"Um..." I attempted to stall. And failed.

Eyes as big as saucers, she stared me down, pleading with me to spare her the ultimate embarrassment.

"The thing is..."

"I got naked?" she shrieked, fists balled at her sides.

"Well, not exact-" She cut me off.

Her voice was eerily calm and collected, "Did I do it in front of you?"

My throat involuntarily cleared. My face burned hot like the Sahara.

"N-no! Of course not!" I lied.

"Oh my GAWD! I undressed in front of you? You saw?"

"Well, only a litt-"

"You SAW!"

"I only-"

"You saw my goodies, dressed me up in these godawful pink scrubs that are giving me a screaming case of camel toe, and you just...failed to mention it?"

To my credit, I'm a man and testosterone plays a huge role in your level of maturity, at least that's the angle I'm going to play right now. Or maybe it was past my bedtime, and maybe I was suffering a little PTSD from dealing with a naked, flirty Bella for half the evening, and maybe it had driven me over the edge of insanity, because at that moment, I started laughing. A full-hearted belly laugh, complete with tears streaming down my face and the occasional snort from lack of air.

Bella glared at me with daggers shooting from her eyes. If looks could have killed, I would have been flayed alive and set on fire, whilst syrup was poured on my genitals and fire ants were released to clean it up.

"I can't believe you're laughing! What's so damned funny about this?"

I couldn't catch my breath between guffawing.

"You...you...camel...and the...oh god...too...much!" I gasped out, clutching my middle and rolling to the side.

"Edward."

"Tee...teeheehee...ahahahahahahaha!"

Yep, I'd gone pretty much insane.

"Edward."

I worked diligently to stifle the grin, sucking my bottom lip into my mouth and biting on it as hard as I could.

And failed as I snorted and chuckled my way into another fit of laughter.

She stood, seeming to tower over me with her tiny frame, hands on her hips with indignation.

"Edward!" she shouted.

Sighing loudly and looking towards her with a slight roll of my eyes, I realized too late just how pissed she was.

"Sorry, Bella." I managed to look contrite. "It's just been a really long, rough day."

"Oh, I'll bet it has. I bet it's just been absolutely horrible for you, what with me being naked and all, probably begging for your hot body or something equally embarrassing. I could have your license, you know."

And then, something inside of me snapped and I felt...kinda pissed off.

"Oh really? REALLY? We're going to play THAT card?"

Her chin stuck up at me in defiance. "Yes I am! I can't believe you'd take advantage of a girl who's obviously not in her right mind at the time!"

"Oh yes, Bella," I continued, my voice dripping with sarcasm. I was on a roll right now. I was probably going to say something I seriously regretted, but once the stick of dynamite has been ignited, you've got to expect it to blow!

"I've spent ALL these years and years going to school to become one of the best, most respected dentists in the area, only to piss it all away by groping and sexing up some hot patient of mine, thereby leaving me open to a rape charge, assault, and God knows what else! Not to mention, completely ruin my relationship with my sister, who just happens to be my prey's best friend!"

I threw my hands up in exasperation and got up to leave. I didn't have to take this shit, no matter how attractive this person was.

Gathering up my jacket, my wallet and my keys, I stalked to the front door and opened it with a bit more force than was necessary, knocking the door into the plaster and causing a dent to crease the wall.

"Wait! Edward!"

Fuck this. I wasn't going to listen to another word. Don't turn around. Don't turn around.

My fingers shook as it fumbled for the key fob and struggled to press the unlocking mechanism.

Her hands snaked across mine, curling around the keys.

"Edward," she calmly implored, "wait."

I blew out a breath very slowly and turned to face her.

"What?" I asked, waiting for her tirade to resume, or possibly for a knee to the crotch. I tried to angle myself in such a way so I could still look at her and still protect my balls.

"You think I'm hot?"

Wait, what?