A/N: So sorry about the wait! End of summer, back to college. Enough said.
After Chakotay irrefutably rejected Kathryn Janeway, he walked very sullenly to the bar where Kathryn had just been and emulated her moment of solitude, but this time sitting alone at the furtherest darkest corner of the bar, so he was sure to not get disturbed. Ordering a double whiskey Chakotay felt the hard liquor pour icily down his throat into the emptiness that was him. Alcohol wasn't going to solve his problem and he knew it, so for three hours, Chakotay sat there in a desolate state, swishing the whiskey in his glass around peering into the depths of the golden liquid, as if appearing to seek some answer within it.
"Tuvok to Commander Chakotay," the sudden emotionless voice through his comm badge brought him out of his ponderous state.
He sat his glass down on the table and ran a hand over his face, right now he didn't feel like much of a Commander, after all he had just disappointed the Captain greatly. Chakotay sighed responding with no enthusiasm inked in his voice.
"Go ahead."
"Commander, have you seen the Captain?"
There was a short pause as Chakotay struggled to answer calmly, "Not recently."
"Captain Janeway was due back on voyager at 1800 for a Tactical meeting, I have tried contacting her, but our sensors are not detecting her comm signal."
There was a long deafening silence over the comm line, Tuvok without so much as raising an eyebrow on his expressionless face, inquired again as Chakotay failed to respond, "Commander?"
Chakotay tried to collect his words before treading down a most delicate topic.
"I..." he started out slowly, "I haven't seen her for hours, but when I last talked to her, we had a somewhat...misunderstanding, she was upset, she...she ran off, but she was wearing her comm badge that i'm certain of..." he sighed and mumbled, "...Perhaps she does not want to be found."
"I have known Captain Janeway for many years, and one thing I am certain of is that the Captain would never abandon her duties to Voyager, even if I am to understand this situation correctly, is over a personal matter. This is most unlike her."
What have you done? Chakotay chided himself. Tuvok was right, this was definitely most unlike Kathryn, a woman with feelings nonetheless, but she was first and foremost the Captain. She wasn't as invincible as she led on, he must really have stuck a knife into her this time. He stood up gulfed down the last of his whiskey in one gulp and strided out of the bar.
"I'll find her Tuvok, Chakotay out."
Half an hour later,
After talking to the few crew members still ashore, badgering every ensign and crewman in the vacinity about whether they had seen Captain Janeway, a bad feeling sunk very deeply in the pit of Chakotay's stomach.
Just then the maquis and his close friend, B'Elanna rounded the corner of the populated village.
"Chakotay, why are you asking every ensign and crewman if they've seen Captain Janeway?" joking somewhat.
"Not now, B'Elanna I need to..." he sounded like he was about to spill everything to her, but he shook it off, carrying on, walking past her hurriedly.
He sounded very serious and B'Elanna's smile vanished quickly, realizing that this was no odd rumor that she had been hearing from the crew.
"Need to what?" she yelled out, jogging to catch up with him, "Chakotay!"
He turned around suddenly to face her looking down, unable to look her in the eyes, in fear that he would fall apart.
"B'Elanna, Kathryn hasn't shown up on Voyager for hours, and no one can contact her..." he opened his mouth about to spill to B'Elanna the truth about what happened between them, but he couldn't admit it out loud, he was ashamed at the very thought of it.
B'Elanna could sense the tone of regret and pain in his voice, something was worrying him and not just in a professional capacity but a deeply personal one.
"Chakotay..." she gripped his forearm comfortingly with her hand, forcing eye contact with him, "What happened between you two?"
He blinked, letting the question sink in for a few moments before responding, "I just..." he faltered and sighed rather disappointedly at himself, "...B'Elanna we have to find her...I really screwed up this time."
She could tell by the way he looked and sounded that something serious had happened between them, she lay a gentle hand on his shoulder, she didn't know what happened between them but if Chakotay's sad puppy dog face was any indication she would leave it for now and simply help her poor friend.
"Okay, we'll find her," she assured him, "Torres, to the bridge," she tapped her comm badge.
"Yes, Lieutenant," Tuvok's voice came through clearly.
"Send a security team down to the planet...to find Captain Janeway."
"Understood."
Chakotay gave B'Elanna a weak smile, and a greatful nod, "Thanks," he whispered as she ran a comforting hand up and down his arm, and headed off to meet up with Tuvok and the security team, while Chakotay took off down the beach heading in the direction of the painful spot where he had last seen Kathryn.
10 minutes later,
After convening with the security team, B'Elanna, Tom Tuvok to name a few could be seen walking towards him. Chakotay could already sense the smug grin on Harry's face, no doubt proudly taking command of the bridge.
"Commander," Tuvok approached acknowledging Chakotay.
He gave a nod and pointed towards to his side, at the lush green vastness ahead of him,"I last saw the Captain heading in this direction."
"Through the shrubs...May I ask why?" Tom inquired, suspiciously.
Chakotay snapped, "Look, I don't have time to explain right now!"
"Okay..." he backed off, "B'Elanna and I will take the West side."
Likewise Tuvok replied, "My team will take the South."
Chakotay had no clue or any indication about where she may be, but if he knew Kathryn Janeway, she wasn't the type of person to make things easy for herself or do things the easy way. He had more of a chance finding her by going in the direction of the most arduous path.
"I'll take the North."
"Keep an open comm link," Tuvok lastly instructed, before they each parted, with their hopes.
40 mins later,
They were still no closer to finding Kathryn than they had been when they split from each other. This was getting ridiculous, Chakotay thought as he plowed through the bushes and plant life for the thousandth time. Everything looked the same, he felt like he was getting no where.
A spot of rain landed delicately on Chakotay's shoulder as a pre-warning for the pour to come. He looked to the sky and saw the dark crimson colored clouds that began to form, sending dark shadows across the planet, but yet still light enough for everything to be visible. If it wasn't for the nature of this planet, it would be long dark by now, after all it was now quite late into the evening.
No sooner did the first spot of rain appear, did the the pour that began to follow it, as rain drops began falling heavily on him.
"Great," he mumbled angrily to himself.
"Kathryn!" he yelled once more.
He had gone quite a distance in search for her. According to the thinner altitude, Chakotay could only presume that he had now reached the top of the cliff. He walked over to the edge to the cliff outlined by a row of palm like trees, and clung on to one for support. He peered down below it to find the sandy beach and the village in the far distance. He leant against the trees firm trunk, sheltered from the rain by the slight shelter that its large leaves provided. A stray raindrop from one of the leaves dripped onto his forehead trailing down his tattoo all the way to his jaw bone, he wiped the water from his face and turned around to see separation of path he had been somewhat following, that he hadn't seen before.
Hesitant at first to leave the shelter of the tree, he braved the rain and walked to get a closer look at the other track, as soon as he neared it he saw that it trailed down the cliff face steeply, curving around at the bottom meeting the sandy beach he and Kathryn had been walking down that day. It was still a fair distance down and surely a dangerous option in dry weather nevertheless wet, but when he thought about Kathryn, she would never choose the easy way out.
He called her name out once more, this time in the direction down the track but heard nothing but the pitter patter of rain landing on his muscular shoulders, and the cool wind blowing every so often.
This is hopeless, where could she be?
He tapped his comm badge, "Chakotay to Torres."
"Torres here, Chakotay have you found her?" her voice was cloaked in hope.
"No..." he said defeatedly, his tone solemnly heard over the comm link, B'Elanna looked to Tom with sadness etched in her eyes, not only for the unreported sighting of Janeway but for the way Chakotay sounded.
"We're not having any luck either, we've spoken to a few others, but no one has seen her...Chakotay I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but I'm really worried now."
"So am I..." Chakotay admitted.
"The rains not getting any better...maybe we should start heading back to the Village, maybe she's gone back."
"No!" Chakotay's answer was crisp, "There will be crew there, I'm sure they all know by now, if she went back we'd already know."
"Maybe so, but-"
"Just keep looking B'Elanna, she has to be here somewhere, Chakotay out."
He ended the comm hastily, not wanting to hear anymore unoptimistic thoughts about Kathryn. He scanned the area again with his tricorder, looking for lifesigns but finding none, the cliff rocks could easily be falsifying his readings, blocking any lifesigns within close proximity, it was proving to be a fruitless search.
Chakotay had already made it to the end of the cliff, there was nothing beyond him, the only way now was down, the rocky path ahead of him was the last thing he wanted to go down but he had to eliminate any possible routes, anywhere that she may be.
30 minutes of walking slowly down the rocky grit path, clinging to the rock face as a balance, the rain had finally eased up, now falling in a light spray. Chakotay was by now completely soaked, but coldness eluded him. He had far more pressing issues to worry about, it made no difference to him since with every passing minute he still felt an uncontrollable feeling of numbness.
He was nearing the bottom of the track when Chakotay suddenly stopped, seeing a faint blue mass in what appeared to be a large pit at the bottom of the edge of the cliff coming off from the trial, the richness of the bluish color contrasting with the dull earthy tones of the rocks and dirt highlighting the mass from all that surrounded it. Picking up his pace somewhat, he continued down the track to get closer look and all too soon he began to notice that the blue mass began to take form, his eyes widened when he realized that the faint blue mass began to outline a figure of a body, her body.
"Kathryn!" Chakotay yelled, now rushing down the path as it spiraled down into the rocky pit bellow, adrenaline now pulsing through his veins.
Kathryn was laying helpless, her lower body pinned under a layer of fallen rocks.
Over the last few hours she had been slipping in and out of consciousness, not knowing how much time had really passed, despondency consuming her. Kathryn thought she could hear the faint sound of Chakotay's voice, but in her present state it could have been the wind or her mind playing tricks on her. But the second time, Kathryn was more than sure that she had heard his strong voice echo out at her, she forced her eyes open this time, and tried to tilt her head up in the direction of the voice but cringed painfully at the pressure and pounding of her head that the sudden movement caused, forcing her to resign in defeat.
"Chakotay?" she croaked weakly.
She could hear the crunching of rocks underneath his feet as he neared her until suddenly there he was.
"Kathryn..." he said softly, falling to his knee's in front of her, pulling long stray strands of hair away from her, checking for her response, and seeing her tiredly pry her eyes open until she met his gentle eyes.
"Chakotay," she whispered once more, this time in relief.
"I'm here, i'm here" he stroked her face gently, seeing the deep gash that she had on the side of her right temple, sticky with blood, and sticking to her hair, his eyes trailed down her frail injured body seeing the cuts and scrapes lining her bare arms, "Kathryn i'm sorry, i'm so so sorry," his sad eyes began to pool with tears,
"I should never have let you go."
She opened her mouth to speak trying to shift position but groaned in pain, as Chakotay saw that her legs were still pinned under a pile of fallen rocks.
"I'm going to get these rocks off you, okay."
She nodded weakly, as he moved to shift the the heavy rocks off her legs and she groaned as the pressure released itself.
She was shivering and her teeth clattered softly, her wet and now dirty dress clung to her body giving her a curvacious appearance, especially as the dress clung tighter to her chest, she had a slim and petite frame, but she was well endowed, he'd give her that.
Chakotay carefully rolled her from her position on her side onto her back and she cried out in pain from her ribs, her arms wrapping protectively around her sides. Chakotay leaned over Kathryn, nearing his face with hers, she was bruised, cut and injured but she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Locking her eyes with him, she suddenly remembered how she had landed herself in this situation in the first place, reminiscing her last encounter with him, the way she had embarrassed herself, when he couldn't return her feelings, she remembered just how deeply she was hurt by his reaction, she turned her head to the side unable to look at him with a straight face anymore as a tear began to escape from the corner of her eye.
As soon as she turned her head, Chakotay caught her chin gently with a large hand, pulling her face back to look at his, recognizing this familiar look of emotional pain that he had seen on her face those few hours ago, he needed to clear things up once and for all, and give her the answer that she had deserved to hear in the first place.
"I love you Kathryn Janeway."
Her eyes filled with pain softened, looking up at the handsome man, she had never seen so much genuine emotion etched in his face and she was certain that she had never seen his deep brown eyes glow so brightly.
"Always have, always will," he beamed down at her, scooping her upper body up carefully around her shoulders so that her face was inches away from his, his face wasn't of sadness anymore he had a smile about him that said more than words could describe, a smile crept on her mouth as she realized that he did love her. Not only that, he had rescued her. Continuing to look into his eyes, Kathryn leant a little further towards him despite the pain in her body until her lips brushed lightly over his and they shared the kiss, they were well overdue to have.
Once they pulled apart, Chakotay looked down at the woman in his arms with such happiness and tapped his comm badge.
"Voyager, medical emergency, two to beam up, directly to sickbay," and with that they dematerialized to the haven of their ship.
After beaming to sickbay, the Doctor immediately went into action healing Kathryn's injuries, while he did so Chakotay unwillingly left her, by her insistence to tend to his duties, to inform Tuvok and the others and brief the Vulcan about what happened, whilst trying to leave the gist of the personal reason out of it. Chakotay would leave this one for Kathryn, seeing as Tuvok was a dear friend of hers. The Vulcan seemed to understand and did not pry any further.
When Chakotay returned to sickbay he saw Kathryn lying on the biobed in a sickbay gown and a cortical scanner pressed behind her ear, her injuries were gone and she looked to be in a pleasant slumber, understandable after that day's ordeal.
"Well Commander," the Doctor began stepping around the biobed Kathryn lay on, just finishing reading her vitals, "I don't know what to say really," he came up to him at the foot of the bed.
"She's been out in the rain and cold for several hours, a laceration to her head, a serious concussion for the most part, two broken ribs and a broken leg. I've managed to heal everything but she will be a bit tender for the next day or so. I gave her a sedative that should render her asleep until morning. I want to keep her here to monitor her brain, she had a nasty concussion and I don't want to rule out anything at the moment, but if nothing happens overnight then i'll be comfortable releasing her tomorrow, I know the Captain will be eager to get back to work...or after what i've been hearing perhaps not..."
"What have you heard?," Chakotay snapped at him.
"Nothing much, just that the Captain hadn't returned to the ship and there was a little speculation as to whether she had abandoned her duties or not."
"Thats untrue. See to it that you put people straight in future," he responded about to head over to her, but the Doctor placed a hand on his forearm stopping him for a moment.
"With all due respect Commander, I think the Captain can do that after she has rested, as for yourself, I would advise the same thing. Go back to your quarters, she's not going to be awake anytime soon," the Doctor scanned Chakotay's worried face looking back to her, " I won't deactivate myself, i'll be with her all night, I promise."
Eyes fixated on Kathryn, Chakotay looked at her, studying her peaceful face, watching her chest rise and fall, the indicators that told him that she was safe and well, he longed to be beside her and hold her all night and protect her from any form of danger or harm which she may endure but he knew there was little he could do now, so with that Chakotay gave a slow nod.
"Okay, but if there is so much as any problem," he stared into the Doctor's eyes seriously.
"You'll be the first I contact."
Chakotay dropped his head, then looked back to Kathryn and then to the Doctor, "Can I have a moment alone with her first."
"Certainly, I'll be in my office. Goodnight, Commander," and with that the Doctor left him at the foot of the bed as he ventured into his office.
"Goodnight, Doctor."
Walking around the biobed he came closer to her, she looked blissfully peaceful, he ran his fingers gently down her temple and placed a kiss on her forehead, thinking how close he was to losing her that day.
"Goodnight, Kathryn," and with another glance at her, he exited sickbay, to enter his own quarters and crawled into the comfort of his bed, where he fell immediately to sleep.
The next day,
Chakotay woke up and like an automatic reaction, he reached for his comm badge on his nightstand and contacted the doctor.
"Chakotay to Sickbay."
"I'm afraid you're too late Commander, Captain Janeway already insisted on be released an hour ago, I tried reasoning with her but-"
He sighed, unsurprised by the Doctors news, "Understood...thank Doctor."
Afterwards, Chakotay had a sonic shower, changed into his uniform and headed out of his quarters, smiling somewhat, she was still the same old Kathryn, and if he knew Captain Janeway, he was sure he knew where to find her.
Stepping off the turbolift onto the bridge, the senior staff looked at him with a jubilant look as though they knew exactly who he was looking around to find, and sure enough Chakotay saw Paris cock his head in the direction of Kathryn's ready room, indicating that she was already probably slumming away at work and reports that had remained unfinished.
One person who caught his attention was B'Elanna Torres, who was busily working away at her console, Chakotay sauntered over to her thinking that after yesterday she deserved an apology for snapping at her when she was just trying to help.
"B'Elanna," he said quietly catching her attention as she turned around seeing her longest friend.
"I just wanted to apologize for yesterday."
Her face softened, and she shrugged, "Don't worry about it, I understand."
"You're a good friend B'Elanna, thank you," he smiled at her, putting a large hand on her shoulder.
She nodded as Chakotay looked towards the ready room and moved past him leaning into his shoulder and whispering to him before she walked off.
"Go get her."
He quickly turned around before B'Elanna stepped onto the turbolift giving him a playful wink before she stepped in and the doors hissed shut.
Chakotay's smiled widened and he did just that, walking across the bridge to the Captain's ready room, where he could feel the anticipated stares from the officers on the bridge burning into the back of his head.
Studying the data on her computer monitor, Kathryn took a sip of Coffee, when she heard the door chime. No surprises in guessing who it was she thought as she placed her coffee down and let her first officer in.
"Come in."
"Chakotay," she said calmly, looking at him with well rested eyes, her heart somewhat fluttering as she took in his tall muscular form.
"Hello, Kathryn, I trust you're better now."
She nodded, "The Doctor gave me the all clear."
"Not without a little persuasion am I right?" he came up to her desk.
She leaned back in her chair looking at him with gentle eyes, "Maybe..."
Chakotay turned from her desk and began to walk towards the windows, looking out towards the stars, "I just can't help but think that, if it weren't for me..." he hung his head looking at the floor.
"Chakotay," Kathryn whispered softly as she stood up.
Talking to his back as she walked up to him, "I've been denying it for so long...it...it wasn't fair to just spring it onto you like that...so if anyone is sorry, it's me."
Chakotay spun around so they now faced each other, "Gods Kathryn, don't say that. You're an amazing woman you know that," he took her hands in his and she raised an eyebrow playfully, surprised a little by his words.
"This won't be easy you know," she looked at him with sad eyes.
Chakotay cupped her chin, "Kathryn, there will be things we agree upon and things that we don't. But as long as we trust and respect another and our decisions whatever they may be, i'm certain that together, we will make a stronger team than we are apart."
She smiled at him, looking into his big bear eyes, "I love you."
"I know, and I love you too.." he dropped his face and laughed inwardly, "You have no idea how long i've waited for you to say that."
"Oh I think I do," she leant forward to kiss his soft lips, her hands coming up to cup the side of his face delicately.
"Tuvok to Janeway," the Vulcan voice broke through her comm badge, breaking the most passionate of moments.
"The warp engines are now online."
She cracked a smile at the interruption, resting her forehead against Chakotay's trying to suppress the laughter that threatened to escape from her mouth.
"On our way," she said calmly, pressing her hand against Chakotays strong chest, he caught it gently and placed a kiss on her palm, smiling at each other once more before turning to walk out of her ready room, face painted with happiness and an equally happy first officer following behind her.
Stepping onto the bridge, Kathryn sat down in her Captains chair while Chakotay took to his to her left.
looking out of the view screen, Kathryn turned her attention to Tom, "Mr Paris, resume course to the Alpha Quadrant, warp 6."
"Aye, aye Captain," Tom entered in the co-ordinates.
With her first officer, best friend and future partner by her side, Kathryn looked to Chakotay beside her and gave him warm smile, feeling optimistic about the futute, wherever their journey may take them, they would face it together.
"Engage."
THE END