Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva

-Shaker 10 and malec 4 eva got the song :3 Cinema Bizarre ft. Space Cowboy- I came to party :D

Alien

Chapter 17: Thunder Rolls

I loved being able to float peacefully in my dreams. Even though I know I wont remember anything when I eventually wake up. I'd rather not remember the happiness that was displayed in my dreams. They always made me feel depressed afterward, which is the only reason I knew they were happy in the first place. Floating is the only way I can really describe what I feel now. The only think I see is nothingness, and it's the least I can ask for.

No pain, no hope, no wishing, maybe everything was normal here? I never dared to go further in my dreams to figure it out. It scared me too much. Right now, I was knocked out, and enjoying every second of it. I don't think I've ever slept this heavy before, well besides the time I woke from the coma. I was pretty tired afterwards. But this right here, was pure exhaustion. I'm finally glad I got to sleep.

I didn't know where I was though, all I knew was I was with my friends. Man it still felt weird saying I had friends. And it felt pretty good too. Friends. And Bill was beginning to grow in my heart as more than a friend. Actually I'm pretty sure I was in love with that boy. Too soon to know? Who knows. But all I do know is that we have one hell of a connection, and I'm not going to ruin it. Try not to anyways. I always end up doing something in the end.

Once I found my way out of the blackness of sleep my eyes popped open fast. Sometimes I still didn't like to not know my surroundings, like now for instance. I opened my eyes to a black room, dimly lit with the light of the bathroom shining through the cracked door. I remember jerking really hard, and if someone wasn't laying directly next to me I would have taken a nice fall out of the bed, tumbling to the ground. Whoever I almost mauled didn't feel like Bill.

I was a bit creeped out now. Lightning lit up the room for a second and my heart beat slowed. Only Georg. Turning on my other side I found a very ungraceful Bill. He wasn't lying when he said he was one of the worst sleepers out there. It still made my heart swell, because he was always adorable in my eyes. Ah, so I was stuck in between two famous rockstars? I'm highly okay with that. I smirked to myself.

I wonder how big this room is anyways? My eyes had grown accustomed to the darkness by now, and I saw that there were three people in the bed next to us too. Shilo, Jake and Tom I presume. I rolled my eyes. Blonde moment! The guys must have walked to a hotel to stay at for the night, ah, explains so much. I wonder when I fell asleep on the journey here? Because the last thing I honestly remember was hoping on Bill's back for a piggyback ride. I hope he caught me if I fell!

I'm the idiot, obviously I'm here and well right? I slid down from the bed and onto the floor, I had to go to the bathroom. Why the hell was I wet anyways? I made it in and looked at my reflection. My eyes bulged! I looked like I was a drowned cat. Well it was raining outside, we couldn't have been here that long could we have? I feel so refreshed. I checked my phone. Only a few hours? Nice.

Thunder shook the hotel room, and I shuddered to myself. I hated storms, they always shook me up, no matter what. I blinked furiously as I realized I was standing in a black room. What the fuck. No way in hell. God damn. The power cant go off right now! This is impossible! I didn't want to feel like a baby in front of my friends, I was absolutely terrified right now. I felt around for the doorknob, I was going to have to feel my way to the bed. I just hope I made it to the right one.

My heart was thumping, I was in a dark room. I felt myself wanting to hyperventilate, but I pushed the thoughts away and kept my mind clear. I couldn't do this now. I took slow steps straight forward, because the bed was almost directly across from the bathroom. Slowly but surly I felt the hardwood floor turn into carpet. The beds were on carpet. I sighed in relief when my legs hit the board of the bed. I even felt around and only felt two people in it.

I slowly and quietly climbed in the middle, I didn't want to upset or wake anyone. Well the one person I wanted up, I was going to awake. Like it or not. I wish the curtains were open, at least some light would gleam in. More lightning even. I whimpered from my position on the bed. I carefully climbed on top of Bill, not caring; I just had to be close to him. As I settled myself on a laying position on him, head on his chest, legs spread out around his. God, I felt like an oversized cat.

He only snored louder, somehow making Georg give a giant snore too. I rolled my eyes. Guys were ridiculous with their ways.

Too much thunder and lightning was taking over the room, which means the storm was directly on us. I was shaking and crying, I didn't know what else to do. I gave Bill a giant shove, and then more heavy shakes. He mumbled in his sleep, then tried to push me off of him. When he felt me clinging on to him he stopped, probably realizing it was me. "Why's it so dark?" He mumbled. Obviously half asleep. I shoved him again for good measure. "Ugh, Abby? What's going on?" He said again louder.

I shushed him loudly.

I could only imagine his expression right now. That's probably the closest to talking he's ever heard. "What's wrong?" He said again, more firm now. He was definitely in his concerned mode; fully awake.

Thunder shook the room again and I snuggled closer. I was too scared, and I had to say so. I wasn't going to freak out on his part and leave him in the dark without nothing; literally. "I'm scared." I whispered as lowly as I could, barley audible. Even to my own ears.

He sucked in a breath, shocked most likely. "It's only a storm." He said gently. "Here get next to me, I'll hold you and wont let nothing bad happen you." He said with a yawn coming off of his beautiful voice. Even when he was tired. I slid off of his long and lean body, noting the happiness I felt as my leg brushed across his crotch. Guys.

I tucked myself tightly next to him, I don't think we could have gotten closer if I tried. This was perfect as he wrapped his arms around my tiny and scared body. I trusted him that nothing was going to happen, he gave me a sense of calm. I felt him smile in my hair. "I'll never let anything happen to you lovely, you can always count on me. I promise."

And I believed him. I nodded against his chest, feeling my head knock against his chin, making his teeth clink together. I sucked in a quick breath, did I hurt him? "It's fine lovely. Don't worry about me." He assured me, patting my back and smoothing away all the stress I've built up from being scared. I sighed contently as Bill quietly hummed to me. It wasn't enough for me to fall asleep, but soon enough I heard his snores again.

I tried to free myself from his murderous grasp, but we all know how that plays out. Not well apparently. Instead I willed my eyes to shut. I was going to get a good nights rest, or whatever. I had to sleep, because I knew the journey to get Georg's damn car fixed awaited us in the morning, and I doubt anyone wants to wait around for that, it seems so boring. Car stuff. Pssh.

XxX

What made me realize my sleep was over was when sunlight was piercing my eyes. And well you know… someone was shaking the crap out of me. It wasn't getting any more pleasant so I saved myself the dizziness and just opened my eyes. I scowled as I saw Bill standing there with his giant ass smile, and his fucking peppy attitude. What time is it anyways? Not. In. The. Mood. Damn. His expression crossed to hurt as I threw a pillow over my head and rolled in the bed.

I gave a little yelp as I hit the floor, ugh I was so clumsy when I first woke up. Isn't falling out of the bed the best way to start your day? I know right? I humored myself as I just laid there, with my pillow as a cushion for my head. My legs were sprawled in different uncomfortable directions. I was a stubborn bitch when I first wake up. And the sad part is I felt myself falling back to sleep while I was on the floor.

Bill picked me up off the floor and held me bridal style. "Time to get going lovely." He smiled down at me. A little part of him was hoping I was going to talk to him with actual words, but I couldn't. I only did because last night was a weak point, and I was too scared.

But I don't wanna! I drawled out the wanna part. Because I could honestly care less right now, if I wanted to sleep, that would be the only thing on my mind for ages.

"But you have to!" He sang. "Aren't you hungry?" He taunted me with the thought of food. But it wasn't working. I shook my head and pulled myself sloser to his chest. "We go back to school tomorrow! Aren't you excited?" I shook my head again. Definitely not. He sighed. "I guess your dad was right when he said you were stubborn and grumpy when you first wake up huh?"

I nodded to him. I hate mornings.

He laughed at that. "Well if you want to call one in the afternoon a morning be my guest."

It didn't phase me in the least. I could still go to bed right now, so it don't matter. I stuck my tongue out at him. I'm a really lazy person, if you haven't noticed.

"Oh, I've noticed!" He exclaimed with a smirk in his voice. "Lets see here. I'm carrying you, and you're practically falling asleep in my arms."

I gave a silent groan. Why do you have to be so happy?

He smiled. "I like to be happy, it usually makes everyone around me happy." He placed me on my own two feet and I swayed. I immediately wanted to be in his arms again. I gave a great yawn and stretched, it felt so good to do so. He took my hands in his and sat us both down on the bed. God, here it comes.

I beat him to the punch, because I already knew where this was going. About last night… He cut me off with an apologetic smile.

"Yeah, about last night…" He trailed off. "It was ok you know." I raised my eyebrows at him, ushering him to keep talking. "It's not bad to talk. Like, I don't know what's made you this way, but obviously it wasn't good right?" I nodded barely moving my head. "Why did you talk?" He asked, eyes softening as they met my gaze.

Well I was fully awake now; sadly. I was scared… I trailed off. I really didn't know what he wanted me to say. I talked because it was dark, and I wanted you to help me out. Thank you Billa.

He blushed. "Your welcome lovely." This time I leaned up for a kiss, desperately needing it. Our lips moved in sync, and I enjoyed it as he slipped his tongue in my mouth. Tongue stud was cold against mine, I even made him moan?

"Whoa you guys!" Tom boomed, practically in front of us with that damn camera. He smirked as he looked down at the screen, satisfied with what he captured. "When are you going to come for food? Or are you happy with what your going to eat here baby bro?" I gasped from his remark and flipped him off with both my hands. "You're just so cute!" He cooed and ruffled my hair. Messing it worse than it was.

Bill scoffed. "You are such a pig." He stated towards his brother. "And were coming! Damn."

Tom rolled his eyes. "I'm just going to hang here and sleep until the car is up and running."

I gaped at Bill. So he's allowed to sleep?

He busted out laughing. "Well, I'm bored without you lovely!" He pouted. I placed a quick kiss on his lips and hopped up, putting on my shoes. Great, time to start the day. "What do you want to eat?" He asked on our war down the hotel flight of steps. Man this place was trashy.

Waffle House. I said blandly, I was in the mood for breakfast food in the afternoon and I knew they could take care of my needs.

He smiled, taking my hand. "I swear I was just craving waffles, we must have the twin thing going on."

Good thing there's one right across the street, because my feet are blistered and aching from all the walking we did yesterday. If I thought they were hurting the other day, I was wrong. I felt pain now, I might have been limping a bit.

Bill snorted and I elbowed him playfully in the ribs. "What? I mean I did carry you around a lot yesterday."

I rolled my eyes. Not at the fair! God that was too much walking… you should give me a foot rub! My facial expression said it all.

"Sorry, I don't like feet!" Bill laughed at me. He held the door open for me, and shocker! We were the only ones in there besides the lazy looking staff members. What did you expect? Waffle house in the middle of no where, of course the staff was going to be lazy since no one ordered anything.

A very feminine looking guy came up and greeted us, well greeted Bill. The guy acted like I wasn't even there! He must have been totally checking out Bill. I rolled my eyes, of course. "What can I do for you?" He asked Bill, with a flirty voice. Did everyone speak English here?

He smiled happily and looked down at his menu, I did the same because this boy didn't play about his food. "I want a large sized waffles?" He said confused. "And powdered sugar! And I would like eggs and hash browns too." He said smoothly. "How about you Abby?" The waiter turned with a very displeased look on his face.

Same. I kept it short.

"What would you guys like to drink?" He asked, turning back to Bill.

"She'll have a Big Red and I'll take a Coke."

"Ok." He said swiftly, closing his notepad and walking behind the bar so he could get to cooking.

HOLYSUGARTITS!

"Oh god Shilo's worn off on you…" He trailed off.

Never mind that! He was totally checking you out! I was getting a really big kick out of this.

"What? Ew! No!" Was his only reaction.

In denial?

"I'm not gay Abby." He said with his mouth drawn into a fine line, wow, touchy subject much.

I know Billa, I'm just teasing you. I reached for his hands across the table and I gave them a firm squeeze. I hated seeing him sad like this, I'd rather have him his good ole peppy self than this.

"I know, but still. My whole life I've been teased about it, I don't need it from you too alright?" He said sadly.

Ok, it wont happen again.

"Good!" He exclaimed very happy again.

XxX

We hung out in Waffle House for hours just talking and laughing, and lets just say the waiter wasn't gay. Simply mistook Bill for a girl. I wanted to laugh when I figured it out, but I didn't want to hurt his self esteem anymore. I did enough with the gay crap, even though it wasn't too bad, I still had felt bad. Today was good. Keyword was.

I'm home now. Sadly. My dad is home too, and he's brought home a girl, who isn't Simone. I hate him when he's like this, he is just a man whore sometimes and it kills me. Mom wouldn't have approved, Andy would have rebelled, and I well, I don't know. I cant really protest, because the therapist said it was completely normal. But we all know that. I think its hard on me because she isn't my mom. I'll never get that back.

I had locked myself in my room, refusing to come out and greet them, I was sick of him and his ways. It was gross and wrong, I mean why couldn't he find a woman and stick with her? Love was always better that way, wasn't it? I was shaken from my thoughts with their insane laughter coming from the room next to mine. The guest bedroom. Fuck.

I wish I was feeling the rush of happiness from earlier, but all I felt now was helplessness and depression. I knew what I was getting ready to do, and I hated it, bus sometimes it was the only way I stayed sane. My razor. I was craving the rush of hard cold steel slashing my skin. I gave in to the wanting and craving. I was weak.

I dug through one of my bags, it was nestled in an old wallet compartment. My enemy. My friend. My downfall. I cried so hard as I heard the moans from the other room. Why does my family have to be so broken? I locked myself into my bathroom, hoping I could hear them any less. It didn't really make a difference.

I held the blade at the base of my left wrist and made cuts, designs, shapes… whatever you want to call it. Anything to take my mind off of reality. I was in a trance, and nothing was breaking it. I was ashamed of myself, and for what I've done. It only made me feel worse and cut even worse. I finally came to and realized what I did.

I looked at my arm in disgust. "FUCK!" I yelled in frustration. I kicked the tub with all my might and regretted it instantly. I bowed down and cried on the floor. Blood stained my bare legs as I brought them to my chest and held them there.

Why do I let these things get to me?

:3

Well I had to throw some depression in there :] Wonder if Bill will notice tomorrow at school? ;) Hope you all liked it? :D

LYRICS :D

- Got a secret? Can you keep it? Swear this one you'll save! Better lock it, in your pocket takin this one to the grave. Cos if I show you, then I know you wont tell what I saw! Cos two can keep a secret if one of them is dead ;)

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