Our daughter is appalled at her actions and doesn't even have faith in herself." Carmen said as she tiptoed in and quietly covered both girls with a quilt. "Come, mi amor, let them rest. We have important decisions to make downstairs."
I followed my wife down to the dining table where plans were being made to stage Rex Fantasia's death. It was decided that Katie and Garrett would immediately make their way to Rex's Boston apartment and gather any items that they deemed important. Jasper would take care of obtaining new papers and identification for him, while Carlisle, Emmett, Riley, and I would stage his death. Fortunately, with Boston being such a large city, there were many unclaimed bodies of homeless people within the city morgue. Emmett just had to hack into their computer system and find a man that fit Rex's profile. From there, I would go in claiming to look for my long, lost brother and take the body back with me. Finally, we would stage a car accident using Rex's vehicle.
Irina and Laurent walked into the house at that moment. Apparently, they had been hunting when Vicky and Riley got the call from Bella and only now found out about all that happened. To say they were shocked was an understatement. Irina immediately ran upstairs to check on Bella and Tanya. She returned after she was assured they were both okay and then asked what she could do to help.
"Esme, I need to use your realtor to find a house for our family. With Rex being a newborn, we can't return to Alaska. We also can't stay here with Bella still being human. We'd like to purchase a house in this area that's secluded enough to keep Rex in control while still being within running distance to your house." Carmen said. The women decided that they would all work on our relocation and with our plans made it was time to set things into motion.
Three days later...
Peter's POV
Staging Rex's death went off without a hitch. The Denali's were able to purchase a home in a secluded area of Amherst and they were just waiting for the last of the paperwork to go through before moving in. Bella had finally returned to Boston this morning along with Riley, Laurent, Carlisle, Esme, Rose, and Emmett. With the exception of Bella and Emmett, everyone else had work. Tanya had finally released her hold—literally—on Bella this morning. This was only after she convinced Tanya that she would regret it if she weren't here when Rex woke up. Tanya let her go home then, but only after Bella told her that she's just a phone call away if need be.
Bella. She was a firecracker and a sweetheart rolled into one. After she verbally ripped my balls off on Thursday and Friday, she still made an effort to at least be civil to me. When she compared me to Edward, I was hurt. The kicker was that she was fucking correct in her assessment. I was an overbearing, protective brute. Since we escaped Maria, I kept Char by my side most of the time and she never had the chance to make any female friends because we lived in seclusion in Texas. After Jasper met Alice we only saw him whenever she went on one of her extended shopping trips. Jasper needed a release and I was happy to share Char with him so he could have one. I couldn't imagine 35 years of not even penetrating your wife, but then again who the hell would want to stick his dick into that flat board. Does her pussy even have an opening? I shudder to even think about fucking Alice.
When Jasper finally found his mate in Bella, I was happy. The Whitlocks were going to be a family again. Bella was vibrant and fun to talk to and the most amazing thing was that she clicked with my mate. Char instantly grew attached to Bella and I couldn't be happier for her. Then, on Thursday night, I had to open my big mouth and fuck it all up. After Bella blew up at me then publicly broke up with her mate, Jasper nearly ripped my head off. He said that if I didn't get with the program and realize that my views were archaic and outdated, he would make sure that I never got within five hundred yards of his mate again. He also informed me that he would rip me apart and bury my parts in all seven continents if he couldn't get Bella back. With that, Char started bawling thinking that she was going to lose the first friend she ever had and I felt like the biggest turd in the neighborhood.
After Bella chewed me out a second time on Friday, I decided to take everyone's advice and talk to Riley. Char and I went to his office together and it turns out that both of us were suffering from the effects of something called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He wanted to speak to each of us separately once a week and together once a week. He assured us that he took his oath seriously and that everything would remain confidential. He also said that we were to keep what we discussed in our individual counseling sessions to ourselves even if it goes against our mating instincts. I agreed because, well, he's the only vampire head shrinker that I knew of and I was hell bent in keeping my mate happy and winning back Bella's friendship.
So here we are now waiting for Stripper Rex to wake up. Jasper, Vicky, Char, and I were surrounding Rex's bed as we had the most experience dealing with newborns from our time in Maria's army. Tanya and Eleazar were standing in the corner of the room while everyone else was doing their own thing in various parts of the house.
Suddenly, the tell tale signs of Rex's awakening had begun. His heart was racing at a mile a minute shedding the last vestiges of his human life. Ninety seconds later, his heart came to a screeching halt and Rex's blood red eyes popped open and his torso involuntarily sprang up into an upright position. With his newborn eyes, Rex took in his surroundings and honed in on Char and Vicky who were both standing in his direct line of sight. The women inhaled his scent deeply, it was as if a never before seen instinct was taking over their bodies. Their arousal instantly permeated the room just as Jasper and Eleazar simultaneously gasped, "Oh Shit!"
"He's definitely an incubus." Eleazar whispered.
Fuck! From what I heard, incubi are genetically programmed to attract women. All he had to do was be present in a room and women would be ripping their panties off waiting to do his bidding. Hmm...I wonder if he'd affect Kenny and Randy in the same way? I should bring them here and test out that theory. Not now, Whitlock, keep your fucking head in the game. I look at the three women and they're all licking their lips getting ready to pounce on Rex the Sex. My mate is fondling her own tits while Vicky is slowly unbuttoning her shirt. Tanya was buck naked, crouched in front of her mate growling at Char and Vicky.
"Bro, on the count of three grab your mate and I'll get Vicky. We need to get the fuck out of this room now." Jasper said. "One...two...three!" We grabbed the girls and high tailed it out of the house with Eleazar hot on our heels. We yelled for Carmen, Irina, Katie, and Garrett and told them to drop whatever they were doing and retreat from the house immediately. Tanya was about to go bat shit crazy, in all her naked glory, at anyone she deemed a threat to her incubus mate.
"What the hell is going on? Garrett asked.
"Not now!" Eleazar said with authority. "The first matter of business is for us to get into our cars and leave. Someone needs to call Riley and have him meet us at his apartment in one hour. No dawdling! We need to move now!"
I don't know about anyone else, but I wasn't about to doubt Eleazar. His knowledge on vampire behavior and talents was unsurpassed. We all piled into two vehicles and headed for Bella's apartment. On the way there, Jasper and I had to hold down Char and Vicky who were climbing all over us and trying their damndest to have their way with us.
"Can't you use your gift to restrain them?" I asked Jasper.
"What the fuck do you think I've been trying to do? It ain't working on them." Jasper replied.
By the time we pulled up to the apartment, Char and Vicky were both buck naked. Riley pulled up at the same time we did. He took one look at his wife and yelled, "What the fuck is going on?"
Eleazar came bounding out of his Mercedes and said, "I'll explain everything later, but first you and Peter need to go take care of your mates' needs! Go now!"
"I don't understand." Riley said. "What's wrong with my wife?"
"He means you gotta go fuck your mates senseless to bring them back. Just get the job done, you can ask questions later! Both of you get the hell out of here now!" Jasper yelled.
Okay, so Jasper and Eleazar are both ordering me and Riley to go fuck our mates and we're standing here like idiots twiddling our thumbs. Our mates are both purring and grinding into us while ripping our clothes to shreds in broad daylight. Great, now Char is licking me from head to toe in the middle of the street as if she were basting a Thanksgiving turkey. God, I feel so cheap!
"What part of go fuck your mates do you two not understand? Get that shit done now or someone else is gonna have to take care of it for you!" the Major yelled.
"You know Major, you're making it really hard for me to get it up with all your screaming. Big Yoda doesn't perform well under pressure—he's really sensitive that way." I protested.
"NOW!" The Major roared.
We both ran into the apartment carrying our mates—Riley into his room and Char and I into Bella's.
"What the fuck?" Bella yelled. "Get the hell out of my room!"
"Can't explain. Need to fuck Char now." I panted, then added, "Wanna join us?" She was dressed in a low cut tank top and daisy dukes and looked fuck-hot and tempting.
"Hell no! I'll just excuse myself now. Just wash the sheets when you're done. In fact, buy me new ones!" She slammed the door and left in a pissy mood. Now to take care of my mate...
A few hours later, Riley and I both stumbled out of the rooms with our mates fully sated and back to their normal selves. "Would someone mind telling me why the hell I had to leave work to have sex with my mate?" Riley asked.
"Yeah, what happened to Char and Vicky? It was almost as if they were possessed." I said. "It happened as soon as Rex woke up."
"Ah...that would be Rex's gift making itself known." Eleazar said.
"I think you're going to have to explain his gift to us." Vicky said. "Am I going to react like this every time I see him?"
"Yes and no." Eleazar said. "Rex is an incubus, and like all incubi he has the power to entice women . Incubi, however, have another power—they can manipulate a woman's subconscious to desire sex. The manipulation is so powerful that it quickly turns into a raging physical need. She starts to believe that if she does not obtain her physical release she will die. Her body soon goes into a frenzy. In fact, the only way to stop the subconscious thought is for the woman to have her sexual release, otherwise, the need will eat away at her mind."
"Wait a second! Are you saying that Rex can hypnotize a woman into needing an orgasm in a matter of minutes?" I asked. That's a pretty cool power to have if you ask me. The fun I could have with that power is endless.
"Well, yes, but remember that Rex is a newborn and he did what came instinctually to him without knowledge. When he used his power on Charlotte and Victoria, he didn't know he was an incubus or a vampire. Our saving grace was the fact that Tanya unintentionally marked Rex before his awakening. Her protective instinct as his mate took over and we were able to escape with Char and Vicky before he or your mates acted on their sexual desires. After that, it was up to you and Riley to satisfy their need before they succumbed to it."
"Does Rex have this power over all women? I'm worried about the other women in our family." , Garrett asked Eleazar.
"Yes he does and we will have to keep the female members of our family away from him until he is able to control his power. It shouldn't take long though because he's mated to Tanya. A mated incubus will desire his mate only. In Rex's case, Tanya's a succubus so she has her very own strong sexual pull."
"What are we gonna do about his bloodlust?" Jasper asked.
"Ah, here's the beauty of it. If my past research proves correct, Rex and Tanya's sexual lust as mated incubi and succubi have increased exponentially. I think their sexual lust has, for the most part, cancelled out their bloodlust. It shouldn't be a problem for you and Bella to see them soon."
"I don't think so. What about his subconscious manipulation? I don't need him pulling that mindfuck on my Bella." Jasper said.
"Bella won't be affected. Rex will not be able to penetrate her mental shield." Eleazar then turned to Bella. "You're quite powerful as a human. I'm looking forward to working with you so that you can gain full control of your shield."
"Okay, how are we supposed to know when it's safe for the women to go back?" I asked.
"Well, unfortunately, one of our mates will have to volunteer to go see how they're faring." Eleazar said.
Just as I was about to volunteer Char's and my services, Carmen spoke up.
"Mi amor, I will go. I don't want any of the children to have to go through what Char and Vicky did earlier. You will, of course come with me in case I'm overcome by his power?"
"Of course dear." Eleazar said.
Well that sucks. I was ready for round two of that wild ass sexin' that we just had, but Carmen had to go and be self sacrificing and all. It was probably for the best anyway since my new head shrinker Riley told me, this weekend, that I need to start taking Char's opinions into consideration. Damn—this 21st century male business isn't easy.
"When do you think we'll be able to return to New Hampshire?" Char asked.
"Let's give them until the end of the week and then call. Tanya and Rex should both be calm by then. Carmen and I will go check on them after that. Regardless, our new house should be ready by Saturday, according to the realtor."
"A week? Where are we all staying?" Katie asked.
"We'll have to split up—some of us will have to stay at the Penthouse and others will have to impose on Riley and Vicky's hospitality and stay here." Eleazar said. "We'll need to go shopping because we won't be able to go back for our clothes."
"I don't have a problem with some of you staying here. Vicky, Bella—are you two okay with it?"
"No problem." They both said at the same time. Hmm...so that's what he meant by taking others opinions into consideration.
"Peter and I will stay here...that is, if it's okay with you guys." Charlotte said.
"We'd love to have you." Bella said to my ecstatic mate.
"Would you mind if Garrett and I stayed here as well?" Katie asked. We want to get to know your family and catch up with Irina and Laurent." She said.
"Sure, we'd love to get to know you too." Vicky answered a delighted Katie.
"Well, then, that settles it. Eleazar and I will stay at the Cullens penthouse and you young kids stay here." Carmen said.
"Speaking of Cullens, shouldn't someone call the others in case they go back to New Hampshire and run into Rex and Tanya?" Bella said. We have an apartment full of vampires, four with military experience, and it takes the one human to actually suggest something that should have been done hours ago.
"Good idea. I'll take care of the calls." Eleazar said.
"I'll call Irina and Laurent." Riley said.
"Okay, so what are we gonna do now that we have an entire Monday free?" I said.
"The girls and I have the Stripping for Fitness class tonight, but not until 7pm." Vicky said. "It's overcast outside today so there's tons we could do."
"We need clothes and toiletries." Katie said.
"Peter and Char owe me new sheets." Bella said.
"Actually, Sugar, we owe you a new bed and mattress. We might have taken yours out."
"What?" Bella ran into her bedroom. A minute later she came out of her room horrified and asked us, "How? There are springs coming up through the mattress and the wood on the headboard's all splintered. How is that possible?"
"Well, Bella, it happens pretty often. Human furniture isn't built to withstand vampire sex." Riley said sheepishly. "Vicky and I actually have to replace our bed and mattress today too."
Bella stared at all of us wide eyed with her jaw agape, then ran into her brother's room. "I'm not even gonna ask what you guys did because your room looks worse than mine and on top of that, your dresser is shredded plus there's a Vicky sized dent in your wall."
What the fuck? I gotta check this out. How's it possible that this guy had even kinkier monkey sex than I did. I'm like the ruling king of wild sex. As soon as that thought left my mind, Garrett and Jasper both ran to check out Vicky and Riley's bedroom. I might as well check it out too.
"God damn! What the hell did you guys do?" Garrett asked.
"Uh...you have to get a new closet door." Jasper said scratching his head.
"So, we have to go to Home Depot too." Riley shrugged his shoulders, then he smirked and wagged his eyebrows at me. This is war asshole. You don't get to take down sexual royalty like me that easily. I arched my eyebrow and gave him my best "bring it on" look.
"Here." Bella said handing both me and Riley rulers. We both looked at her totally confused. "They're for measuring your dicks with."
Everyone started rolling. "She's got you there bro." Jasper said.
"You go girl!" Katie cheered.
"Yeah, well, can we get going? You guys might not need a place to sleep, but I actually do." Bella said.
"Sorry, Bells, you're right. Okay, let's get going." Riley said, grabbing his keys. We all turned towards the door.
"Ahem, can I borrow some clothes?" Char asked.
That's when we all noticed that my wife was sitting in the living room stark naked. Vicky was the first to respond. "Oh my goodness, of course, how come you didn't say anything earlier?"
"Oh, I like being naked." Char said matter of factly.
I'm such a bad mate. I didn't even notice that my wife was sitting in the living room naked. I wonder if they have a vampire nudist colony we could live at? She's always running around naked at home in Texas. Hmm...Do I have time to titty fuck her one more time before we go shopping? Probably not, seeing as Vicky's pulling her into the remains of her bedroom to go look for some clothes for Char to wear. I could do both of them. That Vicky has one hot ass. Nah, Riley doesn't look like the sharing type. Selfish bastard.
Carmen and Eleazar decided to take care of their shopping in Boston and head for Carlisle and Esme's penthouse. We were driving to a furniture store outside of Boston. Forty five minutes later, we were all at a monstrous store called Ikea. This place was madness. It was like a furniture funhouse. Everything was set up in cubicles so you could try it out, and they really want you to try it out. Seriously. There are signs all over the place that say "test me" and "try me." As soon as I saw the bedroom furniture I threw Char on the bed and gave it go. We were dry humping on a bed to test it out for Bella when some bozo with a nametag came and interrupted us.
"Excuse me, sir, ma'am. Ahem!" Bozo cleared his throat in order to get our attention. "Ikea is a family-friendly environment, therefore lewd acts are not permitted."
"Well Ernie," I said, reading his nametag, "the sign right there says 'test me' on it. That's exactly what the wife and I were doing."
"Yes, well by 'test me' we mean in an upright position." Ernie said, clearly uncomfortable.
"Well, ya shoulda just said that in the first place." I said.
"Thank you for understanding. Please enjoy the rest of your Ikea experience." Ernie said as he walked away.
"Okay, Ernie, will do." I said, as I moved and sat up with my back against the headboard. "Char, baby, I think he means we can only test it out cowgirl style. You're gonna have to move on top."
So, my wife straddled me and we continued bouncing and testing the bed.
"What the hell are you guys doing?" Jasper asked. He was holding Bella's hand and I had to admit that they looked good together.
"We're testing the bed out for you and your girl. What did ya think we were doing? The sign says 'test me'-see?"
"Um...okay...hmm...how should I put this, by testing they mean by bouncing on the mattress and stuff—one at a time." Bella said.
"You mean like this?" Katie asked from two beds over. She was jumping up and down on the mattress as if it were a trampoline. Bella's eyes gaped.
Vicky and Riley rushed over and showed them what the store meant by testing. Apparently, they want you to sit on it and bounce gently up and down. They also want you to lay on it and see how the mattress feels underneath your body.
"How the hell can they call that testing? It's not like we lay still on a mattress." Garrett asked, voicing my opinion.
"I know what you mean." Vicky soothed a pouting Garrett. "Humans are funny that way. Irina, Laurent, and I didn't know until Riley and Bella explained it to us too."
I was really starting to like this Ikea store too. Unfortunately, they still have a long way to go as far as customer service is concerned. For one, they really need to post some kind of guideline for testing. I think I'll fill out a customer comment card before I leave. This store has potential, but really sitting and bouncing gently on a bed can't really be considered testing.
After finishing up at Ikea, we decided to split up from the girls in the interest of time. The girls went to pick up clothes and whatnot for everyone while we men decided to go to Home Depot for repair supplies and head back to the apartment so that we could start assembling furniture and work on repairs. Really, I don't see why I should have to help Riley repair his room. I'm not the one that went all savage on my mate and knocked out part of the wall. Eh, maybe he'll have to return the favor someday. Better help him.
By the time the girls got back, we were done with all the wall repairs and only had the furniture left to assemble. The girls quickly got ready and headed out for their class. Laurent and Emmett walked in a few minutes after they left and, with their help and working at vampire speed, we were able to put all the furniture together in thirty minutes.
Riley ran to the store and came back about ten minutes later with three bunches of flowers which he threw in vases. "What the hell are those for?" I asked.
"They're for the bedrooms. Why?" He said as he handed Laurent a vase.
"Why the hell would you need to put flowers in a bedroom?" I totally couldn't figure out why anyone would need flowers in a bedroom.
"It makes the girls happy." Riley said. He then went to the rooms and placed the vases on dressers. "Bella likes pink roses, Irina likes red and white zinnias, and Vicky likes tulips in all different colors."
"How often do you do this?" I asked.
"Between Laurent and I? Maybe once a week. We usually switch off weeks. We vary the flowers every once in a while too."
"Wait a minute. Are you guys telling me that you plan this shit?" Garrett asked. You took the words right out of my mouth man.
"Well, yeah, what if we both showed up with flowers for the girls? It's happened before, you know."
"Okay, I don't get this. What's the point of flowers?" I asked.
"He already told you." Laurent said, "The girls like it—they make them happy. Don't you want your mates to be happy?"
"Yeah, but every week? Isn't that a little excessive?" I questioned.
"Not really, when the girls are happy we're happy. Plus, they look nice." Laurent said.
When Garrett, Jasper, Emmett, and I stood there like blithering idiots not saying anything. Riley spoke up. "Okay, think back to before you were changed? What did you always bring girls before you took them out on dates?" Riley asked.
"I don't know man. We didn't go out on dates in my time. We called it courting then and that was only with at least one chaperone." Garrett said.
"Okay, then, when you courted the girls did you ever bring them anything?"
Garrett looked like he was thinking really hard, then in a moment of clarity he said, "Violets. I remember bringing the girl violets. That was during the Revolutionary War and everything was scarce, but there were plenty of flowers everywhere. So I picked some violets in a field, tied some ribbon around the stem and gave it to her. She really seemed to like them. She even took one of her gloves off and held my hand for a minute. I forgot about that. It was the first time I ever touched a woman's bare skin."
"Okay, now imagine your mates feeling like that all the time." Riley said.
Wow. These guys have women down pat. They're right. I remember the first time I courted a girl. I snipped a yellow rose out of my mama's garden and brought it to her. I caught hell from mama for cutting the flower, but the look on the girls face and the kiss she gave me on my cheek made it all worthwhile. I don't remember the girl's name, but Char...my mate...Char who would walk on burning coals to make sure I was happy...she deserves all the flowers in the world every, single day...she's totally worth it. I'm gonna ask her what her favorite flower is as soon as I see her tonight.
I look up and see Emmett and Jasper deep in thought. They were probably thinking that flowers may not be a bad thing after all like Garrett and me were.
"Now that we're all talking anyway," Emmett turned to both Riley and Laurent. "can I ask you guys something. It's kind of personal?"
"Sure what's up?" Riley asked.
"Is it true that you guys both shave your pubes?" Emmett blurted out. "Rosie's been getting at me all week about how you guys do it and so I should too. I guess Irina and Vicky told them. Plus on Thursday night, the role playing dude told me that I needed to take care of my grooming. Is that a new thing for guys or something?"
"I was wondering about that too. Char's been following me around with a razor all week. I've been kinda scared to take my pants off in front of her." I admitted.
"You can take this Riley." Laurent chuckled.
"Alright, the best way to explain this would be to talk about women. Women do tons to make themselves look nice. They shave their legs, wax their eyebrows, get manicures and pedicures, workout to stay in shape, put makeup on, and get their hair styled and highlighted all in the name of beauty. I'm sure your mates even take care of their female landscaping too. I know in Vicky's case, she gets a Brazilian wax done every six weeks or so."
"What the hell's a Brazilian wax? Can you stop talking in code and just put it out there. Use manspeak for God's sake." Garrett said.
Riley sighed then spoke. "Okay, a Brazilian wax is when a woman gets most of her pubic hairs removed using hot wax. Now, think about your mates. Are their pussies bushy or do they take care of their strays?"
"Katie has no hair down there, don't most women come like that?" Garrett asked.
"No, Garrett. I can almost guarantee that Katie gets her stray hairs taken care of before you notice. You should ask her sometime. I bet she goes through a lot of effort to keep herself looking good for you." Riley said with a smile. "The point is, our mates put themselves through the pain of their beauty rituals for us. So why shouldn't we put in a little effort for them. It's the least we can do. They shouldn't have to remind us to shave or get our haircut."
Shit! Char's constantly nagging me to do both. She really does keep herself looking pretty for me too. I can't even make the effort to walk to the fucking bathroom and shave everyday.
"Okay, but how do we take care of our manscaping?" Emmett asked.
"I just keep it trimmed so it's not as bushy. Some men get it completely waxed, but that's all personal preference." Riley said.
"How do we trim it? Can we see your work man?" Emmett asked.
"Um...you should go to the bookstore. They have guides on male grooming." Riley said a bit uncomfortably. I can't blame the guy, I wouldn't want any one staring at my man parts. I need to go to the bookstore and the florist now.
"Well can you help us find the right book?" Garrett asked.
"Sure, no problem. Any other questions?" Riley asked.
Jasper suddenly raised his hand as if he were in a classroom. "What do you guys think of bringing a rabbit into the bedroom?"
"I think they're great! Char enjoys bringing one to bed with us." I said.
"Yeah, Katie likes hers too. I don't mind, it spices things up." Garrett added.
"There's nothing wrong with a Rabbit as long as you're both comfortable with it. Vicky loves hers." Riley said.
"You guys aren't uncomfortable with it? You don't feel threatened?" Jasper asked with trepidation. Come to think of it. I don't think I've ever seen Jasper look so scared.
"Why would we be threatened by a little Rabbit?" Emmett piped in. "They help to intensify their orgasms."
Jasper's eyes widened in fear and then he gulped. "Can't they have intense orgasms without bringing a rabbit to bed?"
"Yeah, sure, we don't bring it to bed with us all the time, but every once in a while Rabbits add a little kick to the lovemaking." Laurent said.
"I see." Jasper nodded. Well, now I've seen it all. The big bad Major is terrified of a little battery operated vibrator. This is hilarious. He's been in hundreds of battles and taken down thousands of newborns yet he's afraid of an itty-bitty mechanical Rabbit.
"So, what do you say we hit the bookstore and throw the football around a bit? My muscles could use a little workout." Riley suggested.
"Cool, let's go! Maybe we can go to the L Street Bar afterwards for a pick me up. My treat." Emmett said.
We all stood up to go because I think most of us needed to just get out of there. Things were getting way to heavy for us dudes in there. From flowers to manscaping—being a modern man seemed like hard work. I'm determined to make Char happy, though, so I'll do whatever it takes—even if I have to spread em wide at Waxorama to get my foliage cropped.
Well, what did you think? Was the male vamp bonding, okay? I thought they were a lot more serious than the girls were. Do you think Peter's making an honest effort at improving himself? Are you glad things worked out the way they did for Rex and Tanya? I'd love to hear from you and I will always write back. Let me know what you think of my image of Rex the Sex too.
Special Author's Note: With the posting of Chapter 11, Life Happens, So Just Roll With It surpassed 1000 reviews. I didn't realize this until I received messages from Heavyinfinity and Anadybyel informing me of the fact. It even made it to the Jasper/Bella Over 1000 C2 Community. If you're looking for a great Jasper/Bella fic check out that C2, it's always a great place to find a noteworthy Jasper/Bella fic.
I'd also like to thank some authors who have been very supportive of me in my writing and some of them with just plain ol' real life. I'm going to list them in alphabetical order because they're all wonderful and supportive in their own way. Check out their stories, they're grrreat! I sound a little like Tony the Tiger there, don't I? So, a long overdue thanks to:
heavyinfinity: A Moment Changes Everything
IzzyBFFAddict92: True Hearts and Truly Home
Karen E. Teague: Redemption Comes When Least Expected
Moore 8879: There's No Such Thing As Too Much PB&J
VSPS: Be Careful What You Wish For
Wendy 1969: Three For the Road