Thank you guys for the reviews! I know I put up the same chapter twice, but when I updated my story it never showed up on the first pages of the HSM board. I was a little upset but, I got over it. Any way, I'm glad that you guys are getting into the characters of this story, and not how they are suppose to be from the films. Here is chapter 3, hope you guys enjoy.
Decisions
Taylor couldn't concentrate on her classwork during this period. The knowledge that her secret was known by more than her, was eating her up inside. She nervously shook her leg while watching the clock, anticipating the ringing of the bell. 'How did he find out' she kept asking herself over and over again.
'No matter how he found out, I just have to make sure he keeps my secret from both Gabriella and Troy' she thought as the bell finally rang to let the students out.
She packed up her belongings quickly and hurried out of the room. Stopping on the right side of the door, she waited as her current secret keeper took his time walking out of the classroom.
He knew she would be waiting for him, but he wanted to handle this situation correctly and as delicately as possible. He knew a thing or two about secrets himself, and he knew how hard it must be for Taylor holding all of this stuff inside, without an outlet. That was his only reasoning in writing the note in the first place. He took his time walking out of the door, carefully looking around he saw her standing nervously by the door waiting for his arrival.
"We need to talk" she said immediately upon his appearance.
"Not here out in the open McKessie. I don't think that would be to wise" he said with a slight smirk on his face.
"This isn't funny….".
He held up his hand to silence her. "It's not meant to be funny but I think it's important for us to be in an environment where we can talk freely" he said strongly.
"Fine!" she said angrily. "When and where?"
"How about the library during free period, it will be intimate enough so that you can ask me any question you like and vice versa" he said quietly.
"Fine….I guess I will see you then. And don't flake out on me" she said poking him in his chest.
"Trust me…I'm not," he said pushing her hand away from him. Believe it or not, I'm taking this seriously, because the fact of the matter is if you don't stop what you're doing, somebody is gonna get hurt…..and bad. Because that's what secrets and lies do" he said a little angrily himself.
He turned on his foot and headed for the lunch room not bothering to look back at her. She watched him walk away and mentally kicked herself, 'How did I ever get myself into this. Yeah, yeah I know….from enjoying the ride' she thought to herself. She had never seen him that mad since she had been at East High.
Come to think of it, she had noticed in the back of her mind that he had quietly matured somehow in the past three months. What had changed him so much; he definitely wasn't the nice guy she remembered him to be? Or maybe he was, but she was so caught up in her own drama to really notice.
Taylor didn't feel like eating, she had too much on her mind, so she decided to wait in the library for the impending doom she felt in the pit of her stomach. Walking into the library, she found a perfect spot at one of the tables in the history section. It was secluded enough so they could both have a private conversation but it was open enough so that he could see her when he walked into the library.
Taylor stared off into the distance, she kept asking herself how had everything gotten so out of control, but she knew when it started, and she knew that all the blame was on her.
It was a normal night in the room of Gabriella Montez. It was unbelievably cold outside and she was sitting on her bed with her best friend study for their upcoming calculus test. Taking a sip of the hot chocolate her mother had made them, Gabriella slammed her book shut in frustration.
"I'm tired of studying. Let's take a break" she said.
"Sounds good to me, my eyes were starting to hurt anyway" yawned Taylor. She stood up and stretched out her limbs, while Gabriella searched for the remote and turned on her flat screen television.
"What are the boys up to tonight?" asked Taylor, laying across the bed, while Gabriella grabbed one of her stuffed animals and clutched it to her body.
"Uh, there at the court doing extra practices" said Gabriella nonchalantly. "Didn't you talk to Chad?"
"Nope, not really" said Taylor.
"Tay, what's going on between you and Chad? You use to love being around him and now, it's like if you don't talk or see him, it's okay with you" said Gabriella concernedly.
"So you've noticed" said Taylor sitting up. She faced her best friend, ready to spill her guts. Gabriella sensing it was one of those moments between sisters turned down the t.v. so they could have a serious talk. "I'm starting to regret ever dating Chad" said Taylor candidly.
"What?!" said Gabriella. "What do you mean; I thought you really liked him".
"I do…I mean I did. Chad just isn't who I thought he was and our relationship hasn't turned out like I thought it would…like I think we moved way to fast. Sometimes I felt that Chad was trying to compete with you and Troy with our relationship" said Taylor sadly.
"Seriously?! What would make you think that?" asked Gabriella.
"Like Chad has always been second in command to Troy, and he always loved that position, but he looks at it like it's his duty sometimes instead of just being a best friend, or a good basketball player, or just a good boyfriend. I mean Troy treats you like a queen Gabriella, and sometimes Chad had those moments with me but most times, it was a duty. If he couldn't have the hottest girl that East High had to offer, than he had to have the second best…and he always treated me that way…second best" said Taylor looking very sad.
"Wow Taylor that is…that's really deep. I never knew you felt that way…I mean when did this start, when did you start feeling this way?" asked Gabriella.
"It has always been there nagging at me from the beginning of our relationship. But I was just so excited that somebody as popular as Chad would ask me, you know the book worm, out that I just chalked it up to me being nervous about my first relationship. But as time went on, I noticed that I was more of a possession, you know an object to make him look good something that would balance out the Troy and Gabriella dynamic".
There was an awkward silence between the two. "Do you really look at me and Troy as the ultimate relationship? I mean because Taylor, we're really not trying to be…we have our problems too" said Gabriella quietly.
"I know you're not trying to be Gabriella…I didn't mean to offend you, but I think what you and Troy have is so awesome; you can tell that you really care for one another. I have just never experienced that with Chad, and it always made me kinda jealous. I mean I tried to experience that type of love with him, and that's part of the reason I think we moved to fast. I just really regret dating him" she said quietly.
"You regret…everything. Even him being your first" asked Gabriella quietly.
"Especially him being my first" she said fighting the tears back.
"But you said that night was so special" said Gabriella with her mouth slightly ajar.
"Yeah that night was special, but that is the only night for us that has been special when it comes to sex. Ever since then, it just feels like sex has been some chore. Like he has to have it even when I don't want to, and when we do it, it's just sex, not love making. There isn't any caressing or cuddling, it's just sex. It's the same when Chad and I kiss, I don't feel anything. No passion, no intimacy, no love, nothing. I'm starting to feel disgusted from just trying to be with him" said Taylor, while her eyes were out of focus. "I guess that's what I get for giving in so easily" she said more to herself than to Gabriella.
"Taylor oh my gosh" said Gabriella pulling her into a tight embrace. She hated the fact that Chad didn't treat her like the queen she was and she deserved so much more than to be someone's prize. Gabriella always had a hard time verbalizing her true emotions, so the she just held her best friend tightly and rubbed her back in a soothing way, hoping that Taylor would understand how much she cared for her.
Taylor took comfort in knowing that her best friend would always be there for her and she laid her head on Gabriella's shoulder. The two remained quiet as Gabriella rocked her slowly, making both of them feel very comfortable. Taylor broke away from the embrace and thanked Gabriella for being her best friend. She rubbed the side of Gabriella's arm slightly. There was a silence between the two that had always happened before but neither girl ever thought too much about it. Gabriella closed her eyes, as Taylor continued to rub the side of her arm and a soft and loving way. And than the unthinkable happened…
Gabriella felt a pair of soft lips on her own. She responded to the unexpected kiss and than pulled away immediately, shock all over her face.
"Gabriella I am so sorry" said Taylor getting up quickly and heading for the door. "I don't know what I was thinking…I'm really, really sorry" she said rushing back into the room to grab her forgotten things.
"Taylor wait!" yelled Gabriella.
"I think I should just be going" said Taylor rushing to the door once again. "I'm really late getting home, my mom is gonna kill me".
"Taylor!" yelled Gabriella, while turning her around, "I said wait". Gabriella moved her head in closer to Taylor's and kissed her really softly. Taylor finally felt the feeling she had been longing for, true tenderness and true intimacy. Taylor responded by deepening the kiss and Gabriella wrapped her arms around her body, beckoning for Taylor to get closer. They continued to kiss one another with light and deliberate kisses, their making out session would not be ruined by uncontrollable passion, but with a tenderness that Gabriella only experienced with Troy and Taylor had never experienced with anyone.
The odd pair continued to kiss right there in the middle of Gabriella's room, as the wind howled outside, both feeling an odd sense of comfort and peace.
"So how did you guys end up stopping?" asked Zeke.
Taylor had found herself recounting the story of her and Gabriella's first kiss during free period in the library in front of the person who found out her most embarrassing secret. "Her phone rang and we stopped. It was like we were in a trance, and the phone broke us out of it".
"Who was calling?" he asked.
"Troy" said Taylor quietly. "I just left, and neither one of us talked about what happened for weeks, but than one night she showed up at my door, and we started kissing again, just like we never had an intermission from the previous kiss".
"It sounds to me as if you and Gabriella really care for one another, might I even say love one another" said Zeke.
"Yeah I guess you can say that" said Taylor quietly, while she looked as if she was in a daze.
"Than why start messing with Troy?" asked Zeke.
"Well, Gabriella and I had been messing around for some time, and I was kinda pressuring her to define our relationship. Were we girlfriends or were we just friends with benefits. She was pulling away from Troy and I had already left Chad…at least in theory. Chad and I barely talked to one another; we were just waiting for which one of us was going to do the dumping. Anyway, Gabriella and I got into a huge argument when I dropped her home from school one day and she told me it was over, which hurt beyond belief, basically she barely wanted us to be friends let alone lovers. Not only did she get in an argument with me but she got into it with Troy, and that same night Troy ends up at my front door asking me what's going on with Gabriella".
Zeke just shook his head in understanding.
"Of course I lied to him and told him I didn't know anything…and he just broke down in front of me. He said he felt like he was losing her, and he didn't even know what he did wrong. I felt so guilty that I couldn't even talk…I just watched him spill his guts out and listened silently. Next thing I know we were kissing, I knew he only kissed me because he was in pain, but so was I. Besides I felt that tenderness from him that I felt when I kissed and made love with Gabriella, and before I knew it I was addicted. Being loved like that is like a drug, I had to have more, even though I knew it was wrong to mess with Gabriella's boyfriend, just like I knew it was wrong to mess with Troy's girlfriend"
"If you knew that than why keep going" asked Zeke sincerely.
"Honestly, I only kept going because I wanted to get back at Gabriella for hurting me at the time, and deep down inside I wanted to get back at Chad for treating me like shit the majority of our relationship, but than the unexpected happened. I actually started catching feelings for Troy, and I didn't know how to shut them off…and believe me I tried. Even when Gabriella said she wanted to get back together and I agreed that we should, I couldn't stop seeing Troy…it was like he gave me the attention and love that Chad never did and I loved him for it, I finally understood why Gabriella was so reluctant to let him go. He treats the woman he loves like royalty".
"I don't understand how any of you are treating each other with the respect you deserve if all of you are cheating on one another,…with each other" said Zeke sarcastically.
"Look Zeke, please don't judge me. I know what I'm doing is wrong, and I plan on handling it, but I don't need your disapproving eyes on me, judging me like I'm the scum of the earth. It is possible to love two people at the same time".
"I don't doubt that Taylor, but if Troy and Gabriella ever found out about this whole situation they are gonna be crushed, but the person who is gonna be hurt the most is not them….but you. You're gonna end up alone, if you don't fix this" said Zeke concernedly.
"I know" sighed Taylor heavily. "What should I do" she asked.
"You have to choose…simple as that" he said hunching his shoulders.
"Simple as that huh, if it's so easy than why can't I do it" she said.
"Because you're being selfish, you want things to go your way, since you feel like you've been cheated out of a proper love". "But the love you're experiencing now isn't right, because it's at the expense of someone else's feelings" said Zeke.
"I know that Zeke, but I've been with both of them, and it's hard for me to choose. I love both of them for completely different reasons, and reasons that are the exact same. I keep telling myself to enjoy the ride, and I do…but when I tell myself to choose I can't. This is the hardest decision I have ever had to make" she said.
"But you have to make this decision. You keep saying you love them both, but at what cost are you loving them. How can you say you really love them, when you are willingly hurting the both of them" said Zeke.
Taylor knew he was right but she was getting angrier by the minute, sitting here listening to someone tell her what she already knew she needed to do.
"Look, I appreciate your concern Zeke, but it's no way you could possibly understand what I'm going through. You know nothing of love, or keeping something so secret that it's damaging your heart. You don't know about the ache I walk around with on an everyday basis because of the guilt that's eating me up inside" she said fighting back tears. "I don't know how you found out, nor do I care, but I do want you to mind your own business from here on out. That's the best thing you can do to help me" said Taylor indignantly, while standing up to leave.
"Oh sure, I don't know anything about love or secrets. Well you're wrong McKessie, I know how to keep a secret because I have a few of my own" he said while standing up.
"What the hell are you talking about?" asked Taylor exasperated.
"What if I tell you that I have been in love with the same girl since freshman year" said Zeke.
"That's not a secret Zeke, everyone knows you fancy Sharpay" she said a little irritably.
"Well I bet you didn't know that we actually have been dating since freshman year, and the only reason we broke up this year is because she found out she was pregnant" he said quietly.
Taylor stared at him with a shocked expression. "Damn Zeke, I guess you have me beat".