I tossed my overnight bag into the back seat of Mom's car, then hopped in the front.

"Hey honey!" Mom smiled.

"Hey," I leaned over, letting her kiss my cheek. Then, I buckled.

"How was it?!" She adjusted in her seat, then reversed out of Isa's driveway.

"It was fun!"

"Was it just you and Isa?"

"Yeah. Well, Sam was supposed to come. But, her mom went away on a work trip and her dad asked if she could stay back and help with her siblings."

"Aw, that stinks. That's so nice of her though."

"Yeah." I nodded.

"She's the one with like 17 younger siblings, huh?"

I laughed. Sam and I were friends- but not best friends. Mom didn't know everything about her like she did Isa. "Four. But, still a lot."

"Crazy." Mom shook her head. "What did you guys do? Did you eat breakfast or do you want me to stop somewhere?"

"We ate, I'm ok. Uh... we just kind of talked."

"That's always nice."

"Yeah. I saw you and Callie went out for dinner?" Mom had posted on Instagram. Young mom things.

Mom smiled. "We did! We went to this new place. It was great."

"The food looked pretty good." I commented.

"It was amazing!" Mom said happily.

I giggled. "Oh! I told Isa all about the proposal!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm. I mean, she knew that it happened. But, I told her everything. Ya know? Also, she said congratulations. She's excited for you guys, too!"

"Aw that's so sweet." Mom smiled more.

"Yeah." I nodded a little. I left out the thing I was thinking most about- the fact that Isa had asked a lot of questions. She was very curious. Like me.

The thought made my stomach feel all bubbly.

"When do you guys think you're gonna get married?" I asked, just out of curiosity. Isa had asked, and I realized I had no clue.

Mom quickly glanced at me. "Why? Are you feeling nervous about it? When do you want us to? What are you okay with?" She immediately drilled me with questions, her voice frantic.

Woah.

That was truly too much.

"Mom. I just was asking a question."

Mom let out a breath, and I watched her shoulders release from the tense position she had just shifted to. "I'm sorry."

"So, when are you thinking?" I still hadn't gotten an answer.

"Well, we don't really want a lot of people. And, we don't need anything big. So, we could easily be married by the end of the summer. Plus, I mean, you know how crappy the weather gets up here as fall gets closer. We feel like if we don't do it in the summer we'll have to wait a whole year and that would be crazy long."

"That's so soon!"

"Is that a bad thing?" Mom asked quickly, clearly dismissing the excitement evident in my voice.

"Why would that be a bad thing?"

"I don't know. Do you want us to get married so quick?"

"What's gonna change? Just the title. I mean- we already live with her. And you guys suck face all the time. I'm used to it." I shrugged.

Mom covered her mouth with her hand. "Suck face?"

"Make out, suck face. Same thing."

"I'm..." She laughed. "Ok. Anyway. You sure?"

"Yeah. Mom, I'm serious, not much will change. So, if you guys want to do it at the end of the summer, go for it."

"Yeah?" Mom seemed to need some more reassuring.

"I wouldn't be sitting here encouraging you to marry her if I didn't want you to."

"If you say so."

"Why do you seem so hesitant?" I asked.

"I'm not!"

"You totally are. Do you not want to get married?"

"What?! No! I want to marry Callie. I cannot wait to marry Callie."

"Then what's the problem?"

"There isn't a pr..." Mom sighed. "Maybe I was projecting some of my nerves on to you. I'm sorry."

"Nerves about what?"

"Being married again." Mom admitted.

"Oh." I bit my cheek.

"Yeah..." Mom glanced over at me. "It's not about Callie. I do want to marry her. More than anything. It's just... marriage was never a good thing for me. And now it's this big sunshine happy idea for Callie and I feel... anxious, I guess. I know it'll be perfect. It's just that... reminder of the past, you know?"

"Marriage was never good in my eyes, either." I admitted. "Cause of... your ex, really. My point is, I see where you're coming from. It makes sense."

Mom nodded slowly.

"Have you told Callie this?"

"Of course! She knows. But, what is she supposed to do? Marriage is a new and exciting thing for her. I wouldn't want to take that away from her. It's just not as new for me. The idea of it brings back old feelings."

"I hate him." I mumbled.

He had to ruin everything. Everything. While we lived with him, our lives were bad. But, now that we were away- and happy- he was still causing us trouble. In an indirect way.

I hated that he did that to my mom. Made her feel so... bad about herself.

I understood why Mom would feel nervous.

Last time she was married, she was treated terribly.

I know Callie would never do such a thing. Mom knew that too. But a simple fact wouldn't calm the fear- I knew from my own experience.

"Me too, Olive, me too." Mom agreed.

I let some silence fill the car.

Then I spoke up.

"You and Callie are basically already married. I mean, living together, you're super close-obviously. You love each other. That's basically what marriage is. Nothing will change once all that legal stuff is done." I wanted to be there for Mom. I wanted to reassure her.

"I know, honey." Mom smiled softly.

"It'll be... the same."

"Yeah." She sighed. "I really am excited. Very excited. Just, sometimes you can't put a lid on those nagging feelings."

"I understand, Mom." I meant that. I understood how she was feeling more than anything.

I felt the same way.