Okay, so here's the deal. I'm about to jump on an airplane tomorrow in order to make my way home to mommy for Christmas ;)

But before I can do that I have a ton of things that needs to be done. By all means, I can only offer you ONE chapter today and frankly I think it's a kind of boring one my self so I'll apologize for that. But I will promise you though that there is A LOT of sexual frustration coming for Arizona and Callie in my next chapters and I also promise to spend my time writing during my travel time.

So, can we all agree to that? :)

CHAPTER 18

Slower slower

We don't have time for that

All I want is to find an easier way

To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear

We're bound to be afraid

Even if it's just for a few days

Making up for all this mess

My dearest Calliope,

Is there still right and wrong in life? Truth or lie? I can't seem to get this thought out of my mind these days. It is like the black and white lines separate truth and lies in life have got a heavy shade of grey in them and nothing seems to be absolute anymore. And if that's it, is the truth negotiable? It is like something is forcing us to tell little white lies, not only to others but to our selves as well. And we keep telling our selves that it's okay in some way because if we keep on doing that then the world around us will be, as we want it to be. Does it mean that the real truth can catch up in the future or do we get away with it?

I don't want it to be something you can play with though. So I choose to believe that the truth is still absolute. I wish for you to believe that the truth is absolute. Even when the truth is cold and hurt you more than anything. Even if the truth is hurting you more than you can imagine…even if it hurts you more than life it self.

All my Love,

A

Callie felt more peaceful than she had been feeling in weeks of time. She had just finished her shift and was about to meet up with Mark, Derek, Bailey and Teddy at Joe's for a drink. Arizona was still working and they hadn't seen or talked to each other since their goodbye outside Dr Wyatt's office. Although everything she thought about doing right now was to find the blonde just to see her one more time today Callie knew she had to try and wait for their breakfast-date tomorrow morning. It was just that everything really felt mind blowing right now. The session with Dr Wyatt had really opened her eyes and now she was seeing things from a whole new perspective. That thing that Dr Wyatt had pointed out, about her being angry with Arizona because she vas the only one who'd ever come back, was in fact something she could rely on. It was simple when she thought about it. Arizona was back. That was all she needed. Her insecurity about the blonde might be leaving again she was going to have to work with. But she had faith in that as long as they were open and honest and talked to each other, they would work things out. This whole mess could actually lead them to a deeper, more realistic and honest relationship. And no matter what happened down the road Callie would just have to remember that she did love Arizona Robbins.

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Arizona yawned and stretched. She had been dictating charts for about almost two hours now and after noticing the time she saw that it was time for rounds. 20.00 pm. She had been on her feet since the early morning and she still had a couple of hours to before she was allowed get out of the hospital. Teddy was going to wait for her since the cardio surgeon had notified that she was going to Joe's to get some drinks to relax with after her marathon shift had ended tonight. Arizona couldn't help but wonder if Callie was going to Joe's as well and if that was the case, was Mark also going to be there? Arizona shook her head lightly to get rid of the green-eyed monster that popped up in her head just at the thought of Mark.

"Get a grip Robbins", she said in a low voice to herself.

She had to trust Callie was not going to leave her for Mark. Her insecurity was usually not her biggest problems when it came down to relationships but with Callie, every thing was different. She had to remember that to. Callie was making her vulnerable in ways that she didn't know how to handle. Well, she just had to remember that no matter what happened, she loved Calliope Torres very much.

She got up from the chair, gathered her charts together and headed out to meet Alex Karev and Meredith Grey who would be working the night shift in PED. Arizona opened the door out from the lounge she had been working in and took the elevator down to the main floor to drop off her charts in the main reception. She left the charts with a nurse and put her lab coat on. It was then she saw Callie coming down the stairs and her face lit up in a smile.

"I didn't think I was going to be this lucky tonight", Arizona smiled. "Are you heading over to Joe's?

Callie looked happily at the blonde PED surgeon.

"Surprise, surprise! Yes, I am. I could use a glass of wine before it's bedtime. It has been a long day.

Arizona raised her eyebrows.

"But I guess that I shouldn't complain since you're still here and I'm not going to be soon", Callie stated.

"You got that right missy", Arizona said. "No complains from you because I've been here just as long as you have and I'm not allowed to go home yet!"

For some reason there was an awkward silence that came over them and it got Arizona to laugh out nervously.

"If I ask you something would you promise me to not be annoyed with me or think that I'm stupid?" the blonde questioned hesitantly.

Callie looked slightly surprised but nodded her response.

"I know I'm being weird and stupid about this", Arizona started. "And we had a great talk at Dr Wyatt's today. I mean, REALLY great, and it felt so good afterwards but we didn't talk about that one thing, or that one person that make me feel a little uncomfortable at the moment."

Callie saw the insecurity in the blonde's baby blue eyes.

"You want to know if Mark is going to be at Joe's, right?" she asked softly.

Arizona blushed and looked down at her feet.

"Uum…yeah."

"If I told you that he is going to be there, can I ask you a question back?" the brunette said cautiously.

Arizona lifted her eyes from the ground. Callie did not sound upset or irritated at all. In fact she just stood there smiling small at the blonde and her voice was soft and friendly.

"Yes, you can. Ask me back."

"How do you feel when I say that Mark is going to be there?" Callie asked and waited attentively for the answer.

Arizona swallowed before she talked again.

"I would lie if I told you I was totally fine with that."

"I don't want you to lie about it." Callie said. "Tell me."

"It makes me feel insecure", the blonde said in a small voice. "And as much I would like to tell you to not see him or talk with him right now I know that I can't do that. I don't know, maybe it's because I know that you and I still are in a rocky place. And I know that you talk to Mark because he is your friend but it makes me feel uncomfortable when I know that he knows what's going on between you and me at the moment."

I'm sorry", Callie said.

"W-w-hat? Why do you tell me you're sorry? That wasn't what I expected to hear at all", Arizona said and blinked in confusion.

"I'm sorry that I slept with Mark", Callie continued. "I haven't said that to you yet and I wanted to. So, I'm sorry. I don't know if it helps but I really wanted to tell you that anyway. And you're right, you can't tell me or forbid me to see him or talk with him, but you know what? I can promise you that I'm not going to confide in him or anyone else right now on what's going on between you and me because that's only for us to know. Okay?"

Callie gave the blonde a loving gaze and waited for Arizona's answer.

"I don't know if it helps either but I really, really appreciate that you said it", she said sincerely. "It would mean a lot to me if we could keep a low profile about our relationship to our nosy colleagues and friends just until we have figured things out and are in some sort of stabile ground again."

"I agree", Callie replied. "So, how was that for our first 'How do you feel about that' conversation? Because I was thinking that it felt very nice."

"And don't forget mature", Arizona pointed out with a twinkle in her baby blue eyes. "I'm really glad we talked Calliope."

"I am too. So, I'll guess I see you tomorrow morning then? How about we meet at the Starbuck's who is situated most near the hospital, say around nine o'clock? I don't have to be here until eleven anyway and I'm guessing your shift starts at lunchtime if nothing unpredictable shows up?"

"Yes and yes and yes", Arizona agreed. "And Calliope?"

The brunette eyed the blonde with an expectantly expression on her face.

"Have a nice time tonight."