Gilbert sighed and rubbed Violet's back softly, Ivy sat next to them, watching sympathetically as she cried into her pillow. " Violet... please I-" " No Gil... I miss him... I miss him so much." she threw her head back and wailed loudly, attracting the attention of Nyx, Hunter and Cain, who all slowly looked inside the room. She lowered her head and continued to cry into the pillow she held, basically unaware of their presence. The three looked at each other and entered the room quietly. " What's going on?" Cain asked. Ivy looked up at them and gave them this sort of look, trying her best to signal what was going on, but they weren't exactly getting it, up until Hunter asked. " Is it about that guy... what's his face?" Ivy shook her head violently, trying to keep him quiet, when Violet looked up at them and sniffled. " His name was Vash." she mumbled softly, her hand began to sting, and she didn't know why, until she remembered something from the motel not long ago.

****************flashback*****************

Violet entered her room and closed the door behind her, a large mirror stood right next to the bed. She approached it and looked at herself for a brief moment, before slamming her hand into the glass, shattering it on contact and drawing blood. She fell to her knees and clutched her injured hand, tears rolling down her cheeks. What's wrong with me? Why do I always manage to screw up something? She sobbed loudly, praying no one would hear her. I'll never amount to anything. I'm useless. Violet looked at her reflection in a piece of shattered glass and sighed. Am I good enough to even survive? She lowered her head in shame, blood dripped onto the carpeted floor, she sat on her bed and wiped her tears with her good hand and laid on her back, facing the plain white ceiling, before slowly drifting off to sleep.

*************** end flashback **************

Gently she held her hand close to her and immediately burst into tears again, so many thoughts were going through her mind, from the moment they first met to the moment he died in her care. " I... I.. god... oh god I loved him... more then anything...we... we were..." she trailed off and clenched her fists angrily, she couldn't handle it anymore, it was all too much. She stood up and shoulders past the three boys and retreated into the room her and Al shared, slamming the door behind her. Please let me still have it... she searched around the backpack Gilbert always had, she had borrowed it... mostly to get her little escape from reality that she always kept inside. Violet searched the backpack until she felt something sharp cut the tip of her finger, she smiled and took hold of the razor, it cut her hand just a little bit. Slowly she pulled her hand out of the bag and took the sharp object before retreating to the back corner of the room. She rolled up her sleeves and delicately set the razor on her skin, before dragging it, back and forth, he could feel blood dripping down her arm every time she moved the razor.

What am I doing?! I promised myself I would never do it again... but... she looked down at the blood dripping down her arms onto her jeans and smiled. It feels so right. She closed her eyes and rolled down her sleeve, watching the blood soak straight through the fabric of her shirt, then rolled up her other sleeve and continued. She began crying again, harder then before, when suddenly she heard a voice.

" So you actually went and did it huh?"

Violet opened her eyes and looked up to see Hunter, Nyx and Cain sitting on the bed watching her. She looked away and crossed her arms, dropping the razor down her shirt to keep them from getting a hold of it. " So what if I did?" she muttered. " You really think we have a problem reaching down your shirt to get it?" " Eh?!" " Haha, just kidding, but seriously. When Al finds out he's gonna be pissed." " What's he gonna do?!" Violet stood up angrily and faced them. " I don't care what he does! Kick me out! Kill me! Tell my family! I don't care! Nothing could be worse then what I'm feeling now!" " You sure about that doll?"

Violet froze, her heart skipping a beat, slowly she spun around and saw Al, leaning in the doorway behind her, taking a drag from his cigarette, his sunglasses over his eyes. " A-Al! I-" " Sit down Violet, guys, can you go for a minute?" Violet watched desperately as the three sighed and walked out, Cain paused for a moment and whispered something in Al's ear before walking out and closing the door behind him. Al put out his cigarette and sighed as Violet sat in a chair that was placed against the wall. He sighed and, faster then Violet had ever seen anyone go, grabbed a bat out of the corner, it had old rusty nails stuck in it, and shards of glass, and swung it. Violet screamed and squeezed her eyes shut, only to hear the wall directly next to her crack, and pieces of drywall landed in her hair. She covered her face with her hands and shrunk away, her tears starting to flow again. " Give me the razor!" Violet immediately reached down her shirt and grabbed it, she gave it to him in seconds, her hand shaking as he snatched it away.

He threw it across the room, or so Violet guessed after hearing the sound of metal hitting a hardwood floor. " What were you thinking?!" Violet shook her head and continued to cry, the sound of Al yelling at her rung in her ears, she couldn't take it anymore, she just couldn't handle it.

" Why didn't you just kill me then?!"

All was silent, as Violet waited for a response, the voices in her head were killing her, she couldn't take the pain any longer, she was just ready to die. When Al finally answered, it was one she wasn't expecting at all.

" Because you remind me of myself." Violet looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with tears. He couldn't stand seeing her so upset, and thinking that cutting and suicide was the only way out of it... not like he was. Al knelt down and took both of her hands, they were so small and frail compared to his. He gently rolled up her sleeves and reached into the backpack next to him, he grabbed the gauze and wrapped up both arms. She was going to be okay, whether she wanted to or not. " I really like you Violet. And I know your brother, sister, and nephew wouldn't do well without you. I understand you miss your boyfriend, but I'm here for you if you ever need me." he smiled and gently cupped her face in his hands, her skin was so soft, and a little sticky from all her tears. After a few moments of just staring into her eyes, he kissed her softly, and the reaction he received was much different then the one he was expecting.

She pushed him away and stared at him with tears in her eyes. " A-Al... I.. I really like you too but... but it's too soon." Al smiled soothingly and hugged her gently. " Okay... it's fine... I'll wait."