A/N: Can you keep a secret? I don't own Harry Potter :(

Things couldn't get any worse. Seriously; I mean, what could possibly beat Azkaban?

Oh that's right— a life span spent by Sirius Black's side.

I sighed, sliding down the cold wall of an empty classroom. When it's put that way it doesn't sound so bad I guess. Many others, who had somehow heard the story of what transpired that detention, seemed to think the same. This wasn't normal for me. I don't hide in classrooms when I'm confronted by problems. I don't let other people's opinions of me get to me like they were now. I suppose the difference between a few trollops and the entire school snubbing you made the difference.

Not too long after I had run out on Black (three days ago) I was confronted by an angry James Potter and Remus Lupin. After our 'talk', which involved many loud nasty words, and even worse hexes, I limped my way up to the hospital wing. The two idiots followed behind with their own wounds that needed mending. I didn't expect to see him there though.

"What in Merlin's name happened!" cried Madame Pomfrey at the sight of us. Casting glances at each other quickly we all answered simultaneously.

"Slytherins," she eyed us momentarily before ushering us towards separate beds. After having done the boys first with a few quick flicks of her wand she turned to me. Her gaze felt like a weight on my entire body and I felt myself shirking back.

"I'm very disappointed in you Miss. Crosse." my eyes widened.

"Excuse me?" she began an intricate movement with her arm before answering me; leaving me with a very pain-free knee. "erm— thanks,"

"Your decision Miss. Crosse, the one that has landed Mr. Black in my wing…for the last time." I was shocked to see her eyes fill with tears as she looked regretfully at a bed near the end of the room with covers blocking the view of its occupant. Then with a pang I realized this would be my last time in the hospital wing. I felt the gazes of the two marauders on me as I stared at the wall opposite of me. "He might have been a bit rough around the edges, but he was a good boy—" with a small sniff she cast her healing eyes on me once more and began a series of moves to relieve me of my injuries.

"It'll be my last time in here too you know," I said softly. Then, casting my eyes towards hers, she met my gaze unflinching and replied.

"And whose fault is that?" something inside me dropped as I let my head fall forward slightly. Right, that would be mine. The one who was suffering over trying to maintain some sort of control over their life; "He had so much potential, and while I know he's made mistakes in the past, because I've tended to most of them, he didn't deserve this." I didn't bother to look up at her as she continued to cut me with her words. "What a disgrace."

Squeezing my eyes shut in an attempt to block out any more words a lone tear fell down my cheek. I brought my arms up to wrap around myself in a sense of comfort that never came. Her last words had not meant to be heard as she walked away quickly.

I bit my tongue to keep from retorting and defending myself (since that obviously didn't go over well). With the shield of my hair I glanced quickly over at James and Remus who were talking with Madame Pomfrey near her office. Shifting my gaze I looked back over to the other patient in the room who was hidden out of view, the declared victim. The one who had forced this situation by pushing me too far and leaping over the proverbial line. Shaking my head I silently slid off the sterile white bed and towards the exit.

"Ryleigh?" I stopped mid-step and looked over my shoulder. Unbeknownst to me the three fans of Black stopped their conversation to watch what would happen next. "Ryleigh? Please…PLEASE!" his anguished whisper of my name turned into a terrible cry and I ran towards the exit.

"Where do you think you're going?" James blocked my exit and held his wand at me, pointing it directly at my heart. Then I felt the pressure of hard slightly worn wood at my neck.

"Go to him," Remus commanded me, "now." With a parade of tears ready to march their way down my face I hurriedly did as I was told and crossed the room towards Black. It was blatantly clear that no one was on my side, and so I held the tears back just as Madame Pomfrey pulled back the current; and there he was.

My breath left me, almost indefinitely as I forgot to continue inhaling and exhaling the precious elixir of life. Black's weary eyes locked on mine as soon as the curtain was drawn. The corners of his mouth lifted and his body seemed to relax in an instant, as if it was once tense with some kind of pain. Was I his elixir of life? He reached his hand out towards me and I took in a sharp intake of breath. Did he need me? Because it seemed so suddenly to me that his wanting me was so much different from needing me at this moment. He had evolved, his pursuit of me changing the circumstances. Want turned to need.

"Ryleigh," my voice poured from his lips in a single breath and he closed his eyes in a peaceful way. "I knew you'd come. I knew you wouldn't leave me. Not after I worked so hard to get you." His weary eyes opened once again showing a strange brightness as he reached his hand further out to me while I stared at him in a daze. His fingertip brushed the back of my hand, "Mine."

That word was all it took for me to have my feelings of anger, humiliation, and determination return to me full force. I stepped back from him a step and his once confident gaze flickered with uncertainty.

"No," I told him in a harsh whisper. "How dare you put me in this situation. This is all your fault. If you hadn't of done that damn potion you wouldn't be in this mess. You wouldn't have forced me to make this decision if you hadn't been so stubborn." Black tensed up and wrapped an arm around his waist.

"Don't, please-", he pleaded.

"Goodbye Sirius," I raced out of the room as quickly as I could. I couldn't escape his tortured groans of pain, or the sound of his heavy weeping.

And now here I was, 3 days later, hiding from the world around me. Having to almost constantly keep up a protective shield charm around me was draining. But after one day filled with hexes and jinxes being sent in my direction non-stop, wasn't something I could tolerate. If only I could silencio my school mates as well. Their bark was just as bad as their bite.

Morgana help me, what kind of war was I fighting. My win in the battle against Black was supposed to be the end of it all, but I suppose I had lost that as well. And now to add to my loses I had lost the support of my friends in my decision. I was losing everything thanks to him. My lip split as I forcefully bit down on it to try and keep my hysterics down to a minimum. The taste of my blood was just another reminder of the wounds I had gathered from these past few days.

It wouldn't be like this where I was headed. My eyes shut in concentration as I thought up what this new turn in my life would bring. Death inevitably; long days were hope would drain from my body. Happiness would leave me. My only comforting thought being that I was able to choose the course my life would take; even if it was unpleasant.

"Fuck," I muttered aloud to myself. Who was I kidding? How was a life sentence in Azkaban any better than being with a man who "loved" me? My thoughts drifted towards my other choice. Could I be happy knowing that I was forced into a life I never wanted. To be with a man who had made my life hell and allow him to lord over me. Was it possible for me to relinquish all my control over to him? Have no choice of my fate, instead leaving all the decisions that were rightfully mine to make, up to him?

What life was that? One where surely the days would pass in years with no nights for me to escape in sleep. One where all hope of a better life was completely out of reach and happiness could never be mine.

No life-

Although…there could be one if you were to give Sirius a chance.

A small whisper of a voice suggested from somewhere in the depths of my mind. I shook my head immediately. No. Never.

He had a chance to leave me alone, get on with his life. Black pushed too far, too much. He would never have my love because of it. What would I be if I allowed any sort of feelings to develop between Black and me? A traitor.

I was no Slytherin.

Feeling a wave of exhaustion rush over me I rubbed my sore eyes with the palms of my hands. All of these thoughts were wearing me down even more. And I needed whatever strength I could muster so I could get by. Who knew how much longer Black could last anyway. My mindless thoughts were answered shortly to the sound of a rap at the door. Stepping inside, tall and regal, stood Professor Dumbledore.

"Miss. Crosse if you could please follow me. It seems Mr. Black's final hours are upon us, and he wishes now to be with you." I stood on shaky legs and nodded. This was it. This was the end.

We walked silently down the halls and up the staircases passing by mourning students who sat and cried in each other's arms, mourning the coming lose of Sirius Black. No tears for the wicked. It was as we neared the entrance of the Hospital Wing that my stomach began to do flips. Two men in black robes stood waiting, each with a shiny emblem on their robes. Aurors. They eyed me with both curiosity and disdain.

"You'll be leaving shortly after…" I nodded once more, words completely failing me as we entered the surprisingly deserted room. "I'll allow you your time alone with him. Come out when-"

"I will" I said in a hoarse voice and walked forward towards him. His shirt was off, and the covers laid strewn on the floor. Angry red welts covered the middle left area of his muscled torso. His heart. The recognition caught me off guard and made me stumble slightly as I got closer to his bed. Cautiously I took steps closer to his bedside before deciding at the last minute to take a seat in a chair near him. "You idiot Black." I choked out, touching the feverish skin of his forearm. I let one hand cover my mouth as I bowed my head and sobbed lightly.

"Ryleigh?" his eyes found me easily and once more a small smile tugged at his lips. "Hey beautiful." He attempted to reach a hand out towards me but I saw the tremendous strain it put on him and quickly placed my hand over his. His brow furrowed. "Your hurt," his eyes lingered on my bloodied lip.

"It's nothing," I said with a neat shrug. We stayed silent for awhile as Black slowly weaved his fingers into mine.

"Lay with me will you?" I gazed at him sadly about to protest, "Give a dying man some sort of peace?" his laugh was forced but I could feel the pain in his voice. My tears hadn't stopped running down my face but neither of us commented as I climbed into his bed. I lightly placed an arm on his stomach as I allowed him to drape his arm across me.

"Sirius?" my voice was soft in the silence of the vast room.

"Yes?" he asked, his voice suddenly much hoarser than before.

"I'm sorry." His hand which was resting on my arm gave it a light squeeze.

"I know." I tried to control my shaking that was suddenly consuming me along with my sobbing. "Come on now, no tears. You shouldn't be crying. If anyone it should be me. I was supposed to die in a blaze of glory, or some old wrinkled man. Not a striking young bloke from a broken sodding heart." His forced humor only intensified my sobs. "Shh, please," I managed to calm myself briefly as his other hand rose achingly slow towards the one that rested on his stomach. He took my own hand in his and moved it leisurely up his chest to those angry red welts that marked his beautiful body. His heart beat was weak. "This belongs to you," the simple statement rode along a shaky breath.

Silence.

"I could see you dying in a blaze of glory in the name of house elves and muggle-borns." I told him after minutes of silence. He laughed then. A real laugh that truly silenced my tears until he started to wheeze and cough. His heart beat faltered against my palm and I quickly sat up beside him as he gripped my hand tightly. "Sirius?"

His eyes were closed tightly as he tried to concentrate on breathing properly, but when he couldn't maintain control he looked up at me sadly. "I don't want to die," he said in a defeated voice. And his words hit me harder than I expected as a wave of clarity washed over me.

"I don't want to die either," I told him trying to catch my uneasy breath. He looked at me slightly dazed, as his heart tapped an erratic beat against his chest.

"Ryleigh?" he questioned insecurely. Hopefully.

"Stay with me Sirius. Don't die. I don't want to die either." I threw myself down on his body before he had a chance to reply and held him tightly to me. "I don't want to die, please Sirius. Stay, stay-Stay with me!" I sobbed uncontrollably into his shoulder.

"Mine?" the one worded question had me shaking once more.

"Yes" I answered in defeat. And then his arms were around me securely with a new found strength. His heart pounded out a steady rhythm between us as he stroked my back and hair fondly. My sobs lessened but I couldn't help the feeling of dread that crawled under my skin at my new decision. But things couldn't get worse, could they?

A/N: Do what you got to do!