Chapter five: Weee! Iceflower...you make me jump for joy. I'll put some of your suggestion in ch. 6! Thanks for keeping up with this story!

Disclaimer: I don't own POTO, les mis, J+H, Fiddler on the roof, Teen beach movie, or Grease

(On the streets of Paris...Well more like the front steps of the Opera House)

Me: RED , THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN

Gustave: BLACK, THE DARK OF AGES PAST!

Erik: I'LL KILL YOU BOTH IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP!

(Silence)

Gustave: ONCE THERE WAS A NIGHT BENEATH A MOONLESS SKKYYY! TOO DARK TO SEE A THING! TO DARK TO EVEN TRYYY!

Me: AND I TOUCHED YO-

Erik: NOO! That song is far from child friendly, remember T fic, not M fic.

Me, and Gustave: ...Fine.

Gustave: Didn't you write that?

Erik: I was drunk...

Me: What's it about anyways?

Both...

Erik: (whispers in my ear. I slap him hard)

Me: Why would you write a song about that?

Erik: Oww...(rubs cheek) Closure..

Gustave: What did it mean?

Me: (whispers in his ear. Jaw drops and turns red)

Gustave: I meant none of that... (to Erik) I've lost what little respect I had for you.

...

Erik: Do we actually have to go outside? In the sunlight?

Me: The barricade is like five blocks away, man.

Erik: Sunlight's not my thing.

Me: Well it is now! (Drags both of them into the streets)

Gustave: Dad why are yo-

Erik: Easy with the D- word! This is still new for me!

Gustave: Okay...Why are you wearing a hood?

Me: Seriously, Erik?

Erik: I'm trying to look invisible!

Me: Well your hardly close to invisible now.

Erik: Can't we just hire a cab?

Me: Its only five blocks!

Erik: Pwease? (puppy dog eyes)

Me: Fine...But your puppy eyes are kinda freaky...

Gustave: (at passing carridges) Um, excuse me, pardon me-

(Everyone ignores)

Me: You're being too nice.

Erik: What would you know?

Me: (whistles loudly) TAXI!

(Everyone stops)

Me: (Smile smugly)

Me: Well that was a waste of money.

Gustave: And time.

Erik: And I didn't have to show my face!

Me: (frowning) Let's just get to the stupid-(Jaw drops)

(We come into the barricade or what's left of it, full of barricade boys, people of multiple centuries, national guardsmen, other Les misians, and a bunch of other random characters from other places are partying/ destroying the barricade. A disco ball is hovering in mid-air, fan-girls are chasing a shirtless, torn up Enjolras, Marius and Cosette are hitting it off, as usual, Gavroche is DJ-ing a crowd of people, while his gangs are pickpocketing every national guardsmen. The Café is in the process of being t-peed by high Narnians, Javert is playing 'Pin the tail on the Law', which is himself, Bousset is smashing mirrors, Combeferre is failing at hitting on Lucy, Hyde is strangling Combeferre, Emma is laughing and singing drunk songs with Fantine and the 'lovely' ladies'. Everyone is high, except Enjolras and Eponine.)

Me: Oh my gosh...

Granatire: (On the roof, waving Enjolras' red vest, clearly the most drunk of them all) WITHOUT OUR TRADITION...OUR LIVES WOULD BE AS STEADY AS...THE FIDDLER ON THE ROOOOOFFF! DI, DI, DI, DI, DI, DIE!

Enjolras: (stops running for five seconds) GIVE ME BACK MY VEST OR YOU'LL DIE!

Granatire: Never! (Falls off the roof)

Gavroche: (Not high. Dressed like a ghetto DJ, in red and black, yelling to the crowd, in oversized headsets) Yo! Yo! Yo! Whattup people!

Crowd: (Cheers)

Me: (Makes an angry come-over-here sign with my hands)

Gavroche: This is DJ Master Gavroche over hee-ya at The Red+Black Club! and that special time of the hour has come again! I'm throwin' the mic to my sista' from the same mista' Master E.P!

(Eponine walks on stage, dressed like a biker girl in red and black leather, and cherry stilletoes) Yo! Whattup y'all!

(Gavroche walks through the crowd, to me)

Eponine: I'd like to invite the two other Barricade Girls up hee-yah! My sista from another mista Azelma-

Mr. Thenardier: WHAT!

Mme. T:...

Eponine: And Cosette! (Both come up in identical red and black leather)

Me: (to Gavroche) What the beep is going on?

Gavroche: (grabbing a plastic cup of beer) Granatire came back with a really large bag of whitish powder which he put in this stuff, then he called up some people, hired some stuff and... BAM! I'm a DJ! And check it out! ( lifts up sleeve to show it covered in phone numbers) Chicks dig me, man!

Gustave: (As Gavroche is drinking) Jeez, man...

Me: (smacks cup out of his hand) Don't drink that! You're under-aged!

Enjolras: (storms up) THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

Me: Erik! How much of this stuff did you make?

Erik: I needed a lot of closure...and it was medical. Say it with me. Me-dic-al

Gustave: Isn't this stuff illegal?

Erik: Yeah. But isn't everything I do?

Both: Touche

Enjolras: You better end this, NOW!

Fangirls: Enjolras, where are you?

Enjolras: (jumps into my arms) HIDE ME! They'll KILL ME!

Me: Get off!

Enjolras: If I do will you end this?

Me:...

Enjolras: WILL YOU?

Me: (drops him) FINE!

(Summons lightning and thunder) Time to clear out!

Everyone: BBBOOOOO!(People start to slowly filter out)

Aslan: (with the White Witch, sleeping on his back) This gathering was quite exquisite, if I may say. See ya on Saturday! (walks out)

Me: O.o

Fangirls: (Cry in a massive death march, and walk out the door) WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU, ENJY!

Enjolras: GO ROT IN HE-

Me: Calm down, Harry!

Enjolras: Who the heck is THAT! Mordern day slang is so confuzling!

Gustave: Never say that word ever again.

Me: Agreed!

(Barricade girls walk up, or try to in their high heels. Azelma is bowing bubble gum.)

Me: You look like you three just washed up from the Jersey Shore.

Eponine: Meanie.

Cosette: (In a failed Jersey accent) Why'd ya end the part-aye?

Azelma: (blows bubble, and twists some red hair in between her fingers) We were going to get our big bre-aye-k!)

Me: First of all, stop with the Snookie accent. You're from France, not Hollywood. And second, the only thing you'll be breaking, are those heels of yours. You're helping us clean this mess up.

All: WHATZZ!

Me: Yup.

Gustave: (turns around) I'll just be on my way, now...

Me: (Grabs his collar) Not so fast, de Changy. You agreed to come, here, Gustave, so you're helping out too.

Gustave: Aw sh-

Me: Watch your language.

Gavroche: But I have homework!

Me: Then why were you DJ-ing?

Gavroche:...

Me: Come on, let's get this over with...

Five minutes later...

(Gustave and I are trying to scrub off the purple and red spray-paint words "Narnia was here" and "The Red and Black Ruls" off the café walls with bleach. The Barricade girls are untepeeing the house, while Erik is getting rid of all the drugs, and Enjolras is gathering every unconcious up in a drunk pile.)

Erik: Where did all the other originals go?

Me: They passed out...but we still can't find Joly.

Gavroche: Yeah...He disappeared after the kids for the 80's came in.

Me: When was that?

Gavroche: Like 20 min. into the party.

Cosette: He was screaming really loud...

Me: He is still here, right?

Everyone: (Drops what they are doing) Joly! Joly! Where are you?

Gustave: I think I found him...

Enjolras: What does he look like.

Gustave: Brown hair, scrawny, pale, big green eyes, shaking like a maraca... Should I continue?

Joly: I'm not that scrawny!

Enjolras: (runs into the café with me) Nope, that's him.

(Joly is crammed into a small armoir, in fetal position, covered in something really sticky, and foul-smelling, shaking uncontrollably)

Me: What happened to you?

Joly: Germs...maple syrup...help! (drops out and faints onto the floor)

Erik: How did he become part of that revolution, anyways?

Enjolras: (shrugs) Desperation, to the highest degree.

Erik: And yet you still lost.

Enjolras: (Glare) It was a good idea!

Erik: Sure... less than 20 hormonally challenged, speech challenged, teenage boys try to stand up to a national army...Yeah 'cause that's how to make a difference.

Me: (Claps hands) Shut up, Barbie#2. Lets get back to work.

three hours later... which is like 7pm

Me: (collapses on the floor) Finally done!

Erik: I can't feel my arms.

Me: That means no more morphine, or drugs for you, Mr. Noseless.

Erik: Don't call me that...

Me: I can call you whatever I want.

Erik: Do you know what 'A' is for?

Gustave: What?

Erik: Ambulance.

Me:...

Erik: (creepily smiles)

Me: Okay, no more Mr. Noseless! Let's just get back to the cellar.

Erik: Lair. It's a lair, not. a. cellar.

Me: Typing. like. this. doesn't. make. you're. point. stronger. it . just. makes. you. look. like. your. computer. or. you. have. athsma.

Everyone: (Too tired to respond) I'm gonna call it a night.

Gustave: I have to start heading back home, now. Mom is gonna freak. (runs down the street)

Me: Isn't Christine's house that way? (Points in the opposite direction)

Erik: Yeah...Do you wanna tell him?

Me: (Pauses) Nahh... He'll figure it out, eventually.

Done! Please R&R! P.S. I have noticed that most of my 230 views are from the first chapter... is the story that bad? Please try to read some more, and I will send you a basket full of cookies! Feedback wanted.