"It's a lot easier to sound intelligent when you have a script," Callen pointed out coldly. As team leader, he felt he had to defend their integrity.

"It's a lot easier to sound intelligent if you actually are intelligent," Shane countered. "Come on, think about it."

Sam felt it was time to point out one or two things. "We normally have Eric putting up lots of cool images onscreen. And then Nell usually tells us something technical and that lets us make the connection. And it also lets the sponsors get screen-time for their products. Not to mention looking really cutting edge."

"You really want me to put up a picture of Deeks' crossing his eyes – again? Or how about a montage of you doing that little wink to camera - you know, the one you reckon I've never noticed, Sam?" Shane had never been too bothered about making friends. Being omnipotent was enough for him – after all, it was the ultimate aphrodisiac. What was wrong with ruling by fear? Besides which, those companies paid jolly well for the privilege of having their products onscreen. Plus, they were integral to the hip look of the programme. He could probably do without these four rather annoying people, but the gadgets were a must and were completely non-negotiable.

"That's mean," Kensi said.

"So sue me."

"You mean like Mr Bellisario is suing CBS?" Deeks asked innocently. He was highly gratified to see Shane take a small step backwards. "Only we don't talk about that, do we?"

"Do you know how pleased I am with the ratings for this season?" Shane said, seemingly a propos of nothing.

"No, but if you hum it, we'll do our best to join in." Deeks ducked just in time as Sam playfully threw a chair at his head. "Oh come on – he asked for it."

"How about the fact that Sam and Callen get the really cool cars and we don't?" Kensi suggested. That really rankled.

"You look good enough without any window-dressing," Shane said generously. "And I'm working on it." Not very hard, but I am working on it. In my spare time. In between counting all my lovely money and working out how to cram in even more explosions.

Kensi smiled at him. "Work harder," she advised. "And give us a clue."

"A clue?"

"Gesundheit," Deeks said automatically. So it was an old joke? So what. He believed in recycling. And so did Shane – it was cheaper.

"Give us a hint – so we can work out what we're missing."

"We're missing that guy from the first season," Sam said slowly. "Remember him?"

Blank looks greeted this statement.

"Not really," Kensi admitted.

"He was your partner – I think."

"Honestly? I had a partner before Deeks? What happened to him?" Deeks had spoiled her for all other men, after all.

"He died," Shane said shortly.

"I'm walking in dead men's shoes? Thanks a lot." Knowing his luck (homicidal father, ex-partner getting blown up, ex-girlfriend putting a hit out on his best friend) the guy probably had athlete's foot. Or verrucas. Or both.

"It's nothing to do with him. Try again."

"It's something to do with us? With all of us?"

Shane nodded. "Think back to the pilot."

"It was a cross-over," Callen said slowly. "With NCIS."

Shane glared at him. "Don't say that again. You never know who might be listening. Mr Bellisario is very well-connected." He just wished that pesky lawsuit would go away because it was a trifle embarrassing.

"Callen got shot at the end," Kensi remembered.

"And we have a winner!" Shane looked upwards and Eric dutifully blew an alpenhorn that just happened to be nestling unobtrusively on the balcony in exactly the way that nine-foot long musical instruments don't.

"You want to explain that? You know, sort of like the trailer for the second instalment of a two-part episode?" Callen was on a roll. He took a deep breath and started:

"Last week on NCIS: Los Angeles: daring, handsome and debonair team leader G Callen, fearlessly led his team…" He looked over to Sam.

"… of highly skilled agents, including ex-navy SEAL Sam Hannah – tall, dark and deadly, with a nice line in depreciating wit…"

Kensi didn't miss a beat. "… and not forgetting Kensi Blye, possibly the hottest and coolest agent ever to be poured into a pair of skinny jeans…"

"How about I just take my shirt off and pout?" Deeks offered.

"How about you take your pants off too?" Kensi suggested sweetly. "That'll do wonders for the viewing figures."

Shane looked at his hapless flunky. "Make a note of that."

"I still don't understand." Deeks looked at the others. "Tell me I'm not alone?"

"You can't be hot and smart," Sam said kindly.

Kensi looked at him. "I can. It's not a problem."

"Just stereotype me as the dumb blond, why don't you?"

"See you asked so nicely,Deeks, I will."

"How about you explain it to me then, Ms Tight-Fitting Smarty Pants?" Deeks invited. "Exactly how does Callen getting shot have anything to do with distinguishing features?"