This chapter is just a formal thing. Kind of boring I presume but to make of for that I will post the next chapter at the same time so we can all focus on the 'good' stuff ;)
I can not lie there are still more drama to come but in my opinion it's going to be some GOOD drama!
So people – are you with me?
CHAPTER 8
Everything will change and nothing stays the same,
Nobody here's perfect, but EVERYONE'S to blame
All that you rely on and all that you can save
Will leave you in the morning and find you in the day…
For 41 days Callie had been feeling things she'd never thought she'd be feeling. Anger and hurt had been mixed with complete sorrow and confusion. For the first week she had been a complete wreck and Mark had to collect the pieces that was left of her. The brunette was completely devastated and it had broke Mark's heart to see his best female friend's teary eyes day after day. Callie was so grateful for Mark. His effort to help her make feel better was remarkably. But Callie was hurt and she was hurting more than she had ever been before. Not even after George or Erica's betrayals, had she been feeling so lost. She had tried everything to feel better while moping around in the hotel room she had been forced to get considering their apartment was out for rent and she didn't have the strength to deal with that yet. She had tried the anger-thing again, but it didn't work this time either. She had been crying for days hoping with all her heart that it would help making her feel better but no, that didn't work either. So when Mark finally had showed up, forcing her to get out from the hotel, she had trying the drinking-a-a lot-of-alcohol-thing. Her friends and colleagues had been doing their best to help as well but they all could see that Callie's hurt was buried deep and what Arizona Robbins had been doing was scarred in to the brunette for a life time. She had asked Mark if she could move in with him, just until she had sorted out the things with her own apartment. It was nice to get away from the loneliness and what could be better than being in Mark's company all the time? After three weeks she had been back on Seattle Grace Mercy West for work and that had taken a little angst away from her just be preoccupied with something else.
It wasn't so much what Arizona had said in the airport, or of course it was, but Callie had to admit to herself that what ever Arizona had been saying that night, it had been the truth. But was more hurting than seeing Arizona walking away from her was the fact that she hadn't heard from the blonde since. Every time her phone rang she had been throwing herself at it so sure that this time it would be Arizona calling or whenever she was checking her email so sure that this time it would show an email telling her how sorry the blonde was about this whole mess. But no, nothing showed up and the days passed by.
Therefore it had been inevitable to go down that road she had chosen last week. All attendings had been out drinking at Joe's after finishing their shifts at the hospital and a drunk Teddy, who had stopped by after a miserable date, had brought up Arizona as a subject. Callie had backfired, well aware of the fact that Teddy had some sort of contact with the blonde and when she and Mark had come home, got sleep and woken up in the middle of the night, Callie had suggested and asked Mark for sex. The sleeping-together-ting had been going on for a few days now but this morning, in the shower, they both had admitted that the sex between them just made them miss someone else. Callie missed Arizona. Mark missed Lexie. Still, the sex with Mark was as great as she'd remembered it but it also made her feel numbed and despondent. At the same time, in some way she felt ashamed for sleeping with Mark and she MISSED Arizona, she couldn't deny it any longer. But she had a deeply wounded pride, a broken heart and all of this was mixed with anger towards Arizona Robbins. Although, she couldn't decide if the anger was pointed to Arizona for leaving or for the fact that the blonde had hit some sensitive spots with her words. But still, she WAS angry. How in the hell couldn't Arizona Robbins not have, in any way, contact her? Didn't she mean anything to the blonde pediatric surgeon any more? Maybe Arizona's heart was as cold stone and maybe that meant that Arizona Robbins could just finish a chapter in her life and turn the page. So yeah, maybe this anger-thing would work this time if Callie Torres really put her mind to it.
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For 41 days Arizona Robbins had been crying. She'd never thought it would be possible for a human being to supply this amount of tears. For 41 days Arizona Robbins had been hurting in ways that she'd never experienced before. And for the first time in Arizona Robbins life she had reached a turning point that included a strong possibility that she'd done the wrong thing. And for Arizona Robbins this was bad. REALLY bad. She couldn't think, couldn't sleep or eat and this was starting to show on her. But instead of all the things she couldn't do, she threw herself in to work in the exact moment she had arrived in Africa. Just to do anything that would keep her mind of a certain Callie Torres. She was mad, mad at herself for leaving and perhaps of the fact that she had left the best thing that ever happened to her but she was also mad at Callie, for putting her in an impossible equation at the time.
Arizona had over and over tried to convince herself that this was for the best and that this Carter Madison-Grant made up for her losing Callie and that this in fact WAS her dream. But as the days went she knew that is was a lie. The day came, when she had broken in to tears at work, and the next day came with the same tears as the day before. And it continued. Soon she had her nearest colleague, a pediatric surgeon from Canada who was in charge of this whole thing, asking her what was wrong. She had sobbed and told him the truth. And the truth was that she missed her girlfriend. Like REALLY missed her. He had then asked her if they were able to replace her, did she want to go back to the States? Arizona had opened her mouth to say "no" but was weirdly came out instead was a "yes" and then she really couldn't deny it anymore. She MISSED Callie, she was miserable without her and she did want to go back. So 41 days after that horrible evening at Seattle Airport, when she had turned her back and walked away from Callie, jumped on a plane back to Seattle with one determination and a promise to do whatever it took to get her life back. No matter what. Arizona Robbins was going to do something she had never done in her whole life before. She was going to be vulnerable and brave enough to admit that she couldn't breathe or live without Calliope Torres being a part of her life.
Back on the safe and familiar ground in Seattle she had went straight to her 'old' apartment building after a quick phone call with Teddy. The cardio surgeon had been well aware of her blonde friends suffering back on the African continent. They had talked a lot, by texting, emailing and on Skype but Arizona had made Teddy promised no to tell Callie about it. Now, Teddy had informed her that Callie was living with Mark and that Mark was working late and had seemed to be heading out with Lexie after his shift was ending and that Arizona probably would find Callie at home, alone in Mark's apartment. She was nervous. Her hands were sweating and her heart pounded like a hammer in her chest when she knocked softly on Mark's door. And then it all happened so fast, Callie opened with a obvious look on her face that at first seemed to be of happiness, then insecurity and at the point Arizona had stopped rambling, trying to explain what she was doing here, Callie got a sad look in her eyes and before Arizona Robbins knew it the door was shut right in front of her eyes. And it was then Arizona Robbins really broke down. Literally, REALLY broke down in to tears and sobs, yet again, for the millionth time in 41 days. She leaned against the wall and felt her inside shuttered in to small pieces and let herself sink to the floor. This was a nightmare. It had to bee. It couldn't be happening. But it was. It was happening. And what had she expected? A warm welcome home with open arms like that whole leaving-the-love-of-my-life alone in an airport 41 days ago never happened? But that also happened and Arizona realized that it was time to deal with the consequences of her own actions. It was time for Arizona Robbins to fight. Fight like she had never EVER done before.