Chapter three is up! Next is bad parenting, and drug abuse! cookies to all who read! I'll probably update on the weekends! Enjoy a chapter of randomness!

Thank You to Iceflower and ShadowEspon! Especially Iceflower! I don't really like Raoul... If you have any ideas for Raoul tortures I will soo put them in! BBWWAHAHAHHAHA!

Disclaimer: I dont own Les Mis, Phantom, Micheal Jackson, Pitbull, Party Rock Anthem, or any Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals.

Chapter three: In which I move in...temporarily...and discuss obsessions

ANGEL, I HEAR YOU SPEAK, I LISTEN! STAY BY MY SIDE, GUIDE ME-

Erik: Christine?

(I walk in with my phone and computer)

Erik: Oh, it's just you.

Me: (sarcastically) Nice to see you too.

Erik: What are you doing here? Therapy is in like 12 hours. (drinks some water)

Me: I'm moving in with you!

Erik: (Spit-take) WTF!

Me: I have nowhere else to go! Dad got in trouble with some people Soo... Now I'm hanging with you!

Erik:...

Me: Also if you don't let me stay I can evict you.

Erik:...

Fine. Where's all your stuff?

Me: This is all I have... Do you have any clothes?

Erik: I'm a guy...

Me: Well I figured that since you had been with Christine you would have some of her stuff, so...

Erik: Im not that preverted!

Me: Sure...I'm going to go take a shower, now!

Erik: Get out of my house.

Me: Nope! (Skips away)

Me: GIVE ME EVERYTHING TONIGHT, FOR ALL WE KNOW, WE MIGHT NOT GET TOMORROW-

Erik: (curled up in a ball) Make it stop, please make it stop!

Me: PARTY ROCK IS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT, EVERYBODY JUST HAVE A GOOD, GOOD GOOD TIME! OOOOHHHHHH-

Erik: Look, if your going to sing, sing something decent!

(Silence)

Erik: Perfect.

Me: CAUSE THIS IS THRILLER, THRILLER NIIIIGGGHHHHHTTTTT-

Erik: (convulses on the floor)

Me: I'm done.

Erik: Thank the Lord. (hands me a dress) this is all I have.

Me: (pause) There is no way I'm wearing that!

Erik:...Why not?

Me: Cause its a dress! With a corset!

Erik: Yeah...so?

Me: Get in the 21st century man! Corsets aren't a thing anymore!

Erik: Do you have anything better?

Me: (grumbles angrily) Fine. I'll wear the stupid Amita dress.

Fantine: What happened to you?

Me: (barely audible) The corset... Erik di-did it...too tight...ca-can't b-b-b-bre-breathe!

Eponine: I never had to wear one of those...

Erik, Javert and Hyde: Hey! She finally looks like a girl.

Me: (Double death glare) I-I will e-ele-electrocute all o-o-of y-you!

Enjolras, and Granatire: That is so true!

Me: W-wh-what-whaterv-whatever! Le-lets ju-st cont-tin-continue with the l-l-less-lesson! Omygoshican'tbreathithinkimgonnapassout! FANTINE, HELP ME! (passes out)

Fantine: (Loosens my corset) Isn't this the same dress from the Past the Point of No Return scene?

Me: (Impression of Elizabeth Swan not drowning in POTC 1) Yup.

Raoul: Don't loosen it! She's better silent!

Erik: For once I agree with the fop.

Me: (cough, cough) I swear, I'm gonna kill you both.

Everyone:...

Hyde: Why are we here now?

Me: (straightens) You all are unhealthily obsessed with something.

Everyone: NO! WE'RE NOT!

Me: Granatire is obsessed with beer...

Granatire: Am not! (Takes a big swig, and passes it to me)

Erik and Fantine: Noo! (grab it away, before I can taste some)

Me: WHAT! WHY NOT!

Fantine: You're under-aged...

Erik: You may have as many problems as me...and that's saying something..

Me: Anyways...Enjolras is obsessed with his cause...

Enjolras: Wow. The first degree you got on the wall was that one?

Me: I don't have any degrees, so... But my mom was a therapist, and I believe I have enough experience, with this sort of thing...

Fantine: Trust me, you don't.

Me: Who's side are you on?

Fantine:...

Me: Hyde is obsessed with Lucy, Erik is obsessed with Christine, and Eponine is obsessed with Marius...

Hyde, Eponine and Erik: Where are they?

Me: There's my point...Where's Raoul?

Rauol: (Asleep)

Me: (sneaks up behind him with rusty scissors, and a razor)

Fantine: No!

Me: Heck yeah! (Shaves off his moustache, and the center of his head, making him look like a monk)

Erik: (hugs me) Thank you!

Me: Your welcome. But you're still disturbingly obsessed with Christine.

Erik: You have no prof of that.

Me: (storms into his room.)

Hyde: Where did she go?

Me: (Goes into my room)

Fantine: I'm obsessed with being a good mother! Nothing wrong with that!

Hyde: Yes there is. Since you died on your kid, and became a whore.

Fantine: I had no choice!

Hyde and Fantine: (Scream fight)

Me: (Carrying two heavy cardboard boxes) SHUT THE BEEP UP!

(Silence)

Erik: Where did you get those?

Me: Found them...lying around.

Fantine: What's in the box?

Erik: Nothing. Just give it! (lunges for me)

Me: NO! (boxes spill open to reveal numerous Christine dolls, and many more maimed, shot, half-burned, wet, drowned, and hung Raoul dolls)

Hyde, and Fantine:...And I thought I had serious issues...

Raoul: I feel lighter.

Hyde: No beep, Sherlock.

Raoul: Did you burn me?

Erik: Many times, actually. (Turns to me) See?Closure.

Raoul: (Feels head) WHAT DID YOU PEOPLE DO TO MIRANDA!

Me, and Erik: BBWAAHAHAHAHHHAHAHA!

End of Chapter Three! Please R&R!