Chapter 2: Reintroductions

Disclaimer: I do not own the smurfs, they are owned by Peyo. I do not own South Park or its characters, they are owned by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I only own Hector, Emily, SmurfPaper, SmurfWrench, SmurfPaint, SmurfGag, and SmurfKilt because they're my OCs. Samantha Himitsu appears courtesy of ModestNeko. SmurfAggie appears courtesy of I. M. Rally. I also do not own the song or lyrics featured, some lyrics might be changed. If the song is a parody, I do not own the song it's based on. Anyways, enjoy.

Once everyone was awake in the morning, they all had pancakes for breakfast. Once everyone was done with breakfast, Stan began to question many things about Hector and Emily.

"Okay, let me get this straight. You two are smurfs and you never told anyone?" asked Stan.

"That's right," said Hector.

"You're being chased by Kyle after he rises from the dead."

"Yep."

"The only way to get back to your home is to go through a portal that was opened by a literal blue moon."

"Yes."

"And your dragon form is a thing because of a prophecy that says you're the chosen one."

"Actually it's because I was the first boy to be born in Smurfy Grove, but that sums it up pretty good."

Stan sighed. "And how come you never told anyone about this?"

"First off, nobody asked me. And second, I swore to keep it a secret so none of you could get your asses handed to you on goddamn golden platter."

"Take it easy, laddie, it was just a wee fib," said SmurfKilt.

"Yeah, one that's been in the depths of my mothersmurfing soul for forty fucking years," said Hector, shocking Samantha and Stan with those last three words.

"Wait, did you say forty years? We've only known you for four years," said Samantha.

"Well Smurfs age slower than humans. One decade for us is one year for you," explained Clumsy. "Besides, if he told you, the government would be busting your asses at Area 51."

"Okay, am I the only one who's weirded out by smurfs swearing?" asked Stan.

"You get used to it after a while," said SmurfLily.

"Okay," said Samantha. She then faced Hector. "So, Hector, which of these Smurfs are your parents?"

"That would be me and Clumsy," said SmurfStorm, putting her arm around Clumsy. "I'm SmurfStorm, Hector's mother."

"Wow, he wasn't kidding when he said his mom was sexy unlike the average South Park mom," said Samantha, causing SmurfStorm to blush bright red.

"Aww, thanks. My body doesn't look sexy on its own," said SmurfStorm, feeling proud of herself.

"Okay, but was Hector's birth an accident or was that a lie as well?" asked Stan.

"Oh no, that's actually true. Clumsy didn't use a condom, so he got Stormy pregnant on his birthday," said SmurfAggie.

"Best birthday present I ever got," said Clumsy, before remembering that SmurfAggie. "Oh, by the way, this is SmurfAggie, she's Hector's godmother. She's also a human from another dimension."

"Okay, that sounds like an interesting topic that we'll get back to later," said Stan, as he faced Hector. "Anyways, do you have a plan to kill Kyle?"

"Well… not yet. But so far it involves a reunion of all our friends," said Hector. "And also, some lunchables."

"But you just ate human sized Mickey Mouse pancakes," said SmurfPaint.

"I was gonna share," said Hector. "Now let's go find our friends, starting with Cartman."

"Fine, let me just hijack my dad's car," said Stan, causing the smurfs to gasp. "I'm kidding, I have the keys right here. Now let's go."

"I call shotgun," said Hector, to which the other smurfs looked at him. "That means the passenger seat upfront." The other smurfs seemed to understand now.

One car ride to Cartman's house later…

Once they were at Cartman's house, Stan knocked on the front door, to which Cartman answered.

"Hey Stan, hey Samantha, what's up?" asked Cartman. He then noticed that Stan was wearing a backpack. "What's with the backpack?"

"We'll show you?" said Stan, as he and Samantha walked in and sat on the couch. He then opened the backpack, revealing the smurfs, followed by him pointing at Hector and Emily. "You're not going to believe this, but these smurfs are Hector and Emily."

Cartman took a few minutes to process this. "Actually I kinda believe it," said Cartman, which surprised everyone. "I mean, I once read in a book about the legend of the Belgium dragon, and it doesn't say anything about the Belgium dragon being human, only this image." He then showed a page from a book called Dragons of the World, which showed an image of the prophecy that Hector learned about all those years ago.

Stan and Samantha looked at Hector. "What? The prophecy never said anything about me being a human," said Hector.

"But you said that you're the Belgium dragon because you're the first boy born in your village," said Stan.

"He never said zat iz waz a human village," said SmurfPaint.

"Then how do you explain Clumsy being Hector's father?" asked Samantha.

"He never said I was from the village he was born in," said Clumsy.

"Okay we get it, Hector isn't as honest as he says he is," said Cartman, who was getting pissed off just by listening to them arguing. "Besides, he was probably trying to protect us from danger. Like an evil Jew who he FUCKING BURNED THE FACE OF!"

"I only did that out of self-defense," said Hector. "And I did to avenge Bebe. Plus, Wendy's the one who suggested I burn his face."

Just then, Wendy came down the stairs. "Did somebody say my name?" asked Wendy, once she was down the stairs. She then noticed the smurfs on the couch. "Am I on acid again, or are there actually smurfs on the couch?"

"You seriously don't see that Hector and Emily and their Smurf friends?" asked Stan.

"I'll believe it when I hear Hector sing," said Wendy.

"You're serious? We're lost in South Park, we don't have any money cause we're a communist society, and my vocal cords are starting to ache! I'd be surprised if you ask 'Who's Hector' just to start a song," said Hector, who was very irritated. And just like that, the song started.

Wendy: Hector? You're Hector? Well, I know who are Hector is,

But why should I let this Hector simply hurry on his way?

Hector? You're Hector? Speak up now I'm asking you,

Where's Hector? Which Hector? What have you got to say?

Hector: I'm Hector, I'm a blue Smurf, we're from our home of Smurfy Grove,

We hid from Kyle with the help of an actual blue moon,

We don't know why we stopped here, apart from the portal that's near,

So we need help to open it again…

Oh, what do you want to know?

The Smurfs: We're lost, we're lost, and Hector is his name!

He wanted to celebrate but now we just have Kyle to blame!

The song seemed to be working, but then came the next verse.

Wendy: Hector? Where's Hector? I've never met this Hector,

All the humans: Nor me. I know. We're we. That's true. We're talking to our friends!

Wendy: Now Hector, little Hector. You say that's what your name is,

But I still don't know who you are, so tell me something else!

Hector: I'm Hector, I'm a blue Smurf, you kept saying I was evil,

And maybe I am evil because I'm the one who killed your parents.

All the Smurfs: yeah!

Hector: But since you got an Xbox, that requires internet

So I killed your parents which I thought would make a change.

All the Smurfs: We're lost, we're lost. And you may think you think you're the boss.

If we don't get back home then that evil Jew will just be crossed!

Wendy: Well, if you like to travel on, you must do one thing more,

You have to tell me one thing that our Hector has done before!

Hector: Something new?

Wendy: Something new!

Hector: Does it have to be true?

Wendy: It has to be true!

All the Smurfs: We're lost, we're lost, we haven't got a clue!

We don't know what to say at all, we don't know what to do!

"Would you guys be quiet! I'm trying to think," said Hector.

"What's the point of asking for help if she doesn't remember your name," said SmurfGadget, which gave Hector an idea.

"That's it!" said Hector.

Hector: I'm Hector, I'm Hector, but you only know one Hector!

Wendy: Yes, I only know one Hector.

Hector: But that guy's me it's true!

I'm Hector, I'm Hector.

And if you don't remember me, then when I said I was Hector,

I was telling you something true!

Wendy: Something true?

Hector: And having told you that, this song is through!

"Okay, now I believe you," said Wendy. "Now, what do you need us to do for you?"

"Get all the Freedom Pals to the secret base, we're gonna need all the help we can get," said Hector, and that's exactly what Wendy did.

Okay, don't be surprised if I took a long time to get this updated. It's hard to write a story on an iPad, which is how I'm writing this. Besides, I think it's turning out great. The song here is a parody of "Who's Thomas?" (which I do not own) from Thomas and Friends Journey Beyond Sodor (which I don't own). What? I like me some Thomas and friends, they got some really catchy songs. Next time I promise it won't be a parody of a Thomas and friends song… you'll see.