Chapter 5 – 1946-1948
A/N To get from where I left off with WW2 ending, to where I am going to need to be for the next and final chapter, covers a number of years that Lewis skips over in The Chronicles. Susan's alterations are therefore shown in a series of letters across 3 years. To give context, RAF bomber bases were common in Lincolnshire in the 1940s, some remaining active after the war, the Labour Government of Clement Attlee took office in July 1945 and Notting Hill in this period was something of a rundown semi-slum, known for extortionate landlords, and a long way from the gentrification of the Hugh Grant film era. BOAC stood for British Overseas Airways Corp and is now a part of British Airways.
Finchley 21 February 1946
Dear Peter
Just a quick scribble because I am going out soon. John has managed to get leave to come to London. We are meeting up at Tennis Club HQ and then he will drive me into town. So I have time for a few lines while my makeup dries. It was lovely to see you over Christmas and I am very pleased to know University is going well. I bet Professor Kirke will be delighted, though he sometimes has a funny way of showing it as I recall. Thank you too for my birthday card and enclosure, I am amazingly 18 years old now, though of course I think I did become much older in Narnia well over 21, how queer. John has given me a gorgeous silver neckless for the occasion, to go with the ear rings I showed you at Christmas. He has been really sweet to me and I don't understand why you are not better friends with him, Mother approves very much. You know he was very brave in the war and I am sure that must make it difficult for someone afterwards. He is certainly showing no signs yet of wanting to stop being around aircraft and join his Father's firm. Simply must stop now and get ready for him.
With Love
Susan
Brighton 8 July 1946
Dear Peter
I am staying with some of John's people for a few days by the coast. So lovely to get away from stuffy London and feel the sea air. Even better I don't have to help Mother with the household accounts while I am away. One of John's cousins is staying with us and she is a total scream. She can dance and sing, has lovely cheek bones and such a wonderful figure. She has taught me all sorts of tricks of how to make post war clothing look good without resorting to the Black Market. I could go on about her for ages except you would be very bored very quickly. But your Sister is happy, even if she misses you terribly
Susan
Finchley 23 September 1946
Dear Peter
I travelled up to Lucy's school on Saturday to take her out to tea as a treat. It felt so strange going back through those gates again, especially as I was wearing a light, flowing, summer dress and not my chocking and dreadfully uncomfortable old school uniform. I was still stupidly scared that I was going to meet The Headmistress while walking across the grounds though, and that she was going to ask me why I had not handed in my History prep! Lucy is well and making a much better hash of school that I did. Still I am very pleased to report that I continue to hold some of the school records in swimming, and also the best time for the under 15s 100 yards dash.
Apparently at the start of term Anne Featherstone tried to make up some stories about why Lu missed classes, so Lucy stood up to her, in front of the Form Mistress and Head of House no less, and told them the real truth. She was genuinely feeling unwell at the time, but you don't need to know those details Peter. Anyway, the upshot of it all was that Featherstone was the one who ended up doing lines in detention. Ha Ha, good for Lu.
Apart from eating a lot of scones, Lucy spent much of our time out talking about Narnia. I do not understand why she still does this and I wish you would not encourage her. Why can't any of you see that we will never be able to go back there how it was? Earth is our home, this new Government has plans to put Britain back on its feet and we are a part of that, not Narnia. It's gone, it is closed. Aslan told us all we were too old to return, remember? Even Eustace and his bossy friend are not little children any more, but about as old as we two were when we last travelled to Narnia, so why would they ever be allowed back in either? Please stop it Peter, you are only hurting Lucy in the long run.
Love
Susan
Finchley 14 January 1947
Dear Peter
It's cold in my bedroom! So will write fast and try to catch the post before warming myself up by the sitting room fire. I just hope you will be able to read it. Another year has passed, the first full one of peace, and as you saw over the Christmas holidays Father is still working too hard and still I am trying to help Mother with the house. There is nothing I can do in Mrs Robertson's garden in winter so I am stuck at home for now. That is one reason why I did not see you all as much as I wanted over Christmas, John gets so little time to be with me that he wants to take me out and make the most of it. The parties he receives invitations too are fabulous, everyone wants to be generous to a war hero. Then I have to spend time afterwards making little changes an adding different details to my clothes so it doesn't look like I'm wearing the same four dresses. I would have asked if you all could have been invited too, but I feel Lu and Ed are still a bit young for that, and Jill Pole definitely is, though she probably thinks otherwise! I'm sorry Peter but I am right, she does not like me and there is nothing I can do about it. She is clearly not as pretty as Lucy was at that age and I believe she is jealous of all of us. I promise you I did not have 'a row' with her on New Year's Day, because if I had you would have been in no doubt about it.
John really does think a lot of me I am sure, at least Mother keeps telling me that. I find it natural and appropriate that men take an interest in me now I am more grown up, I'm certain there must be lots of nice girls in Oxford who would want to spend time with you, if only you were not always stuck inside libraries. But then you were never interested in finding a partner in Narnia, when we all felt like Kings and Queens there.
Must Dash
Susan
Lincolnshire 3 April 1947
Dear Peter
I am staying with Silvia, John's cousin, in a rented house to be near him for a while. This branch of his family has pots of money, so it was easy to persuade them to fund some time away while she swots up for her shorthand exams. I spend the morning dictating the most fanciful letters and she types them up and we check them. Alright, she checks them because as I bet you can guess my spelling is no better than at school. But I am afraid this means I will not be able to see you in the Easter hols this year, sorry about that.
Do not worry about me Peter, I am fine, honest, you keep talking in your letters about the amount of wine I drink, it is not a problem I assure you. In Narnia we drunk a great amount of wine, even the younger ones and it never hurt us there. Some things about our fun and games there are so fuzzy in my head, but I still remember the food and drink, the clothes and of course my horses. I do not like thinking that we will never see it again, parties in England don't really come close, but they are all I have now.
Take Care
Susan
Finchley 22 November 1947
Dear Peter
I cannot wait to see you for Christmas, it seems so long since we were all together, none of us are really children anymore. This time next year Lucy will have left school and Ed will be working even harder to get the marks he needs to study law in university. I'm afraid I had a bit of a tiff with Father when I told him again how unfair it was that Lu could not stay on at school. Yes I know money is tight and one day Lucy will want to be a Mother and her education will be of no use then, but she is just as clever as Ed, you must know that Peter. Of course we can't all be as brainy as you, and be on track for a First at Oxford. Father is still showing signs of disappointment that Ed will only ever make a 'redbrick'. But Lucy is the one who really loses out because he can't afford to let her do what she is capable of. Of course they all gave up on me years ago.
John has definitely decided not to go into his Father's firm, he wants to train as a commercial pilot and hopes to work for BOAC. He loves aircraft so much and is frustrated he gets to fly so little. At least this would get him out of the military, I will be glad about that. Something really odd happened the other day though. We were talking on the telephone about his plans and he said "Of course when we are married you must expect me to be away quite often and manage the home by yourself." Now he has never talked about marriage to me properly, and is still not in my opinion. He just assumes what's going to happen. It made me suddenly think of Rabadash and that sent a shiver all through me.
With love
Susan
Finchley 29 January 1948
Peter
Just a postcard, sorry I cannot make it to Oxford , John needs me at an event. I know its frightfully late to change but can't do anything about it. Give Lu a big hug from me.
Susan
Wimbledon 16 March 1948
Dear Peter
I really hope this letter gets to you soon. I have not tried to make contact by telephone because it is too difficult, we would not talk long enough and I would say everything wrong anyway. I am sure our folks will have though. What you must have been told is true. The understanding between John and myself is over, Mother is deeply disappointed and Father is furious that I have thrown away my best chance of making something of myself. But I cannot tell them all of the truth. Brother, you were right about John, does that make you happy now? Lately he has been making more and more choices for us both and we got into a frightful argument at a party were attending, and it was over nothing really. He pulled me into an empty bedroom so that we would not make scene, and I was feeling glad about that, until suddenly I think he tried to take a swing at me. We were both a bit drunk so it was quite ridiculous. I was never in danger and could have fought back harder, but he didn't know that. No one is ever going to believe me about what happened, except my brothers and sister. John is a bomber captain, knows all the right people and I'm just a silly girl with a pretty face that he picked up to look good on his arm. Nearly all of our friends are taking his side (so there will be no more posh parties coming my way) apart from one couple who are letting me stay with them a few days, and from where I am writing to you. The atmosphere at home is just so awful, I simply had to get away.
Now I am frightened. But what scares me most is that you are going to tell me I deserve this. Admit Peter, you kept hinting that I was going to come a cropper sooner or later. It's so unfair that our parents are blaming me for breaking it off with John and you will too for going with him in the first place. Somehow I know you are going to twist this and tell me that if I had stuck with the stupid codes of Narnia none of this would have happened. Well you are wrong. I recall what we played out in Calorman, when you told us you were going North to fight the giants. Talk to Ed, please I beg you, he was with me and at least he ought to remember some of how the adults treated us there. Maybe then you will understand.
Susan
Notting Hill 4 April 1948
Dearest Peter
I have not had any letters from you yet, maybe because you are not sure where to send them. Well here is my new address. Please write Peter, if only to give me a telling off, I can't bear not knowing what you think, after all we went through together. The horrible war I mean, and the other things. Does my being in Notting Hill surprise you? I am renting a bed-sit here, and I hope you are not going to worry about it, because it is really not as bad as I bet you think. I've a bed, one comfy chair, two bars of electric fire and two hob rings. The window looks out onto a brick wall of the place next door, but you can't have everything. Now I really must practise all the skills I learnt about home management. Father has given me some, money, because Mother and I were driving each other up the wall and I needed to move out. But I will have to find a proper job now to pay the rent long term. There was a postcard in a shop window about cleaners wanted. It will have to do for now, please don't tell the others and especially not mother.
The one thing I did not expect living here is how kind the people are. Many of them experienced The Blitz more than we ever did, so I suspect that makes people try and grab a good time, even if they do not have much. It's crazy but I am still receiving invitations to parties here, though not the ones like Jill Pole probably thinks I still attend. We play music, dance, drink cheap alcohol and for a few hours forget about all the nasty things in this world.
That's all for now. Please write to me Peter, please, please…
Susan
Notting Hill 18 September 1948
Dear Peter
If I did not thank you properly for inviting me to your graduation reception then I am doing it now. Despite our differences I am very proud of what you have achieved, you could do anything from here Peter, which makes me so upset that you still want to become an Officer in the British Army. It is bad enough that you can be called up for National Service but to willingly put yourself forward for more of the same is madness. Especially knowing what you did for Narnia. Is it really that important to you to prove it in our world, after you played it through on the other side of Professor Kirke's old wardrobe?
I don't want to think on that, but remember you looking so tall and handsome in your motor board and academic gown. If only there had been a pretty young girl by your side to complete the picture. At least you, Ed and Lu had the decency to talk with me at the reception and I thought Lucy looked wonderful in that outfit, she is really starting to blossom and we should all look out for her. Of course she listens to you, as her brave High King, far more than she will her 'black sheep' of a sister, so I am relying on you to protect her for both of us. I am sure you will say I haven't set her a very good example, but you know the reasons for my choices, whatever you may tell me.
Sadly I hardly spoke to Mother and Father the whole day, in fact I am sure I had longer conversations with Uncle Harold and Aunt Alberta. They are really not bad people when you get to know them. Perhaps Ed and Lu were too young to understand their eccentricities, or perhaps like me, they know what it feels like when you do not live up to this family's expectations.
I suppose you had to invite Jill Pole to the reception, because cousin Eustace is so very thick with her after Narnia happened, but she really annoys me. Talking about my 'strange friends' in London like that, when she knows nothing about them, or me it seems. They are genuine, kind, caring people and we all look out for one another. Just because they talk differently and didn't have the education we gained (not that it did me a lot of good) she looks down on them. Funny because I wold have thought that going to somewhere like 'Experiment House" would make you think differently The Professor's friend Polly was just as bad, which is really unfair as I've only met her a couple of times before.
So now I am back on my own in London with my mixed up memories. One of the girls living near me said I was better than being a cleaner and should go after a job in a shop she had seen advertised in the newspaper. I dared not tell her I was too scared that I'd mess up giving customers their change under pressure. Good luck with whatever you chose next big brother, we may not always agree but I think of you often. Say one of your prayers for me.
With Love
Susan