Chapter 8 is up! You guys keep it up with the ideas! I would've never thought of them without you guys! Because you're awesome like that! Iceflower, your idea is used in this chapter. You are an Angel of Music.

Disclaimer: If I owned POTO, Les Mis, or J+H, Hyde, Raoul, Marius, and Simon Stride had better leave the country while you still can...But I will always find you...(creepy smile, and maniacal laughter) I also don't own any of the songs below, and I only slightly own the parodies. Josette gave me many of these ideas. I'm NOT a Justin Bieber fan or a One Direction fan. But I love beauty and a beat! But Nicky Minaj ruined it!

Enjoy!

Chapter Eight: In Which We Try To Find Ourselves:

(Dancing like crazy people, singing accapela)

Emma: I PUT MY HANDS UP! A' PLAYING MY SONG, AT THAT BARRICADE A-A-AGAIN!

Lucy: NODDING MY HEAD LIKE YEA!

Meg: COMPOSING LIKE WE JUST DON'T CARE!

Christine: I PUT MY HANDS UP A PLAYIN' MY SONG!

All girls: THIS IS GONNA BE A GREAT DAY! HEY, HEY, HEY! HIT IT LIKE CHRISTINE DAAE!

Me: I'M SAYING HEY, HEY HEY, HEY!

All: HIT IT LIKE CHRISTINE DAAE! (end in an epic harmony)

Me: We should start an accapela group!

Christine: Heck yes!

Hyde: That was the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

Meg: But what would we call ourselves?

Emma: The Barden Bellas

Me: That name is already taken.

Jekyll: I can't believe I almost married her!

Simon Stride: I can't believe I was attracted to her!

Hyde: I killed all of you for a reason.

(Beaconsfield walks in wearing a purple disco top, green sweatpants, and cherry high heels)

Me: What are you wearing?

Emma: You thought I was joking when I said she had no sense of style? She couldn't match a shirt and pants, to save her life!

Fantine: How about the Re-

(Erik comes in with a toothbrush in his mouth, for like the umpteenth time. If he comes in there one more time with that thing in his mouth, I'll smack him.)

Erik: What are these people doing in my house?

Me: Group therapy.

Erik: It didn't look like that.

Meg: We were breaking the ice...sort of.

Erik: Whatever. I'm going to go and stalk Christine now.

Me: (stops him) Not so fast. (points to a brace on his foot) You're under house arrest remember?

Erik: That's because my own son, and you dressed up like me, and dropped a chandelier on Carlotta!

Carlotta: Zhat vas you?

Me: Shut up, cow. But seriously, Erik, you're going to participate in this session, or else.

Erik: Or what?

Me: (Puts in Justin Bieber CD)

Justin Bieber: ALLL I NEEEDDDD IS A BEAUTY AND A BEEAATT THAT CAN MAKE MY LIFEE COOOMMMPPPLLEEETTTEEEE!

Erik: (in fetal position) FINE I'LL PARTICIPATE IN YOUR STUPID MEETING! JUST TURN THE ABOMINABLE GIRL OFFF!

Fantine: That's a boy.

Ten minutes later, once everyone is calmed down, and eating cakes and coffee...

Me: Today we'll be talking about self-identity, which all you people completely lack.

Erik: I know who I am!

Me: That's not what I meant. Now lets all go around the room and say what our life accomplishments are, and what we could do to accomplish more.

Everyone:...

Me: Hyde, start talking.

Hyde: Well I killed Beaconsfield, General Glossop, The Bishop of Baringstroke, Teddy, Lucy, man that one was fun.

Lucy: (Lunges for him, but Cosette and Eponine hold her down)

Hyde: That one annoying newsboy, that thick-necked fop, Stride, Sir Archibald Props, myself, Jekyll, and I would've killed that dumb blonde Disney princess, if those two old geezers hadn't gotten in the wa-

Danvers and Utterson: HEY!

Stride: I'm NOT A FOP!

All of the Jekkies: Yes you are!

Me: Okay! Let's move onto Christine. Wait no! She kinda accomplished everything she wanted to in life. Right?

Christine: Pretty much.

Me: Let's move onto Fantine, then Lucy. Fantine what have you done in your life?

Fantine: Well, I fell in love with a guy named Felix.

Mini Cosette: Fix-It-Felix?

Everyone:...

Me: (tries not to die laughing)

Fantine: Honey, would you like to see the unicorn in the torture chamber?

Mini Cosette: But there's no uni-

Fantine: Just go!

(Mini Cosette leaves)

Fantine: And Felix and I had an affair, thus Cosette came out of it-

Mini Cosette: (Comes back all dusty and covered in cobwebs) There was no unicorn, Mommy! What did I miss?

Me: Nothing...

Fantine: So I gave Cosette to some innkeepers, and worked at a factory, then was kicked out a month later, thanks to Le Maire. Since I couldn't find any jobs, I sold my teeth and hair to pay for Cosette, got rescued by Valjean and died.

Emma:...Well that was cheery.

Eponine: Didn't you forget about the part when you become a prosi-

Me: Moving on. Lucy how was your life?

Lucy: My childhood was pretty bad, and since I was poor, I became a prostitute to help pay for food and water an-

Mini Cosette: What's a prostitute?

Everyone:...

Hyde: A prostitute is someone who gets paid t-

Me: There's a child in here! What he means is a prostitute is someone who plays...hop-scotch...with...many people?

Christine: Mainly men.

Cosette: How come my younger self doesn't know that, and I do?

Me: Don't question it.

Lucy: Then I met Jekyll, and he was nice to me. Then someone beat me up, and I crawled to Dr. Jekyll's house again, and he healed my back, and we kissed-

Emma: YOU DID WHAT?!

Jekyll: It wasn't like that! It was just a peck!

Emma: YOU DID WHAT!

Lucy: Sure...because pecks last three minutes.

Jekyll: It did not. She kissed me!

Emma: You were that woman my fiancée was hanging around?

Hyde: You catch on slow.

Emma: HOW DARE YO-

Lucy: LET ME FINISH MY LIFE STORY!

(Everyone goes silent)

Me: (whispering to Eponine) No wonder she can belt.

Lucy: Soo. I was bought by Hyde, then Jekyll sent me money, and I sang a showtune, then was stabbed to death, by that son of a b-

Me: Language!

Emma: Wow. Even I had more self identity than that.

Stride: Are you always this snippy?

Emma: Judgemental, not snippy.

Me: Emma, according to your record, you haven't done anything in your life...

Emma: That's not true! I've done...I...um...

Hyde: Getting lost, sweetheart?

(Emma attacks him)

(Mini Cosette's eyes are being covered by Fantine. Everyone else is placing bets, on whose gonna win. I'm the only one that puts 10 dollars to Emma.)

Me: SOMEONE TEAR THESE TWO APART! THIS IS A CELLAR NOT A CIRCUS-

Erik: Its a laiiirrrrrr.

(Emma and Hyde let go of each other. Hyde's right eye is swollen shut, and two of his teeth are on the floor, while Emma has a black eye, a swollen cheek, and blood pouring form her forehead.)

Me: (collecting around three hundred dollars) Come to mommy!

(Everyone collectively groans)

Me: For fictional characters, you guys are loaded.

Lucy: Aren't you a fictional character?

Me: Yeah...but I'm broke.

Hyde: (spitting blood onto the floor) For a sissy, you can really pack a punch.

Emma: Vye I outahhh- (Lunges for Hyde again but I hold her back. She gives me a bruise, on my neck.)

Me: Emma pull yourself together!

Mr. Carew: I created a monster...

Utterson:...

Me: (injects tranquilizer into Emma's arm) Calm yourself.

Emma: I do stuff in my life.

Eponine: You're basically like a Disney princess, who lacks self identity and lives only to fall in love with creepy rich strangers.

Me: That was spot on.

Emma: What do I have to do to prove it to you?

Me: (like a prophet) You must find yourself, my child.

Emma: I'm 23, and you're 14.

Me: (snapping out of prophetiness) You ruined the moment, of prophet-ude.

Emma: Whatever, how long do I have to "find myself"?

Me: About a week. That's lots of time.

Emma: Fine. (walks outside)

(Gustave walks in)

Gustave: Hey! Woah...what happened to you?

Me: Emma Carew. Is it noticeable?

Gustave: Nope. Do you have that stuff I asked of you?

Lucy: Is that you boyfriend?

Me: No way. Just friends.

Hyde: LOVE ME! THAT'S ALL I ASK OF YOU!

Me: (electrocutes him, and hands him a large packet of illegal remote controlled fireworks)

Meg: Where did you get those?

Me: (Points at Hyde)

Utterson: (Like a drama queen) Edward Hyde, what do you have to say for yourself?

Hyde: (shrugs) Fish gotta swim.

Lucy: What do you plan to do with those?

Gustave: Putting them in Carlotta's wig in tonight's production of Don Juan Triumphant.

Me: I'm Amita!

Emma: With Piagi?

Gustave: Piagi's dead. I'm that Don Kuan guy.

Me: Don Juan

Gustave: Yep.

Christine: Aren't you two a little young, to play those roles?

Gustave: People say I look 21.

Me: I don't see it...and besides, people died at age 30 in this time. We're practically middle aged.

Gustave: Look at you, Mom. You died at 28.

Christine: WHAT!

Me: (grabbing Gustave and running) Sorry, gotta go sew these into Carlotta's wig! Bye!

Torturing Carlotta is fun! Please R&R!