We've been at this for the past hour and a half, standing over my [Terminal], which looks like a retro arcade machine, next to the front door...

"Irregular at Magic High School!"

"No."

Jumpchan can't seem to guess which world I want to go to. Without fail, all she's been listing off so far are anime magic schools!

…

Okay, I probably should have seen that coming. She's literally appearing to me as a magical anime fairy girl after all.

"High Guardian Spice!"

At that, I kneel over the terminal I'm standing at, and wheeze, before managing to sputter out, "What the hell!? No! There's a jump for that place!?"

"Eheh...Well, you'd be surprised."

"I would really rather no-" She holds up a finger and perks suddenly.

"I got it! Little Witch Academia!"

Alright. Done with this shit! "Harry Potter."

"HAHA! Yes! I- Wait. Whaaa?" The fairy is now staring at me like I grew a second head.

I let out a very long, very tired sigh.

"Magic School. Harry Potter? Ya know? Every kid's childhood dream school...for some reason." Like, really. The place is a death trap. "I wanna go there for the wide variety of cantrip-like spells; teleportation, telekinesis, shields, various curses and hexes, and more at my fingertips."

"Eh? That's it?"

I scoff, "No, the real deal there is the potions. Other settings have your standard health pots, mana pots, ya know, the basics. Harry Potter has luck potions, truth potions, straight-up death, and shape-shifting potions...oh yeah. That's the real reward."

"...Dorian, you're shaking."

"With excitement! Potions alone are broken! But the entire world is full of broken shit! Also, it's relatively safe for a first jump...as long as I gain power quick enough and leave Riddle to Dumble."

"Hmmm?" The fairy got obnoxiously close to the side of my face, "What happened to 'breaking the plot over your knee'?"

Ah, that promise. "Oh, I will...I just know my limitation right now. I can't off Riddle myself right off the bat...but! I can cripple his entire power base..."

She looks at me intently, raising an eyebrow, "You mean...Slytherin?"

I can feel the smirk slowly climbing across my face, "Yup. I will bend that entire house over my leg and spank it until it's mine. I'm gonna covert all the little bastards in there out of their blood purity bullshit, and with my friend making and charisma perks...well..."

"Oh my...Heh, alright, alright! What about Draco and Pansy?"

"Sink or swim, either they join up and change or run off to He-Who-Needs-A-Better-Name."

And at that, she grins, with an almost manic-like glee, "Finally! You're gonna do something fun!" she smacks the terminal, causing it to actually power on, "I've got a couple of jump documents for Harry Potter! One standard, one generic fan-fiction!"

"First, you mean you stole a couple off Reddit, second, the standard one please. I've had enough generics for one century. Plus, I'm going to abuse the hell out of meta-knowledge for this."

She pouts hardcore over my first point but doesn't deny it as she snaps her fingers, causing the terminal to load the document up as a separate clickable app on the otherwise bland screen. The only other app on the terminal is just for configuring the robots.

Ah, that reminds me. I look around the house...and see it absolutely trashed. Like a hurricane blew through.

Fucking cats.

Okay. So the first order of business is to make sure my robots...who I'm now making unseen servants...keep the house clean and cosmic cat food bowls fed while I'm away.

A few minutes later, the front door next to me explodes open as unseen servants rush in and begin cleaning the place up.

Nice.

Now then, on too...!

~000~

HARRY POTTER CYOA (JUMPCHAIN COMPLIANT)

I have 2400 CP, plus 100 for items only.

My jump start date and age are automatically set for July 24th, 1991, and 11 respectively.

Nnngghh...11, huh. I...can live with that, I guess.

I will be the most non-kid-like 11-year-old though.

Origins... let's see...

Drop-In is grayed out, but all the other Origins are free due to my Universal Drawback. So I obviously pick Pureblood.

Gonna need all the respect I can get if I'm gonna make the stuck-up brats in the snake hole listen to me, being one of them means I automatically have somewhat of an in.

And for my first 100 CP, everybody is gonna want to be my friend since now my family is extremely wealthy! It doesn't give me any specific numbers, but it does say 'expect the best' so perhaps Malfoy levels? (2300 CP/100 Items Left.)

House choice is next, and I obviously choose the snakes. It fits me too well, I'd have gotten sorted into it without choosing anyways.

Ah! Skills and Abilities! Now, this is where the fun begins!

Freebies for my choices so far are [Clean Blooded] and [Great Cunning], which make me immune to illness and disease and a very good social manipulator alongside a danger sense.

The first one's kind of...meh. I was already considered healthy before, so I didn't get sick often. When I did though it was rather annoying. The second one paired up with my friend-making and charisma perks?

Oh yeah. Slytherin's gonna be my bitch by the time Riddle shows up.

Now for perks I can buy. I'm going to try and grab perks that allow me to do stuff others can't, or stuff that can't be learned since my perfect memory and enhanced learning speeds will make learning any magic a joke.

Starting from the top, then! [Parselmouth] for 100, discounted down due to my origin, gives me the ability to speak Parseltongue. Besides the ability to speak and control snakes, Dark Wizards and Slytherins are also more likely to like me. (2200/100 Items Left.)

I'm just farming those points to really rope them in, aren't I?

[Non-Verbal Specialty] for 200 makes it just as easy to cast spells without words as does for me with words. Technically, this is something I can learn, but that's only allowed at Hogwarts in the 6th year...more than halfway through my jump time. (2000/100 Items Left)

Combining this with my ability to learn spells fast and I should be able to punch way higher much faster than everyone else.

[Moste Potente Potions] for 300 is something I wouldn't usually pick, since I could easily learn and master practically via memory alone, but the last bit of the final sentence strikes me as...interesting. It reads, "...you are likely to come up with innovative, better ways to brew potions with new materials." Oh yeah. Yoinking it! (1700/100 Items Left)

Using my Universal Drawback to apply a discount to these next two perks, making them both 200, I pick up [Metamorphmagus] and [Fiendfyre Master]. Complete control over my appearance and the most dangerous and destructive fire in the world? As a rogue and pyromaniac, I must say...yoink! (1300/100 Items Left)

I'll be honest with this next one...I just really wanted to give myself glowing eyes and a crackling aura. Which for 200 is exactly what [The Only One He Ever Feared] does. It doesn't enhance magical power, but the appearance of power and sheer intimidation factor will do wonders! (1100/100 Items Left)

[Nullification] for 500, and [Wandless Magic] for 250 due to my origin are my next picks. (350/100 Items Left)

The first one, pure and simple, is broken. It's basically an on-command dispel magic, that also works on enchantments in places or objects. The only limit is I need to be able to see the spell or magic to nullify it, which is easily accomplished.

Riddle is so fucked.

The second one is for the same reason as [Non-Verbal Specialty], but even more important, as wandless magic is incredibly volatile in general, the perk just makes it as easy as normal. It also boosts my overall accuracy while spellcasting, a nice little buff.

A killing curse is useless if it doesn't hit, after all.

Next up, gear! Starting with the freebies!

A [Pet Owl], [Nimbus 2000] broomstick, and a [Dragon-Hide Jacket]. All for being wealthy. Curiously, the broomstick automatically comes with permission to have one at the school despite being the first year.

Ah, the perks of being a part of the 1% of the 1%.

The jacket would be really nice to wear around, but unfortunately one of my Universal Drawbacks will make it glow very obnoxiously in other worlds...unless I can change its composition to somehow match my current worlds.

Transfiguration, perhaps?

…

Something to test after this jump.

First things first, [Dark Arts Cache] for 50 due to my origin. Gives me a cache of 10 ancient books on the Dark Arts, apparently all restricted by Hogwarts and the Ministry. I fully intend on using the curses within on the death eaters dumb enough to try anything against, me, my school, or my house. (300/100 Items Only)

Especially my house.

In order to store all this stuff, I should probably pick up [Extended Mokeskin Pouch] since I won't have access to my warehou-

Suddenly, something clings to my back. "HOLD IT!" and shouts into my ear...!

"What!?"

"You don't need that!"

"...why?"

"You got something else from Generic First Jump!" she hops off my back, floats up, and points upwards...for some reason. "You can summon anything in your warehouse to your hand, and then store it away afterward!"

Wait. Really?

I hold my hand out to the side, willing my fiat stamps to my hand...

And suddenly, I'm clutching a small rectangular wooden box with a pink fairy stamp on it, I open it, and see a stamper sitting next to a blot of pink ink, holding the same fairy-like image.

I close it before willing it away, noting that I also know exactly what shelf it just went to. Top shelf, closest to the house on the right.

I turn slowly to Jumpchan, "...why am I just now finding out about this?"

"I thought you read the whole thing!"

"Someone was very pushy that I hurry it up!"

"Hmph!" And now she's pouting again. Heh.

"You can't seduce me with your cuteness, unfortunately! Try again later!"

"Not cute!" She grabs me and spins me back around so I'm facing the terminal again, "Now finish making your selections!"

Try as you might, you can't hide that blush I see! Heh!

Anyways, where was I? Right. Items.

Since my warehouse is basically my inventory...though I assume I won't be able to use it as such till my jump properly starts. Still, I can go a bit hog wild on items.

[Potion Reagents] for 300 gives me exactly what it says on the tin, though due to my Universal Drawback it'll take a couple of weeks longer than the two it says it should take to refill. Still, pretty good, and a necessity for me post jump if I wanna keep making potions.

I'll be using my 100 CP on items only on this one, to save 100 CP to convert to EP. (100/0 Items Left)

Hnngh...Look's like that's all. That sucked up my CP surprisingly quickly. Maybe I should leverage my freebies a little more? Try out Quidditch, even without the perk?

With just my Body Mod, I'm at my prime physically, I could make it work. Maybe it could be a challenge?

Because even though I also plan on going into the dueling circuit and reopening the dueling club early at school for magical fighting experience, I also know that after I get said experience I will be able to quickly outpace practically everyone.

Jumper perks are bullshit.

My last 100 CP is spent converting it to EP for my Body Mod, though I can't use it until after the jump is finished.

Lastly, I'm staring at the scenario screen. It asks if I want to pick one scenario, or goal, which changes my win condition to said goal rather than just surviving 10 years.

Only one really stands out to me, Minister for Magic. Become Minister, hold it for 7 years and suddenly the media is my propaganda machine. Literally, it says they will always try and spin things my way in the media unless I do something to them to cause them not to.

Corruption, a song and tool as old as time...after making a Hogwarts House my bitch, a proper challenge should be an entire magical government, right?

We'll see. I select it, and once I do the terminal rumbles, before spitting out the document in paper form from the top...somehow?

Jumpchan catches it and shoves it into her chest. "Niccee~!" she practically purrs.

Wait. I'm sorry, did she just fucking purr?

Alright. Forget just flirting and teasing the eldritch horror fairy, I'm already crazy, so let's just go all the way! I'm totally gonna seduce this damn fairy before I Spark! Just you wait!

"Now then! The jump begins when you next go to sleep! So-" I bolt off before she can finish, prompting a giggle from her, "Have funn~! Try not to scare Dumbs too much on your rise to power!"

That is the last thing I hear before I practically power bomb my bed. The moment my face touches the sheet, I black out.

~Harry Potter, Year 0, Age 4~

When I woke up, I lay in a bed much too big for my size, in a room that is also way too big for a 4-year-old.

The thing is also way too comfortable for a bed in the 1980s, hell, it's better than the bed I had in any modern world!

As much as I didn't want to, I sat up in the bed to really look around the room, and filter in a few more years of new memories.

After tossing away this body's memories of being born and speed running the trauma processing, I finally find what I'm looking for.

I am Dorian Xenakis, Heir to The Noble and Most Ancient House of Xenakis.

Well, Jumpchan. Way to double up on my whole 'foreigner' shtick, huh?

Xenakis means 'Newcomer', in Greek, by the way. Taken in full, my name could translate as 'Newcomer From Across The Sea'.

Nice.

Funny thing is, from what I can gather, we aren't exactly a British house? Like, my father is definitely Greek, but my mother is British. Perhaps from one of the other houses? Is my house also a new Pure-Blood House?

Hmm. I haven't even managed to overhear either of their names yet. Eh. I'll find out all that later.

From searching my memories, I find my parents have guests over a fair bit, and I recognize a few of the faces.

Lucius Malfoy and his wife have visited a few times, though they haven't brought their son over.

Yet.

I can tell by the way they interact that there is some tension between them over...something? Perhaps Pure-Blood values?

I can already tell by looking through these memories that privately my parents don't care about such nonsense, but realize it would be political suicide to say publicly otherwise, so they say nothing.

My guess is that those particular values never got passed down, in lieu of more important things.

Like being stubborn, glory-hounding, and a power-seeking hard-ass. Well. At least in my father's case, that's what I've gathered from him so far. The tension is also much more pronounceable around him and Lucius, the wives seem to get along quite well.

Unfortunately, I was always too far away so I never could actually hear what they discussed. But I get a feeling that'll change soon.

I have seven years until Hogwarts, and I can begin working my magic now, unraveling the seeds of bigotry and hatred in hopefully more than a few Slytherin kids before the Sorting Hat even touches their head!

Kids are always a bit more impressionable at this age, and I'm going to milk their lack of full breadth in mental ability for the next decade or so.

As for the parents...I don't think I'll be able to convert them out of their way of thinking, even by using their kids against them. Even with my perks, they aren't supernatural levels of bullshit...yet.

The parents have been neck-deep in their hatred for decades, which is much harder to unravel than a toddler who has only gotten sprinkles thus far.

That doesn't mean I can't at least try, though cautionary use of my new cunning, danger sense, and old [Sherlock Scan] perks are advisable.

Let's get to work, then!

~ Harry Potter, Year 0, Age 7 ~

Out in the massive backyard of the Xenakis Mansion, a little blonde boy stands in front of me, a cheeky smug grin on his face. Flanking my left and right are two other boys... whose names I forgot. I know one's Nott, and the other's Crabbe though.

Yes, I know I have perfect memory. Yes, I also chose to forget their names. They haven't said a word to me beyond 'Hi' since we first met a couple of years ago with Draco here.

I don't need to waste any effort on them, they follow Draco here unconditionally. Their houses are practically vassals to the Malfoys after all.

"Hey! Xenakis! Check this out!" At his feet is a little broom, he holds his hand above It...and it begins to spin and roll around.

Ah. Some context? That is a magic toy broom for kids who are interested in flying and such. It can't fly, but it can be called to a kid's hand. It's also large enough so it can't be eaten, so there's that.

Point is? Draco is trying to impress me. It's not really working, but...I put on an interested expression, tilt my head slightly, and give a little sparkle to my eyes, "That's pretty neat, Malfoy. Make it do a flip!"

His grin widens, and the little broom does a flip, I do a little clap and whistle, and Malfoy stands there looking much too proud of himself.

It looks like I'm sucking up to him right now, doesn't it? Nah. We're actually pretty okay friends I'd say. This is just kid's stuff.

Let me tell you what's been up for the past few years.

I have met a few of the other Pure-Blood families so far; Malfoy, Greengrass, Brown, and the Weasleys.

First things first. I hope I never met a child Ron ever again.

Second. All of them are visiting trying to bring my father and thus my house into their factions and political schemes. My father, the absolute mad-lad, is playing coy with all of them and it is absolutely hilarious.

The reason for this entire game is that my house was nearly rendered extinct during Voldemort's reign, and that was almost entirely by accident.

My uncle and his children were caught in one of the many battles between the Order and Death Eaters. None survived, and my father came all the way from Greece to take over the house. He married a pure-blood British woman – my mother – and thus we are here today.

Strangely though, the identity of the family my mother was a part of is kept under intense lock and key. I suspect it's probably from her line that I inherited my Parseltongue, so I can make a few guesses but will withhold assumptions until I wrangle out the full picture from my mother using my adorable charm.

Now then, onto what I've been up to personally.

Of the two houses who I care about manipul- I mean bettering...I've met both of the heirs, Draco, as you can see here. And Daphne Greengrass who is practically a female Draco in the making. Though she's slowly becoming a tsundere...you'll see more of her later, I'm sure. She's kind of interesting since we never saw her in any official capacity.

Yes. She has blonde hair and blue eyes from fanon.

Moving on, I can confidently say the three of us are practically best friends, at least in private.

[Sherlock Scan], for those who don't remember, grants me the ability to automatically draw my attention to anything relevant or important to me without distracting me. Technically, it doesn't work on people, but I've been abusing its ability to draw me towards anything important during a situation to cheat it into telling me things about a person.

It's how I was able to deduce that both Draco and Daphne long for attention and approval, and lack any real friends. Abusing that, I now stand as confidants to the two. Not lackeys.

Whenever I heard them spout some Pure-Blood bullshit, I quickly shut it down with copious amounts of information to the contrary that their brains can't really argue against.

It also helps that I am a good friend to them, actually, listen and talk to them, and treat them as equals. So they are more likely to listen to me than their parents who, while not abusive, are rather emotionally distant.

Ah! Here, let me show you something...

I stand up, causing Draco to raise an eyebrow at my sudden motion. Walking over to him, I lean down and carefully pick up the toy, balance it on one finger, and let it spin around on top like a basketball.

Rather than scoff and say he could do better, snatching the toy away, and pouting like the little brat you might expect, he leans close and stares at it in actual child-like wonder. Visibly entranced by the motion.

The Power of Friendship is bullshit.

…

How's this for breaking canon over my knee? This kid is going to be really different when he arrives at Hogwarts.

And this is just the start.

I haven't been able to get to Pansy Parkinson yet, ya know, the girl that tries to give Harry to Voldemort and gets the entire Slytherin House tossed out of the school in the books...or thrown in the dungeons in the movies?

Yeah. Her.

I think I might actually let Draco cool her off himself, they seemed to have a thing after all.

...though that was that Draco, and this is this Draco.

…

I would really rather not deal with her myself. Or any of the other Slytherin senior years, really.

Speaking of, slight change of plans.

I've already accepted that I can't change everyone. Draco and Daphne took a couple of years for them to begrudgingly admit that their family views are a bit...out there.

I'm sure within the next year I'll be able to make that a 'fully admit' but still, it took some time...and that was with the benefits of perks on children.

Then again, I was actually trying to befriend the two, not just brainwash them out of their brainwashing.

Even still, when I go into Slytherin House, I'm going to be punching up against higher years, and then down for every new year below me after going in. I'm going to need to leverage my family resources, throw around any and all popularity I gain, and make myself practically the 'Anti-Riddle' in terms of views, just with all the force of charisma and power.

I'm not gonna lie, I shiver at the challenge. It's not just a fight, it's a game. He who holds the most power, the most pieces, and knows how to use it all while pretending to have none or some of it wins.

Fuck, I really am a snake on the inside, aren't I?

As Draco practically demands I show him how I managed to balance the little toy broom, I wonder,

Just what exactly will be in store for us when we go to Hogwarts in a few years...?

~Omake~

Dorian had just run off to literally jump into his next...well, technically official first jump.

That meant, Jumpchan was now alone with them.

It didn't take long before one of them approached, an uncharacteristically wide grin splayed across the cosmic cat's face.

As Jumpchan turned to look at it, the grin made her instantly tense up, and start floating just a bit off the ground...ready for anything.

For you see, the Creepy Cosmic Cats are just cat-shaped holes in reality...to the normal mortal eyes who can't bequeath the true horror that lays beyond.

Jumpchan is, unfortunately, not a normal mortal. Or even a mortal at all. As both an Eldritch Fairy and Benefactor herself, she can see what lays beyond...and so too can the cats.

Let's just say, the cats and the fairy's really don't like each other.

And without their human here to keep them in check...

Well. Let's just say that when the cat before her begins to unravel, turning into a monstrosity with several spindly arms, a centipede-like body, and a face with a maw of razor-sharp pickle teeth...Jumpchan knows what needs to be done.

Summoning a pink magic wand with a golden star on the tip, raised right at the 'cats' grinning maw, she bellows, trying to suppress the shaking in her core, "ALRIGHT! YOU WANT A FIGHT!? HAVE AT THEE!"

When all the other cats in the room turn to her and begin a similar transformation, the only other creatures in the room – the unseen servant – begin to cry internally as their jobs got several times harder.

:Author's Notes:

To the guy that said Dorian's name is now Jon? You are correct in spirit. Also, yes, the omake is canon to the story. Every jump, while Dorian plays games and has fun, Jumpchan fights the cats.

I think it's funny, also, Jumpchan lore...kinda. Her being Jumpchan and Benefactor should ring a few alarm bells to those that know Jumpchain overall.

There's a reason she is, and ultimately, it changes nothing for the chain.

Anyhow. That's the first for Harry Potter. The next chapter will be Year 1, Age 11. You'll actually see Daphne.

Each chapter from here on will be a year at Hogwarts, with the final year being him basically speed-running becoming Minister for Magic just because.

Possible Slytherin Harry coming up, not gonna lie. Still undecided, since it doesn't ultimately change anything...but, we'll see. I do like me some broken canon in the morning.

See ya next week.

: Dorian Character Sheet :

-Body Mod-

Essence: None

~[Current Body Perks]~

[Mental Resistance III]*

[Corruption Resistance]**

[Mental Prowess II]

[Polyglot]

[Charismatic I]

~[Other Body Mod Perks]~

[Sexy and I Know It], [Common Sense], [Good Fortune], [Self Motivation], [Friendly Sort] and [Boredom Immunity]

[Try, Try Again]

(Nullify an attack or action that would end your chain. Once every 10 years or once every jump, whichever is first.)

[Oh, The Possibilities]

(Grants a mind that can easily understand and exploit powers and items on hand.)

[What's Mine Is Mine]

(Powers/Skills/Abilities never deteriorate.)

[Hard Work Pays Dividends]

(5x Training Booster)

[Friendly Friends], [Lone Survivor], [Sherlock Scan], [Secondary Superpowers], [Psychic Intuition], [Simple Convenience], [Cantrips], [Class Skills - Rogue]

-Harry Potter Perks-

[Clean Blooded], [Great Cunning], [Parselmouth], [Non-Verbal Specialty], [Moste Potente Potions], [Metamorphmagus], [Fiendfyre Master], [The Only One He Ever Feared], [Nullification], [Wandless Magic], [Non-Verbal Specialty]

*Notes*

[No Matter Where You Go, There You Are] and [Veteran] became [Mental Resistance III] *

[Screw The Devil] became [Corruption Resistance]**

In the future, I will probably make a google document or something of the like for the character sheet.

But for now, this should suffice.