"So basically he's been a pain in my arse for the past couple years, harassing me about dating him, and then there was a potions accident, which is why I have to be with him?" I paused, "And I had a boyfriend practically the entire time! Eugh! I knew I didn't like him for some reason." I complained with a huff, pacing the length of the room as Lily watched me anxiously.
"Pretty much. Here, why don't you come sit down and we can try and get you to remember some more things." She said to me in a sympathetic voice that made my throat tighten and eyes sting.
"Right," and then she began to list off the professor's I had once I was seated next to her, and what we had just learned in those classes. In truth it was doing some good, those simple facts helped me to remember things. But it didn't matter in the slightly. I was completely unfocused, and I couldn't keep my mind off of the kiss Sirius and I had shared. It felt to good to be so completely wrong.
"Are you listening to me?" asked Lily's shrill voice, snapping me out of my reverie.
"Sorry," I responded sheepishly, "I remember that we've just been starting that lecture on the troll revolution for Professor Binn's class, and Michael Flint drooled all over his assignment during class." Lily smiled excitedly at my returning memory before we both shared a look of disgust.
"He's such a pig!" Lily exclaimed before we both busted out in giggles, and for that moment it was like nothing was wrong. I wasn't being forced to be with someone, I had never lost my memory, and I most certainly hadn't snogged Sirius Black. "Ryleigh?" Lily asked, after we had calmed, in a small voice.
"Yea?"
"Do you remember how the potion accident happened? It's just, in the hospital wing the other day…you mentioned James being a part of it." Her hands fisted the material of her school skirt tightly as she awaited my reply. My eyes softened as I gazed at her.
"No, I still can't remember that. But I do remember the time Sirius charmed my hair green." My nose scrunched in distaste. "Prat" I mumbled under my breath.
"Of course," she said shaking her head with a sad smile on her lips, "it was silly of me to even ask."
"Maybe," I chewed my bottom of my lip in concentration, "maybe we could go to the potions room where it happened. I mean, you saying and telling me things helped to jog my memory. Maybe actually seeing where it happened will help me remember." Her face lit up momentarily before her protests began.
"I promised Sirius we wouldn't leave,"
"What! Why would you do a thing like that?" I said reaching over to slap her arm, "And who the hell does he think he is? My keeper?"
"Stop being so over dramatic you twit," Lily exclaimed batting my hand away. "He has a good reason for not wanting you to be wandering around."
"Oh and I'd just love to hear them, please, do explain." crossing my arms over my chest I stared at Lily hard who only rolled her eyes.
"Well, first off, you were just severely injured after you fell off your broom and into the forbidden forest. With the evidence of the incident still etched all over you with your baggy eyes and scarred stomach."
"My eyes are baggy?" I interrupted worriedly.
"Nothing that can't be fixed- number two has to be the fact that the biggest drama just went down in Hogwarts history between you and Sirius, and everyone knows. All the girls in this school hate you because of what you put the pathetic little prat through and now, and this is the best part, now you are with him. You are with him indefinitely. So the lynching mob is probably standing by in the corridor as we speak with their pitch forks and torches." We sat in silence for a few moments as she inspected her nails calmly allowing the words to sink in.
"You may have a point." I finally conceded. "But I don't want to stay in this room, and I want to remember what happened. I need to remember Lils." So I can forget about our kiss and remember why I hate him. "Can't we do some sort of sneak operation?"
"I really don't think it's a good idea,"
"But I'll finally be able to tell you what Potter did," I pleaded scooting closer to her.
"Oh and how would you suggest sneaking past all the girls in this school without being jumped? That's a good 7 floors we have to go down to get to that room!" think, think, think…
"A disillusionment charm?" I suggested hesitantly. As her eyes widened I knew I struck galleons. "Come on Lil, you're the smartest witch in our generation. You can do it."
"Well," she licked her lips in anticipation, "I have been doing some light reading on some of the advanced charms."
"Excellent! You think you can pull it off on me? I can trail behind you." I asked eagerly.
"Oh Ryleigh I've never tried it before, I'm really not sure if I can do it!" she cried.
"Well there's got to be something else then," this time it was Lily who rose and paced the room.
"Oh! Oh I know! A notice-me-not spell. Yes, stand up, come on, who knows when your keeper will be back." Lily brandished her wand with a smirk.
"Keeper my arse," and before the words left my mouth she had cast the spell. "Right then, did it work?"
Lily looked around befuddled for a second before nodding confidently to herself.
"Follow me," she said in a clear voice and we left my new chambers and headed off downwards toward the dungeons.
"I should have grabbed my thicker cloak, and could you not walk so fast," I hissed near Lily's ear as we made our way past a noisy group of 3rd year Ravenclaws. Her lack of response made me realize that maybe her spell might have been a little too good and suddenly I was lagging behind. With a stitch in my side I tried limping along a bit faster, at least fast enough to keep the red head in my sight. This distance was kept through the remainder of our journey until the last staircase.
I had to pause to catch my breath when I truly started to feel the deep chill that exuded from the walls creep into my skin. Why hadn't I brought my thicker cloak? The dungeons are the worst part of the bloody castle. And yet, even worse than that was that the pain medication was starting to wear off. This kind of work out was seriously wracking havoc on my body. Then, of course because something worse always has to happen, a group of high pitched chattering echoed off the stone walls. I pressed myself against the wall and started making my way towards a suit of armor when a herd of Slytherin girls came rushing up the stairs. I held my breath, not wanting to make a sound, and was lucky enough that the spell stayed intact. They girls passed and swiftly I started making my way down again. It was more important than ever to get to that damn potions room. I didn't think I could make it past another group of snakes.
Finally I reached the room, Lily waiting impatiently in there, saying my name in a harsh whisper with her wand ready. I said her name, but when she didn't turn my way I knew the spell was still in effect. Thinking quickly I moved towards a cabinet and pushed one of the glass jars filled with salamander tails to the ground. It shattered and she whipped around in my direction. With wide arch's she repeated the counter-spell and once more I was visible.
"I've been waiting in here for the past seven minutes!"
"You walk too fast!" I countered, "And hello! I am slightly sore from my fall,"
"Well I told you-"
"Wait." I interrupted softly as my eyes settled unknowingly on the table where the boys had been making the potion.
"What is it?" Lily asked concerned.
"That's where they were making the potion, I remember," and as quickly as a flash flood memories of the dreaded event and past few days suddenly came back to me. Watching Sirius hurt James, refusing the Headmaster, being exiled and hunted by the school. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths as the emotion of the past few days overwhelmed me. Then wiry arms wrapped around me, rubbing my back softly as soft sobs escaped my lips.
"It'll be alright, shh," Lily whispered.
"No it won't," I rasped out pulling back, "he's ruined my entire life. He took away every choice, and opportunity. How am I suppose to learn and discover things about myself to make me grow up if I have him breathing down my neck and shielding me from the world at every chance? I don't even like him!" I wiped the tears from my check in frustration, "The only reason I said yes to that stupid oaf is because I didn't want to wind up in Askaban for the rest of my life!"
Lily stayed silent, her face going pale at my declaration and for a moment we stood in a tense silence.
"Tell me how you really feel Crosse," said a rumbling deep voice from behind me. Goosebumps erupted across my freezing flesh as I stood rigid. "Beat it Evans," and Lily scampered past me and out the door shooting me an apologetic look.
"What a friend you are," I hissed at her, but she didn't even spare me an extra glance. The door shut after a moment with a resounding thud before Sirius spoke again.
"Nothing to say?" he questioned in a dark voice.
"Actually I do," I said pulling on my Gryffindor courage, "my last boyfriend was a much better kisser than you." Sirius' eyes darkened and immediately he was standing in front of me, a firm grip on my upper arms. "Let go of me!" I yelped starting to struggle, albeit weakly, in his hold. He stared down at me hard before looking towards the ceiling and heaving a big sigh.
"We'll discuss this in our room," he finally said and then swung an arm down towards my legs. Sweeping me off my feet quite literally he proceeded to carry me out of the potions room.
"Like hell we will," I grumbled and began wiggling around in his hold.
"Stop fighting me," he growled down at me while giving me a shake. I squeezed my eyes shut as my tears from only just minutes ago began to resurface. A feeling of defeat started to build within my chest and suddenly I broke. "Don't…don't cry, please." He said slowly his pace slowing dramatically as he stared down at me. And then I did something that neither of us expected. I turned in towards his warm body and hide my face on his shoulder, throwing my arm around his neck in the process. "Ryleigh…aw come on now." He lowered my feet to the ground so I was standing instead of cradled in his arms, but I didn't move my head or arm from their position. "Don't cry love, please, I can't stand to see you upset." But I could only shake my head in response, and so he hoisted me back up into his arms and we continued on our way.
Once we reached our room he set me down on our bed. I had calmed down considerably but my feelings hadn't changed.
"We need to talk about us," Sirius said lowly as he leaned against a bedpost, his gaze still intensely upon me.
"Where's my medicine?" I asked softly, ignoring his question. I didn't even see him move before he was in front of me with a few small bottles of disgusting looking liquid. But I didn't complain this time, I simply grabbed bottle after bottle and threw them back one after the other.
"Ryleigh-" he began.
"No." I said in a strong voice, and finally meeting his gaze head on. "No I do not want to talk about this horrible situation you've put us in. I'm tired, I'm cold, and I feel like absolute shite. Talking to you isn't going to do me any better so I'm changing into some pajama's and going to bed." With pursed lips he watched me fetch my cloths and go into the bathroom to change. Yet, of course, Sirius being Sirius, just as I was removing my shirt he came walking in.
"What the hell do you think you're doing!" I screamed grabbing my shirt and covering it over my bra clad chest.
"What do you mean that prick you dated was a better kisser than me!" he shouted back, pointing an accusing finger at me that left my mouth agape.
"You have got to be kidding me. Get. Out!" he came up to me swiftly yanking me towards him.
"I'll have you know plenty of girls would love to be in your position right now-"
"Well I'm not one of them. I don't want this, I don't want you-"
"I love you!" he roared over our argument. I stilled completely breathing heavily as he captured my eyes with his own.
"Sirius…" I slowly shook my head, not able to find the right words to get me out of this awkward situation.
"I do," he said desperately trying to hold my eyes again. His head dropped and suddenly he fell to his knees. "I love you." His head rested right below my breasts on my abdomen, and one arm wrapped around my waist while the other snaked its way around the back of my thigh. "And I'm sorry about this," his lips ghosted over the pale scar on my abdomen where I had been pierced by the large branch. "I promise I won't let anything like this happen to you again. I'll protect you even if it costs me my life." He sighed helplessly, "I just want you to feel what I feel for you, so badly." He stopped then, and I felt his warm tears on my stomach, and his body shaking lightly.
This time it was I who raised my head to the sky, asking whoever was up there to help me, somehow, get through this. When no answer arrived I merely placed a hand on top of his head and stroked his silky hair.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it's been awhile but I'm just starting on my Christmas break and I don't have any homework to do!!! So expect so more chapter through the rest of December up until early January!!!!! Oh by the way, still don't own any of these wonderful characters, besides Ryleigh of course