Holy smokes! You all enjoyed Sexsper's live tutorial that he gave Edward for the cherry popping. I was completely awed by your response. Thank you for your amazing reviews, messages, faves, and alerts. Sexsper for all of you...well, almost all of you...Jizzella for my fabulous male readers!
This chapter starts Bella and Jasper on a new journey in which their relationship will be tested time and time again. The next few chapters will deal with a few issues plaguing our favorite vampires. There will be lots of twists and turns, as well as, a few surprises-well not so much in this chapter, but this is the chapter that begins it all.
This story is AU/OOC.
All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.
Mature readers 18+ only please.
Peter's POV
I felt like a total heel. Last night, after the prom, Char tried to seduce me, but I denied her. She was so upset that she took off to go hunting. For the first time ever, I couldn't bring myself to follow my wife. Her blasé attitude regarding her arrest pissed me off. She apologized over and over, even said that Jasper taught her a lesson on Friday, but I still couldn't bring myself to forgive her. I think what brought me over the edge was when she said that she was merely threatening me with separation. It was then that I realized that maybe this separation was a good thing. I needed time to sort out my thoughts away from Charlotte.
I decided to move into my new apartment early. I packed my clothes, my laptop, my iPod, and a few books and loaded them up into my truck and left. I ignored the pain of the mating pull in my chest, this time apart would be better in the long run for both Char and me.
I opened the door to my apartment. It was completely bare. I'd have to go shopping for some furniture today. I decided to take a quick shower. As soon as I got in, I realized that I didn't have any shampoo or soap or even a razor. Char usually took care of that stuff for me. I took a long, relaxing shower and reached for a towel. Nope, forgot that too. Damn. I guess I'll have to drip dry.
I reached into my bag for some clothes and discovered that I didn't pack any socks or underwear. I'd have to write a list of all the stuff I needed. I threw on some sweats and sat on the bare floor. I sat up with my back up against the wall and listened to my iPod hoping the music would calm me down. No such luck there.
I decided to surf the net. Nope, no can do, no internet connection. Maybe I'll go out and explore Cambridge a little. Great, all I see are happy couples walking around hand in hand. Don't need to be reminded of what I once had. The question is, did I ever really have that?
Char was changed for the Major to do with what he pleased. She was basically trained to serve and please him. He saw that I liked her so he let me share her with him. That went on for a year until Maria ordered her death and I ran away with her. A few years later, we went back for the Major and shared her again. Then, the Major met Psycho Bitch. Before he left with her, he shared a bit of his acquired wealth with us so that we could set up a household and live without any financial worries for all of eternity.
The very first time Jasper came to visit us with Alice, we noticed he had changed. The Major had gone into complete hibernation and Jasper was being dominated by his all seeing, greedy wife who always had some sort of an agenda. Char hated Alice from the moment she met her. It wasn't just Alice's annoying, selfish, snooty personality either, Char was jealous and wanted her Major back—like I said, we had a fucked up beginning. Char always believed that she had two men in her life—the Major and me.
Years passed before Jasper came to see us again. This time he came alone. The Psycho Bitch was apparently on a shopping trip. Char hopped right back into the sack with the Major and I didn't think anything of it. I figured, he created her and she belonged to him in a sense too. After that, the Major made a few trips a year to Texas and we fell back into the same routine. I never addressed the issue of
Jasper in our bed for two reasons: First, it made Char happy and second, I liked having my brother home with me.
Years went by and our routine continued, Jasper would visit and Char would fuck him. Twenty-three years ago, the Psycho Bitch started to tighten her rein on Jasper. His visits became less frequent and Char and I started bringing different people into our bed to stave off our boredom between visits. Actually, when I think about it, I did it hoping that Char would forget about Jasper. Well, Char enjoyed it. Men, women, human, vampire—whoever it was, she enjoyed having a third party in bed.
Five and a half years ago, Jasper showed up on our doorstep. Some shit had gone down between him and a, then human, Bella. Alice had divorced him on the spot and Jasper was depressed. Char coaxed him out of his depression by bringing back his confidence—physically, mentally, and emotionally. A year later, Jasper moved to New Hampshire with the Cullens. This time, he spent half the year with them and half the year with us. With Alice no longer in the picture, we visited each other frequently and even became close to the Cullens minus Edward and Alice.
The Denalis also visited the Cullens and it was during one of those visits that we met Tanya. She was a succubus, single, and lonely. Like Jasper, she lived in a house surrounded by mated pairs. Tanya was lonely and a willing bed partner for both me and Char. She soon became a fixture in our lives and in our bed. So, for a couple of years it was Tanya, Char, and me with Jasper thrown into the mix sometimes. Char was ecstatic. She was no longer lonely with both Tanya and Jasper around. Things were about to change, though—drastically. Jasper was about to meet his mate.
The instant we met Bella, I knew that life as we knew it was going to be thrown into disarray. Jasper's mate was unlike anyone we'd ever encountered before. She was fierce, intelligent, independent, and was unafraid to speak her mind. Unlike Alice, she brought out the smart, sensitive, and extremely dedicated one woman man that Jasper truly was. Suddenly, Jasper no longer needed Char. She became jealous.
Bella took care of Jasper without babying him. Whenever Jasper lived with us, Char took care of all his household needs for him, just like she did for me. It was like she had two husbands. Bella, on the other hand, made Jasper help with everything from laundry to cleaning the house. She laid down the ground rules from day one telling him that she wasn't his servant. Char was actually pissed off that Bella didn't take care of menial chores for the Major. I could still remember Bella asking Char pointedly. "So, what you're saying, Char, is that since I'm less of a person than Jasper because he happens to have achieved the rank of Major—I should do everything for him?"
Char couldn't say anything. Bella had made a really good point. Bella didn't give a shit if Jasper were the Major. To Bella, Jasper was her mate and as such, her equal. Watching their relationship blossom, I realized what Char and I were missing—there was absolutely no equality in our relationship. As long as Char was a good girl and took care of me, then she could have whatever she wanted. I trained her that way from the time we were in Maria's army together.
From the outside, I may have appeared to be the dominant one, but really I gave Char hold of the reins by teaching her that I won't ever deny her anything as long as she was, for the most part, obedient to me. We never discussed our problems and we rarely, if ever fought. Char and I played mind games with each other. What she needed was to fuel her sexual needs so I gave that to her. What I wanted was to keep Char safe and to myself so I kept her secluded from the rest of the world—not allowing her to form any deep bonds with anyone. All those people who joined us in bed were a one time only deal and were never allowed to bond with her. Jasper and Tanya were her only friends for a while there, but even, they needed her for their sexual release too.
I did this to Char. I was a fucking failure as a husband and a mate.
It was about ten am in Cambridge and my wanderings took me to Francis Street where Bella and Jasper live. I saw their truck in the driveway so I decided to knock on their door and visit. Bella answered the door. "What's up, Petey? Come inside out of the cold." She said.
I walked inside and sat down on the sofa. "Is Jasper home?"
"No, he went to play paint ball with the rest of the guys. They were looking for you, but you weren't home."
"Yeah, I kind of had it out with Char and left." I said.
Bella looked at me sympathetically. "I know you love her, Pete, but I think this separation may be the best thing for you. You both need time to think on your own."
"It hurts, Bella. I've never been without Char and I'm completely helpless. Last night I took a shower and realized that I had no soap, no towel, no underwear, no socks, and no wife to help me with those things. She's been doing everything for me for so long that I can't even take care of myself."
"Well, then maybe, you need to learn how to take care of yourself first before you can take care of her. By the way, before you even think about asking, the answer is no. I refuse to do your laundry for you. You can do your wash here though, I doubt you have a washer and dryer in your apartment. I'll even teach you how to do it."
"Thanks, Bella." I said. "Laundry didn't even cross my mind and you're right, there's no washer and dryer at my place. Um, are you busy today?"
"Well, I have to put the finishing touches on my paper and then I'm free. Why?"
"I need a wife." I said.
"Pete, I'm not having sex with you."
"No, no. I mean I need someone to go shopping with me and help me set up my apartment. I don't even know what I need for it."
"I'll tell you what. Why don't you make yourself at home and let me finish my paper. It'll only take me about an hour—tops. Then, we'll hop in my truck and go shopping." Bella said then handed me one of the beverage dispensers and a mug from last night's prom. "Here, have some fried chicken."
"Fried chicken?" I asked, curiously.
"Just try it—you'll see what I mean."
Might as well, I've got nothing better to do. I dispensed some blood and drank some. Curiously, it tasted like...home. I didn't really remember much from my human life, not even my last name. All I remembered was my first name, birthday, and the fact that I was a Captain in the Navy and a Texan.
I had a little more of this delicious brew and tried hard to think. I remember growing up in a huge lakeside home in Port Author, Texas. Holy shit! I'm from Port Arthur. We had a housekeeper whose name evades me, but she made the best dang fried chicken in the world. Hmm...what else do I remember? I went to college. Yes, I did. I went to the University of Texas in Austin and I was in a fraternity. I majored in mechanical engineering. Straight A's. That's right. I was getting excited remembering this stuff. I wanted to tell someone. Anyone. Hell, at this point I would have told Psycho Bitch even—nah, my dick still cringes at the thought of her impaling her toxic pussy on me. I was jumpy in my seat.
Bella was typing away at her paper. A few minutes later, she hit save and said, "Let me just print this out." She walked to the printer, stapled together the pages, and declared that she was done.
"Good!" I exclaimed, picked Bella up and spun her around the room, then I hugged her and smacked a big wet kiss on her lips. She looked at me stunned.
"Sorry, Bells, I got excited." I said. "That mug of fried chicken brought back some memories of my human life." So I told her everything that I discovered. She was just as excited for me.
"Pete, we can find out your history. We can search through the archives at the University of Texas and match them up with some fraternity records." She suggested. "Ooh! This is going to be so much fun! I eat this shit right up!"
"Alright, let's go shopping. Oh, I have to grab my truck." I said.
Bella threw me her keys. "We'll take mine. You drive, I detest driving."
"Okay, let's go to that Ikea place. That way, we can just take the furniture back to my place and assemble it instead of waiting for a delivery. I'm also going to need towels, shampoo, and whatever else you think I need." I put the truck into drive and headed out.
Bella switched on the radio. It was set to a country music station. "You know, I never really listened to country until I met Jasper. Now, I really like it."
Bella and I started singing along to the tunes and before we knew it, we were at Ikea. We walked through the store and picked out some furniture for the apartment. I thought about something Bella had said earlier and decided to broach the subject. "Hey, Bella, you said that you think that the separation is a good ideas. Why?"
Bella sighed. "Peter, I'm not a professional therapist—that's Riley's job. I can only tell you what I see."
"So, what is it that you see, Bella?"
"I see a couple who have completely lost their way. I see a marriage that isn't a partnership. I see a little girl with no self esteem that flaunts herself sexually in order to get her husband's attention. I see a man who desperately loves his wife so he gives her whatever she wants even if he knows it's wrong."
"How did you get so smart, baby girl?" I asked Bella and pulled her in for a hug.
"I'm not smart, Peter. I'm just observant."
"I think Char never had a chance to grow up Peter. I think she needs to see how good she had it with you. I'm not like Jasper. He feels as if it's his fault that Char's the way she is so he indulges her. I don't think Char needs anymore indulging. I actually think she needs a swift kick in the ass. Now don't think that I hate Char because I don't. I just think she's had her own way for just a bit too long and she's completely lost touch with reality."
"So are you saying that you're on my side, Bella?"
"I refuse to take sides, Petey, but I can say that I think you've actually got your head in the right place in this case."
I kissed baby girl on top of her head. "You love me, don't you?"
"Shh..." Bella put her finger to her lips and winked. "Don't let it get around."
We cashed out of Ikea and went on to another store to grab everything else. Man oh man! I had no idea I needed so much to live on my own. I had to pick up everything from underwear to a vacuum cleaner.
"Hey, Bella!" I hollered from the underwear section. "They don't sell Star Wars Boxers here. I don't want Batman or Scooby Doo."
"What's wrong with Scooby Doo? Jasper wears Scooby Doo."
"Scooby Doo's a fucking dog. Yoda's a Jedi Master. When the day comes that you meet your maker—what would you rather be wearing?" I asked.
"Pete, when I meet my maker, I'm not gonna give a fuck what kind of underwear I'm wearing. I'm gonna be fighting for my life making sure that whoever wants me in that pyre is the one in it instead of me."
"Good point, but Yoda makes me feel better. So, what color are your panties?"
"Peter! Just buy a package of Fruit of the Loom and order the Star Wars boxers online."
"Bella, I can't stuff my love python into a pair of briefs, the poor dude will suffocate."
"Pete, I've seen your dick. It's average sized—I swear he'll be able to breathe."
"Bella, don't go shouting that my dick's only average sized. I've got my pride." I said.
"Oh Peter! You're so big—goliath even! I love the feeling of your love rocket in my pussy!" Bella hollered in the middle of Walmart. "Is that better?"
"Yeah, keep going, baby. You're making my dick hard talking like that. Maybe you can suck my cock a little?"
"Ma'am, Sir. My manager would like me to inform you that Walmart likes to maintain a family environment. We would appreciate it if you would both tone down your speech."
"Sorry." I said remorsefully to the store associate who kept winking at me. "We're newlyweds. My woman gets excited just at the sight of me.
"I can see why." The manager batted her eyelashes at me and licked her lips seductively. She had permed eighties hair held up by a jaw clip and bright purple and yellow eyeshadow. She was dressed in spandex pants and a leopard skin top. I don't think this woman ever got out of the year 1985 which was probably when she graduated from high school.
Bella's jaw dropped. "Ew!" She murmured so only I could hear.
"I second that. Let's get the fuck out of here." I whispered to her.
We cashed out of Walmart and headed back to my apartment. We quickly unloaded all the purchases.
"Don't we need to build the furniture?" Bella asked.
"No, sug, we've done enough today. I wanna go do something fun. I need to take my mind off of all this fuckery." I said.
"Okay, do you have something in mind?"
"Yep, come on, little girl. We're gonna go dancing tonight." I said.
"Let me just call Jasper and tell him that I'm safe with you."
I took Bella to a place called The Charlie Horse in West Bridgewater. "It's country night tonight. Can you two step?"
"Um, I can try." Bella said.
"I'll teach ya." I held my hand out to Bella and she took it. Soon, I was twirling her around the dance floor and we were both having the time of our lives.
"This is so much fun!" Bella exclaimed. "Can we come here again?"
"Sure, it'll be our spot—just yours and mine. We can dance the night away and forget about our problems while we're here. Deal?"
"Deal!" Bella said. "Now let's go shoot a little pool."
"Now you're talking, sug. Can you play?"
"Oh, I think you're gonna have to teach me." She said.
She wasn't kidding when she said that she couldn't play pool. I had to teach her everything about it. She became halfway decent a few games in and was able to sink in a few balls. Right around that time, I was approached by an asshole who was trying to hustle a game of pool.
"You're pretty good. Care to wager?" Biker dude and his leather clad chick asked me.
"Uh, sure. How much you wanna play for?" I questioned.
"Start with a hundred." He said.
"Peter, are you sure that's a good idea?" Bella sounded extremely worried.
"Don't worry, sweetheart, I've got this." I winked.
I won the first three games easily. The biker dude just didn't want to give up and asked for a forth game. By then, I had already won six hundred bucks off him. "Hey, you're not gonna win. You should quit before I take all your cash, man." I said to him.
"No, just one more game he said. I just lost six hundred bucks, you've gotta give me a chance to win it back." He said.
"Alright." I said.
Oh, motherfucker. The asshole's been holding out on me. I've been hustled. In less than five minutes he won all the money I took from him before back. I can take him again though.
"Fucker, you've been holding out on me. That ain't right. Now, you need to give me a chance to win my money back. I'll make it worth your while. I've got a thousand bucks here." I flashed him my cash.
"Suit yourself. You can play my woman, Cat, here. She'll go easy on you."
Fuck! Cat was better than he was—she took my cash in three minutes. "Another game?" She asked me.
"Nah, I'm all tapped out." I said.
The biker couple looked smug. Bella looked pissed off. "What's the matter, princess, are you upset your man can't hold his own in a game of pool?" Cat asked.
Bella smiled at her sweetly. "Um, Cat, I'd like a chance to win my boyfriend's money back. Would you play a game with me? I happen to have three thousand dollars right here. You see we just sold my car at the used car lot across the street."
"Uh, no, babe. I can't let you do that." I told Bella.
"Oh please, baby? You taught me everything I know." Bella looked up at me with her doe eyes then whispered. "Trust me."
Trust her in what? She's the worst pool player I've ever seen in my life. She's worse than Jasper and Emmett and they were pretty bad.
"If you insist." Cat said in a sickly sweet manner. "I'll go easy on you. My man and I happen to have three grand right here. Show them Boo-boo."
"Boo-boo?" I mouthed to Bella. She started chuckling.
"Baby?" Bella said to me. "Can you order me a double shot of Jack straight? I need some dutch courage."
I ordered the drink and Bella downed it. "Why don't I break?" Bella said to Cat.
Holy mother of God and Sweet Jesus! Hallelujah! That was the cleanest fucking break I've ever seen. Cat and Boo-boo looked terrified.
"I'll take solids." Bella muttered. She sunk every solid ball in plus the eight ball, held out her hand and said, "I'll take my cash now."
Cat threw the cash on the table. "You fucking bitch! You played us!"
"I know." Bella said smugly and grabbed the cash. "Come on, baby. Let's get outta here."
I grabbed Bella's hand and started heading for the door when a beer bottle came crashing down on my head.
I turned around and saw Boo-boo and six of his minions blocking the exit. Cat sauntered up to Bella. "I want my money back, bitch."
"Oh you're a sore loser, aren't you? I won that cash fair and square. Let me remind you that you were the one that wanted to swindle my car money off of me." Bella snapped.
Cat tried to throw a punch, but Bella grabbed her fist. "Don't even think about it, bitch." Bella warned.
I was hoping the biker gang would go away, but I guess today wasn't my lucky day because this mammoth sized dude decided to give me an uppercut at that moment.
"Aaaaagghhh! What the fuck are you?" He yelped in pain when I didn't even flinch.
"I've got a metal plate in my jaw from an industrial accident." I said. "Are you fuckers gonna move out of the way or what?"
"Not until we get our money back." Boo-boo growled—at least I think it was a growl.
"You know something, Boo-boo?" A big, ugly bald guy piped in. "I don't think they need to pay us back. His woman can pay us back—on her back." The biker gang all started laughing and surrounded Bella.
Well, now that's it! You don't go and insult any woman in my company ever! Wham! I broke the offending fucker's nose just as Bella gave him a swift human powered kick in the groin.
The entire bar suddenly erupted into a huge melee. It seemed as though everyone was fighting. Cat tried to punch Bella's stomach, but hit solid marble instead and broke her hand. We had to get out of there before the cops showed up.
I grabbed Bella and got us the hell outta dodge and into the truck. "That was so much fun!" Bella said excitedly as we hit the highway.
"What the hell was that Bella?" I asked. "I thought you couldn't shoot pool!"
"Oh that, I was just stroking your ego."
"Stroking my ego? My ego didn't need stroking!" I fumed, then I thought about it. "Alright, maybe it needed a little stroking."
Bella smirked. "After you got hustled, I had to win your money back for ya."
"Thanks, that was good thinking. How often do you do this?"
"Oh, here and there." Bella said nonchalantly. She pulled my wallet out and stuffed some cash inside. "Fifteen hundred bucks. Your half of tonight's winnings. Of course, you lost a thousand so really you only made five hundred, but that's still five hundred more than you started with."
I was completely bewildered. How come she could play so well? "Where the fuck did you learn how to shoot pool, Bella?"
"Oh, I just...hang on a second, it's Jasper calling." Bella answered her cell. "Hello?"
"Where the fuck are you, Bella? It's one in the morning! I've been trying to text you all night. I've been worried sick about you!" Jasper yelled. "I need you home. My hair's all fucked up!"
"I'm hanging out with Pete. I should be home soon."
"What the fuck are you doing with Pete? Why didn't you call?"
"I did—twice. Did you check your voicemail?"
"Uh, no, guess I forgot." He said sheepishly. "You still haven't told me what you're doing out with him."
"We're bonding." She said. "Now calm your ass down, listen to the two messages I left, and I should be home shortly." Click. She ended the call.
"Bonding, huh?" I asked.
"Yeah, bonding." She winked. "So, your job this week is to find a new place for us to two-step and hustle pool at. Shouldn't be too hard, right?"
"You do realize that you're corrupting me?"
"Yes, I do, but you need to let go and forget about all the fuckery that's come your way recently, and I'm here to help you forget." She said, in a matter of fact way.
"Hey, Bella?"
"Hm?" She looked up at me.
"Thanks." I kissed her on her cheek. I was grateful. Grateful to have a friend who listened to my problems and was simply there for me when I needed her.
I pulled up in front of my apartment, Bella hopped into the driver's seat. "I had fun today, Pete. I'll see you later this week."
I waved to Bella as she drove away, happy to have some of the stress off of me. Now, I just need to get through tomorrow.
Bella's POV
I walk into the house and the first thing Jasper does is carry me to our bedroom and start sniffing me all over. "Jasper, did you listen to the voicemail messages? I told you that I was helping Pete set up his apartment in the first one and in the second one, I said we were going out."
"Yeah, well, I don't trust Pete." Jasper stated.
"Why not? He's your closest brother." I asked.
"He lusts after you, Bella. More so than everyone else—that's why. I don't want you going out with him without me."
"You're telling me who I can and can't go out with now?" I asked.
"Yes." He said stubbornly.
"Fine." I said. I got up, went downstairs, and walked out of the house.
"Bella? Bella!" Jasper was right behind me. "Where are you going?"
"I don't have to answer you, Jasper. You're not my keeper." I stated flatly. I kept walking and he followed me.
"Bella, you can go out with whomever you want—just not Pete."
I ignored him and kept walking. "Say something, Bella! Are you gonna go see him? Is that where you're going?"
No fucking way was I talking to him in this state. I suddenly felt Jasper's arms go around me and pick me up. I tried to claw my way out, but he was holding me in such a way that I was completely incapacitated. The fucker walked back to the house, threw me on the bed, and ripped my clothes off so I couldn't leave without getting dressed.
"You aren't going anywhere, Bella!" He growled.
"Fuck you!" I yelled, trying to get up. I slapped him across his face. He pinned me down so I couldn't move.
"That can be arranged!" He hollered back. "Now you're gonna listen to me tell you why I don't want you going out with Peter!"
"Speak, then!" I spat back. I felt absolutely degraded that Jasper ripped my clothes off. He didn't have to do that.
"He wants you, Bella. He wishes that Char were more like you. He told me so the other day. I don't want to lose you to him."
"You're being fucking irrational, Jasper. Peter was really down and depressed about Char today—he just needed a friend to hang out with. You were playing paintball! Your hair looks fucked up, by the way."
"I don't want to lose you, Bella! I can't lose you, Bella!"
"Even if he did tell you that he wanted me. Why the fuck would you even think that I'd want Peter? How the fuck can you even formulate that?"
"He's the most like me, that's why! Out of everyone, he's the one that I'd be most likely to lose you to!" Jasper cried out desperately. I guess I'll have to put my issues to the back burner and deal with my mate first.
I put my hands on his face to try to calm him down. "Jasper, I love you and only you. What I feel for Pete is only sisterly love and, honestly, incest isn't my thing. I'm not going to stop going out with Peter, though. That would be like me telling you that you can't go out with Char or Tanya. I'd never do that to you."
My husband had venom tears brimming his eyes. I can't believe that my hanging out with Peter brought forth all of this insecurity in him. Jasper rolled onto his back. I made a decision then, "Are you done with your paper?"
"Yeah, why? It's by the printer next to yours."
"We're skipping classes for a couple of days, that's why. We'll just drop these off and email our professors stating that we have the flu. There's one going around anyway." I walked downstairs, grabbed the papers, and waited impatiently for Jasper.
"You can't go, Bella."
"What? We're gonna go through this again!" I was seething.
"No, it's just that you're naked."
I looked down and realized that, in fact, I was unclothed. Oops. "A minor technicality—let me just get dressed." I walked back upstairs with my chin held high and threw some clothes on. I came back down and we left the house.
Jasper fired up the truck. "Where are we going?"
"No idea. We have to drop these papers off first."
"Bella, how are we supposed to drop these papers off. The university is locked up."
"Take a right out of the driveway, baby." I said. "Okay, drive down six houses. Stop." I threw the papers in the mailbox along with a note that stated that Jasper and I were incapacitated due to the flu.
"Are you telling me that we live on the same street as the fucking Yankee sympathizer?"
"Yes, Jasper. The street we live on is commonly known as Professor's Row. Most students live on the other side of town near Pete. They can't afford to live on this street."
"He's bringing down the fucking property values, we're gonna be overrun by students. You wait, Bella."
"Oh my God, Jasper! He was here first. He's probably lived here at least thirty years. You live in Massachusetts! This is Yankee territory—technically you're encroaching on their land! Why the fuck am I having this conversation with you and why is your hair blue and green?"
"Paint ball and we're having this conversation because I'm sorry I was a hard headed schmo about Pete!"
"Apology accepted now get on I-90 and drive west. We're going to Niagara Falls, I've always wanted to go there."
"Fine! I need to get my hair buzzed when we get there. I shampooed it four times and it's still this color.
"Who won anyway?" I asked.
"Fucking Rex. He ambushed me and Garrett in the end. It wasn't really fair anyway, Garrett and I aren't used to these new fangled automatic weapons. We used real guns during our wars."
Gah! My husband's trying to make excuses for the fact that he was completely emasculated on the field by Rex. If the dunderhead did his research, he'd know that American tactical military training has advanced throughout the years. Of course, Rex was going to win. He was in the military within the last ten years and for longer than both Garrett and Jasper combined.
"Aren't automatic weapons supposed to be easier?" I asked.
"No! They're made for idiots who can't fire a proper gun." He grumbled. I am not driving all the way to fucking Canada with a pissy assed husband. The boar better check himself.
I started laughing. "This is serious Bella, Garrett and I were talking and we agreed that after the Civil War, our military has gotten progressively worse. I mean, automatic weapons, Bella? We've gone soft. They need to start retraining using muskets, rifles, and swords."
"Sure, Jasper, we'll train our military using archaic weapons while the rest of the world uses modern ones." I pointed out. "Besides, I thought the Confederate Army used Colt 1851 Revolvers and Hawken Rifles."
"Bella?"
"What?"
"Just shut up and let me spout my bullshit. I'm pissed. I hate losing."
He finally stopped his rant somewhere near Schenectady, New York and we had a mostly quiet ride until we arrived in Niagara Falls, Canada. "Please tell me you have our passports in your purse."
"I always do, you know that. You told me to carry them both just in case." I said.
"Phew!"
We crossed the border without any problems and made our way into Canada. "This has to be the tackiest fucking town I've ever been in." I said.
"Yeah, it is. The only attraction is Niagara Falls—once you see that you're done. Why don't we take a look at the Falls then drive to Toronto instead? It's only an hour and a half from here." Jasper suggested.
I took a look around and decided he was right. Besides, with our vampire hearing, we could hear the rushing of the falls in the background everywhere. It sounded like a vacuum cleaner was operating constantly. "Okay, that's enough. Let's get out of here. The noise from the Falls is driving me bonkers."
Jasper started the truck up and headed towards Toronto. "I figured you'd say that. Now get over here and give me some sugar. You haven't even given me a hug since yesterday morning."
"That's cause you had your Fred Flintstone hat on. You were so pissy."
"I know. I'm sorry. I had a bad day. I lost in paintball, you weren't home, and I couldn't get the paint out of my hair. On top of that, everyone kept calling me Sexsper because of that phone call from Edward after prom."
"Well, you are kind of a sex expert, aren't ya? At least you're my sex expert. You should be honored that he called you."
"Yeah, well, that's another thing that bothers me. How come the little shit yelled your name out when he came?" He was visibly upset.
"Uh, Jasper, your ex-wife was screaming your name in the throes of ecstasy yesterday as she impaled her pussy with a Rabbit. Don't you think that bothered me?" I asked.
"Yeah, of course it bothered you, it bothered me too. That's the thing, Bella. Everything is just so fucked up. I'm really beginning to feel like we should say 'fuck it' and just move away from the area—just the two of us."
"I know what you mean. I'm beginning to feel a little overwhelmed. I know your circuits are fried too. That's why I suggested this little getaway. I'm thinking that maybe we need a longer vacation in the summer though."
"How come your clothes smelled like smoke and liquor yesterday?" He sniffed my hair. "Actually your hair still smells like it. My scent's all gone too."
"Oh, well, after we got everything for Pete at Ikea and Walmart, we went to have drinks and talk at a place called The Charlie Horse. I think you'd like it there, by the way, but I'm not so sure if Pete and I can go back." I stated.
"Why not?"
"Oh, we got attacked by a biker gang after I hustled them out of three grand playing pool."
"WHAT?" Predictably, Jasper flipped his lid.
"To be fair, Pete was hustled out of a thousand bucks playing pool so I had to win it back for him. Then, when we tried to leave, the biker gang the couple was with decided to impale Pete's head with a beer bottle and surround us. We tried to get out, but then one ugly ass guy said something about gang raping me so Pete broke his nose. Then we high-tailed it out of there."
Jasper whipped his phone out and placed a call. "Pete, thanks for defending Bella's honor and breaking that asshat biker dude's nose. Anytime you wanna chill with Bella, it's okay by me."
"Hey, thanks, bro. I know you would have done the same for me if it were Char. Hey, I've gotta go. I have to finish up the suspension on this guy's car before he gets back. I'll see you guys later in the week."
"Well, that was nice of you, Jasper. Does that mean I can go out with Pete from time to time?" I asked.
"Yeah, I was being a bonehead. Sorry." Surprisingly, he didn't say a word about me hustling pool. Maybe it just went over his head. Good. Rose and I were planning to charter a yacht this summer for our men.
We checked into a hotel, grabbed the room key, and left without even being shown to our rooms. We needed clothes and Jasper desperately needed to get something done with his hair. He looked like a circus freak.
"Babe, I love just hanging out with you. I wish we could do this all the time." He said. "How about after we're done with our master's degrees we travel around the world just the two of us."
"I actually like that idea. I've always wanted to go to Australia." I said.
"Hell, we can go anywhere in the world. I don't care as long as I'm with you."
"Okay, baby let's start with the hairdresser right here. I don't think I can look at you any longer." I suggested.
"Good idea."
An hour later...
"I look like a fucking Marine! Did he have to take it all off?" Jasper lamented his lost hair.
"It'll grow back, Jasper. You look kind of sexy like that." I soothed.
"I feel bald." He cried.
"You're not bald, you just have a crew cut. Stop growling. You're drawing attention to us."
"This is Rex's fault. Why the fuck did he have to aim for my head. Couldn't he shoot me in the stomach or something?"
"Why the fuck didn't you cover your head with a bandana or something?" I asked.
"I didn't think I'd lose." He grumbled.
"Come on, let's go get some clothes. I actually want to go shopping. Doesn't that make you happy?" I tried cheering him up.
"Bella, you only want to go shopping because we have to. No luggage, remember?"
"What difference does that make? You know what? I want you to spoil me during this trip. Please, Jasper, please?"
"Alright, beautiful, let's go." He said.
Geez! The things I have to do to keep my husband happy. Sometimes I wonder. I fucking abhor shopping, but I'm willing to do it just to keep him smiling. My number one priority is to keep him content even if it means putting myself second. I really can't stand it when he's feeling down.
I took a look at my brooding husband. His hair does look sexy though. I feel like ravishing him. I wonder if he'd throw on Marine fatigues for me and strip them off slowly.
"What are you thinking about, baby?" He suddenly turned to me and asked.
"Sex," I answered, "with you."
Jasper's eyes turned pitch black. "Fuck shopping."
So, Peter is finally doing some hard thinking about his relationship with Charlotte, isn't he? What did you think of his newfound friendship with Bella and Jasper's reaction to it? Let me know what you think and I'll write back. XOXO