-How is summer going along for you all? My goal is to finish this story before August 15th :3

Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC

Shaker10 got the song. Tessellate- Tokyo Police Club

Alien

Chapter 9: He apologized?

I swear to all that was good Bill was the sweetest guy in the world. Walking out of the ISAP building he held open the door for me and let me wear his jacket since it started to pour down raining. I wanted to protest because I didn't want him to catch a cold, but his exact words were you mean more to me, so please take the jacket. I've never been so awed before, I'm not used to the feeling, but I hope it doesn't stop. I feel like I'm being greedy with the feeling of hope, but I couldn't help it. It felt so good!

Tom held Shilo's bag as we waited for her to come out of the bathroom, I guess the Kaulitz men were gentlemen. They were adorable. Students were giving me and Bill weird looks since he had his arm draped around my side, his hand casually resting on my hip. His thumb rubbing soft circles on my slightly exposed flesh. It tickled slightly, but more of in a good way. I loved how close we were, it made me feel wanted. It's something I thought I'd lost a long time ago.

The school halls were super dark downstairs and on the 3rd floor, but in the 2nd floor it was super bright. That didn't make any sense to me. Probably because the 2nd hallway was used more? Ah, there I go rambling on about school lighting. I swear you'll never know what you might find me thinking about up here, it got pretty weird most times. I scold myself internally for being so off topic.

I let the scent of Bill's jacket calm my nerves, which were raging out of control. I was being super nervous about going into the lunch room. Like how was I going to give my lunch number? As far as I was concerned it was the same as my old school; 2685. I could get Bill to say it for me, or I could just hold up my fingers? I was at a total loss since I didn't bring my dry erase board with me. Bill was going to have to be my voice for me.

"Don't look so scared lovely." Bill spoke gently to me. Tom's eyebrows rose at the use of the word 'lovely' but that was the least of my concern right now. I only latched on to Bill tighter as a huge group of football players trudged their scary selves towards the food. Bill laughed. "They wont mess with you. Promise." And his voice was so sincere, I could only believe him.

Will you give them my lunch number? Since I oh so smartly left my board in the ISAP room. I brushed my hair out of my face so I could see Bill more clearly.

"Yes I will, as long as you loosen your grip. I do breathe you know." He said in mock sarcasm. I pushed him gently, to let him know I was joking back.

Tom rolled his eyes, and had a smirk present. Like he found us amusing. "The line must me super long in the bathroom. She'd better hurry, I'm starving!"

Bill scoffed. "I'll bet you if you leave Shilo while she's in there she'd kick your wannabe gangster ass!" He teased.

"Why do you think I haven't left? Besides I don't mind waiting for her." Tom said sweetly, then changed his tone. "Please! I am straight up gangster!"

That made me do this horrible snorting sound, well it was supposed to be a laugh, but it caught in my throat. I coughed viciously, while laughing, it was sort of like I was choking. Bill was laughing right along with me. "You ok there Abby?" He sighed contently when his laughs died down.

If I was choking, you'd laugh? My eyebrows shot up in question. I was just playing around with him, because once my mom choked on gum balls, but I didn't know she was being serious, and I couldn't stop laughing.

There was pain on Bill's face, I guess he didn't know I was joking. "Nein! I mean, it wasn't funny, but then you were laughing, and gott Tom was funny." He pouted, crossing his arms sadly around my body. I sighed as I hugged him back, he was clingy wasn't he? And as you already know, I didn't mind.

I gave his side a little pinch, and he yelped in surprise. I'm just playing around silly! He looked relieved.

Shilo came out of the bathroom, snatching her bag quickly away from Tom. She seemed like she was pissed for some reason, I knew better than to question her moodiness. Everyone had their days, and today looked like it was hers. She gave me an apologetic smile and tugged Tom away after giving him a peck on the cheek.

Once they were out of earshot Bill whispered quietly to me. "Don't mind her, she's having really bad problems at home right now. She's in the process of moving in with us."

Wow, Shilo living next door? That would be super cool to get to see her more often. Awh, once she moves, everything will get better for her. You think so?

He gave my arm a gentle squeeze. "I hope so." He said sadly. "She used to be so happy, and now she's sometimes plain mean."

I like her though. I pouted.

Bill's eyes sparked, and something flashed in them. It made me feel so alive. He just nodded. "I like her too, and I'm glad Tom found her, they are so happy together!" He exclaimed. We stopped just short of the cafeteria doors. He released his arm from around my waist. "Just in case. I don't want those fan girls to get a hold of you." He smiled faintly.

I gave a confused look. We've walked holding hands the other day. And besides, I think I can handle fan girls. If I talked, I would have been sarcastic.

He took my hand in his. "If you really think so?"

I nodded. He gave a great smile before leading us through the giant doors to the giant room. And it was like one of those bad movies where it goes dead quiet. As soon as people caught sight of me and Bill holding hands whispers erupted. My cheeks blushed red heavily, I knew so because I could feel my face getting really hot. I caught a few of the whispers going to the lunch line, which was a pretty far distance from the doors.

"Oh my god!" "Awh, look at her blush, she's adorable!" "Oh ew! They aren't even cute together!" "But I wanted to date Bill! He's so sexy!" "Isn't she mute?" "I wonder where she's from?" "I'd bang her." "Oh, America?" "… gorgeous eyes." "I thought he was a faggot?" "Faggot isn't nice.. Gay more like it." "She's so tiny compared to him and he's fucking small!" "Anorexic?" "Just because they hold hands don't make it legit dumb ass!" "She's gorgeous, too bad she don't talk, I'd make her scream my name…" People were perves, so I just tried to block the rest of them out of my mind.

We met up with Tom and Shilo at the back of the line. "People are unbelievable! I should be able to hold hands with my best friend if I want, without these jerks saying dumb stuff about it." He huffed. I pulled my hand free and took it in both of mine. I rubbed soothing circles on his knuckles.

Don't let them get to you. I smiled, looking into his eyes. I've not talked for a long time, and the thing that I learned most is to block them out.

He brought our hands to his lips and gently kissed the back of my hand, never breaking eye contact with me. "I know lovely, but sometimes its just so hard. Most of the time I think I'm going to reach my boiling point. And that isn't good for my image."

Don't worry about your image, just be yourself, and if people cant accept that, then they weren't true fans. Plenty of people love you Bill.

He laughed. "It's so much simpler said than done I'm afraid."

"Yo Kaulitz!" A deep voice boomed from behind me. I turned to find a tall and slender looking guy. He was dressed in loose blue jeans, converse and a plain black tight shirt. His hair was long and shaggy black, reaching to about his shoulders.

"Oh jeez." Bill muttered before the guy stepped next to us.

"And who might this be?" He said in a mock sweet tone, looking down at me. This guy seemed to be like a royal ass. His personality was shot to hell and he only had his looks going for him.

"This is Abby." Bill said, short and sweet.

"Well, can't Abby answer for herself?" He said sarcastically. And if I could, I would honestly cuss him out right now. God he was a jerk.

"Clearly not, she doesn't talk you asshole." Bill was getting fed up with him. I would have to ask him about that later.

"Can't or won't?" He challenged. "Besides the point, I know you guys aren't dating. You're gay right?"

Bill fumed. "I'm not gay!"

"Why don't you fuck off Jake?" Shilo cut in then, and she didn't look like she was going to mess around. She looked deadly.

"Oh go screw Tom." He spat at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Why wont you leave my friends alone? Oh! Don't have any of your own to talk to?"

"You're a bitch." He stated simply.

"Whoa! Nice come back Jay!" She said sarcastically. "Now leave me and my friends the fuck alone."

"Whatever you say darling." He said sweetly before bounding away as quick as he came.

Who the fuck was that? I said up to Bill.

Shilo huffed and threw herself into Tom's happily waiting arms. "Ah, that's Jake, Shilo's brother."

What's his problem? I asked, as we slowly moved up a fraction of a step.

"I have no clue." He said sadly. "He just hates me I guess." Poor guy. He honestly didn't want people to hate him, he was going to have to realize that not everyone in this true blue world were nice. I learned that the hard way.

If it makes you feel better, if I talked, I would have cussed him out for you. I was seriously about to punch him in his face. He is awful!

Bill blushed. "Awh really? As menacing as that sounds, that's sweet of you lovely." He scooted me so I was in front of him, and ushered me into the lunch line doors. "But to make things better, Jake wasn't here yesterday, and we have most classes with him." He sighed sadly.

I turned around to Bill, letting my lower back hit into the counter. Don't let him get to you okay?

"Remember what I said. It's not as easy as it seems." He handed me a tray. "What's your lunch number?"

Twenty-six Eighty-five. I mouthed distractedly grabbing a slice of cheese pizza. I heard Bill laugh next to me.

"Try that again, but looking at me this time." I blushed but re-did it for him. "Glad to see you have an appetite though, you seriously are too skinny."

I rolled my eyes. I don't see how, I eat like a man sometimes. They didn't really have anything good, so I stuck with pizza and some French fries. I was going to eat a whole lot when I get home, then probably sleep. See? I told you I was a lazy person.

I waited out in the noisily bright cafeteria as Bill recited to the lunch lady my number. "He's only using you, you know that right? I bet you're his cover up." I turned to find Jake leaning casually next to me.

I gave him the dirtiest look I could muster and flipped him off with the hand I wasn't using to carry my food. This only made him smirk. "Ah, so you're a feisty one aren't you?" I just continued to stare up at him with a death glare. I may like Shilo, but I sure as hell cant stand her brother. "Wow, you really can't talk can you?" I gave him a duh look. Where the hell was Bill?

"Well if that's the case, I'm sorry for making fun of you." He said, he had so much sincerity in his voice I didn't know what to think about that.

Bill bounded out of the lunch line then with an irritated expression on his face, probably from those awful lunch ladies. They could be a handful at times. His expression caught on Jake's looming form next to my tiny one, and he glared. "Go the fuck away." Bill said slowly, lowly and angry. It was always weird to hear Bill cuss.

Jake put up his hands in surrender. "Just telling her something." He smirked, before joining the crowd in the line.

Bill wrapped his arm around my waist and guided us to an empty table off to the side of the room, where there wasn't that many people crowded. What Jake said made me wonder. Was Bill only using me as a cover up? I mean Shilo said she didn't think Bill was gay. And hopefully that's the truth. But it kept nagging at me, and I was just confused.

"What's troubling you? Did Jake say something to you that upset you?" I just gave a sad excuse of a shrug. All of a sudden I wasn't in the mood anymore. "What did he say lovely?" He tried, in a sad voice.

Are you using me? There. I said it, and now it's out in the open.

He sucked in a sharp breath. "He said that?" What was even scarier was that his voice held no emotion whatsoever.

I slightly nodded. I didn't want to start an argument here. No need to argue over something like that.

"Look at me." He gently caressed my cheek and brought my face to his, making me look up at him. "Listen to me when I say this. I will never ever use you okay? It makes me sick when people use each other to gain something."

I believe you. I said, placing my hand on the side of his face. We were a weird pair of best friends! I bet if people saw us right now, they'd think we were about to kiss. And I bet people were staring at us anyways.

"I'll never lie to you ok?" He smiled.

I'll never lie to you either, I honestly hate liars.

"Now eat your food. Lunch is about to be over, and food isn't permitted in the 2nd building. There was a bad mice problem earlier this year, it was pretty gross." He took a huge bite from his pizza. You'd think he'd be dainty, but you'd be wrong.

You expect me to eat now? You just told me a nasty story about mice! I laughed. I picked up a fry and popped it in my mouth. He laughed just then. I told you I could eat, no matter what. The food wasn't that bad, the fries were gross but it didn't stop me from eating them.

"Want my milk?" Bill asked. I glanced down at his carton, it looked almost empty. But secretly school chocolate milk was my favorite kind to drink. I nodded and took a hold of it, sipping happily.

Shilo and Tom came out of nowhere then and took a seat across from us at the circular table. "Ew you're drinking after Bill?" Shilo questioned.

"Oh shut it. Your brother has gotten me in one of those moods." Bill said, not taking crap from anyone. My heart swelled, I must me an exception, since he was just in a good mood when it was just us. I took pride in that.

Shilo just rolled her eyes and looked at me. "I saw you guys talking by the line exit. Looked like he upset you real good to, with the middle finger you threw him…"

Bill cut her off. "You gave Jake the middle finger?" He exclaimed. I nodded towards him, but kept my attention on Shilo. Bill sounded so proud.

She huffed, losing her patience with Bill. "I was just wondering what he said to you?" Bill nudged my leg, probably to keep the whole 'Bill's using you' thing out of what he said.

I reached out for her binder, she got the idea and handed me a piece of paper and a purple inked pen. He just apologized to me. I wrote.

She gasped. "Dead serious?" I nodded. "Hmm, that's so weird. I've never known him to apologize to anyone before." She sat there stunned for a second. "Apologize for what exactly?"

Making fun of me.

"Sounds like he's starting to have a conscious now." Tom stated rather confused. "Really weird, because I've known him for a long time, and he's a serious jerk face."

"Just stay away from him ok? I usually don't boss my friends around, but its for your own good ok?" Shilo said, I cant believe she was going to care about me like that. It was so sweet of her.

I nodded and laid my head on Bill's shoulder then huddled deeper into his jacket. I was all of a sudden cold. My body got like that sometimes, it could be super hot outside and I'd be freezing the worst. He wrapped his arm around me; comforting. I tried not to think about it, because honestly what was I doing? I was cuddling, holding hands, and having moments with a guy who I wasn't even dating. My head was a mess. What did this even mean?

Is it bad I didn't even want to think about it because I was so content with just this? Our friendship with all the touching and holding. It was pretty great, it felt good to feel wanted. I'm going to stop rambling, because I'm confusing even myself.

XxX

Me and Bill were hanging out in his room before dinner again. My dad must really like Simone if he keeps busying himself over here so often. Bill thinks he likes her too, and thinks its gross because old people aren't supposed to be doing young people stuff. Don't you just love his explanations?

In my opinion, my dad just should quit dating all together. I couldn't handle all the women he's been through, it hurts to think about, because I'll only know my mom as a real mother. He seems to act different around Simone though, and if he really does like her, he'd better clean up his act. I actually enjoyed Simone, so that was good.

"We still need to talk lovely." Bill whispered into my ear. I was laying on my stomach on his bed, he was on his back next to me. I raised onto my elbows and gave him a questioning look. "You cut right?" My eyes unfocused a bit from the forwardness of the question.

Sometimes. I stated sadly. All of a sudden I felt really small and vulnerable. I was scared of what he was going to think about me. Would he judge me harshly?

"Why do you do it?" He said sadly, looking at the ceiling, then adjusting his eyes on me, so he can see what I have to say.

It's stupid, but I've no other way to cope, it seems.

"Coping from what?" He said innocently.

The reason why I don't talk. And before you say anything, I honestly think it's impossible to talk about for me… I'm so weak. My voice would have wobbled if I could talk. He didn't press the cutting either, I liked that.

"You aren't weak. You're just scared of what people will think of you right?"

I don't know… All I know is, it's tough to talk about. Like if I mention it, I'll re-live it. And I really don't want to Billa.

He gave a sad smile at the nickname I gave him. "Was it really that bad?" He asked, in a small voice, I almost didn't hear it. Almost like he didn't want to hear my answer. And I didn't blame him.

I gave him a worried glance. It was horrible. It left me in a coma for over a year. Tears threatened to fall, but I held them back.

He leaned up on his elbows. "Will you tell me when you're ready? I'll be here for you every step of the way." His brown eyes sparkled as he kissed the tip of my nose, almost like he was scared to kiss my lips. I would like that.

I wont be ready for a long time though. If I can help it, I'd rather not talk about it at all.

He rubbed soothing circles on my cheeks. Moving his thumbs over the bottom of my lip, I felt them part with his pressure on them. "I wont pressure you lovely. But someday I wish to hear your beautiful voice."

I honestly hope that one day I'll be able to grant that wish…

:3

Ah, I hope it isn't too boring?

Like?

LYRICS :D

- I don't believe in fairytales, too cynical. Everybody stop and stare, I let it go.

[their short lyrics DX]

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