Chapter Four! Yahhh! Two chappies in a day! Introducing Gustave in this chapter, and Next chapter's at the barricades OF FREEDOM! PS My "Me" is my OC who is currently nameless... Iceflower, I grant you a roomful of cookies for reviewing each chapter...You make me happier! TrustGavroche, You rock, as well!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Musicals in the title, or Crazy Train, and I actually love Christine's character in real life.

Enjoy!

Chapter Four: On Bad Parenting:

(Still in the Phantom's Cella- I mean Lair. Phantom's Lair)

Jean Valjean: Ohh...The Judge was serious about this?

Christine: It appears so...But she can't be that bad...

(I come in with ear-buds in, air-guitar-ing...if that's a word, in another one of Christine's dresses.)

Me: GOING OFF THE RAIILLSS OF A CRAZY TRAI-

The Thenardiers: She is that bad. Even for us.

Me: (whipping my hair back and forth) I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH, I WHIP M-

Christine: (Says something I can't hear)

Me: WHAT?

Christine: (Says more stuff I can't hear)

Me: WHAT?

Christine: (yanks out ear-buds) Is that my dress?

Me: (still dancing in place) Yup, Christi.

Christine: Where did you get it?

Me: (dancing) Your closet.

Christine: I know that. But how did you get it?

Me: I stole it while you were sleeping last night.

Christine: WHAT!

Erik: (walks in with another toothbrush in his mouth)

Me: Can't you brush your teeth in the bathroom.

Erik: What the heck is she doing here?

Me: I invited her.

Christine: You threw me in a burlap sack with the Les Mis people!

Me: Tomato, tomato

Gavroche, Eponine, Azelma and Cosette: What are we doing here?

Gavroche, Eponine, Azelma: We're not parents.

Cosette: Well...

Jean: WHAT! YOU'RE PREGNANT AND YOU DIDN'T TELL M-

Me: Can it, grandpa, and let's get to the lesson! The point is ALL OF YOU ARE BAD PARENTS.

Every true adult: No, we're not!

Erik: I'm not a parent.

Christine:...

(Doorbell rings)

Me: I'll get it.

(Dashes off)

Christine: Does she always dash off like that?

Erik: Yup.

Mme. Thenardier: She's worse than Eponine.

Eponine: You've said much worse to me, Mom.

(I open the door. Gustave is standing there looking spacy)

Me: (looking up at him, since he's like a head taller) You must be Gustave. You're late.

Gustave:...

Me: Hello?

Gustave: W-what?

Me: (waving a hand in front of his face) Are you always this spaced-out?

Gustave: N-no

Me: Well come on then. (drags him inside)

Raoul: Gustave! What are you doing here?

Gustave: She told me to come, yesterday.

Christine: You broke into our 13 yr olds room?!

Me: Correction: Erik and I broke into your house. I was his accomplice. Get your facts straight!

Gustave: I'm 14, actually.

Me: Me too!

Erik: It was her idea!

Raoul: Will you ever stop torturing me?

Me: Is the ocean red?

Raoul: (Pulls off cap he's wearing) LOOK AT WHAT SHE DID TO ME!

Gustave: That was you?

Me: Yes...

(We hi-five)

Mr. Thenardier: What does any of this have to do with the lesson?

Me: Since when did you care?

Eponine: Its almost time for them to go rip off the rest of France.

Everyone: Ohh...

Me: Right...So what do you think is the definition of good parenting, Madame Thenardier?

Mrs. Thenardier: Good parenting means your children come out alive in the end...

Gavroche: That ain' true yo!

Erik: I'm still not a father...(stares at Christine) right?

Raoul: Right?

Me: (Glaring) Spit it out, Blondie.

Fantine: Her hair is brown.

Me: Webber 2011 version!

Christine: Well...

All Les Mis children: LA,LA,LA,LA,LA WE CANT HEAR YOU! (Run back to the barricade)

Jean Valjean: That was melodramatic...

Me: Gustave meet your dad, Erik.

Raoul and Erik: WHAT!

Erik: How did you know that?

Me: You got high, a couple nights ago, and started bragging about your life achievements.

Gustave: So you're living with him?

Me: Temporarily.

Everyone:...

Me: Ew, no, not like that! I'm a free spirit!

Raoul: You had his kid!?

Christine: (rolls her eyes) Please don't tell me you just noticed that now.

Raoul: Gustave is too nice-looking to be his son!

Erik: (pulls out Punjab lasso)

Me: No! Bad parenting! Bad!

Christine: You take morphine? I thought you'd stopped!

Erik: I needed more closure. And it's medical.

Me: You need some new copping methods, man. Gustave looks up to you now.

Gustave: Actually we see eye to eye.

Me: See, begin a parent doesn't mean you push your kids aside, Thenardiers. But it doesn't mean that you give them everything, Valjean. So if you ca-

(Phone rings, Phantom of the Opera Overture plays)

Me: Whops...That's my phone...and its Enjolras... Oh jeez...

Erik: Why does that matte-

Me: Shh!

Me: Hello? (pulls phone away from ear, and frowns. Shouts and explosions can be heard.) Enjy, calm down. CALM DOWN, MAN! So help me I will slap you (Phone gets pulled away from ear, again) Okay, slower, slower. What do you mean its my fault? I'm not the one with the chemicals.(More screams and shouts) Ahah, Aaha, oh really? (glares at Erik) I had no idea... Where's the' barricade? Okay, okay I'll be over there in a minute. Bye!

Erik: That sounded fun.

Me: Class is over. (Points to Erik) You. Car. Now!

Erik: I don't go outside.

Me: Well you do now! Havoc is in the barricade all because of you and your stupid chemical!

Erik: That's Hyde's fault

Gustave: Dude, I gotta see this!

Christine: No! I forbid it!

Erik: C'mon Christine, don't you trust me?

Christine: I don't trust any of you. (To me) Especially you. Gustave (turns his head away from my direction) pay attention.

Erik: *snickers*

Me: What?

Raoul: Rafiya and Gustave sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-

(electrocutes him for the umpteenth time)

Me: (flips tazer in my hand) Man, I love doing that.

Christine: If he comes back with as much as scratch, I will skin all of you, and hang you on my wall.

Me: Okayokay,Christine,nothingsgoingtohappentoanyone.. .BYE!

Gustave: To the barricades of FREEDOM!

(We dash away)

Valjean: What. Just. Happened?

Onto the barricade we go! Please R&R!