Chapter 1: Return to the Park
Hey guys/girls/others, I'm back with another South Park and Smurfs crossover, and this one takes place in the new timeline and after the post-credit scene in the previous story. Now I'm sorry if it took a while, but (unfortunately) I have to do summer school for 14 days. I know, it sucks. But, I'll do the best I can to update this story until the grand finale. Also, before the events of this story, Clumsy encouraged the smurfettes to have houses on the ground (in the shape of mushrooms, of course). Anyways, I'm smurfing out the usual disclaimer.
Disclaimer: I do not own the smurfs, they are owned by Peyo. I do not own South Park or its characters, they are owned by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I only own Hector, Emily, SmurfPaper, SmurfWrench, SmurfPaint, SmurfGag, and SmurfKilt because they're my OCs. Samantha Himitsu appears courtesy of ModestNeko. SmurfAggie appears courtesy of I. M. Rally. I also do not own the song or lyrics featured, some lyrics might be changed. If the song is a parody, I do not own the song it's based on. Anyways, enjoy.
"There is a place," narrated SmurfPaper. "A place that knows no sadness. Where even feeling blue is a happy thing. A place inhabited by little blue beings three apples high. It lies deep in the Forbidden Forest, hidden away beyond three waterfalls. Most people believe this place is made up, only to be found in books or in children's imaginations. Well, we beg to differ."
Just then, two dragonflies, carrying smurfs on their backs and bags with their mouths, soared through the sky.
"Come on, Emily! You don't wanna miss this!" exclaimed Hector. His pet dragonfly, Misty, dove down as they went to Smurfy Grove.
"I'm going in!" yelled Emily, who was Hector's girlfriend (but you already know that). "Alright, I'll race you to Smurfy Grove!"
"Okay, I'll see you at the finish line, slowpoke!" said Hector.
The two of them passed through some branches and bushes, some of which fought back.
"Yeehaw! This smurf sure loves flying!" said Hector.
"Oh yeah! So excited!" said Emily, as she stirred her dragonfly around.
"Okay Emily, we're entering the village!" said Hector. And sure enough, they did enter Smurfy Grove. The duo then emptied the bags of smurfberries into a giant wooden basket. "I love smurfberries! Hey, hey! The blue ones are mine!"
"But Hector, all the smurfberries are blue this time of year!" said Emily.
"Exactly! Come on, let's get to rehearsal!" said Hector, to which they did.
In the center of Smurfy Grove, the smurfettes were rehearsing for their performance for their very first Blue Moon Festival, as they sang, of course, their very own theme song. In the middle of their rehearsal, Clumsy (the only male adult smurf in Smurfy Grove) was thrown gracefully in the air, and caught by the smurfettes.
Meanwhile, Hector and Emily were heading to rehearsal, and they were running late.
"In Smurfy Grove, each and every smurf plays their own special part."
As the duo ran, Hector almost tripped on a ladder that SmurfWrench was using.
"Whoa, Nellie!" exclaimed SmurfWrench, as she regained her balance.
"Oh, sorry about that, SmurfWrench!" said Hector.
"No worries, Hector! You two keep me employed!" said SmurfWrench, as the duo headed to the center of the village.
"Which gives the smurfs a sense of harmony."
"Hey, SmurfClover! Nice pies! Emily complemented, as she sniffed SmurfClover's pies.
"Thanks, Emily. I'm glad someone judges food before eating," said SmurfClover, facing Hector with that last part.
"I keep telling you, that's how being a food critic works," said Hector, as he and Emily continued along the path. He then noticed two smurfettes with a painted banner.
"And tranquility."
"Great sign, girls, could use a little more blue, though!" suggested Emily.
"Thanks for the idea, Emily!" said SmurfJade, as the duo continued along the path.
"Whether it's SmurfWrench the builder, SmurfMelody the musician, SmurfClover, SmurfMint…"
"Hey, SmurfPaper!" said Hector, as he and Emily ran past SmurfPaper.
"Hello, Hector, hello, Emily! Just rehearsing the intro for the Blue Moon Festival!" said SmurfPaper, as the duo walked past her.
When Hector looked back at SmurfPaper, he bumped into SmurfTulip. "Incoming!" said Hector, as he and SmurfTulip rolled on a barrel, causing SmurfTulip to bump into SmurfPaint's ice sculpture of SmurfWillow.
"Oh mon Dieu! Be careful with ze stuff you break, you fuel!" said SmurfPaint, in her French accent. The pieces of the ice broke, landing on SmurfTulip's pizza.
"I just invented frozen pizzas! Genius!" laughed SmurfTulip. Hector took a slice from the pizza, and ate it.
"Pretty good! Keep up the good work, SmurfTulip!" said Hector, as he and Emily continued down the path… again. The duo then slid on a table (just for fun), which led them to the outside of SmurfGag's house. "Hi, SmurfGag!"
"Hi, Hector! Hi, Emily!" said SmurfGag, as she walked outside with a present in her hands. "Hey, what do you get when you cross a smurf with a cow?"
"I don't know, what?" asked Emily.
"Blue cheese!" answered SmurfGag, causing the three smurfs to laugh. "By the way, I got you a present." She handed it to Emily.
"Thanks, SmurfGag," said Emily, just as SmurfBegonia walked by. "Hey SmurfBegonia, could you open this for me?"
"Sure thing!" said SmurfBegonia. The present then exploded in her face, causing Hector, Emily, and SmurfGag to laugh.
"Anyways, see ya girls later," said Emily, as she and Hector made haste to the middle of the village. Just in time, they made it to rehearsals.
"Hey, SmurfMelody. Hey, SmurfKilt," greeted Hector. He was about to cross the bridge to get to rehearsal, but he was stopped by SmurfMelody and SmurfKilt.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Cool your jet, sailor," said SmurfMelody.
"Hey, what's going on? Isn't everyone going to rehearsal?" asked Emily.
"What can I say, Emily? Your boyfriend ain't on the list," said SmurfMelody, showing them the list of smurfs.
"Are you blind? My name's right there," said Hector, pointing to the bottom of the list.
"Right, under 'Do not let in Hector'" said SmurfKilt, as she showed the rest of the bottom half. Just then, SmurfBlossom (feeling smarter than usual) joined in the conversation.
"I think you two don't have the verbal skills required to explain this predicament correctly," said SmurfBlossom, as she took the list from SmurfKilt.
"Uh oh, she's in geek mode," said Emily.
"You see, Hector, the other smurfs don't want to dance with you because you like to show off and for fear of getting 'fractures', if you know what I mean," explained SmurfBlossom.
"How could anybody think that?" asked Hector, which caused him to accidentally slap SmurfMelody and SmurfKilt. "Oops."
"Come on, just give him a chance. This is a once in a blue moon occasion… No pun intended," said Emily.
"Sorry, Emily, but rules are rules. But, he can stay and watch the rehearsal," said SmurfMelody.
"That'll do," said Emily, followed by her and Hector sitting next to the bridge in folding chairs that Hector had in his magic sack.
"That smack is gonna leave a big blue bruise," said SmurfBlossom, followed by her letting out a little chuckle… right before SmurfMelody and SmurfKilt kicked her off into the air.
"WonderFul! Beautiful!" cheered SmurfAggie, as her fellow smurfettes danced a great performance. "Marvelous."
Just then, SmurfBlossom landed on the other smurfettes in the middle of the rehearsal, causing some of them to fall onto each other like dominos, while some landed in the water and off the stage.
"Cut! Cut! Cut! SmurfBlossom, it's a dance, not dominoes," scolded SmurfAggie, before taking a deep breath and calming down. "Okay, let's take a five minute break."
"We'll help out!" said Hector, as he and Emily went to the stage to help everysmurf get back on their feet.
"As happy and as perfect as life in Smurfy Grove is," continued SmurfPaper. "Even sunshine and butterflies must have their dark clouds. And while none of us have one, Hector and Emily have a dark cloud that goes by one name: Kyle, the evil Jewish boy." That last part caused everyone to gasp, and the music to get all hellish. "Okay, Hector, I think we get the point you're trying to make."
"Sorry, but the mere mention of Kyle puts me in the mood for hellish music, just to set the mood," said Hector. "Anyways, is there anything I can do to help?"
"Well, you could get some smurfroot from SmurfWillow so we can make some smurfroot mud packs," said SmurfStorm.
"Okay, Mom. Come on, Emily," said Hector, followed by the duo heading to SmurfWillow's house.
At SmurfWillow's house, SmurfWillow was putting some ingredients in a cauldron, when Hector and Emily walked in.
"Hey, Willow, what's going on?" asked Hector.
"It's that blue moon time of year again, Hector," said SmurfWillow. "I have to smurf some magic. Summon a vision and see what our future holds. I must get the visioning potion just right. The magic is always strongest during the blue moon." She then put one last drop of a potion in the cauldron. Suddenly, a colorful cloud rose, showing what would happen for the Blue Moon Festival. The cloud showed all the smurfettes playing, dancing, eating, and singing musical numbers together.
"So far, so good. Lots of smiles and smurfberries," described Emily.
"Dad and I haven't caused any property damage. That's always good," said Hector, calmly… that was until the vision showed a familiar face. "No, it can't be… Kyle!"
"Vision, pause!" said Emily, to which the vision actually paused. "Hey, it actually worked." She and Hector then examined the Jew's deformed face. "This can't be, Hector killed him, I saw it with my own blue eyes."
"Well, it looks like this boss fight has a final phase," said Hector, causing Willow and Emily to give him a confused look. "You know, like how a boss fight in a video game has a different way of attacking depending on how many times you damage them.. Oh, forget it. Vision, continue."
The vision then showed Hector in his dark dragon form, killing someone.
"Well, at least we know he'll be gone after this," said SmurfWillow, in shock, but somehow staying calm.
The vision continued to show more of the smurfettes, locked up in tiny cages by Kyle, and the vision ended in a few smurfettes (plus Hector and Clumsy) being sucked into a blue water-like portal.
"Oh no, what have I done now?" whispered Hector, to which he just shook off the feeling. Many years ago, he vowed never to use his dark dragon form ever again, after it almost killed his friends (though, he still wishes it killed Kyle), looks like he might have to break that vow. "Well, with that out of the way, do you have any smurfroot, Grandma?"
"Yes, my supplies of smurfroot is near the sink. And don't call me grandma, it makes me feel older than usual," said SmurfWillow. "Wait, shouldn't you two be rehearsing for the Blue Moon Festival?"
"Oh, you know. A couple smurfs got smacked in the face, and some of the performers tripped like dominoes, so Mom sent me and Emily to make some smurfroot mud packs to tone down everyone's swelling," said Hector, as he checked for smurfroot. "Willow, you're smurf out of smurfroot. I'll go pick some."
"No!" said SmurfWillow, as she stopped Hector in his tracks. "There could be danger out in those fields. I'll get the smurfroot. You stay in the village. We don't want anything bad to happen to our fellow smurfs."
"Don't worry, Willow, I'll be fine. Besides, a vision won't always turn out the way you expect," said Hector, who had a point.
"Okay, you can get the smurfroot, but take Emily with you," said SmurfWillow, followed by the duo heading for the smurfroot fields. "I just hope he's right about this."
At the smurfroot fields…
Hector and Emily were just picking smurfroot.
"Just stay in the village, Hector," said Hector, doing his impression of SmurfWillow. "Look at all of this smurfroot, they're all gonna be so proud of us."
"I know. Doesn't a smurfy day like this make you feel like… bursting into song," said Emily, taking a wild guess what Hector was gonna do next.
Hector: Somebody has to be so smurfy!
The one that everysmurf here wants to see!
Someone has to be more smurfy than the rest!
Someone here has to be so smurfy they're the best!
Somebody has to be so smurfy
Someone here has to be me!
"Since when are you so smurfy?" asked Emily.
"Well, in that case, you can sing the next verse. Take it away, Emily," said Hector, to which Emily did.
Emily: Sometimes you have to smurf your own horn!
To let the other smurfs know that you're near!
Sometimes you have to do some damage and just shout!
In order to ensure they're not smurfing any doubt!
Both: Somebody has to be so smurfy!
Say hello! The smurfy ones are here!
Once the two stopped singing, Hector's spider senses (a side effect of his Spider-Kid suit, after he used it for too long) started tingling.
"Hector, what are you sensing?" asked Emily.
"Get Back!" yelled Hector, as he carried Emily out of the way of gunshots. The duo then looked up, only to be greeted by… Kyle.
"Hello, old friends! Fancy meeting you in the middle ages," said Kyle, in a robotic voice tone thanks to the Darth Vader-like suit his dad used to revive him. The suit had given Kyle one last life, and just enough time to get his revenge.
"RUN!" yelled Emily, as the duo ran back to Smurfy Grove as fast as they could with their super speed (a side effect of being human for more than a day).
Back in Smurfy Grove…
"So, what did you see in your vision, Willow?" asked Clumsy, as he and SmurfStorm accompanied Willow to hear about the vision.
"Nothing apocalyptic, really," lied SmurfWillow. "Everything's going to be just fine."
"Perfect," said SmurfStorm, with a smile on her face. "Another year Hector and Emily don't have to worry about that mean, ugly…"
"Kyle!" shouted Hector and Emily, in unison, as they ran towards the 3 smurfs.
"We knew who she meant, you two," said Clumsy, with a smirk.
"No, no! Kyle!" said Hector, as he pointed to Kyle trying to break through the village wall.
"What did you two do this time?!" asked SmurfStorm.
"We, kinda, sorta, accidentally led him to Smurfy Grove!" confessed Emily, as Kyle started crushing one of the new mushroom houses, while everysmurf started to run.
"Smurf for your lives!" shouted SmurfAggie.
"Everybody skedaddle!" yelled SmurfWrench.
"Into the forest, smurfs!" commanded SmurfWillow.
"Come on, Kids!" said SmurfStorm, as she and Clumsy took Hector and Emily by the hand, and started running into the Forbidden Forest.
"Sound the alarm, SmurfGag," called SmurfWillow, to which SmurfGag used her siren horn to sound the alarm.
SmurfWillow grabbed their emergency smurfberry supplies, followed by Hector setting off a trap… but it missed Kyle.
"Oh, Hector. Your primitive ways are useless against me and the modern world," said Kyle. Little did he know that the little log was part of a bigger trap. Hector then winked at you, the viewers (or readers, in this case). "I laugh at them."
"In 3, 2, 1," counted Hector. And right on cue, a giant log knocked Kyle right out of Smurfy Grove. "How's that for a primitive trap, koshur boy?" He then ran into the forest with the rest of the smurfs.
Once Hector caught up with his parents, they saw the blue moon pointing at the middle water.
"What the smurf is going on?" asked Emily. Suddenly, a portal opened from the waterfall, and began sucking the smurfs like a vacuum cleaner. "Guys, a little help!"
"I've got you, Emily!" said Hector, as he grabbed Emily by the hands. As the portal sucked him in, SmurfStorm, Clumsy, SmurfWillow, SmurfBlossom, SmurfLily, SmurfAggie, SmurfKilt, SmurfWrench, SmurfPaint, and SmurfMelody joined in to help pull them back.
"Oh no! The vision!" murmured SmurfWillow, fearing that the vision has just begun.
"Don't let go!" yelled SmurfLily, but the portal's force was too strong.
"Look out for ze hole!" warned SmurfPaint.
"I think it's more of a portal," said SmurfBlossom.
"Smurf up! It's a hole!" snapped SmurfMelody, causing her to almost lose her balance. The portal became stronger and almost pulled them in, but SmurfWillow grabbed onto a stick just in time… except the stick was being held by Kyle.
"Hello, you must be Hector's grandmother," said Kyle, which really pissed off SmurfWillow. "You'll all make a delicious snack."
"Leave Willow alone MOTHER SMURFER!" yelled Hector, followed by him shooting Kyle in the hand, causing him to let go of the stick, sending the smurfs through the portal.
At South Park, Colorado, MODERN WORLD…
The smurfs landed at a tiny river, surrounded by grass covered in snow. Luckily, none of them were soaking wet or freezing cold.
"That.. was.. GREAT! Let's have another go!" suggested SmurfKilt.
"Smurf no! I'm gonna use my magic to close this portal so captain kosher can't follow us," said SmurfAggie. With a wave of her hand, she was able to close the portal. "We better get outta here, it won't stay closed for long."
"One problem, we don't know where here is," said SmurfBlossom.
"Correction, you don't know where here is, but I do. Come take a look at this," said Hector, standing on a rock. The others then climbed up the rock, and were shocked at what they were seeing. It was a remote little, redneck, drunkass, mountain town named South Park.
"Oh, my, Smurf!" said Clumsy, in amazement.
"Where the smurf are we?" asked SmurfMelody.
"South smurfing Park, Colorado. That's where," said Emily.
"Don't you two visit this place a lot?" asked SmurfKilt.
"We do, but I think it's time for our friend's to find out who we really are," said Hector, in a deep voice.
"Oh, he's doing his Batman voice. I told you to check the age rating, Stormy," said SmurfWillow, as they all started walking to the town.
"I checked the age rating for The Batman, and it said PG-13, plus there was only one f-bomb and only a few drops of blood, he didn't learn anything he wasn't suppose learn, that's what me and Clumsy are for," said SmurfStorm.
"Hold on, when did I agree to take the fall for something you did?" asked Clumsy.
"When you married me. It's called a hustle sweetheart," said SmurfStorm.
"Wow, she hustled you good," said SmurfAggie.
"Will you guys be quiet, I feel a song reprise coming on," said Hector, to which he did.
Hector: Somebody has to be so smurfy
That's just how these things are, you must agree!
We get to Smurf the world and travel far away!
While the other smurfs stay where they always have to stay!
Somebody has to be so smurfy
Someone here has to be me!
Someone here has to be me!
By the time he finished singing, it was nighttime and they were at Stan Marsh's house (which is where Stan lives after his dad moved his weed business to the house they lived in before he was banned in China).
"Okay, Stan's parents are on vacation so we can stay with Stan until we find a way back home," said Hector, as he led the smurfs inside through the doggie door. "Try to keep a low profile, Stan likes to play Pokémon games with his girlfriend, Samantha."
As they walked into the house, they found out that Stan and Samantha were indeed playing a Pokémon game (Pokémon: Let's go Pikachu to be precise). The smurfs did their best to keep quiet…. but then Hector let out a big fart, which caught the attention of Stan and Samantha.
"Yikes! Quick, hide in that box," said Hector, to which they all hid in an Amazon package box.
"Why did you have to fart so loud, laddie?" whispered SmurfKilt.
"I couldn't hold it in much longer, plus I thought it would be funny," whispered Hector, the other smurfs were not amused. Just then, the box they were in started shaking. "Oh crap."
Just then, the box was opened by Samantha, who (along with the Smurfs) screamed in terror.
"Run, Smurfs!" shouted SmurfWillow, as they all jumped out of the box and went in smurfintine formation, scattering all over the living room.
"Get away from my girlfriend!" said Stan, as he tried whacking the Smurfs with an umbrella.
"You need to listen to us," said Hector, trying to talk to Stan. "Maybe a third song reprise will help."
Hector: Sometimes you have to get up early!
If there's someplace you really wanna Smurf!
Sometimes you have to Smurf awake before it's dawn!
Sometimes you're up and out before you start the song!
Somebody has to be so smurfy!
And now you know that it's me!
Now you know it's just me!
Now you know that it's me!
By the time Hector stopped singing, Stan and Samantha immediately knew who he was.
"Hector, is that you?" asked Stan, as he put down the umbrella. Hector nodded, Stan and Samantha only knew one person who could sing like the smurf standing in front of them.
"How come you're a Smurf?" asked Samantha.
"It's a long story, I'll tell you in the morning," said Hector. With that, every smurf was put in the box with a blanket, causing them to fall asleep.
Not a bad way to start a new crossover, if I do say so myself. Anyways, I'm sorry it took me so long to write this, like I said in the author's note at the top, I'm busy with summer school so I'll try to release chapters of this story as fast as I can. The song featured is a parody of Somebody has to be the favorite from Thomas and Friends Journey beyond sodor (both of which I don't own). I decided to include reprises because that's how the actual song is treated. Anyways, see you guys/girls/others in the next chapter.