"Oh. My. GAWD!" she exclaimed, practically inhaling her slice of pizza. "What kind of pizza IS this? Because I'm totally buying this every day for the rest of my life."

"Told ya," I replied with a satisfied smirk. "Saylor's Chicken Bacon Ranch pizza is the be all and end all of pizzas, hands down."

"Seriously, Edward. You didn't do this pizza justice when you described it. I not only had a foodgasm, but I think I may have drenched my panties!"

I managed to do the right thing and choke on my pizza. You can't just make a statement like that and expect me not to, can you? Besides, it got Bella to touch me because she had to pound me on my back to make sure I didn't die or something.

"Glad you liked it," I rasped out.

We ate the rest of our dinner in silence.

No, wait, that was what I was hoping would happen, because I didn't think my poor expanding dick could take much more pressure. Instead, the conversation continued.

"So, Dr. Cullen, I didn't do anything TOO embarrassing while I was out of it, did I?"

I tried not to lie, but my smirk betrayed me and gave it away. Stupid twitchy lips. Great, now I was thinking of twitchy lips. Twitchy lips on Bella. And I wasn't talking about her facial lips. Wink Wink. Nudge Nudge. What? I'm a guy! I might even burst out saying BOOBS once or twice. It's my story, dammit.

"Oh my gawd," Bella blushed, burying her face in her hands.

"It wasn't THAT bad, Bella," I soothingly reassured. She wasn't buying it.

"Edward, you're one thing, but a good liar isn't it," she reprimanded, crossing her arms over that pink scrub top that was two sizes too small.

"Well, it was...entertaining," I evaded.

"Alice will never tell me. What do I say or do that's so entertaining?"

Do I tell her? Do I risk her never coming back to me again if I do? Do I tell her only half the truth and hope she fills in the blanks in a more favorable way? I decided to go with the latter.

"Well, you like to talk a lot, for starters."

There, that wasn't too bad.

"Really? What do I talk about?" she prodded.

Crap, she wanted details.

"Um...I guess usually you talk about whatever is nearest to your face?"

I am the King of Evasive Answers. Dr. Cullen for the win!

My victory was short lived, as I watched her eyes drift down to my crotch. Yep, she knew exactly what was near her face when she was in that chair.

"You know, I probably don't even want to know," she quickly amended.

Just as I started to breathe freer and considered changing topics, she continued.

"So, what do I DO when I'm out of it?"

Abort! Abort! Danger Will Robinson!

I coughed, hoping to delay my response and come up with something diplomatic, but the anaconda in my pants was ready to strike, it's fangs dripping with venom. And yes, I just referred to my penis as an anaconda. No ego there, eh?

"Well...I guess...sometimes...yougetalittlefriendly."

Rushing your words makes the conversation end quicker right? RIGHT?

"Friendly?" Crap, she was paying attention. "Friendly how?"

Her eyebrow had magical powers of making people confess, I was sure of it! It raised up on one side and practically demanded the truth!

I coughed nervously, "Well...like...friendly...like..."

"Oh my GAWD! I flirted with you didn't I? Oh noooooo! I want to DIEEEE!"

Yep, I think I was going to witness my first death from embarrassment.

"Bella..."

She scooted further away, burying her face in her hands, chanting "oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" over and over again.

I scooted closer.

"Bella...really, it wasn't THAT bad!"

"Not that bad? Edward, have you seen your face? I think it's about ten shades of pink because you're so embarrassed! You can't even SAY it! Ugh! I'm going to have to find a new dentist now, I can't ever look you in the eyes again. ARRRRGGGH!"

With that, she grabbed a throw pillow and covered her head in shame.

"Bella," I started again, scooting closer to her and gently grasping her wrists, to pull her hands away from the pillow smothering her face. "Really, you only got a little tiny bit flirty. It's no big deal. Medication makes you do strange things. It's actually very common. You can Google it."

For a brief second, her glistening eyes met my gaze and held it. Shit, I couldn't handle crying girls.

"Edward, that does NOT help me feel ANY better right now. You have to know that, right?"

"Eh, I gave it a shot."

We both started laughing a little bit.

"Really, Bella. It was no big deal. I'm nothing but a professional and I made sure you fully behaved yourself the entire time. Scouts honor!"

Bella looked at my raised hand and squinted a bit.

"Were you even a Boy Scout?"

"Actually I was, so there!" It's mature to stick your tongue out at another adult, right?

She ran her fingers through her hair and took a calming breath, letting it out slowly.

"It really wasn't that bad?"

I placed my hand on top of hers in assurance (and because I really wanted to touch her again).

"No Bella, it wasn't that bad."

Bella let out another breath of relief.

"Oh good."

I was just about to open my mouth to suggest maybe grabbing some dessert as well, when Bella finally looked down at herself for the first time and I felt myself have a minor panic attack.

"Um, Edward?"

"Yes Bella," I answered with the straightest face I could muster.

"Where are my clothes?"