** CHAPTER 43 **

It'd been a long day, and Cuddy was exhausted. She was climbing the stairs of her front steps slowly when she spotted the familiar silhouette of a man, seated in the dark on the bench beside her front door. He promptly stood up as soon as she approached. Even though she felt no fear, a rush of mingled emotions took over her whole body and caused her heart to speed up in her chest. Taking a deep breath, she rummaged in her purse as calmly as she could to get her key and unlocked the door as soon as she found them. Despite the fact that he was standing in the dark, she could still sense the intensity of his stare on her, and it made her feel strangely uncomfortable.

"How long have you been waiting here?" she finally asked, looking down at her hand, avoiding turning her head in his direction.

"I don't know," House answered throatily.

"Why didn't you come inside?"

"I don't have a key."

"But you know where the spare one is."

"I do. But you wanted us to stay apart tonight, so I didn't want to intrude," he said with a hint of bitterness in his tone.

"Then why did you come?" she replied, a little edgily.

He stepped out of the shadowed corner and came under the porch's faint light, allowing her to finally see his features. He looked weary and a bit sad.

"Because-" he started in an unsure whisper, "I want to have that conversation, now, with you."

"What conversation?"

"Just open the door and let me in… please."

Cuddy glanced in his direction and caught a glimpse of his begging, distraught look out of the corner of her eyes. It made her gasp, and she hastily pushed the door open, stepping inside and moving to the side to let him in. House entered after her, a bit hesitantly, and stopped at the threshold, searching for a sign into her emerald eyes.

His gaze was so powerful that it made her shudder and sent tingles in the small of her back. Cuddy slowly let go of the doorknob and House shut the door closed, resting his cane against the wall before carefully approaching her. When he finally stood in front of her, he reached out his hand and took her purse and briefcase out of her hand, leaning down to put them on the floor, his eyes never letting go of hers. She was staring at him, perfectly still and silent and he tentatively wrapped his arms around her waist, enveloping her into his embrace. She sighed in abandon, and he finally claimed her mouth, gently pressing his lips against her lips.

House kissed her softly at first and Cuddy parted her lips to let him taste her sweetened juice with his tongue. For a moment, he felt her body unwind, almost give way inside his arms, and he practically had to lift her up to help her keep her balance. He held her possessively against him, placing one hand flat between her shoulder blades, the other one pulling the small of her back to him. Cuddy moaned into his mouth, and House felt the warmth of her breath brushing his palate. He squeezed her tighter and closed his eyes, overwhelmed by a wave of tenderness that he suddenly couldn't handle any longer.

He broke away from their kiss and released her free, relaxing his arms around her. She said nothing but looked up at him with intrigued eyes. He took a small step back and a shy smile flickered across the corner of his lips.

"How did your meeting go?" he asked, not really knowing what to say but not really caring about the answer either.

"It went fine," she answered, her tone neutral, albeit slightly dismissive. "I'm just exhausted."

Worry pervaded him almost instantly. He couldn't help but speculate about her being exhausted and the fact that it could be a symptom related to her lump. But he bit his tongue instead and held back the irrepressible urge to do an anamnesis on her. Because he knew he couldn't. He knew that it wasn't what she wanted him to do. He'd come here to try. Try and be that man she wanted him to be.

Not a doctor. Just a man. Just her lover.

He came closer again and grabbed her gently by the hips to pull her into him again.

"Do you want me to run you a bath?" he asked in a fit of genuine, tender care. "A steaming hot bubble bath?"

It was tempting but Cuddy bit her lip and wriggled in his arms to extricate herself from his embrace.

"No, thanks. I think I'll just take a quick shower and change into more comfortable clothes. Have you eaten yet?"

"No," he said, averting his eyes.

"Grab something in the fridge if you want. I won't be long."

She rose on tiptoe and planted a quick peck on his lips. House watched her walk away, down the hallway and into her bedroom. Back when that train of conflicted feelings hadn't started invading him, he wouldn't have hesitated a second: He would have followed her to the bathroom. But in that moment, all he could do was stand there, not daring to move, and it hurt him.

He covered his face with both his hands and rubbed his forehead, drawing small circles with the tip of his fingers, trying to wash away the feeling of helplessness with that small, simple gesture. When he heard the sound of the flowing water, he sighed and headed toward the kitchen.

…

House was picking random food in her fridge, absent-mindedly eating it without really enjoying the sensation, when he felt her presence in the room. He turned around and there she was, standing at the doorstep, bare foot, with a black yoga pants and a light-blue loose sweater. She had removed her make-up and her hair was casually gathered into a jumble bun, held together with a Chinese chopstick. She looked like a teenager. She looked amazing and less tense. She smiled fondly at him. Just the vision of that smile gave him an immediate and soothing feeling of relief.

"Hey," she said, approaching.

"Hey! Feeling better?"

She came near him, and House promptly dropped the food he was holding on the counter next to him to welcome her in his embrace. She slid into his arms and snuggled up to his chest, resting her forehead against his torso. He heard her take a long deep breath and ran his fingers through her hair. She curled up even closer against him and he gently brought her face up to his, cupping her jaw in the palm of his hands and leaning down to kiss her on the forehead.

"Go relax in your couch while I'm picking something for you to eat," he said.

"I'm not sick! I don't need a nurse!" she instantly protested in a high-pitched voice, irrepressibly stiffening.

Try. Not to be a doctor. Just a man. Just her lover.

"That's not what I said," he replied evenly, his ice-blue eyes locked with hers, as he moved his hands, down to her waist. "You had a long day. You need to rest. And I'm not cooking you a whole dinner. Just something to eat."

Cuddy pouted, slightly beginning to yield to the quiet logic of his argument and he felt her body relax under his touch a little.

"Ok. Just a sandwich, then. I'm not really hungry."

Not hungry. House clenched his jaw and mentally counted to ten to divert his mind from the inexorable need to analyze everything as a potential symptom.

"Go! I'll join you in five."

She turned on her heel and left the kitchen. A while later, he joined her in the living room, carrying food on a tray with him. She was lying down on her couch, curled up under a woolen blanket as if she'd retreated inside a safe cocoon. Her eyes were closed and when he saw her so peaceful and relaxed, he laid the tray on the coffee table beside the sofa and sat down next to her to look at her. Cuddy felt the weight of his body beside hers and she started to fidget to straighten up. She sat up next to him and blinked a few times, repressing a yawn. He raised his hand to her face and lightly caressed her cheek.

"Sandwich is on the table if you want it."

"Will you be mad at me if I say that I don't?" she asked with puppy eyes.

He placed his hands on the round shape of her shoulders and pulled her to him gently.

"No, I won't," he said gently. "Come here."

She let him guide her against him and rested her head on his shoulder. They stayed enfolded in each other's arms for a long-suspended moment before House broke the silent with a low, gravelly voice.

"Let's forget this whole thing."

"The sandwich thing?" Cuddy asked, unconvincingly.

"No. The other thing-thing," he clarified.

She took a deep breath and sat up straight to face him.

"I can't forget this," she said looking him in the eyes.

"I know. I'm not saying you should. I'm just saying… let's forget you told me."

"I didn't tell you. I know that's why you're probably mad at me."

House stared intensely into her eyes, trying to muster up the courage to continue.

Try. Not to be a doctor. Just a man. Just her lover.

"No. I'm not mad at you. Let's forget you didn't tell me."

"Why?" she asked taken aback by his request

"Because… that's what you want."

She bit her bottom lip and bowed her head.

"Cuddy, I was wrong. You don't need me to take care of this. You were right. I just- I mean, it took me by surprise, but I promise you, I will forget about it if that's what you want. I can forget it."

"No, you can't," she said raising her face to meet his eyes again.

"Yes, I can."

Delicately, carefully, he came closer and cupped her face inside his hands. She gaped and he leaned down to kiss her. He brushed her lips with his lips, barely nibbling the pulp before moving away from her to study her reaction. Her mouth was slightly opened, and her gaze betrayed her confusion. But they were also glistening with unmistakable desire, beseechingly asking for more.

"Let me show you that I can," he told her huskily.

Overwhelmed by a sudden yearning, Cuddy gripped his shoulders and pulled him to her.

"Show me," she blew with a thready voice

House answered her compelling call and threw his arms around her, enveloping her shivering body and pressing it against him possessively.

Try. Not to be a doctor. Just a man. Just her lover.

And, in that moment, he wanted to be nothing else.

A/N

Ok so what do you expect, now? ha, it might turn out to be exactly that! :)

another Monday has arrived! I'm so happy...go #House! ~ maya