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That Day- Tokio Hotel was the song (: Shaker10, TokioNutter and XxShelbyxKaulitzxX got the song :D

Alien

Chapter 20: On the muthafuckin Edge :D

*Couple of months later :3*

Not much has happened in the past couple of months. Except me and Bill have gotten impeccably closer, and I loved that. No one has confessed their feelings to each other about the other. I still had my doubts about that boy liking me, but every time he would kiss me he melted those feelings away. The farthest we've ever gone in our make out sessions is when one of us ends up shirtless. I've just been in my thong before. We haven't had sex though. Came close a few times. But we both instinctively stop.

I think we both value each others friendship too much to have sex ruin it. As long as I got to stand by his side I was going to be okay. I grew stronger and stronger everyday. I haven't had a panic attack in weeks! I'm so proud of myself because of that. I still didn't talk, well because I still couldn't bring myself to yet. My past was still a weak spot, but I've only grown to put it behind me like it never really happened. And I cant do it. Because it did happen, and it felt wrong to forget my mom and Andy.

I was never going to come to terms with anything until Bryan is behind bars. I know it sounds horrible, but they never caught the bastard. After the accident he all of a sudden disappeared, like he vanished off of the face of the earth or something. I knew I was safe here, out of reach from him. But there was always that nagging in the back of my mind telling me that he was watching me. Always watching. But that was definitely my paranoia getting to me. I just couldn't let go that part in my life. When I talked I knew I was ready.

Georg had transferred into our tiny school a few weeks ago too, everything is going so smooth its scary. I knew Georg liked me, and he disapproved of my and Bill's odd relationship. He would always be super quiet when he was around me and Bill, the only time he engaged in conversation if the others were around or it was just me and him. I felt bad for the guy, because my heart belonged to Bill, even if Bill liked me or not. He was always going to have my heart. You cant help who you fall in love with.

Lately though, I've felt that Bill was being distant with me, and whenever I would ask him what was wrong he would shrug it off as nothing, or a headache. We hardly held hands in public anymore, he was always touchy behind closed doors. I was really hoping that the talk about us being together didn't finally get to him, because later on I was going to have a talk with him about his actions. I had to know what was wrong and why he was trying to push us a part a bit. Maybe he didn't want to be friends with benefits anymore?

I mean Prom was coming up pretty soon, and maybe he was going to ask me and he just didn't know what to say to me? I would love for me and Bill to go to prom, I've never been to one before. I've been to a homecoming and it just isn't the same as prom. What if that was what was up his sleeves? I mean he didn't have to distance us just to ask me? I don't even know anymore. I will be getting to the bottom of this later though. I had to figure him out.

You may ask if I still cut. Well I do, nothing too deep or harsh anymore, just enough to know I'm real and the life I'm living isn't a dream. Must sound silly to you all, but it's the truth. Sometimes I cant even believe I'm here in my position of being a good person, whose growing. It's hard to believe sometimes.

I was getting ready for school, I'm going to make it on time, something our group of friends never liked to do often. I've had ISAP over 12 times with my stay here, it's not that bad, because we do what we want. Beats school work and we get a full day credit for it. That school made no sense to me. But I loved it because all my friends go there, and I loved every single one of them. I felt sappy this morning id you couldn't tell?

I threw on a band tee and some skinny jeans, running the brush through my blonde hair. It has gotten pretty cold out here since the last scorching day. It was warm. My weather. I did my eyes and covered my scar. Things were looking in place and it felt like an overall good day. I hope my thoughts were correct and nothing sulky happened today. And that's when my whole demeanor changed with a text I received.

Bill: Can you walk to school without me this morning?

Well fuck my good mood. What in the world was he up to? See this is the shit I'm talking about, he's trying to push us apart or something. Now that I was pissed off and my good day was ruined by a silly text.

Me: Why?

It took him seconds to reply.

Bill: I don't want you to be late, and I just now got up.

Me: When has that ever stopped us from being late before?

I waited for a good five minutes and he still hasn't replied to me, so I just grabbed my school bag and took off out the door. Now I was royally pissed at him, if he wanted to talk he was going to have to find me in school. I piece of my heart broke when I realized he was probably going to avoid me as well. I tried not to think about it. I really did, but my mind kept reeling towards how much of a mess I'd be if I lost him. He was the one I shared everything with, well almost everything. I trusted him.

Maybe I was over thinking things?

I really wished I wore a jacket this morning, because the wind began to pick up, bringing in the chills along with it. I'm glad the school was warm and toasty because if it wasn't I think I'd might scream. I walked alone to music class, Shilo and Tom waved at me and I just gave a sad wave back, I wasn't in the mood. They gave me sympathetic smiles back. If I didn't know better they might have known what's going on between me and Bill right now. But nothing was wrong right?

I wasn't in the mood for whatever music class held in store for the class, and Bill didn't show up. We ended up watching Annie. I hated that movie, because we had to watch it so many times and decipher it in my middle school. Made me hate musicals too. I know its sad, because there is a lot of good ones out there, I just cant take the droning.

Bill was vacant during Art class, I mean not like I cared or anything because I never acknowledged him during art in the first place. I was always on edge, like something bad was going to happen again in here or something. I was currently barely passing this class with a low C. But I was scared to go anywhere near the Kiln because of what happened in my past. And this was a ceramics class, and I refused to do anything. The only reason my grade is up because of warm ups and I'll occasionally help Bill paint and glaze his work.

Slouching further down in my seat helped the back pain a bit, and it soothed the anxiety in my stomach. I felt like a bomb about to explode. I was waiting for Bill to walk through the doors at any moment, and I was waiting for him not to show up at all. I mean damn. I wonder why he was feeling so off about me. I don't think I've done anything to make him mad at me. We always laugh and have a good time whenever we were around each other. So why should be act this way towards me?

What if he realized he don't like me anymore? You know how he said he wasn't exactly sure? I bet that's it. He don't like me, not a crush, wasn't in love. I wonder if Bill goes into denial like I do? Or if that's too much to hope for. Things were going to be settled later tonight. He was going to have to face the facts and quit avoiding me. Its better to get things over with anyways then to keep hiding behind avoidance.

Lunch time was finally here and I walked arm in arm with Shilo, who was hand in hand with Tom. I scowled as Bill walked quietly behind us. As soon as we walked into the cafeteria people began whispering about 'My and Bill's tragic breakup!' That actually almost brought tears to my eyes too, because I didn't want us to ever grow apart from each other. I needed him, it may sound like I'm being selfish, but it's the truth. I'm not close with anyone like I am with Bill.

Bill slided in front of us in the lunch line and I wanted to grab his fucking ponytail and yank it a few harsh times. He grabbed an orange and a milk and I think he was set, he gave his number and stalked off. Food was looking less appetizing all of a sudden. I knew I had to eat something because if I didn't I would regret it. I grabbed an apple and the lunch lady shooed me out. Already knowing the mute girls number.

I looked for Bill and I found him sitting at our usual spot, his face staring blankly out the windows. He wasn't even going to greet me like he usually does. "Are you okay Kitten?" Georg asked, making me jump and nearly drop my yellow apple. He gave a chuckle. I shrugged, looking down. "Of course you aren't ok, want to skip out on lunch with me if you want to talk about it?"

I slightly nodded. I couldn't be here in the presence of all these people who might witness me cry. Having Bill ignore me for no fucking reason hurt really bad. I didn't want to lose my best friend. I followed Georg to a secluded hallway where we just sat in the middle of the floor leaning up against the lockers. I gave a content sigh. It felt so much better to just get away from that crowd, Georg was my savior.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked me concerned. "You looked completely torn in the cafeteria."

I sniffled but looked at him. Do you know what's going on with Bill? He's been pushing me away lately, but today he's full blown ignoring me. I gave a silent sigh.

He looked off into the distance. "I really don't know what's wrong with that boy. He's been really down lately, and he wont tell anyone what's wrong. And you have no clue?"

I don't know. But if he continues to act this way I'm going to have to have a talk with him tonight about it. If he's mad at me I don't know what I could have possibly done. I felt clueless.

"You really like him don't you?" Georg stated sadly. I only nodded. "Then I'll do whatever it takes to get you guys together. I think you guys need to be in a relationship instead of this friends with benefits crap. It only tears you apart in the end." He stated strongly.

I know… Thank you Georg for letting me talk to you when I needed someone. I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster ride today. I gave Georg a giant hug and smiled when he hugged me back.

"You ever need anything just ask alright? I'll probably do it for you anyways." He gave a great smile as the bell rang. He pulled us both up. "I'll see you 5th ok?" I nodded and went to class with the uneaten apple in my hand. Did I mention we all five had last class together too? It was pretty fun.

XxX

I laid my head down all through 5th period, not only I was in a crappy mood I felt like shit. I had taken a fall in math class into a box of compasses and I was lucky they were the cheap kind and not the ones with the real needle point. I might have to had to go get a tetanus shot if they were the real ones. At least Bill was man enough to help me up and ask if I was alright, I only gave him a curt nod before he went and sat down. Silvia made me clean up the mess. And my wrist was killing me from where I fell on it. Not like anyone cared or anything.

My head throbbed and Georg was making loud ass tap noises on the desk in front of me, occasional knocking his chair full force on my desk. It was pretty annoying and finally I smacked him as hard as I could on his back with the back of my hand. He immediately stopped and I kept my head down. I had too much on my mind.

I felt a presence next to me and I opened my eyes to find Shilo's squatting figure next to me. She looked rather concerned. "Are you okay Abbs?" She whispered.

I raised up slowly and reached for my marker and board. No, I've had a horrible day and now my head is killing me. :/

"Awh, poor you." She said. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

I shrugged. I'd probably end up texting her to come over later anyways whenever I was done with Bill. For some reason I felt that something bad was going to happen. Not in the sense of bad but in the sense of me crying bad. Nothing you can really do… I wrote back. She seemed to sympathize. I think she knew something was up between me and Bill, hell the whole school knew.

"Text me later? Or just text me whenever and I'll be over in a flash since I'm right next door ok?" She said. She was an amazing friend, always looking out for me. I stopped my thoughts. Bill used to be like that and now this happened.

I gave a small nod, because I couldn't handle anything else. She hugged me once then got up from her place on the floor. "I love you ok?" She spoke softly.

I love you too. My lips formed. She seemed to understand that much, and gave me a great smile.

The day after school was very alone and scary. Well only scary because I was scared to text Bill to tell him to come over here. Dad was away at his job and I was stuck here, eating take out again. But of course I was way too wound up to eat anything, I only sat there hugging myself on the couch. I was the definition of a sad loner.

The thing that pushed me over the edge was when I went to the kitchen to grab something to drink when I heard everyone having a happy time over at Simone's house. I guess Bill could be happy, but still it gave him no right to treat me like that. And somehow hearing them over there laughing pissed me off. I grabbed my phone and composed a text. Hopefully he would have his phone on him.

Me: Can you come over?

I hesitated on the send button, but I knew it was the right thing to do because I had to get this over with. I needed to figure out why in the world he was ignoring me for.

Bill: Cant.

Are you serious? That was his only reply. There was definitely something going on in his head, because this wasn't normal Bill behavior.

Me: You need to come over now. We have to talk.

Bill: Fine, but I don't think you'll like what I have to say.

My stomach dropped as I placed my phone on the table, and waited for him to arrive. I was going to cry. I already knew. Anxiety was eating my stomach alive, and I couldn't soothe it away no matter how hard I tried. This wasn't good.

Four knocks at the front door signaled his arrival. Sooner than I thought would be possible, knowing how stubborn he's been to me lately. I opened the door and he must have taken in my hurt appearance because his face softened. "Oh Abby, I really am sorry." He scooped me up in his arms and closed the door behind him. "I'm sorry for hurting you because I know I have been doing so. I'm just so confused right now."

I stepped out from his warm embrace and quirked an eyebrow at him. Why are you confused? You know I'll help you out no matter what.

"I'm just thinking about our upcoming tour and a bunch of school drama." He sighed sadly. Yeah the tour was supposed to be really big, I didn't want to think about it because it meant he was going to be leaving me. School drama? I'm in all his classes and I don't ever notice anything wrong with him? Maybe I need to pay more attention to my surroundings?

I understand, you're under a lot of pressure. Do you need me to help you sort anything out with you? I really don't mind. I said with a hopeful smile, anything to be close with him again. I needed to touch him, have him hold me. Anything.

He gave a loud and noisy sigh. "Might as well get this over with." He muttered, and I found myself on high alert. "About prom…" He trailed off. Butterflies fluttered happily in my stomach, he was going to take me! He was going to tell me he loved me? What? Abby no! I scolded myself. "What do you think about me taking…" He trailed off, uncertain if he should tell me or not.

I gave a great smile. So sure it was going to be me. Who do you want to take? I felt all giddy inside. I've never been asked to prom before, even though its weeks away.

He let out a deep breath he was holding. "Heather…"

:3

Boom! Bam! Snap! Crackle! Pop! O_o Shit has hit the fan people! D: Don't worry, things will get better, next chapter tells it all (; Don't hate me for this cliffy alright? And sorry if it was boring, because it was a little blah? I updated early today :3

LYRICS :D

-If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed of roses, sink me in the river at dawn. Send me away on the words of a love song. Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother, she'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors…

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