Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life
-lpwriter4life was the only one who got the song :3 It was Trapt- headstrong
Alien
Chapter 3: Smile Whydontcha?
I hated how my dad could be social and I was stuck in a fragile state. I was terrified to death of talking! Anyways, I didn't want to wake up from my slumber at all, it was the only place I was free from my demons. You'd think I'd have nightmares, but once my head hit's the pillow I'm free. I've never once had a nightmare about that horrible night, and of that I'm glad. I don't think I could ever relive that shit, and if I did, I don't know how I would handle it.
I was most definitely not looking forward to company. I mean would it kill my dad to allow us some peace and quiet for once? I mean he knows how much I need quiet. Sometimes I get these real bad headaches or blackout from the noise. I know that seems drastic, but my doctor told me it's a repressed reminder of the past and it makes noise overpowering for my senses.
There are too many things wrong with me. You'd be better off just making fun at me from a distance, so then you can save yourself the heart ache. But that's just how I've learned to live with things. It's so much easier if I don't have friends, even though I find myself wishing otherwise. Would anyone want to be the quiet girl's friend in the first place? Things were about to change for the better I guess.
I was currently helping my dad slice up tomatoes in our giant kitchen. I swear one missed step and you might get lost through the floors. We were going to be preparing salads to start everyone off. I mean food is food, why do we need 3 courses? I guess it's a chef thing or something, but whatever makes him happy. And I don't mind to help, it takes my mind off of everything.
"Do you mind finishing up the salad bowl while I toss some steak and stuff on the grill?" Dad asked me. I only shrugged, I didn't mind. I wondered if he realized how much I enjoyed being this close with him? It almost reminded me of the old times when I helped him out in the kitchen. He gracefully pounced outside, sticking food on the grill and watching it simmer.
I sighed, but tossed the salad. Who knows, maybe I can get the fresh start my therapist was talking about. She would say getting away is the best therapeutic way to heal internally. I don't really feel any different, but you know, I guess the shit I've been through takes a while to finally get over.
I wish I could have slept longer than I did. Only sleeping for about an hour and a half doesn't really do anything for my body except maybe make me even more tired. Is that even possible? Who knows. I'm going to hate life tomorrow when I'm going to be forced out of bed at 6! To go to school where people will make fun of me, I cant wait.
"They're on their way!" My dad bellowed through the open window. We didn't have air conditioning yet, and I was sweating, but not too bad. The long sleeves were killing me, but I didn't want them to know about the cuts. I didn't want them to know about me at all. I wanted to just be left alone… no I didn't, I wanted friends…
Knocking on the front door took me out of my ferocious thinking. "Answer it!" My dad whispered quickly to me. I rolled my eyes, all he wanted to do was impress Simone. All it was, was another notch on his bedpost. And I'm silently hoping that she wont give in to him, she seems so much better than that.
I scurried my way to the living room, tripping on my own two feet of course. I was making a fool of myself and they weren't even in here yet. My body harshly connected to the door, making a loud thump noise. I quickly picked myself off the ground and dusted my bare legs off and adjusted my shorts. I knew I was blushing madly when I opened the door to let in our guests.
They looked like they didn't know whether to crack up at my ruffled expression or to just play it off and pretend like nothing happened. Tom was smirking like crazy, and trying his hardest not to laugh.
"Hello dear!" Simone cooed wrapping her arms around me in a giant hug. I just kind of stood there and awkwardly patted her with my right hand. "Where's Max dear?" She smiled her sweet smile down at me as her black curled bounced around her chubby face. God she was gorgeous. I faintly smiled and took hold of her hand and led her towards the kitchen where my dad was found.
"Abby!" Bill bounced behind me. "Do you have personal space issues?" I shook my head, I didn't. He blushed a bit. "Good!" He gathered me up in a giant hug, lifting my small frame off the ground and twirling me around. "You are adorable! And I just love the color of your shirt!" His brown eyes sparkled.
I held up a finger telling him to hold on a second, as lame as it sounds, I wanted to make sure the salad was going good, since dad was hanging out with Simone. Sometime I had to be the adult around the house. Everything looked good. Grabbing my dry erase board I followed Bill out into the front room where everyone waited for us. I was indeed nervous.
Bill sat down happily next to me and linked his arm through mine. Clingy much? But I didn't mind, I loved his warmth. He gave me introductions to everyone, even though I've met them all but one. "As you already know they are Georg and Tom, and if you're wondering that's Shilo, Tom's girlfriend."
Shilo gave me a great wave and smile, she was so gorgeous. She had long dark hair, beautiful brown eyes and killer curves. She had on a pair of jean Capri's and a snug purple shirt. I wish I had those curves, I couldn't get over how pretty she was. "Hey Abby! You're so pretty!" She gushed.
Not as pretty as you of course :P I scribbled down. At least I had pretty handwriting, but that's about all I had going for me.
"Don't you dare talk like that!" She said. Shilo sounded like a very straightforward person, and I admired that about her. I love honest people, its better than the ones who lie to make you feel better. "Everyone is gorgeous in their own way, and that face is stunning."
I blushed. Thanks.
"Oh god, change the subject hurry!" Georg wailed. He saw my confused expression. "Once she gets started she never stops."
I faintly smiled, my mom used to be like that.
Tom butted in this time. "You guys don't even get started."
Bill snorted. "Shilo and Georg are always getting into it with the weirdest things!" He then launched into a story about one time when Georg was stuck in a ditch and couldn't get out. "Shilo wouldn't help him out, and all hell broke loose! I came home one day from school, and took a nap, when I woke up Georg had left me so many texts about how he got in the ditch, and he needed help out."
"Must we bring up the 'No one believes Georg that Shilo totally pushed me in the ditch' incident?" Georg asked, already sounding wore out.
"Just trying to lighten the mood." Bill laughed.
"Anyways!" Shilo switched the subject. "Is your hair naturally blonde?" I nodded. "It's so pretty!" She thought of something else to say but Georg started before she could.
"So Aunt Simone says you come from the states, what's it like there?" He seemed genuinely interested. And the rest of the crew chorused that they wanted to know too.
Well the US is definitely interesting, but I guess it's where you decide you want to visit.
"Where are you from?" Bill asked, giving my hand a light squeeze.
Louisville.
"Which state is that in?" Shilo asked. This feels funny, I've never talked about where I'm from and stuff like that.
I smiled faintly. Kentucky. It's not all that great, but it's home.
"Aw! You are so cute!" She exclaimed at me. It may seem weird, but I felt an odd attraction to her, it's like I knew her or something. "I myself am from Australia." She beamed. I knew she wasn't from here, I just couldn't place her accent.
How long have you been in Germany? I wrote for her.
She thought it over in her head. "About 10 years probably." She leaned her head on Tom's shoulder and he leaned into her touch, they were cute.
"What do you have to do for fun here?" Tom asked.
"Tomi!" Bill exclaimed. "You are so rude!" He tried swatting at his twin, but failing since he had me and Shilo to try to get over.
I rolled my eyes. We have nothing since we just moved in. Haven't even been to the store yet.
"What kind of things did you bring from the States? I'd love to see some stuff!" Georg asked excitedly.
Well I didn't really bring anything… uhm this couch?
Georg laughed. "Of course silly! I was talking about maybe stuff Germany don't have."
I'm not sure :P
"Tell us about your old school and your friends, I bet you miss them." Bill asked me sweetly. He was definitely the caring one out of the bunch.
School was ok until I stopped talking, then it was awful. And my friends suck. I guess I could clue them in a bit.
"So you used to talk?" Tom asked. Bill looked like he was about to lash out at him again for being so abrupt towards me, but in all honesty I didn't mind.
Yeah.
"What made you stop talking if I may ask?" Shilo decided to chime in when the others didn't, because they knew they crossed some boundary but she wanted to finish it.
Things happened.
"What kind of things?"
Don't want to talk about it.
Tom nudged Shilo. "She don't want to talk about it, leave the poor girl alone."
"Sorry." She muttered. "Caught up in the moment of asking questions I guess."
Don't worry about it.
"You should put a smile on your face." Bill said to me.
Nah.
"Why not?" He asked with a sad face. I just shrugged. "What if I tickled you?" He said with an evil glint in his eyes.
I would hate you forever.
"Forever?" He echoed. I shrugged. His face fell. I mean its not my fault I'm not really a people person.
"Hey Abby!" Shilo sang towards me. "We should definitely hang out sometime."
What are we doing now?
She actually laughed. Not one of those tiny laughs, but she seriously thought I was hilarious. I sat back and leaned against Bill, who threw his arm around me and pulled me closer. I waited for her to calm down to give me an explanation. She was gasping for air.
"Well I know that!" She said playfully. "I mean like have a sleepover or something?"
I actually snorted at my slowness, and I caught a hint of a smile on Bill's face out of the corner of my eye. I knew he was happy at my progress. Ah! Of course, sometime soon?
She smiled happily. "How about this Saturday?"
Sure.
"Aren't you going to have to ask Max?"
Doubt he'd care, and he'd probably be away at his restaurant anyways. it's a full time thing almost you know.
She sighed. "I know how you feel, my mum is always away doing her thing, and my dad left us a long time ago. Being alone is awful, so if you ever need a friend give me a ring?" She busied herself in her purse. "Got a cell?"
Despite my not talking and all I did have one. I handed it over and she slowly placed her number in there. The dumb thing could get a bit complicated after all. And of course after she gave me her number, the boys all had to too. They were tapping away at my screen and taking pictures of themselves. I rolled my eyes, they were something else.
"Here, take your picture with me?" Bill asked innocently. I really hated taking my picture, because I always hated my image, but how could I say no to that face? I nodded and put my face next to his, and I even smiled. He looked down at our picture and smiled. "Were sexy!" He beamed.
My eyes lit up with excitement, he was hilarious. I looked down at the picture and sighed. But I guess it would do. Simone noisily bounded through the walkway to the room and almost tripped.
"Whoa, that made me feel like I was going to fall!"
I'm sayin! I wrote on my board. Everyone cracked up, since I verified I did fall earlier on the door. My knees were a bit red from carpet burn when I scraped it being clumsy.
She playfully rolled her eyes. "Max said the food is ready." Smiling she backed into the kitchen.
I silently got up and walked my way slowly to the kitchen. It may be a little rude to leave them behind, but I felt a bit confused right now. Like if they were my friends or not? The way they were talking they were. I let out a quiet sigh and took my place at the table. Bill plopped noisily down next to me, holding onto my arm for support when his boot got caught on the table leg.
I cracked a giant smile. He smiled at me. "Ah so you smile when I'm about to go down?" He laughed.
Something like that : )
"Glad to know I amuse you." He laughed.
Everyone got quiet as my dad placed the food on the table. I'm guessing he forgot about the pizza for me and the twins, so we're probably going to be stuck eating only salad. I didn't mind, it tasted refreshing. And everyone needs a good dosing of vegetables once in a while. I placed my board in my lap, marker next to my plate.
"Tell us about how you got here." Georg asked. I'm guessing he loves hearing stories about traveling and stuff. I love to travel, and sightsee.
"Well, our therapist thought it was a good idea to finally change scenery, and I couldn't agree more." Oh hell, my dad let the truth slip too much, even though the therapist said truth heals all. I didn't like the feel of having everything out in the open.
"Oh yeah, therapy is always tough." Simone soothed away any of the awkward. But brought it back when she started talking to me, I mean it was unintentional. "So Abbs, what did you like to do in your free time."
I went to grab my marker when my dad answered for me. "Well when she could, she would always practice with her band, what were you guys called?" He thought for a second. "The bird?"
Raven. You idiot! Some dad he is, to not remember his daughter's band.
"Yeah! Raven. Anyways, they were pretty good before all the crap with…" I cocked back my leg and kicked him as hard as I could with my converse clad foot.
"Oh damn!" Simone shouted with all her might. My eyes grew huge, oh fuck, I missed my dad. "Bill you little ass!" She exclaimed in pain.
Bill looked alarmed, while Tom found it funny and snorted. "What is it?"
"Oh don't you play dumb." She stated. "Keep those boots to yourself got it?" Bill nodded confused. "You'll have to excuse my son, he's usually well behaved." She tried to rub away the pain I had caused her in her poor little leg.
My dad gave me a knowing glance, he knew what I was trying to get at.
"So tell me about your band!" Exclaimed Tom.
Well we were pretty unique. Our scene was Rock, and we were getting pretty popular, we even had someone wanting to manage us! But eh, I couldn't do it anymore, so they replaced me.
"Oh jeez, they sound like jerks." Bill stated. "As long as you were having fun in the process am I right?"
I nodded slightly. He was most certainly right, and I never thought of it that way. I'm glad he shined some new light on the way I thought of things.
"Boys, tell her about your band? If she hasn't already heard about it?" Simone cut in.
Bill smiled hugely at me. "Have you ever heard of Tokio Hotel?" I thought it over, they did sound very familiar. And it dawned on me, I knew they looked familiar.
Ready, Set, Go! Monsoon?
Georg laughed. "Yeah that's us! How come you didn't say you were a fan sooner?" He asked excitedly.
I rolled my eyes. I'm not really a fan sorry :P But I've clicked around and saw a few music videos before.
"Hey, isn't Tokio Hotel the people you had me film that week while you had orientation at school?" My dad blurted his big mouth.
I felt my cheeks tinge pink.
"Nothing to be ashamed about if you are a fan." Bill comforted me.
I just wanted to see what you guys were all about.
My dad chuckled. "And you had better of liked what they were about, since you made me sit there in front of the TV for an hour a straight for a week filming for you… I was so sore from not moving!"
I'm not a fan.
Bill laughed. "It sure don't sound like it." Well I hate to break it to them, I really wasn't a fan, I just didn't want to miss out on TRL and stuff, but there's no convincing anyone.
I slouched down in my seat. "Slouching isn't ladylike dear!" Simone scolded. "It'll make you have bad posture when you're older." I glanced at Tom whose sitting stance mirrored mine but worse.
Back problems, cant sit up straight.
XxX
Lets just say dinner wasn't all that horrible and it made me realize I had made new friends. Shilo could be my girl best friend, and Bill could be my guy best friend. Now all it took was a bit of time to get myself used to the thought of it. And the scary part was, I think I'm ready to have friends, and start off my life anew.
I found myself giving everyone a giant hug on their way out, but it didn't stop the loneliness I felt when they were gone for good. It want enough to go to my razor, my habit was going to have to stop, but I knew it wasn't going to be for long, I always came back to it.
Speaking of new things, I was dreading tomorrow, but it was something I couldn't stop. My first day of Junior year was about to start and I was scared out of my mind. I figured out that everyone but Georg goes to the high school up the road, he was only here visiting for the weekend. I admit the school halls are going to be bare without his loudmouth there.
Shilo was in a grade lower than me and the twins, but I couldn't wait to see her again. Things were finally looking up and it felt great. Its good to forget my past for once and live in the present.
Hopefully tomorrow isn't as frightening as I make it out to be in my head.
? You like? I'll warn you all its not going to get too happy, since she has a dark past.. But we'll see where it goes from here, eh?
LYRICS :D [I copied and pasted, I don't know how well the FF site will lay them out on there, but here ya go :D]
Like memories of dying daysThat deafen us like hurricanesBathed in flames we held the brandUncurled the fingers in your handPressed into the flesh like sandNow do you understand?
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