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Alien

Chapter 11: Breaking Inside

Bill was a little oblivious as to why I was crying, and Jake looked freaked out. You'd think he would be taking pride because I was crying, but he looked like he felt so bad. Shilo looked like she wanted to give me another hug, and Tom kept staring at my shirt clad belly. Things were awkwardly quiet, it was bad. My head was feeling like it was going to explode with all the tension. Jake so happened to speak up first.

"Abby, look I'm sorry…" Before he could say anything Georg cut him off with a fierce look and a sharp pissed voice.

"Look here god damnit! You'd better shut your smart ass up before I give you a matching welt on the other side of your face." I almost smiled through my tears, I cant believe Georg was standing up for me.

"What's going on?" Bill whispered dumbfounded to me. Poor guy, he was really confused right now.

I shook my head and shrugged out of his grasp. I sat alone at the end of the giant couch, bringing my legs to my chest and resting my head on them. I think I was going into complete shutdown mode, and I didn't want to ruin everyone else's day. Well I mean I guess I already did by punching Jake, but that's besides the point. I just didn't want to have to talk about it right now. It was too soon.

Jake tried to apologize again, but Georg kept cutting him off. "Dude! Just drop it, maybe she just don't want to talk about it, ever think of that?"

I really was grateful for Georg, but I didn't think I could properly show him thanks right now. Would he find me rude? Tears flowed over and I tucked my head in between my legs and my arms over my head. If anything, I didn't want people to hate me. I didn't want my friends to hate me. I would be so utterly lost without them! I know I sound dependent on them, but wouldn't you be if you were in my situation? I mean people didn't really show interest in me off the bat.

I knew it was Bill the moment an arm draped around my back and pulled me to him. I just knew. I didn't want people to be staring at me, and I knew they were. Maybe Jake was right? What if all I was, was a mental case. What were these people doing being my friends anyways? Did they just feel sorry for me or what? I needed to calm down. If they didn't like me for me they wouldn't be here, hell I wouldn't be here, this is their house after all.

I put my feet firmly on the ground and leaned back into Bill wiping my face off with the back of my hands. I just sat there for a minute, waiting for someone to break the awkward silence. Since I couldn't do it myself and all. Bill was rubbing a comforting hand up and down my side, just comforting me. I loved that about him, he always knew when I was upset, and he didn't have to talk. He was just so sweet.

My tired puffy eyes caught on Georg who was staring at my face with a worried look, when we made eye contact I gave him a pleading look. He was confused as to what I wanted him to do. I clearly wanted him to work his funny business and start up a conversation or something. Maybe even change the atmosphere in the room. I would seriously enjoy that. Hell we all would.

I gave him another pleading look and I think he finally caught on. He stood up and pretended to stretch. "Ahh, how about we toss in this DVD?" That was a good ice breaker, because then Shilo and Tom started bustling around the place.

"I'll order the pizza!" Tom tossed out, placing a kiss on Shilo's lips. I swear I've never seen two people in so much love before. Someday I wish to find my one and only. "Any special requests before I make the call?"

Shilo put her two cents in. "I'm dying for a pepperoni pizza! I haven't had pizza in forever! Tell them to put extra everything on it, and if you can make it have a cheese filled crust?"

"Anything for you Angel." He kissed her once more before bounding up from the couch and digging through his ginormous pockets for his cell phone. "Yo Georg you still liking the meat lovers pizza?"

"Hell yeah!" Georg bit back with enthusiasm. Then he scowled. "Will I have to share it with Jake?"

Jake held out his arms in a friendly manner. "Whatever bro, cant we order like two meat lovers pizzas if its going to bug you that bad?" He tossed out. Then he gave a visible wince as he had an itch on his face. I smiled. I did that to him.

Georg gave a short laugh. "I don't mind all that, it's just that I can seriously put away a whole pizza."

Tom rolled his eyes. "Okay so I have two meat lovers, a pepperoni and three cheese pizza's. Any other requests?" Boy would I love to have some of the jalapeño cheesy break, that stuff was greasy and just plain good. And I would have kissed him right then! Bill spoke like he heard my thoughts.

"You should definitely get that new cheese bread, its to die for. I don't remember the name for it though…"

It's the jalapeño cheese bread. I mouthed to Bill, still a bit too self conscious to face the room.

He repeated what I mouthed to Tom. He left the room with Shilo and Jake in tow, they were both doing that annoying sibling bickering. I really do miss Andy, he was my twin and best friend. Maybe that's why Bill could read me so well, because he is a twin like I was? That would make a ton of sense. But Tom is totally clueless about me, maybe he chooses to be oblivious sometimes? Who knows.

Georg got up and plopped down on the other side of me. "I'm starving how about you? I know you guys swam for a while, and that always makes me starving."

I nodded. I haven't eaten anything all day, so I know how you feel. I gave a sad smile, I wasn't up for anything, but I had to put on a fake mask and get through. I had to over come this.

"Awh, don't be sad ok? Jake is an asshole and he gets to everyone, and if it makes you feel better you totally decked him. Even though I wasn't there to see it happen, I know you're a tough little kitten."

I rolled my eyes, sniffling a bit. Bill pulled me in tighter and I took hold of his hand and gave it a good comforting squeeze. Kitten?

He gave his signature laugh. "Yeah, you definitely would look like an angry kitten if you got mad. Just because you're so tiny and cute to begin with."

I sighed. What, is my new nickname Kitten or something? All these different nicknames for me was getting pretty bizarre, it was making me feel closer to them than I ever thought possible. Even though Kitten sort of sounded like a stripper name.

"Now that you say something, sure. Your new nickname from me is Kitten. You cool with that?" Before I could get the chance to reply he talked again. "Too bad, because I dub you Kitten."

You're such a dork Georg.

Bill spoke up then. "I'm beginning to feel a little left out!" He pouted.

I took his arm and put it around my shoulders, I felt nice and warm automatically. He made me feel safe. You poor baby. I said, leaning my head under his chin to get a good look at his face. His eyes were sparkling, he was having fun.

Georg's eyes landed on our entwined hands but he never said anything about it. I guess he knew we weren't dating, since Bill was sure enough to tell him, they were friends after all. "Guess what Prinzessin?" He directed towards Bill. I snorted at his choice of words when talking to his friend.

Bill looked ticked. "Don't call me that!"

"You really should learn to take a joke." I laughed, remembering my first time meeting Georg, Bill definitely couldn't take a joke. "Anyways! I might be transferring to your school soon, doesn't that sound super fun?" By the sound of his voice, he couldn't wait.

Bill nodded enthusiastically. "How soon? We are going to destroy the school!"

"Maybe Montag if I'm lucky!" He stopped to scratch his ear. Wow, I don't think I've ever seen that done before. "And were all lucky paparazzi aren't allowed at the school. We'd be totally screwed!" I'm guessing they are trouble makers when together.

"Most definitely!"

Jake came into the room at a silent pace, and I really did feel sorry for him. I could relate about people hating him, it hurt, no matter how much he tried to cover it up with anger. Sadly I saw through him, and it made me want to connect, despite what everyone was saying about him. I felt like I was being drawn to him? I quickly averted my eyes from his face as he looked over at me and gave me one of those annoying little smirks.

"What's going on with Gustav?" Tom asked, coming in the room with Shilo. "Oh, and the pizza should be here in about twenty." I rolled my eyes, I didn't want to wait.

Georg answered, I guess him and Gus were closer. "He's having a fun time hiking in Australia with his grandad, he's sent me a ton of pictures. They've gotten a goat and everything!" I laughed, wow a goat? My Aunt's old boss owned a goat named Missy. Georg turned to look at me. "You'd love Gus, he's like a giant teddy bear! Too bad he isn't here to meet you! You'd both get alone since your both so quiet."

I just shrugged. Maybe when he gets back.

"What movie do you all want to watch? I've got scary, funny, horror…" Shilo started.

"Scary and horror are the same thing." Jake laughed back. He seemed like he was attempting to be a good person, and not so rotten.

She cracked a smile and shook her head a bit. "I totally knew that. Anyways, I think I only have horror or comedy."

"Comedy!" Georg bellowed from beside's me.

"Horror!" Bill yelled back. Yeah this is definitely not a moment we shared, because I really wanted something to make me laugh. I didn't need to be anymore down than necessary right now. But I of course wasn't going to voice my opinion, it was whatever made them happy.

And that's when everyone decided on a horror movie, even Georg changed his mind. When they asked me I simply shrugged, I mean everyone wanted horror so what did it matter? We decided to wait for the pizza to get here and eat first, before we watched the movie. It was called Classroom. I've never heard of it, but apparently to Jake it was one of the scariest movies ever made.

Everyone was talking happily amongst themselves, and it was easy to say I was really feeling left out. I mean I could hop in at any moment, but I decided against it. I just don't know. I was still feeling off about what happened earlier with my scars baring free to everyone. At least they dropped it and went on with their lives. I was grateful for that, but on the other hand I expected them to pry it out of me.

"Pizza's here!" Georg yelled from beside me, hopping up. "Dude, hand me a fifty!" He whisper yelled to Tom. I rolled my eyes, they made talking about large sums of money so casual.

"But I want to get the pizza!" Tom whined. They argued about it for a while, and the knocks were just getting more hushed. They were just still standing there.

I sighed and threw myself into the standing position. I carried myself stealthily over to the door, and opened it really quick. Bill was laughing from his seat on the couch, and Georg had his mouth hanging open at me. Tom and him both rushed over quickly and I stepped out of the way, going back to Bill, curling into his side. He was so warm.

"Lovely, you are hilarious!" He laughed in my direction, his breath smelled like something sweet, but I guess it was just him.

Well they wouldn't open the door, and I'm really hungry. I stated simply. I think I summed up how everyone was feeling right now. Maybe a little tense and starving.

"Here you go Kitten and Prinzessin." Georg said, sitting down the very big box of pizza in both of our laps. My mouth instantly started to water, and I think Bill's did too because he didn't protest of Georg calling him a Princess.

Bill greedily flipped open the box and took out a huge slice of cheese pizza and bit into it. I wasn't far behind. It was so gooey and cheesy and I don't think I've ever tasted something so good. I think German's had the best everything! My old friend back home was from Germany and she was always making the most delicious stuff ever. Once she brought Kaba in, well it wasn't too good, it reminded me of Pepto-Bismol. But that's besides the point.

"Hey Bill!" Tom said from across the room. He had something cupped in his hand. Bill looked up in mid bite. "Want some ham?" He said in a teasing tone.

I of course busted out laughing along with Tom. "What is up with you both laughing at ham anyways?" He asked, sounding irritated.

"Oh nothing." Tom said slyly.

Bill ignored it and continued eating. While my laughter stayed in the atmosphere.

XxX

We were all laying on the floor, a good distance away from the TV since the room was just so damn giant. We all laid on blankets except for Jake who was behind us on the couch, he should be falling asleep soon. Since that's where he's going to sleep tonight. I was a bit shifty on this movie. It was about a teacher who gets obsessed over his student and stops at nothing to have her. Story. Of. My. Life. I don't know if I could watch it, but I was going to stick it out for the guys.

I was laying between Shilo and Bill, Tom on Shilo's side and Georg on Bill's. This night was going to be really interesting. My and Bill's hands were intwined in front of us as we were propped up on our elbows, facing their giant flat screen TV. The movie started and it was fine at first.

The main character's name was Lara and her teacher would abuse her after school hours. The sick bastard freaking tortured her, made her ugly and scarred because he didn't want anyone else to look at her. He wanted her to be his and his only. He saw her after school one day with a guy and became pissed, and that's when hell started…

I couldn't stand to watch it anymore! It was too similar… to me. The tears started to pool over, I was trying to be quiet but I couldn't do it. It hurt too much. I didn't want to remember, and now everything was flooding back into my memory. Art. Kiln. Bryan. Evil. Smiles. Fun. Sad. Torture. My mind was swimming with the sad past of my sad life. I had to go somewhere, I had to do something before this became a full out panic attack. No one needs to see me like that again.

I hurriedly took my hand out of Bill's and kicked off the cover. I ran up the stairs and slammed the bathroom door shut. I needed to calm down, I was being weak. I hated that feeling. I ran my hands nervously through my hair, tugging and pulling on it roughly. As long as I felt some physical pain I knew I was being sane. I chanced a glance at my reflection and sighed.

I was sunburned beyond belief and my eyes were bloodshot from all the crying I was recently doing, and probably from my lack of sleep. I know I was in dire need of it. I ran the cold water and splashed it on my overheated face. I was calming down efficiently and now all I needed to do was forget. That I knew was never going to happen, but I could still try. Trying and hope kept me going, and one day I hoped I would get completely better. No fear, no sorrow, just happiness.

There was a small knock at the door, and I internally freaked out as the door opened. Bill stepped through and I gave a sigh of relief. All he had to do was come towards me with his arms held open, it made my tears fall free once again as we embraced. It felt so good to be hugged, it made me feel so much better. Except it made my tears fall even worse now, I don't know why, but when I'm sad and get a hug it makes me cry worse?

He shushed me and told me everything was going to be okay. If he only knew they wasn't. My head mentally was not okay. And I don't know if I'll ever be one hundred percent okay ever again.

"Are you going to be okay Abby?" He asked, kissing my forehead and wiping away my hears with his thumbs.

I shrugged. Honestly I don't think I'll ever be able to be okay Billa.

I felt him shiver at my unsaid words. "I want you to talk to me Abby, I don't want you to keep everything bottled up inside you. It's really not good for your health. I care so much about you, and I don't want you to be hurting ok?"

I nodded, I knew he was right. Which is why I've decided that I'm going to tell him about a little part of my past… Whether he liked it or not, because I really did need to get some of this stress and built up tension out of my body, or else I might result to beating up Jake every chance I get.

"We should go to my room, you need to lay down Abby. And I'll stay there with you." He said sweetly, taking hold of my hand and leading us to his room. I cant believe I was about to do this…

I've never opened up to anyone before, even if it wasn't the whole story. I guess there's a first to everything. I gave a shudder as he closed his door behind us, and I had a feeling my secrets were going to stay behind closed doors too. This is the moment. The moment I decide whether or not I can fully trust Bill.

I knew I could…

:3

Man if that wasn't a cliffy I don't know what is :] Well lets just say what she tells Bill in the next chapter is only a part of why the way she is. There is a whole bunch of crap to come, so don't say I'm rushing :] I'm only going to bring Bill and Abby closer together :3 And I love my reviewers, you guys make my day :D LYRICS :D

-I caught a chill and it's still frozen on my skin, I think about why I'm alone by myself no one else to explain, How far do I go no one knows, If the end is so much better why don't we just live forever? Don't tell me I'm the last one in line, Don't tell me I'm too late this time! I don't wanna live to waste another day, Underneath the shadow of mistakes I've made. :3

REVIEW! :D