Chapter 10

Seth's P.O.V

I ran until the ground beneath me broke away into the ocean, forcing me to stop. It seemed the path I'd chosen had led me to the coastline.

As I came to the edge of the high cliffs I closed my eyes and breathed deeply trying to clear my mind with the salty, fresh air. Despite how I felt it seemed the ocean was incredibly calm today, gently lapping at the cliffs bases, only a light breeze tugging at my hair. Even the skies seemed light and fluffy instead of their usual dull dreariness, the one time I didn't want them to be.

I had decided to stay in my human form the entire trip here, wishing to my keep my thoughts my own and not really wanting to hear the thoughts of others. Their faces had said enough.

I dropped to the ground with a sigh, drawing my legs to my chest and rested my chin on my knees looking out into the ocean. It was easy to get lost here, there was just so much to see and feel and smell, it could take you away from anything. I was beginning to realise why Leah came here.

The whole time I sat there, the events of the past two days replayed in my mind.

The finding, the waiting, the talking, the hiding, the anger - so much anger, the faces of fear.

Each time it would come to where I was now and I would try and decide where to go from here. The fact that I was still here though was almost a choice in itself as it showed I couldn't make a decision, or wouldn't.

I don't know how long I sat there for as I couldn't see the suns progression through the clouds, but it seemed too soon that my quietness was interrupted. Behind me someone was approaching, I glanced out of habit over my shoulder and wasn't really surprised when I saw Sam. I turned back around and started to busy myself with the grass by my foot, readying myself for the lecture I was about to hear. No sooner, Sam came and sat right next to me. There was a tense silence between us as neither of us said anything. Confused I glanced at him through the corner of my eye. He was looking out to sea, his face composed.

"I didn't come here to lecture you Seth." he finally said still not looking at me. I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. "I came to make sure you weren't being too hard on yourself."

"Yes because that would be totally unreasonable of me wouldn't it." I muttered sarcastically.

"Seth..."

"No, did you see me just now? What I did?... I think I deserve it."

"It wasn't all your fault Seth." He tried to urge me. I scoffed.

"Really? Because last time I checked it was just me attacking those men... unless you guys did something while I was gone. "

He sighed before leaving a solid silence between us, I think he was waiting for me to calm down and drop the sarcasm. Like hell was that going to happen. I bounced my knee restlessly as I waited, staring out to where the sky met the ocean.

"Seth... no one blames you for how you reacted." He finally stated with a pause, expecting an outburst from me, when I said nothing he continued. "I mean were not happy that it happened, but, it wasn't all your fault." I finally turned to look at him, intrigued by his way of thinking.

"You keep saying that but it was entirely my fault. I didn't listen to any of you, I did the wrong thing even though I knew it would end badly, I turned on my own pack!" I said appalled remembering Paul. "I was selfish and stubborn and... imprinted." I finished emotionally, turning away. It was true all of this had been brought on by stupid imprinting.

"Okay firstly, the way you found out about this whole thing didn't help at all." Sam continued.

"You mean me finding out at all?" I asked bitingly unable to help it. Hey, they had lied to me.

"No. you should have heard it straight from me, no secrets." He said remorsefully. "I'm your alpha and I should have acted like one by talking to you straight out about it. If I had done that maybe this whole confrontation could have been avoided. So it's my fault too and I'm sorry." He said apologetically. I opened my mouth to argue but he raised his hand to silence me.

Did he honestly think I would have listened to him? When I had found out, my way of thinking was scary. I doubt anything could have stopped me.

"Secondly," Sam continued "I guarantee that if any of the other guys had been in your situation, it would have gone the exact same way, worse even. I' can't even predict how I would react."

"But that's it isn't it?" I spoke up even though Sam gave me a look that told me not to interrupt. I know he was trying to make me feel better but he was also confirming my fears. "We are incapable of controlling ourselves when it comes to our imprints. It's like everything goes to shit as soon as imprints are involved. You saw what I did, what I became. None of that would have happened if it wasn't for my imprint." I finished angrily. "She's changing me and I don't like it.".

Sam couldn't deny this, it was a fact. Every feeling is intensified tenfold when imprints were involved.

"Thirdly," Sam continued as if not interrupted, which thoroughly irked me, "she isn't making you like this Seth. You have always had 'scary Seth' inside of you, it's just that you haven't had to use him before. I'm sure that if it had have been Leah or someone else you really care about, you would have reacted the same. It's because you care Seth." He finished softly.

I stayed reluctantly silent. I still didn't like it.

"I just don't know how to handle this Sam, how am I meant to do this for the rest of my life?"

"In time everything will fall into place," he placed a firm hand on my shoulder. "Like it was written in the stars or something." I still didn't look convinced. "Look Seth, she's your imprint for a reason, you and her were meant to be. Only good things can come from it." He reassured.

I nodded solemnly. Although his words had made sense I still felt uneasy about the whole thing. I wasn't sure I was ready to be imprinted Seth.

"Before. I didn't phase. I felt like I was going too but I didn't." I asked with a confused frown as I suddenly remembered.

"Yes I've been thinking about that," he said with a frown. "I have a few theory's but I'm not one hundred percent sure which it could be."

I nodded, urging him to continue.

"I'd say the most obvious reason would be that previously when I have ordered you not to be seen as a wolf it still applied, you couldn't disobey an order so you dealt with it the only way you could, in human form. However," He paused. "I also ordered you to leave the situation but you didn't,"

I looked down ashamed.

", which leads me to believe that you have better control of your phasing and wolf then you give yourself credit for, like maybe non-scary Seth was in the back of your mind making sure things didn't get too out of hand." Sam finally finished looking at me thoughtfully.

There was a long silence while I mulled over his theory. Maybe I was stronger then we all thought. I just couldn't help thinking how glad I was that something had stopped me, things could have been so much worse otherwise.

"So, what do I do now?" I asked breaking the silence. I'd left a mess in so many places with so many people. Where would I begin?

"Well, I know there's a very worried mother back home, seems convinced her son is off to join Jacob."

"What?" I asked shocked having not expected that, although that was totally mum to go flying off the handle. I sighed, "I guess I should probably start there, but what about the hunters? Surely there not letting this go quietly?" I asked remembering the chaos I had left behind.

Sam grimaced glancing back towards the ocean before looking back at me. "What you have to understand is they were going to press charges…"

"Charges?" I repeated shocked.

"Unless… We dropped the ones against them."

"So there walking scot-free?" I asked horrified.

Sam nodded morosely. "I'm sorry."

A shiver shook my body as anger flared up inside me. I clenched my jaw and balled my hands into fists. I took a deep breathe, trying to calm myself. "What about my actions, they weren't exactly normal." I stated in a forced calm voice. The corner of Sam's mouth turned up.

"Some how I doubt they'll be telling their mates they got beat up by a teenager." he said with a slight hint of humour. I grimaced, my trembles ceasing. Immediately Sam's face dropped. "It's been taken care of don't worry... Come on, we shouldn't keep your mum waiting any longer." He stated getting up.

"Yeah probably not," I said getting up also, mum was probably freaking out. "Hey Sam," I said as we made our way away from the cliffs

"Yeah?" he said stopping and looking at me.

"Thanks." I said bashfully, "And I'm really sorry." I finished sincerely.

Sam smiled, "It's okay Seth. Just, don't do it again okay?" he added with a poke to the chest. I nodded with a small guilty smile.

As Sam and I walked in through the back sliding door of my house we were met by a very irrate mother whose glare would make any alpha jealous.

"Seth Harry Clearwater... come here." She demanded pointing in front of her. I walked timidly towards her and in a flash was promptly engulfed in a hug by my short mother. I swear had I not been a werewolf the grip she had on me would have left serious bruises. "You had me worried sick! Never do that again please." She scolded hugging me tightly

"I'm sorry mum. It won't happen again." I said hugging her back.

"And don't think for a second there won't be consequences for your actions, you and I are going to have a long serious talk mister." she lectured pulling away. I stared at my feet ashamed. "Sam I hope you gave him a good talking to." My eyes flickered to Sam.

"Yes ma'am." He said seriously, his eyes giving away his amusement though. "And don't worry, there will be consequences in the pack as well." He said giving me a look that said, 'we'll talk later'. "Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to head over to Billy's, let him know what's happening." And he went to walk out the back door.

Without thinking I made a step to follow him. My thoughts, wants, needs, everything going immediately to Allira who was also at Billy's. However I stopped myself just as quickly, making my body do this awkward turn-step-twitch which everyone in the room seemed to notice.

After everything that had happened today I didn't feel ready to see Allira. I no longer trusted myself or the person I became when it came to her, so although every fibre within me protested, I withheld the urge to follow Sam to Billy's house.

My Mother not realising the internal battle going on inside my head mistook my awkward step as my original intention.

"You will do no such thing." Mum ordered. "Not looking and smelling like that you won't."

I looked down at myself for the first time. I was covered from head to toe in dirt and sweat and now that I looked at it I could see droplets of blood on me from the hunters. I grimaced. "You look like you've been living in the forest for weeks, you're showering." Mum stated again, hey I couldn't argue with her I probably smelled a right state as well.

"Alright then, well Seth if I don't see you, tomorrow pack meeting at Billy's, ten a.m."

"Thank you Sam." Mum said genuinely, and with that he nodded to the room before we watched him disappear out the door. As I turned back to face mum I smiled weakly and she sighed before hugging me again.

"I'm glad your home, I thought we were going to have another Jacob on our hands."

"Mum."

"I'm sorry but it's true." She said looking up at me. "Are you okay? Do you wanna talk?"

"Yeah I'm fine, I think I should have that shower though." I said smiling weakly again.

"Okay hun." She said stroking my cheek. I walked away before pausing, she looked at me questioningly.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for… everything." I said regretfully before turning and trudging up the stairs.

As I entered the corridor Leah walked out of her room. "So, your back then." She said folding her arms.

"Ahh yeah…." I replied awkwardly.

"So Mum's calmed down now, good, I can go downstairs again." She said somewhat relieved. She went to pass me but paused. "Is anyone else down there?" she asked disinterested, she didn't have to explain why it would matter to her.

"Ahh no, it's just Mum."

"Okay cool….eerrgh you reek Seth." she said pinching her nose and walking past me, making sure to leave a huge gap around me.

"So everyone keeps saying..." I muttered to myself, "Hey Leah?" I asked turning and following her, she stopped and watched me warily still pinching her nose.

"I just wanted to apologise for being an ass to you before," I said awkwardly.

"You were a huge ass actually." She corrected matter-o-factly.

"Okay, a huge ass." I corrected myself. She smirked at me as I said it. "You really helped me out last night and it was a shitty way of thanking you." I said ruefully. "So Sorry and thank you... for being there." I ran it through my mind a couple of times after saying it to see if it made sense.

"It's okay... for both." she said nodding slowly, amused.

"Cool," I breathed relieved. There was an awkward silence where we just nodded at each other until I thought what the hell and raised my arms.

"Na ah, no way Seth, not when you look and smell like that." she said pointing at me.

"Come on Leah..." I said playfully walking towards her.

"No Seth, get away from me, I'm not afraid to hurt you." she said warningly beginning to walk backwards. I dropped my arms, sighing dramatically and made to turn towards the bathroom but in a second quickly turned the other way and launched myself at Leah, getting her in a crushing hug.

"SETH! GET OFF ME RIGHT NOW! I swear to God!" she screamed at me, trying to get out of the hold I had on her. I finally let go and just narrowly miss a swipe from Leah as I jogged to bathroom, grinning all the way. I could hear Leah fuming all the way down the corridor and stairs.

"Ahhh! Seth I'm gona kick your ass for this! Damit now I'm going to have to have another shower, MUM!"

I laughed to myself as I entered the bathroom, I loved my sister.

As I stood in front of the mirror I had to do a double take at the person in it, was that me?

The person in the mirror looked aged and tired, nothing close to a young teenager it was meant to be. My eyes were blood shot with bags under them and my face was shiny with sweat and smudges of dirt, even my lips were dry and cracked. Grabbing at my hair I found it dusty and greasy, sitting at all sorts of odd angles.

Huh, mum and Leah weren't joking.

Knowing that my body was in much the same state, I quickly stripped off my shorts and jumped into the shower under the streaming jet. I watched as the water pooled at my feet no longer clear but pretty much black with dirt as it ran off me.

As the heat of the water washed over me, although only slightly warmer than myself, I began to realise how tired and fatigued I really was. The continuous warmth sinking into my muscles, mixed with the varying calming smells of the soaps was making me sleepy.

Not wanting to fall asleep in the shower I quickly turned off the warm water and doused myself in icy cold water before hopping out. Goosebumps immediately rose on my skin as I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, there was a vast improvement.

Now clean and slightly more awake I dried my hair and moved into my room. As I threw on a pair of shorts and a tee my stomach let a massive growl that seemed to echo in my stomach. I glanced out the window to see the sun slowly setting over the forest. That meant I hadn't eaten all day. My stomach gurgled again and I suddenly felt very hollow.

It seemed that now there was no adrenaline or crazy emotion going on in my body I was starting to feel its normal functions again. How I had not noticed this hunger and tiredness before is beyond me.

As I somewhat dragged myself down stairs my eyelids sagging, a drool worthy smell wafted past my nose. The rich smell of tomatoes and mince were drifting from the kitchen and I found myself following it.

"Now Seth that's a lot better isn't it?" Mum said coming over to me as I entered the kitchen. "You look like a different person almost." She chuckled, brushing at a strand of my damp hair. I didn't look at her though. My eyes were fixed on the large bowl of spaghetti and meatballs sitting on the table. Mum sighed.

"Go on, help yourself, I know you must be starving."

In one fluid movement I slide into a chair and started piling my plate with food. As I pretty much inhaled the glorious food Leah watched from across the table with a disgusted expression.

"I think I'm going to wait till he's finished." she said standing up and leaving the room. Ehh, her loss, I thought. Snob.

I cannot express how good this food tasted. It was just so satisfying, like I hadn't eaten in weeks. I hadn't even realised how hungry I was until now.

It wasn't till I finished pretty much all that was on the table that I finally felt full. I leaned back against my chair and patted my stomach contently. It was now the fatigue hit me like a freight train. Not only was I already sleepy from next to no sleep the night before but now I was also showered and fed, all I needed was a comfortable place and... Stifling a yawn I rested my eyes for a second.

"Seth," I jumped up in my chair as mum touched my shoulder gently. "Why don't you go to bed?" she said.

I looked at her through droopy eyes and nodded, getting up from my chair. I virtually staggered my way upstairs, dragging my feet before I finally made it to my room and collapsed on my bed. Not bothering to undress or move from my current position, I was out the second I closed my eyes. My last conscience thought on the dull ache in my chest that craved Allira.