Hi,
Here's a parody I translated in English the best I could because it's not my native language. Sorry in advance if I made English mistakes. Let me know what you think if you feel like. 😊
Tonight Bella is home alone and is about to have a movie night. Just as she has put EZ Pop on the stove, the phone rings. She walks to the living room although she could have picked up the one in the kitchen. But that's part of the script. Quietly, Bella picks up.
-Hello.
A maniac-like breathing can only be heard before the anonymous person hangs up. Apparently not caring, she does not look concerned. As Bella Swan walks to the kitchen once again to check if the little silver pan is taking shape, the phone rings again. At this moment, she goes back there without hurrying and picks up.
-Hello.
His monotone voice ... But the truth is. This call which seems disturbing, she doesn't care.
-Uh ...
However, a grimace of interrogative when some sort of inaudible whispering buzzes like a bee in her ear. Bella hangs up.
Two seconds later, the phone rings again. Still calm, she picks up.
-Hello. Sighing slightly.
At last!
-Bella?
-Yes.
-How are you?" asks the mysterious boy with a halting voice.
He seems to be a bit of a klutz.
Her eyebrows furrow, beginning to wonder. A little.
-Huh? . It's okay. Who are you?" she asks quietly, worrying more about cooking the popcorn.
"I hope it doesn't burn."
-Huh? ... Are you Bella?
She sighs again, rolling her eyes.
-You've already said that. I don't want to be rude, but I have popcorn on the stove and I'm hungry now.
-Oh sorry.
The boy, apparently suffering from a crippling shyness due to his excessive emotionality, gets very nervous and hangs up. Having the feeling that the phone is going to ring again, Bella quickly runs to the kitchen, the cordless house phone in her hand. Once in front of the glass-ceramic stove, she is relieved.
-Oh, good. It didn't burn.
It's then turned off and EZ Pop is removed. As expected ... DUN DUN DUNNNN! The phone rings. Will there be an end to it? Honestly! Won't this little phone tag get on your nerves? It would scare the hell out of you, we agree.
-Hello.
-Ex ... Excuse me.
The voice is stuttering now. Probably he feels nervous again.
-You're not a psychopath, aren't you? -She asks in a still monotone voice.
-Uh? no.
This question makes him less nervous and would even make him laugh or smile.
-Okay.
-Why?
-No, because yesterday I watched Scream. You know. A psycho who is dressed up as Ghostface. The first scene of the movie shows a girl alone at home who gets a weird phone call and the guy keeps calling back. Besides, she's planning on having a movie night and eating popcorn. Just like me.
At any time, she gets scared while having realized frightening similarity of the situation.
-Sorry. I've never seen it.
-Oh, you haven't? Well, it's a classic of its kind. It's genre-bending work.
-And... What are you doing?
-I'm planning on watching Snow White.
-It's not a movie?
-No. It's Snow White and the Huntsman.
-Oh, right. Where are you right now?
-I'm walking to the living room with my little pan of popcorn.
- Is it does it taste good? ?
Bella's eyes widen unnoticeably
-You, I mean, you've never had any?
-Uh... No.
-Yes, it's good.
-Come on, ask her.
-Are there two of you?
Another intelligible whisper this time, was heard.
-Well ... Well, I have to hang up.
The boy has the decency to warn her but in a very fast voice that is like the chipmunks.
-I mean, what. Damn it, Edward. Why didn't you tell her?
Jasper Hale, a sort of adopted brother who has grown a little bit a backbone, is desappointed and looks at him ... With crazy eyes. The mystery boy on the phone then takes his head in his hands, saying himself to be stupid.
-Listen. We're not going to live forever in the 21 st century. How will you manage things when we'll enter 22 st century?
And suddenly, Edward lifts his head before fear changes the beautiful color of his feline look. He realizes that the girl he likes, totally in love with, is mortal and that she will be dead. A frightful cry makes immediately shake all Forks, unlocking in its path all the doors of the houses, including Bella's house. And an icy wind penetrates immediately in the rooms, pushing her to venture towards the front door. She finds herself instantly face to face with ... A person in a costume. Big black dress, ghost mask.
-Halloween is tomorrow.
She closes the door without having had the slightest fright, leaving Ghostface disconcerted. At the same moment, Charlie Swan arrives in his car, driving without speeding while the killer of the first Scream (Billy Loomis or Stu Macher?) leaves, disappointed. Walking down the same road and towards the moving car, he decides to throw himself on the hood of it to scare someone.
-I didn't come all this way for nothing, he shouts like a lunatic.
Bella's father slams on the brakes and then, in an unnatural way, Ghostface finds himself tied up around a large oak tree.
-Help, help! Untie me!" he screams.
Three minutes later, doesn't seem worried, like father like daughter, small-town sheriff goes in house, welcomed by Bella.
-I thought I heard a big bang outside.
-Oh! That? Huh? ... I don't know, actually.
And shrugs his shoulders.
Meanwhile, outside, Ghostface keep screaming for help. Until someone finally hears him.
-Hello.
-OH! NO! PITY! ... What are those teeth?
-All the better to suck the blood out of you, you jerk. Don't use that disgusted and surprised voice. Can't you see that I'm a vampire!
The creature of the night resumes his very threatening air and bites him deeply through the fabric of the disguise, at the level of the neck. Like in an apple.
-What a screaml! he is slightly shocked before watching Snow White with her daughter not very expressive as for her.
-Yeah, it's weird.