Chapter 16 - Tale of Two Names
Korra claps like everyone else. This is a fancy establishment. Anything less than fitting in, even if it's all a façade, is expected.
Asami, however, makes no move to clap and remains twisted in her seat, focused on the embracing couple. If any of the other patrons are to gander a glance at her, they may assume she's haughty and much too important to use her energy to congratulate them. In reality, the stunned expression she wears – unbeknownst to Korra – is accompanied by her mind being yanked in every direction.
Kaori? Where have I heard that name before? Is she someone from the Society?
This isn't some exaggerated romance movie. The woman's face rests on the shoulder of the man, eyes shimmering with tears in the low lighting. She looks happy, but she doesn't look ecstatic and boastful like Korra would expect snobby socialites to act over an engagement. Even as the gaudy ring is slid onto her finger and the two seal their engagement with kisses and more applause, something just doesn't feel right.
"Who is that?"
Asami finally turns in her seat, looking like she's seen a dark spirit. "That's Kaori Himura. The girl I told you about when I came out."
A freight train suddenly hits Korra, information rushing into the forefront of her mind. Her eyes frantically bounce between Asami and Kaori and her fiancé at the center of attention of several men in suits. Most of the suited men pay more attention to the man. Kaori looks more like a pretty thing on his arm. Her immaculate smile nearly splits her face in half, and she flashes her new and expensive accessory at every opportunity, soaking in the spotlight.
"Shit!" Asami mutters under her breath, repeatedly glancing back at them. Eventually, she settles for leaning her elbows on the table and pushing her hair away from her face, looking a little frantic. "What are the chances that this is how we're in the same room again?"
"Asami?" At Korra's gentle touch to her wrist, just below the bracelets she gave her, Asami snaps out of her panic.
"I'm sorry," she apologizes, taking Korra's hands. "I'm sorry. Just, seeing her again in this situation and knowing is absolutely devastating."
"Asami, don't worry about it," Korra reassures, kissing the backs of both her hands. "You haven't seen Kaori in how many years, and here you are worried about her because you know who she really is? A lot of people would just turn a blind eye, but not you. It just proves how perfect you are."
"I'm far from perfect," Asami says, shaking her head down at the table. "I'm sorry for ruining the mood."
"There's absolutely nothing to apologize for, Asami." She squeezes their hands tightly to emphasize her point and smiles proudly.
"I…" In any other situation, Asami biting her lip might excite Korra, but this is a nervous tick, not a sensual one. "I kind of want to go over there and congratulate them. It'll be under false pretenses, but it'd be better than nothing. On the other hand, I worry Kaori will get defensive and potentially cause a scene."
The ever-calculating woman she is, could never have foreseen this occurring on their romantic night on the town. It's actually kind of ironic this is how they're in the same room again. But maybe, it's the world telling Asami something. And unless Korra's nudges her, she knows Asami won't follow through with what's brewing in her mind.
"Do you think you'd regret it if you don't go over there?" Korra already knows the answer to this as a few seconds pass by before she responds.
"Probably." She sighs, continuing the assault on her lip as she pauses for a beat, staring down at their hands before lifting her eyes to meet Korra's. "I love you, Korra. Don't doubt it for a second. There're no traces of attraction or desire for her. It's just-"
"You want real closure now that you're adults? You're more than comfortable with your sexuality now and wish to try to impart some wisdom on her? Like she did without even realizing it and hoping that maybe she can be as happy with someone she truly loves as you are with me?"
"Yes," is Asami's simple answer. The soft brushes against her knuckles from Korra coaxes a smile out of her. "You're smarter than you realize."
"I've proven that I am capable of thinking then?" Korra laughs, communicating with her eyes that she'll follow Asami's lead to which she nods a little. "I'm always here for you."
It honestly doesn't bother Korra. If it were anybody else – such as an insecure, immature man – they may have had a problem with the way Asami's been distracted with Kaori and getting lost in her head. The difference is that Korra fully trusts Asami and understands her point of view.
Every step they take closer to the couple, engaged in a fancy showing of linked arms and drinking champagne, and further away from their table, the more it feels like reality shifts. Lively colors and deep conversations transform into sepia, faded tones and hushed discussions as if they are stepping into the past.
It's only when Kaori lowers her glass to the table that she notices their approach and looks like a catdeer caught in the headlights. At this, her fiancé fully turns to see what's caught her attention
It's obvious he's Fire Nation with his deep amber eyes. His dark hair is cropped close on the sides with the top portion much longer and likely a righteous mess when it's not gelled back. It may be cute, sexy even when it's messy and accompanied by his dimples, sharp jawline, and obvious muscles beneath his suit. The goatee's a little much though.
He's an epitome of masculinity and a handsome male at face value.
"Excuse us, we just wanted to offer our blessings and congratulations," Asami greets with a warm smile, nodding at both of them.
Korra says her own congratulations and nods, lingering on Kaori. She is an attractive young woman. Like Asami, Korra would never have a confident inkling that she finds women attractive without her outright telling her.
As soon as her catdeer act disappears, Kaori affords Korra same perusal – eyes narrowing in what she suspects is a coverup. It's over as soon as it started and replaced with a confident woman, poised for celebrations and attention with strangers.
In a way, it reminds Korra of Asami.
"Thank you! May I ask who these congratulations are from?" The man vigorously shakes both of their hands.
"I apologize for my rudeness. I'm Asami Sato, and-"
At just the mention of the Sato name, the man seems to forget Korra and Kaori are there and awestruck with the Sato name and Future Industries. Asami takes it like a professional, and like a professional, gets them back on topic.
"As I was saying, this is Korra Waters, my girlfriend." With a loving smile, Asami pulls Korra in closer. For a moment, the two of them gaze into each other's eyes as if they're the ones who got engaged. "If you may offer us the pleasure, we would love to pay for your meal to celebrate your joyous occasion."
The man's body becomes rigid, shifting defensively and eyes narrowing a little. She'd seen that look at the holiday function and is guaranteed to see it moving forward with Asami at more Society gatherings. No matter how he tries to express his acceptance of their relationship, his false interest in them, the core of him is abhorrence.
The moment Asami introduces Korra, Kaori turns a blind eye. She can't even look them in the eye and busies herself with sipping some water, the perfect disguise for her ruse.
"Thank you, Miss Sato. But rest assured, our tab for the night has been covered," he informs her, trying to act nonchalant about the situation. He fails though and is clearly trying to assert his dominance over her and remain polite. "It has been a pleasure to meet you and Miss Waters tonight. We are gracious for your compliments. My fiancée and I have much to celebrate. If you could excuse us?"
He never offers to introduce himself or Kaori. With her water all gone now, she remains silent and merely smiles. It's only when Korra and Asami turn when she breaks her silence with a steady question.
"Asami, do you remember me?"
Vivid green meet cloudy gold in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their respective partners watching. One in the know; the other in the dark. Green hesitates, silently questioning gold if this is really what she wants.
"I'm sorry?" Asami acts confused like she doesn't recognize Kaori, placing Kaori in the driver's seat with the gear shift. "We've met before?"
"Kaori Himura ring a bell?" The smile on her lips softens a little, looking a little more authentic. "We met a few times back in the day."
"Kaori Himura," Asami repeats in disbelief, grinning and playing the part perfectly. "My spirits! You've grown since I've last seen you!"
"So have you," she whispers, a touch remorse cracking her flawless expression and voice. The clearing of a throat across the table and somewhat disgruntled expression gets her attention, smothering that remorse. "My apologies, honey. This is my fiancé, Kenji Zhao."
"General Kenji Zhao," he corrects in a gruff tone, clearly not in favor of this little reunion. There is a polite way to correct people. Is that how you talk to your fiancée? You were just chummy with Asami a few minutes ago before you learned she's dating me! "You never told me you had connections with the Sato family."
Kaori ignores his remark and takes them in, lingering on Korra a little longer. For just a moment, those gold eyes flash with what appears as…longing? But like before, it's gone as soon as it appears. "Asami, it's been nice seeing you. If you could excuse us?"
This time, they're not met with words. But they do feel the heat of their stares every step of the way back to their table.
"So," Korra says slowly, glancing back to find they're not watching them anymore, "she's engaged to a military officer who aligns with her parents?"
"It seems so." Asami dejectedly sighs. "Any way I slice it, she'd never be happy with a man. But I have my theories about him that make their relationship worse than what they portray at face value."
"Theories? Besides being homophobic?"
"Yes." Asami nods her head and leans in closer. "His name's Zhao. If my assumption is correct, he's a great grandson of the Admiral Zhao from the 1800's. The Fire Nation called him Zhao the Conqueror for his victorious feats in battles and wars. But more importantly, the Zhao family is pure Fire Nation blood just like the Himuras."
"So, it's all a political ploy, controlled by the parents and not just her trying to lead a traditional woman's life?"
"Precisely." Asami takes a deep breath and waves down their waiter for dessert. "Let's just enjoy the rest of our night together, okay?"
They easily shift back into the light heartedness of their night together though what happened a few tables away tickles the back of their minds. They wind up feeding each other pieces of each other's dessert more often than not. Asami goes as far as to move her chair next to Korra's so she can take every opportunity to touch her and to prevent any sweet messes.
Korra's at the mercy of Asami when she cradles her face and attaches her lips to the sugary mess, sensually cleaning her up and tasting much more. Sato acts like she didn't just suck her spirit out of her body and tenderly wipes the residual red away with her thumb, not a care in the world whether or not that was appropriate for the public eye.
"Why waste a napkin and sugary goodness when I can clean it up myself?"
If Korra had her brain under her control, she might've seen the figure approach their table and prevented the jump scare at the voice.
"Hey, can we talk? Privately?"
"You've never felt any kind of attraction or spark with guys?"
"I've held their hands. I've kissed them. I've them touched. Every instance of romantic contact with guys I've found repulsive," she answers honestly, finishing her milkshake and continuing to look out her dark windshield. "I can appreciate a good-looking guy, but they don't do anything for me. I can't imagine myself happily living the rest of my life with a man, and men don't do anything for my sexual fantasies."
But that's what you expect to be forced to do to.
After their movie and dinner show, neither of them was quite ready to end their date. They grabbed milkshakes like they're kids from the 80's and parked in a secluded, dark area near Asami's estate.
The lines have been left intentionally ambiguous of what's been developing between them. As they sit with only the console and empty cups between them, Asami feels a shift in the energy between them.
"How long have you've known?"
"A few years." She shrugs, sighing. "I kissed my first boy on the playground in grade school on a dare. My first girl was in middle school with Seven Minutes in the Spirit World. Since then, it's just been a path of self-loathing and disgust with myself for being the embodiment of everything that my parents oppose. I've had to become a professional actress for survival."
"Is that why I couldn't figure you out when we first met?"
"Partially," she says with a genuine laugh, poking Asami in the middle of her forehead. If this wasn't such a serious conversation, Asami might've thought it was a cute gesture. "You're also still viewing everything through a straight lens. I guarantee you there are people within your circles who are gay who have perfected their craft, and you can't detect them. Why? Because it's hard enough to learn who you are. Until you've walked in their paths, in their shoes and suffered and understand their pain, you cannot truly know them let alone know yourself."
"How different are you at home? At school?" Asami asks slowly, trying to steer the conversation into slightly safer areas.
"Honey, you wouldn't even recognize who I am," she tells her, shaking her head and resting her forehead against the steering wheel. She adjusts herself so she's able to look at Asami, a weary look in her eyes. "Deep down, she prays for a day when she'll be able to walk in broad daylight and not burst into flames, be devoured by wolves, and publicly tied and whipped at the stake. But she knows that day will never come for her."
"Kaori, that day is here," Asami whispers like it's a secret. Tentatively, she reaches out to rest a hand against her cheek, running her thumb back and forth to comfort her. "It's acceptable in society today."
"Then tell me why you found it so difficult to tell your parents that you're bisexual?"
Asami flinches from the venomous bite to her jugular, the scathing fire shooting from her eyes. Kaori aimed for a low blow that she doesn't understand just how low it is. Yes, they both have their problems and scratched the surface with their parents and sexualities, but turning against each other isn't going to resolve anything.
"Forget it," Kaori tells her in a hard tone, snapping her eyes shut painfully. Blindly, she reaches for Asami's hand and intertwines them. "Because of who we are, because of who our families are, coming out of our closets only opens us up to glass houses for the public to view like animals for their pleasure. Making one misstep, not falling in line and fitting the mold, will result in our public execution and being cast aside like scraps."
When everything boils down, they have the final decision. But to live their lives, they have to live with the consequences. But are the consequences worth the demanded costs for the pleasures they seek?
It seems simple in theory. In reality, it's a complicated and complex process.
Life is like a business. Some decisions are easy and need not much thought. Some decisions are difficult, multifaceted that required critical thinking and strategic planning. The moment lips crash onto Asami's, it only takes her a split second to become a very willing participant.
She doesn't think about the implications of the timing of this kiss, doesn't think about how she's having her first kiss with a girl in a dark car. None of that's important. The only important thing is feeling the eager softness pressed against her lips and the feathery touches on her bare back that release a moan from her.
That shatters the glass house around them. She retreats back into her closet, never to be seen again by her. Asami's left to maneuver through the shards, slicing skin and staining her path with her blood, thinking whether to seek refuge in her closet or remain in her glass house.
The night protects them. It hides their secrets that they shouldn't have to in this day and age. However, that night was supported by a metal frame and glass. They're in the shallow end, vulnerable to anyone who may pass by them tonight.
She really wishes she would've known Kaori was going to lead her onto a private balcony. The first time they met, there was a refreshing autumn breeze kissing their skin.
The breeze dancing around the world on this late winter night is spine-chilling, not kind to Asami in any way. The wind crashes against her skin, sneaks its way up her skirt and cuts through her skin and leaving blood in its wake. Kaori meets the same fate, but seems unbothered, content to just let her breath leave her lungs and join the desperate wind. The wind demands to know how their circumstances have changed since they last met, to hear the tale of their two names.
To eavesdrop on their delicate secret.
Asami was telling the truth when she said Kaori had grown since she last saw her. Occasionally, she saw visual media posts about her or her family, but all Asami saw was the fronts and lies. Both of them have grown from innocent teenage girls to young women battered by the hardships of the world.
But the one thing that Asami sees is the same, hardened by life, is the weary, dim expression in her eyes. Each step they took away from others, each step further into the darkness, her true attitude revealed itself.
Now, as they both lean against the freezing railing with the wind pestering them and darkness swallowing their faces, Kaori looks exhausted and more burdened than a young woman should be.
"Sorry about him," she weakly – but genuinely – apologizes quietly, resting her chin on her arms. "I'm…glad you're happy, Asami."
"You deserve to be happy too, Kaori." Asami ignores making herself the subject of this conversation. "You're a human being deserving of love, support, and happiness. If your parents, your family, can't accept who you love, do they really deserve you?"
This isn't a walk down memory lane. It's as if they've returned to that car covered in the night and picked right back where they left off. Wiser from experience, they have grown. But now, it's like the fight has left Kaori in Asami's presence, accepting the path that's been carved ahead of her.
"I'm not a good person, Asami," she whispers, too ashamed to look at Asami. "You weren't the first, and you weren't the last. I'm just a selfish cunt that takes and never gives, discriminating those like me. Any hopes of steering them on a path of enlightenment and accepting their sexuality, to not make the same mistakes I have, gone. As Himuras, we transgress into the bounds that humans should never walk as proclaimed by the spirits."
"You're not like your parents, Kaori!"
Even Asami knows she has no right to say that. For all she knows, Kaori could be just like her parents because of their excessive influence. But deep within her heart, she knows the Kaori she met before is still inside of her.
"You haven't interacted with the Kaori that the rest of the world knows." She dryly chuckles with a shake of her head then falls silent for a moment. "But, there's one thing I can be pleased about in my disillusioned life."
"What?" Asami presses, hoping she can use it to her advantage to open up Kaori's mind.
"You," she replies without any hesitation, but a crack in her voice. "Asami, you've demonstrated that you've defied the odds against yourself, against my misdeeds, and against society."
Weak as it is, a shimmer of a flash reveals itself in those gold eyes. As quickly as it comes, it's extinguished faster and dims her eyes again. Those eyes hold diluted, unsolicited envy that their owner knows she has no right to. She's chosen this path to follow and has no right for these feelings.
But it doesn't mean she can't live vicariously through Asami, just for a moment, for the life she wishes she could have.
"Do you love her? Are you happy with her?"
Asami knows she's trying to turn this little reunion back on her to ignore the elephant rhino in the room. She also knows they don't have a lot of time. She'd also not like this conversation to end in a heated argument like the last time.
"With all my heart. I'd do anything for Korra without a second thought." She tries to pour every emotion she has for Korra into her tone to show Kaori what true love feels like. I know the answers, but I want her to think. "Do you love him? Are you happy with him?"
The expression on her face sinks as does her body, looking dangerously close to collapsing. The wind whistles sharply, urging her to use her words, to express what she knows deep in her heart yet plays the dutiful daughter. It demands to know how contrasting their lives are.
"You know the answer to that question. Why waste our breaths? All you need to know is that he's a reputable young man that I love enough to marry and spend the rest of my life with."
She scornfully laughs up at the star scattered skies like she's asking them to tell her to stop kidding herself and that her whole life is a joke. That switch has been flicked again. Back then, Asami didn't know if that switch was being turned on or off.
She knows better now.
Standing side by side and staring ahead into the dark abyss, the wind hums in their ears. The light from the inside bathes their backsides and conceals their faces, giving the dark the chance to devour their faces and leave no traces of them.
"If you ever need to talk, I'll always be there for you. If you ever need a safe place to stay, the Sato estate will always be open for you, Kaori."
The light warmly welcomes Asami's face, caressing it softly against the depths of darkness as she turns towards Kaori. Accepting the light, Asami's identifiable to anyone, transparent for all to judge as they please.
"I appreciate you extending such an offer, Asami, but it's uncalled for under any circumstances."
Kaori doesn't dare think of what she really desires. She vehemently rejects who she really is to conform to society and remain loyal to her family. She only relents when the shadows greedily prey upon her, persuade her to pursue what she primally desires in life that she's been taught is irrevocably immoral.
"Asami?" She pauses, motioning for Asami to lean in closer and back into the shadows where it's safe. "What's true love feel like?"
Fingers drum against the tabletop, not quite sure what to do alone. Watching the other patrons and making up her own preposterous stories isn't as riveting without having someone to share the experience with.
Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Asami and Kaori. After a farewell to one another, they separate. Kaori turns away from Asami without a second glance while Asami's gaze lingers on her walking away for a moment. Korra only spares a glance at Kaori walking towards him, but if she didn't know any better, she truly would've believed she loved him.
She pushes them to the back of her mind and gives Asami her full attention like she deserves. Asami walks so gracefully in her heels, demonstrating her business and flirty swagger that draws the attention of some wandering eyes. She only has eyes for Korra, and Korra only has eyes for her. The only flaw to her strut is the pink tint to her skin and shivers vibrating in her body.
Korra springs out of her seat and meets her halfway, throwing her jacket over Asami's shoulders and rubbing their hands together to help her warm up.
"How was it?" she murmurs, not caring that they're in the middle of the dining room.
"About as good as I could've expected." Asami cups Korra's faces and gives her a passionate, long kiss in the middle of the dining area for all to see that has Korra curling her toes. "How about some tea before we leave?"
The shining green eyes next to her are the only thing that Korra can focus on. They're filled with all the love she has for her. If she looks closely enough, Korra can see the reflection of her blue eyes communicating the same thing.
Even if she'd returned to her spot across the table instead of sitting next to Korra, she knows the light would still be visible. Korra much prefers Asami next to her than across from her anyway.
Just as Kaori and her fiancé prepare to leave, Korra and Asami spot them. She graciously accepts his arm and thanks him with perfect kisses and deception. He's safe, he's acceptable. Like all couples, they probably have their disagreements about trivial things and important things.
But the false love between them isn't what either of them deserve.
As they turn to leave, Kaori's a second slower with her actions to avoid suspicion of any significant connection with Asami. She looks in their direction and subtly nods. She goes so far as to disguise a small wave to them as fixing the back of her hair.
And with those small actions, she's swept away and out of the restaurant with her fiancé's side at her side.
Korra and Asami sit silently like they're paying their respects for her. The restaurant's thinned out, leaving Korra and Asami as one of the last occupied tables lingering over their tea at this late hour.
"I've had a great time with you tonight," Korra says, pulling her close and secretly wishing they had more time tonight.
"Me too." Asami guides her to her lips for another long kiss. As they pull apart, Korra feels her smiling into it. "But you're cutting our night short, love."
Leave it to Asami Sato to always prove her wrong.
Posted: July 3, 2022
Tumblr: mysky27