"I'm so sorry."

"You should tell his wife that. Anyways tell me about you."

"Well...-"

"Well after shooting Jenna in the squad room, it took a toll on me. Liv, you have to understand, she was the same age as Lizzie. I felt like I killed one of my daughters in cold blood," Olivia nodded, eyes showed no sympathy.

"I was so miserable at home. The kids tried to get me out of the house but nothing was helping. I felt so bad. IAB was up my ass Liv."

"Why couldn't you talk to any of at the squad?"

"Cragen was already in the middle with IAB Liv. He was trying to negotiate my stay. He was trying to justify it but IAB didn't want to hear. They wanted me to take anger management classes, they wanted to do a psychiatric profile as they wanted to go over everything that's happen. Everything in my Jacket."

"And you couldn't deal with IAB anymore?"

"IAB has always had it out for me. I wasn't about to give in to them by letting them go after all the good shootings that happened in my career. I wasn't going to let them take my job or put on patrol. So I put my retirement paper in after a while being at home. I sat at home with all day while the kids went to school or Kathy went to work. I sat there with Eli, reminding me I needed to be there for him like I should've been for all of the other kids. That's when Kathy talked to me one night. She wanted to take a family trip. Get away from New York for a while as the kids were also out of school. She wanted to travel around Europe."

"That's how you ended moving away from New York?" Olivia asked, sipping on her wine, watching Elliot.

"Yeah. Once we took a family trip, it was like everything was lifted off our shoulders. Everything that's happen with my job, I didn't think about. Everything that's been holding our relationship back. Everything was like a relief to us. Once we arrived to Rome, it was like everything Kathy has dreamed off. All the kids loved being in Rome and were having the most amazing time they had in a while. That's when me and Kathy knew we needed a fresh start. For our relationship. For our family. For ourselves as an individual."

"You wanted a fresh start. I get that. But I think there's more to explain here Elliot."

"There is more. We sold the house. All of the older kids weren't living at home, all in college or living their own lives. Eli was the only one who moved to Rome with us since he was a kid. The kids were in charged of watching momma but we did it. We got out of New York. I got a job as a private security guard and was doing that for a few years. When I wasn't working, I was sight seeing with Kathy and Eli. It was helping with our relationship but it wasn't helping me. Everywhere I kept seeing, I was thinking of you Liv. I thought you would love it there in Rome," Olivia scoffed at him as she didn't know to believe the last two statements out of his mouth.

"You kept thinking of me? Was that before you decided it was too hard to hear to my voice that you couldn't' leave? Remember you told me that at the hospital when your wife was in critical condition? Or did you seem to know or check on me when I was held abducted for three days? Or when I got taken again by the same guy before he shot himself and framed me. Once again Elliot, I had no idea where you were as there was no communication between us during ten long years. That's why you didn't pick up my calls because you couldn't hear my voice." Olivia exclaimed.

"You have to believe me Liv, I did think of you. If I knew about what happe-"Olivia briefly interrupted him.

"Kathleen told me Kathy knew and the kids knew what happened. I don't blame you for not knowing."

"I swear I should've known. I would've been on the first flight back. None of the kids told me even when we came out to visit during holidays and birthdays and when they visited."

"I'm sure they knew you would've told Kathy for keeping it a secret. And Kathy would never let you go see me while in guys while in New York."

"She didn't want your name being brought up. She knew I didn't keep in touch as she always asked me."

"I was the issue in your relationship. That's why she didn't tell you I've made captain and my reward until there was invite?"

"Well yeah. I only got the invite because after awhile I was offered the NYPD Liaison in Rome. That's how I got the invite. Kathy found it in the mail before I got to check any email from the NYPD. She asked me if I talk to you before letting me know about the invite. She wanted to know if I knew before she told me. We came also cause of meeting my boss meetings my boss set up for me , that's why we were there that night."

"Elliot, I get it. But your letter? Parallel universe? Is all of that true?"

"I know that night was confusing. In a parallel universe, it will always be you and I, always Liv." Elliot pecked her check with a kiss.