** CHAPTER 45 **

He hated days like these.

Of course, he knew how it felt. He'd lived that many times before, but he would never get used to it. Especially not now. Now was not a good time to deal with that kind of situations. He had no choice, though. And that's exactly what he was thinking, as he walked into the clinic and toward Cuddy's office.

He passed by her assistant's desk and gave him a nod. In return, Walter - or was it, Warren? - greeted him with a perfunctory smile. He didn't know why he had to do that, but a little stupidly he felt the need to point out toward her office's door with his finger, as if he wanted to justify his presence there. The assistant's grin widened, probably to signal he'd gotten the hint, or to give him the green light.

"Whatever!" he thought. He would have come inside anyway. He had a reason for that. He pushed the door open, and quickly closed it behind him. Cuddy was there, sitting at her desk, studying some files. She tilted her head up and imperceptibly jumped in her seat when she saw him.

"Wilson!" she exclaimed, visibly surprised. "What brings you here? Do we have a meeting I forgot about?"

"We don't. It's, uh- about Mrs. Thompson."

Cuddy knitted her brow quizzically. Wilson shifted on his feet uncomfortably and cleared his throat.

"She's a patient of mine. Stage 5 of aggressive breast cancer. Spread to the bones and now the liver. She's in a coma. She, err…probably won't make it through the day."

He had rattled his whole speech off in one breath and Cuddy took a significant pause to study him.

"I'm really sorry to hear that," she said, puzzlement registering on her face, "but I'm not sure I understand why you came here to tell me that."

"She signed a DNR. Mrs. Thompson, I mean. She doesn't want to be resuscitated."

Cuddy kept scrutinizing him, looking both intrigued and uneasy at the same time.

"The family, well mostly her husband, is contesting it," Wilson went on. "He argues that it's not what she wanted because she didn't realize what she was signing by the time we submitted the form to her. He demands the annulment. And he's taken a lawyer."

Cuddy sighed heavily and leaned back onto her chair's backrest.

"Ok and you're saying she's-"

"Going to die, yes," the oncologist said, completing her sentence. "Today, or maybe tomorrow at the latest."

"Which means our lawyers can't intercede," she acknowledged resignedly.

Cuddy bowed her head and covered her face with her hands to take some time to think. When she glanced up at Wilson again, she looked weary and a little unnerved.

"We don't have much choice. I know that's not what she'd have wanted but, sadly, she won't be here to protest anymore… her husband, on the other hand, might, and he could sue us-"

"You're saying we should ignore the DNR?"

"We can't get a court order that fast. I'm sorry, Wilson."

"That's what I thought, too, but I just had to-" He stopped, unable to finish that simple sentence.

He couldn't tell her that what he'd come here for was to talk about a woman dying of breast cancer, which he thought was particularly ill-timed, given the circumstances, and that he'd have gladly avoided coming here to ask her opinion even though he knew he had to because that was part of her job as a Dean to make the final decision about it.

Cuddy didn't fail to notice Wilson's embarrassment. From the moment he'd stepped in her office, awkwardly submitting that case to her, she'd felt something was off, and now she suspected it was not just about Mrs Thompson. She shook her head and closed her eyes for a brief moment, and then flashed a slightly disenchanted smile at the oncologist.

"He told you, right?" she simply said, knowing there was no need for her to be more specific.

Wilson tried to pull his best fake, shocked look.

"He- What? Told…Huh?" he stuttered, his face turning red.

She frowned in an "oh-come-on-don't-try-to-fool-me!" way.

"House didn't say anything," he denied.

Cuddy tutted loudly and shook her head.

"Funny how you automatically assumed I was talking about House, though," she said, deadpan.

Wilson's face flushed in embarrassment.

"I, uh… because this is always about House!" he tried to deflect lamely. "And I swear, I don't know what you're talking about, but he doesn't share the details of your sex life with me, in case that needs to be clarified!"

She rolled her eyes, dismayed.

"Although, I'm sure it's great!" the oncologist went on, the whole situation becoming more ridiculous and inappropriate every time he opened his mouth to say something.

He finally stopped and slapped his forehead in consternation. Cuddy smiled sheepishly and briefly looked away, the memory of the previous night suddenly popping up in her mind. Well, that sure was ironic, she thought bitterly.

"Cuddy, I'm sorry-"

"He told you, right?" she insisted stubbornly.

Wilson sighed and looked down, defeated.

"Of course, he did," she said, resignedly.

With one brief nod of the head, he confirmed what she already knew was the obvious truth.

"How are you?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

"I'm fine," she answered jutting her chin up defiantly.

Wilson challenged her with a look that said he was not buying it, and she averted her eyes, feeling unmasked.

"I'm scared," she added more sincerely, almost to herself.

"Of course, you are! Lisa, that's a normal reaction."

"Yes. Maybe it is, but I just-" She stopped in the middle of her sentence and a melancholic smile flickered across her pale lips.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm ok. Thank you, Wilson," she said dismissively.

"You sure?"

She stood up and walked around her desk to come near him. She put her hand on Wilson's shoulder and gave it a friendly pat.

"Well, I'm sure I want this conversation to end. Besides, don't you have a patient to take care of?"

"You know if you ever need me to-"

"I know," she said hastily before he got the chance to word his offer. She rose on tiptoe and grabbed his jaw to peck him on the cheek. "Thank you."

He frowned disapprovingly but there was not much he could add. Cuddy had always known what she wanted and always done her best to get it. And she'd just made it perfectly clear that she didn't want to share any specific details with him regarding her situation.

They hadn't even acknowledged the presence of the lump or specified how it had affected her relationship with House – if it had. Everything had been said in veiled terms, or through subtle innuendos, but Wilson had no other choice: He couldn't force her to talk if she didn't want to. He was ready to offer her his friendly support and he'd told her just that. At least she knew she could count on him.

He still left Cuddy's office reluctantly, and she returned to her paperwork, her face more inscrutable than ever.

# # # # #

At 11:20 that same morning, Mrs. Thompson's organs started shutting down. She fell into respiratory arrest and should have died then but, with no legal court order to apply the DNR and respect her last will to leave in dignity, Wilson had to resuscitate her.

He intubated her and put her on a ventilator. When her chest began to move up and down again, her husband, who had stood in a corner of the room watching the scene the whole time, sighed heavily in relief. Wilson silently left the room, mixed feelings of bitterness and anger pervading him.

He went back to his office and tried to focus on his paperwork, fighting the distressful images of a tall, gorgeous body that came popping up in his mind. A tall, gorgeous, injured, and frail body plugged to a machine that he had turned off himself, a body he had then cradled in his arms until its last breath…

"I need your boy-scout's innocent voice to make a phone call."

Wilson raised his eyes and sighed heavily at the silhouette standing in front of his desk.

"House, I'm not in a mood for prank."

"Neither am I."

The gravity in the diagnostician's voice indicated it had nothing to do with a playful visit. Wilson scrutinized his friend, intrigued, and House fell down on the chair across from him, silently waiting for Wilson's reaction.

"What is it?" the oncologist finally asked.

"Gruber. Cuddy has her appointment with him this afternoon."

"Oh!" Wilson nodded comprehensively but felt suddenly confused by that piece of information and, mostly, by the reason House would share it with him. "So what?" he added, carefully exploring the field.

House looked away and rubbed his forehead wearily.

"I thought … I should go," he mumbled under his breath, not daring to look his friend in the eyes as if he were ashamed of himself for expressing such a ridiculous idea.

Wilson widened his eyes in genuine surprise.

"Of course, you should," he exclaimed, "since she asked you to!"

"Well, that's the problem, you see … maybe I shouldn't go."

"What do you mean? Cuddy doesn't want you there?"

"I don't know. I mean, technically, she didn't say that she didn't want me there, but…she didn't say that she wanted me, either-"

"Oh, for God's sake, House!" Wilson exclaimed, causing House to pout like a grounded child. "Don't be ridiculous! You know exactly what you have to do-"

"Nooooo!" House protested unconvincingly.

He averted his gaze and all of his legendary self-confidence seemed to vanish, then he looked back at Wilson looking unusually lost.

"What am I supposed to do there?"

"Nothing! You'll just … be there, for her. That's all she needs."

"But what if it's not?"

"Dammit House! Do you love her?"

House set his lips and glared defiantly at Wilson for a few seconds, until he let out a heavy, surrendering sigh. Wilson smiled victoriously at him.

"If you do love her," he said patronizingly, "then stop asking yourself – and me – stupid, pointless questions. Just do what you think is right."

House stood up and pursed his lips, trying to repress the relieved smile that was curling his lips upward. Then, without a comment, he headed toward the door to his friend's office in a determined pace.

"What's that phone call you wanted me to give?" Wilson asked just as he was about to exit.

House turned around and shot him a mysterious glance.

"Never mind, I'll just do what I think is right!"

A/N

I hope the little extra wait between updates doesn't discourage you from reading. I promise I'll try to make it less long...

Carpe Diem ~ maya