-I appologize for any grammatical errors I may have. I'm not perfect. : )

Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC

Lpwriter4life & SaVed By MuSiC got the song. Prelude- AFI

Alien

Chapter 8: Bonding in ISAP

"My name is Mr. Whipple," The ISAP teacher started off. "And by the looks of you guys, I've never seen you in here before, so there are some ground rules I'd like to go through with you all. Once you guys finish this sheet," Sheet? He held up this thick packet. "I don't give a crap what you guys do next. Simple enough for you?" He was super intimidating, I really hope I wouldn't have to go here again.

He slapped the packet in front of me, and it gave the room a tremendous echo. I slouched at my table, resting my cheek in my hands. Rifling through it I saw things I never learned about. Biology was the first lesson, Math was the last one; thank god! Health, Art and then there was some creative writing to go through. Well it didn't seem too difficult. I was just going to get Biology out of the way.

I honestly wished I paid more attention in Bio back home, the sheet was about chromosomes and genes, then randomly about carrying capacity in a city. I diligently worked, barely making any noise with my blue ink pen. I was yawning before the dumb section was over, I mean seriously? I think my lowest grade was in Bio back home, so I didn't really expect myself to complete it right.

Bio was done within minutes, since I guessed on the gene box. Health was a synch, it was mainly talking about STD's and using protection, so I guess you could say it was more of an article than anything. It was super awkward learning about diseases and sex! I wanted to save creative writing for last, so my mind could loosen up a bit. It was my escape, besides writing in my journals and diaries.

Its safe to say I guessed on the Math section, since I didn't really know anything about Pre-Calc. All I did know is that it was super hard without a calculator! It took me about an hour to guess and bluff my way through. I chanced a glance at Bill, and it made me blush because he was already staring at me. Almost done? I played it off. It was cute when he was on the first page of his packet.

Creative writing was a blast, but that's just me. I loved to be creative, it freed my mind of any negative reminders of the past. Like Him. I shook my head violently, I was not going to have a panic attack about that man, around friends. I gave a shaky sigh, I knew I was going to be okay for now. It's getting better, my attacks. The last one I had one was at the twins' house, and I hope to god that'll be my last.

I read the directions, not really seeing them so I had to keep re-reading them. After the 6th or so time I understood. Ever happen to you? Your scene is the ocean, make out of it what you will. Describe to me what you see when you look at it or place yourself in the setting, what are you doing? The sheet said. This was going to be fun, since I've never been to the beach before.

So I wrote. La Playa. Strand. La Plage. The beach. Whatever you may call it. It's so peaceful when I lay in the sand, letting the foamy water wisp at my bare legs, the feeling is delightful. I only come here in my mind, so it seems. An escape from my saddened state; here I can be anything, do anything. Right now? I choose to come to the beach, for I've never been in my mind. Ever.

I wonder why? It's amazing. Usually I'm stuck in my American thoughts, at the graveyard visiting the deceased, thinking, wondering, always wishing. Those thoughts weren't tolerated here, I came to cleanse. Evil be gone. So I settled on the glorious sunset instead, warm colors ty-dyed in one. I can sigh in relief, nothing can get me here. My doubts vanish, things become invisible. Fears. Gone.

Seagulls caw, dolphins play shyly in the cool waters of the Atlantic, kids laughing on the near by rock mounds. Today is one of the greatest I've had in a while, too bad it isn't real. I wish things like this could be real, but to me it just didn't seem possible to exist. I had thin hope though, it kept me being going. And that's all it takes, hope. I finally have that now, and I give my friends all my thanks. To me a sunset isn't an end, it's the start of something new to come. As long as the sun rises, there is always something possible.

Sunsets are calming, I love how it washes over my soaked form, revealing the stars that it hides in its glorious shine. Time to go, don't want my dad to worry. We all know he has worried too much over the years, no need to put more strain on his poor heart. I grab up my worn converse by the laces and stroll off into the darkness. Safe. Peace. Comfort. Home.

I drop my pen with a satisfied smirk. I knew I did good, and Danzig would love what I wrote. This would be the only time I'd ever sound full of myself, because frankly I knew I was good at this kind of stuff. But I wasn't going to gloat it to anyone, I hate people who did that, so why would I do it myself?

I stood from my seat, stretching and straightening out my back. It felt good to finally be about to move around, even though I was only setting for a few hours. I tossed the packet down on Mr. Whipple's desk and he gave me a warning glance. I rolled my eyes when I turned around. How could a man with such a silly last name be so intimidating? I was stopped short with my mental ranting with Shilo sitting at my table with a smug look on her face.

I pulled over a chair next to her, making tons of unwanted noise in the process. It made me blush, since I liked to be quiet. I dug my dry erase board out of my bag so I could write to her, since she couldn't read lips. To my surprise she talked first. Whipple had turned on the radio to some German rock station, so it wouldn't be quiet in here. I would actually have to lean towards Shilo to hear her. So that's good.

"Are you ready for this weekend?" She asked, with a wicked smile playing at her full lips. She had recently put on cotton candy lip gloss, because I could smell it. I loved the smell.

I nodded. Have you decided whose house we'd be spending it at? :D It's going to be so much fun!

She smiled at me, brushing her dark hair over her shoulder. "I'd like to come stay at your place, I think it'd be easier." When I gave her a questioning glance she continued talking. I mean she didn't have to, I didn't want to feel like I was intruding on personal matters. She noticed me worrying. "Ah, don't worry Abby, I don't mind talking about myself for a while." She winked at me, she was thoughtful, trying to feel in the silences and all.

I didn't mind, and this is when I knew she could be my girl best friend. She spilled her story to me, and didn't worry about my reaction because she had trust in me. Why couldn't I be more like that? More strong willed and uncaring of others thoughts? I would really feel better if I let it all out, but this wasn't about me, it was about Shilo.

"I just like to get away from my hectic house sometimes." She rolled her eyes. "Its weird to think my house is a personal hell hole. My mom is always drinking or doing some serious drugs and my dad is gone, they got a divorce when I was little, I barely remember him." She sighed, not really a sad sigh. "Not to mention my brother! He's a complete asshole, well not really, just a player." She rolled her eyes, trying to gauge my reaction.

I just had to know one thing. How can you bare to talk about all this?

It's like nothing hurt her on the outside. Why couldn't I be strong? "I can bare to talk about it because I know its real and happening, and in my eyes I could have had it so much worse you know?" I nodded. It could have been worse, she could have been through what I did. "I guess I was sort of sad and lonely before Tom came along, he's given me everything to look forward to. A good home to go to when I need. He'll never fail on me, unlike my own flesh and blood."

You're too good of a person to have anything bad happen to. I don't know what I would do if I woke up and you weren't here. You're my girl best friend :D

"Aren't you sweet?" She cooed. Then looked over my shoulder to the twins and sighed. "They are some slow mother fuckers aren't they?" I laughed, and they looked up highly confused. She stared at Tom. "That's right, we were talking about you guys." They way she said it, made it sound like a flirt.

"Baker!" Whipple yelled. "Leave them to do their work!"

"Yes sir!" She yelled back, with a little too much enthusiasm. "Dickhead." She muttered under her breath to me. I smiled. "Only a couple of minutes until lunch aren't you excited?"

I glared at the clock, a couple of minutes? That's almost an hour until we go to lunch -_- I think I'm going to starve to death!

Shilo had amusement in her eyes as she stared at the board. "I'm sure we'll think of something to do to fill the time before we go." She stopped to think for a second. "How about you tell me stuff about you? Here I am rambling about me."

I shook my head. It's fine really :P

"But I really want to get to know you Abby, you seem like such a nice person, if only I knew you a little better." I really wish I could tell her stuff about me. I will, but I'll have to keep it pretty simple.

Okay : ) Um, I absolutely hate the quiet sometimes, I hate being alone, I hate dogs, and I'm lazy :D

She smiled like we were making progress. "Wow, you seem to hate a lot, what are some things you love?" Now she was just curious.

I love sunsets, star gazing, cats, my family, the present. I don't know really.

"I don't know if it's rude, but where's the rest of your family? Did they split up like mine?"

Something like that. I felt bad, but I couldn't talk about it just yet. See? I was just one big coward, I couldn't be like Shilo and just express myself, I had to care. I slouched deeper in my seat. Great.

"I get it dear, you don't want to talk about it." She gave a sad smile. "But you will someday right?" She asked. "Sorry to sound pushy, but you intrigue me, and I honestly want to help you."

What makes you think I need help? I wasn't getting snappy, it was really a question. And I'm glad I didn't make her mad, I couldn't lose her.

She shrugged. "I don't know, but I just want to let you know we're here for you ok? Bill can help too, between you and me I think he totally likes you." She smiled my way. "Tom could help too, but he's not really open, he'd probably make you feel a bit awkward." She said sadly. Wait what?

My head shot up at what she said about Bill. What? I mouthed. Too shocked to actually write it down.

"Tom would…" She trailed off when I raised my eyebrows alarmingly. "Chill girl, I was just playing." She laughed. "But, Bill totally does." She dropped her voice.

I shook my head, blush spreading across my whole face! I was probably the hue of a tomato! God that was embarrassing. No way could Bill like a nobody like me… There I go being in denial. There was a little nagging at the back of my mind; secretly I thought Bill liked me too. I was just too broken to come to terms with anything.

Shilo knew I was having an internal battle, but chose to change the subject. This whole group of friends could talk, and honestly for that I am grateful. It filled the silence that would be there if they didn't. She talked about how her and Tom met, a stroke of luck she says. Her car conveniently broke down in front of his house during a monster tornado weather night. They took her for a fan and wouldn't talk to her, but eventually Simone convinced them otherwise.

Tom apparently only had eyes for her, and by the looks of them now, I definitely believed her. Bill on the other hand hasn't had a girlfriend since she's known them, and its been quite a long while. So Bill isn't gay! Just really handy with makeup, and dressed feminine. What's wrong with that? It actually made my heart swell a bit, knowing I may have an actual chance with him.

The better question was, would I let him break me down enough to get to know me? Yeah, I didn't even know that answer. It'd be cool though, I haven't had a boyfriend, or anything to that nature since Jaimie. He's been my only one I've ever had. It'd be cool for a change. Ugh, I don't even know why I'm getting full of myself, I know I'm going to be thinking differently later.

"Why so down?" Shilo prodded. I didn't blame her, I stayed perfectly tucked in my impossible shell.

Just thinking. I wrote. How different everything has become since I've came here… it's changed for the better, and I'm glad. I smiled as she finished reading with a grin of her own.

"I'm glad moving here helped change your life around for the better." She said, tying up her hair in a bun. God I hated when girls did that, in 7th grade I sat behind this girl named Megan, and that's all she did was tie her hair in a bun every two seconds.

The only aspects of my life that are changing are in the friend department. Everything else sucked for me. But hopefully things would be improving soon! I smiled.

"Whoa! Random smiles! Is that a good thing?" I nodded with a laugh. "I've noticed that too, you laugh now." The topic changed quick though. "I know it may seem rude, but does it ever get hard not talking?" Her voice was sincere.

Absolutely not… I wasn't going to tell her that not talking was saving lives. Confused? Yeah, it's a long story. Will you hear about it? Maybe.

"You're going to be hard to crack aren't you?" She asked. "Sorry again, I'm just used to predicting people, and what their all about. Sorry."

Quit apologizing :P I'm just not that open of a person, not even my therapist got me to talk, so don't feel bad.

I could see the gears turning in her head, I just hope she wasn't judging me. "It's ok dear, I guess you'll open up in time."

I hope, that's all I want…

"Aww! Sorry but I really want to hug you right now!" She wrapped her arms firmly around me and I propped my head on her shoulder, Bill was giving me a wtf look. But I just gave him a confused stare, what brought all this on? She didn't stop squeezing until I hugged her back.

Why did you just give me a random hug?

"Because I know you're hurting, and your scared, and I just felt that you needed a big hug!" Well Shilo was secretly a giant teddy bear. She held up a tough front in front of people she didn't know well or didn't care to know, but with her friends she totally melted.

Thank you, you are seriously amazing!

"Not as amazing as you of course!"

I rolled my eyes. We might as well settle this now, because this can go on forever!

"Okay, how about we're equally amazing?" She laughed when I gave a small smile and nodded. "Good!" She thought about our next topic. "Tell me about your old school, I see your class ring you have, was it like this place?" She seemed eager to know about the world around her.

Ah, I got my class ring early since I knew I was going to be moving. But my school was a huge joke, once I stopped talking everyone turned on me. It was super tough.

"Awh, I know how that is! At least you're here now with people who care about you. And never once doubt us, because no matter what happens we'll always be here for you." She smiled, giving my shoulder a firm squeeze.

I nodded, but continued writing about my old school. The only electives we had there was Art and dumb stuff, it was a total bore.

"How'd you do in art? I bet you're a little artist! You look like one!" She cooed.

My body froze, I should have never brought up art class. Worst experience that ever happened to me. Reason why I'm the way I am. Abby! Get a hold of yourself! My breaths were coming faster, and… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6... I counted, and you know what? I just stopped my own panic attack from happening! I stomped my foot and banged my fist on the table. I was excited.

"Baker!" Whipple yelled my way. "We aren't cheering for a football game here!" He sneered sarcastically at me, then went back to reading his dumb playboy magazine. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was definitely not allowed.

I rolled my eyes and Shilo giggled. "What was that whole table slapping thing?" She asked curiously.

I mind as well start off with the truth, no matter how broken and retarded she may think I am. It's better than lying I suppose. I just stopped a panic attack from happening…

"A panic attack? But I just asked you about…" She stopped like she hit a brick wall. Art. Yeah. She put on a chipper mood. "Its big news for you huh? Ever done it before?"

Hah, it's my first time stopping a panic attack, and I'm proud of myself. :D :D :D Like you have no idea!

She smiled a wide smile, but she didn't talk because Whipple's loud voice sliced through the giant room. "Okay you awful kids. Its time for lunch, when you all get back I don't care, just do whatever as long as you stay in the room. And if Officer Daniels comes nosing around, pretend to be doing something productive, ok?"

They all chorused and I just nodded my head. God, he was an awful teacher, maybe that's why he don't teach actual classes? Who knows, I was probably on the ball somehow.

Bill latched to me from behind in a hug. "Ready Lovely?" He whispered in my ear, giving my whole body goosebumps. I nodded.

Ugh, here we go! I wondered how many people had our lunch? Boy was I nervous!

:3

What did you all think? Well this was just Shilo and Abby bonding sorta :D

LYRICS :D

- Cos dire times call for dire faces, so lovely dancer call a dancer, trade our places in the night, Were running barefoot you and I, Dead lovers salivate, Broken hearts tessellate tonight.

REVIEW and I'll give you a cyber cupcake? :D and I'll put your name in my authors note at the beginning :D