6. All things not being equal

Marcy ran her fingers along the red line slowly. No matter how often she saw it, the scar fascinated her as much as it horrified her. Fascinated because it gave its owner a daring, tough aura … horrified because she herself had been the cause of it. She began to gently massage the hardened, ruined skin although she knew that Sasha wouldn't be able to feel much of it, as a matter of saying sorry again. She knew that her girlfriend had forgiven her long ago, but it was kinda the same as Sasha's and Anne's relationship – as much as Sasha would never stop trying to repay their dark-skinned friend for her kind forgiveness, Marcy would always apologize via gentle touches for scarring her friend so horribly. Her efforts were rewarded with a satisfied, lazy moan.

"Still not tired of Big D? You know there's plenty more skin you could caress, right?"

Marcy grimaced. "I REALLY wish you wouldn't call your scar like that," she groaned. "It's not like I need to be reminded of HER."

"Stop beating yourself up, Marce," Sasha gently chided her, still facing away from her. Ever dutiful, Marcy began to massage the pale, powerful shoulder blades in front of her, earning her another moan. "You know I have forgiven you. I LOVE you."

"I know," Marcy agreed, glad for the delightful jump of her heart these words had caused. "I'm trying. It's just … you know … sometimes I'm wondering if I could have done anything to fight Darcy from the inside ..."

Sasha turned around and hugged her tight, causing Marcy to yelp, but then immediately melt into the embrace. They were still a new couple and had not taken the last step yet, but she was actually glad for that. Kissing, petting and being half-naked together with Sasha of all people, the woman she had always looked up to for her strong personality, was already quite overwhelming – she was sure that sex right now would just make her shut down entirely or at least a panicked mess. And Sasha had agreed with her – there was no need to rush. They could take all the time they needed. Hugs like these, naked skin against naked skin, shared, kinda sweaty warmth and a general feeling of rightness and emotional security were their current border. And that was more than enough. Marcy hugged Sasha back and sighed.

"Don't you think I sometimes wonder if I could have stopped Andrias from stabbing you?" Sasha asked her quietly. Her hand found Marcy's own scar on her back. The first few times she had shied away from the touch, feeling ashamed of anyone being near the mark of her betrayal, but Sasha had been persistent, lowering her nervousness with gentleness and patience. "We both have flaws. We've made mistakes. And your scar doesn't detract in any way from your sexiness."

Marcy didn't answer her. She just buried her face in Sasha's shoulder, her chin touching the other woman's respectable breast. She smiled. They had spent full 20 minutes yesterday of Sasha swearing on pretty much everything that it didn't matter to her in the least that Marcy's bust was smaller than her's, that the young Asian's smaller body was alluring and sensual completely without porn star cups. Only after that she had started laughing and Sasha had realized that Marcy had just found it funny to see the other woman flustered. Sasha's revenge had been noogies, followed by less painful cuddling. How interesting that they were still in the awkward state of their relationship and yet Sasha still felt so familiar to her. She inhaled the blonde's scent. It was light, and yet it resonated powerfully in her nose – as powerful as Sasha.

"And you know, if we go to the beach and people start making fun of your scar, I can always carry my sword with me to scare them away."

Marcy snorted. "I'd like to see that," she admitted, trying to imagine this situation. "But I think you'd end up naked down there if you attached your sheath to your bikini panties. I think we should avoid that."

Sasha stopped caressing her scar and pinched her skin playfully, making Marcy flinch. "I could carry the sheath on my back," she suggested. "People wouldn't dare doing anything if I was your badass bodyguard."

Marcy laughed and kissed Sasha's shoulder. "You don't need your swords to be badass, Sasha," she reassured her girlfriend softly. "You're badass even now, in underwear." She tried to squeeze Sasha's still impressive bizeps, but had to admit defeat soon. "Ooof! See?"

Sasha chuckled and her voice changed into this dark, sensual tone that gave Marcy goosebumps. "You know, Marbles, I think I WOULD like to see you in a bikini real soon," she nearly growled. "If you're not comfortable with the beach, I'd settle for a private fashion show here."

"Pervert! I knew you only wanted my body!" She ended the hug and put a quick kiss on Sasha's cheek. "You don't care about my godlike wit ..." She kissed her nose. "... or my creative talent ..." She kissed her mouth. "... or my colorful personality at all."

Sasha pondered for a moment. "Well … at least it's one outta four. Plus your sexy scar."

Marcy laughed and tried to free her arms from the blanket in order to hit Sasha. "You're awful!" she shouted with glee. "Awful! Awful! Why are you so mean to me when I only want your looooove?"

"Oh, THAT'S what this is about?"

Marcy's arms were grabbed swiftly and she was yanked towards the middle of the mattress, with Sasha suddenly towering above her. Sasha's lips pressed against her's firmly, yet not aggressively. Marcy moaned into the kiss, losing herself in the feeling of their half-naked skin touching, her fingers ruffling though Sasha's hair and the air in her lungs slowly depleting. Oh, she could SO get used to this! None of her former dates had in any way been able to compete with Sasha. Playful pinches or banter, tenderness, sudden predatory kisses … the blonde seemed to know instinctively what Marcy desired. Well, most of the time, but with a way higher statistical likelihood than her former dates … boy, Sasha would have laughed her ass off had she heard this sentence, wouldn't she? That was the moment when they separated, gasping for air.

"Is that better?" Sasha asked, caressing Marcy's cheek. Her gaze was still intense, but Marcy knew that her friend was in control of herself. There still was a predatory vibe in the air, with Sasha's muscled arms on full display, but she knew that nothing would happen which Marcy was not okay with. It was exhilarating and calming at once. She loved it.

"Way better," Marcy affirmed. She licked her lips. "But I'd like to taste the product again, if that's possible?"

"Hard customer, hm?" Sasha grinned. "Well ..."

The second kiss wasn't as long, but even so it left Marcy breathless. "Frog," she mumbled, her eyes closed. "I have never had kisses like these before, Sasha. Not even close."

"I aim to please," Sasha noted, rolling off her, her smile turning cocky.

"How … was I?" Marcy knew that her friend was more experienced than she was, especially with women. Sasha loved her, that she was sure of, but she didn't want to be the only one to receive this amount of pleasure.

"It's quite obvious that you're not as experienced as some of my other dates," Sasha determined, causing Marcy's mood to drop significantly. "However," the blonde continued while putting her hand on Marcy's chin and softly rubbing her lips with her thumb, "none of their kisses impacted on me as hard as yours, Mar-Mar. Not. Even. Close."

Marcy giggled, a warm feeling floating back into her body. "Good comeback," she declared. She put her hand on Sasha's bizeps again and massaged it. She remembered a talk with Anne where her friend had spoken about Sasha's strength and training exercises with the utmost respect – while sporting an adorable blush. She wondered if Anne had ever had a crush on Sasha or if her friend was just a little bi herself and appreciated Sasha keeping her body in such a good shape. But now Marcy understood Anne's reaction. "But … you'll tell me if you want me to do something, right, Sash?" she inquired, suddenly becoming insecure. "I don't want this to end badly because I didn't know what I was doing."

"Don't worry so much, Marce," Sasha reassured her. "Much of it is instinct anyway. But if you insist ..." She took Marcy's hand and put a kiss on her knuckles, causing Marcy to giggle again. "... I will do my very best in teaching you the sapphic arts." Her glance turned from flirty to serious. "I don't want this to end badly either. And I'll do everything I can to make this relationship a rewarding experience for both of us, I promise."

"Awww, Sashy," Marcy cooed. "You say the sweetest things."

"Didn't help me much on our date though."

Oh. Yeah. Their date. That had been a disaster. Well … not really. Sasha had formally asked her out, and it had been really sweet. They had talked about their feelings and that those hadn't gotten weaker since the kiss. Actually, due to all the … stuff with Anne happening she had tried very hard NOT to masturbate remembering the feeling of Sasha's lips on her's, but it had been a struggle. Her parents had come up, their insecurities in so thoroughly changing their friendship … but in the end Sasha had taken her hand, kissed it and told her that nothing of that was able to quench the feelings raging inside of her and, if Marcy was willing, she would be delighted to share them with her by taking her on a date. As said … sweet.

The date itself though … it had started with a nice dinner, had then moved to cruising around a bit and taking photos of themselves in various places and Marcy drawing a quick sketch of Sasha. Then they had gone to a bar, and when Sasha had caught on that Marcy wasn't really into drinking and dancing she had immediately called it off and they had gone on a nice walk, with her asking Marcy to tell her everything about Anne's book idea and listening patiently. And yet … when they had come back to the apartment, Marcy had felt awkward because something had just been missing, and Sasha, having noticed that in her expression, had been stressed out. And then she had started apologizing.

"I'm sorry, Marcy. I'm so sorry. I wanted this to be perfect, but ..."

"It's not your fault, Sasha! Really! I have no idea why all of it felt kinda wrong."

"Maybe it's just no meant to be. Maybe … it's just better if we stay friends."

"But we both wanted this!"

"Yeah … but maybe we're just too different, Mar-Mar."

Sasha had looked so dejected, so sad that for the first time on this day strong feelings had awakened in Marcy's chest. She had grabbed the hand of her friend forcefully. "That's not true, Sasha!"

"But ..."

"Kiss me," Marcy ordered her, suddenly having the strange intuition that she had to take charge here. Sasha had been full-on blaming herself, and if she had done nothing, this would have ended before it had started.

"Marcy ..."

"We were wrong," she had concluded, everything suddenly becoming clear. "Dates are for getting to know each other. We already do, Sashy."

"We didn't need to prove anything," Sasha had continued, comprehension growing all over her expression. She had pulled Marcy closer, entranced. "We know who we are. What we want."

"Kiss me," Marcy had repeated, a mere whisper this time.

It hadn't even been the best kiss, after a date like that. But it had shown both of them that they had been right. There had been no need for dating, they could have just straight gone for the girlfriend part. The twin smiles after the kiss had brightened the whole room.

"Well, you poured your heart into planning the date," Marcy argued after the memory ended. "So I'd say the sweetness still counts."

Sasha smirked. "If you say so."

Marcy swallowed. "Sasha … I think I'm ready."

Sasha's eyes opened a bit wider. "Are you sure?" she asked, full of concern. "There is no need to rush this, Mar-Mar."

Marcy snuggled closer. "I am sure", she confirmed. The she groaned when she realized something. "But you have work tomorrow. I know, you'll probably say that you've got more than enough stamina to power through the day, but ..."

"... but what I'll actually say is that I understand," Sasha finished the sentence with an amused grin. She petted Marcy's hair. "This needs to be special. We'll do it when we don't have to worry about getting up early." She kissed Marcy's hair, causing her to purr in delight. "I can wait."

"Thanks, Sasha. But we can still cuddle, can we?" She added her best puppy-eyed stare. It had acquitted itself well in her past dates, her most powerful weapon which most people couldn't help but find adorable.

Sasha snickered and pulled up the blanket while Marcy turned around, resulting in them spooning. "No need to waste the big guns on something that I want to do anyway, Marce," Sasha whispered into her ear. Marcy shuddered. She absolutely LOVED this feeling. "Save it if you want something truly … outrageous from me." She gave Marcy time enough to imagine things and blush before adding: "Like asking me to play Mario Kart with you when I KNOW you'll stomp me."

That caused Marcy to grin, but she still had something important to say. She took Sasha's hand and pressed it against her chest, letting her lover feel her heart beating. "I want this, Sasha," she said firmly. "I really want … US. I don't know if we'll last as a couple, but I want you to know that I'm all in."

In response Sasha hugged her firmer from behind. "So am I, Marcy," Sasha affirmed, placing a kiss in Marcy's black hair. "I want to do this right. But we should sleep now. Goodnight, girlfriend."

Uuuh, Marcy REALLY liked the sound of that! "Goodnight, badass bodyguard," she replied, resulting in a last snort. Falling asleep like this was such an amazing feeling. Probably only topped by falling asleep like this only a little more … exhausted. Existing and future problems with her parents aside she had not been happy like this in a long, long time. She really needed to thank Anne for …

Oh. Anne.

"Sasha?" she asked. "I promise I'll let you sleep soon … but may I ask you a question?"

"Will it ruin this moment?" the blonde inquired, though Marcy couldn't hear actual annoyance in her voice.

"Maybe."

"But it's important?"

"Yeah ..."

"Then ask away."

Marcy pursed her lips, pressing Sasha's hand closer to her heart. "It's about Anne."

"Greeeeeat," she heard Sasha groan behind her. "We've just reached second base and you're already mentioning another woman in bed. Way to annihilate my confidence, Marce."

That managed to force a grin out of Marcy, but she soon became serious again. This was important. "Not just any woman," she corrected. "Anne."

"Yes, your oldest friend, who has saved you from danger countless times, whom you have spent nearly as much time with as with me lately. That makes it WAY better."

"Sasha, please," she chided the other woman. "It's thanks to Anne that we're together now, remember? And I'm … concerned for her."

"Alright, fair point," Sasha admitted. "So what do you think is wrong?"

"It's ..." Suddenly Marcy found it hard to get her thoughts in order again. Why was this happening so often when she was thinking about Anne? "Don't you think that she is … avoiding us?"

"Nope."

"But she has been here only three times in the last two weeks," Marcy argued.

"Plus the two times when you visited her at work and when she and I had a drink after work," Sasha added, not sounding bothered at all. "And she told us that there was this Thai wedding and she needed to help out there. Seriously Marcy, other people see their friends way less frequently."

"Yeah, but … didn't you think she looked awkward when we kissed last time?" Marcy just couldn't shake the feeling that she knew something that Sasha hadn't seen yet.

"Well, sure, but don't you think that's normal? We have been friends forever, and even if she practically gave both of us her blessing us suddenly being together DOES change everything a bit. We'll all get used to it eventually."

"You think so?"

"Marcy, I can hear that there is something hidden behind these questions." Sasha removed her hand from Marcy's chest and grabbed her hand. "Why don't you tell me what this is REALLY about?"

"It's … I'm scared, Sasha," Marcy finally admitted. "When we and Anne weren't talking it was … so awful. Like if a part of my heart had been ripped out. I mean, what if she feels unwelcome here suddenly? Like a fifth wheel? I never want to feel like that again … I don't want to drive her away."

"Awww, Marcy ..." Sasha sighed. "Do you really think our friendship is so weak? Sure, everything is a bit weird right now, but she felt awful too back then. She understands how important it is to stay in touch." She placed a kiss on Marcy's shoulder. "But if it makes you feel better, how about we invite her over first thing tomorrow? We'll make sure that we tell her how important she is to both of us and that nothing we are or may become will ever change the feelings we have for her. That she will always be welcome here. What do you think?"

"Yeah, that sounds good." Marcy wasn't fully convinced, but she DID feel better now. She turned her head and rewarded her very personal therapist with a quick kiss. "Thanks, Sasha. I love you."

"I love you too, Marcy," Sasha said softly. "And now goodnight, my little nerd. End. Of. Discussion."

Marcy giggled and allowed herself to drift off into the land of sleep. Maybe Sasha was right. Maybe she was just paranoid. Maybe everything WOULD be well.

Damn. Maybe Marcy had been right after all.

Sasha took a sip out of her cup of coffee, staring at the table in front of her. It had been roughly a month ago that Marcy had shared her fears with her that Anne could maybe be uncomfortable around them now that they were a couple. And at first Sasha had been optimistic. After all she and Anne had had this great conversation after which she had really felt that Anne had shed her fears and had welcomed them into her life again. That Marcy was just a little insecure, being the cute little nerd that she was. But now …

It wasn't even big things. Just … maybe it was just a temporary thing, but Anne seemed to be increasingly busy in the Thai community or at work. At the same time her visits, though those hadn't stopped, were shorter. Sure, they were a bit too old for them anyway, but even Marcy and Anne hadn't had a single sleepover since then, let alone all three of them together. Maybe Anne just wanted to give them space for some private activities, but not even one evening spent here? Her apartment wasn't THAT messy! And the looks … it frustrated her to no end that she just couldn't figure out what Anne's strange looks meant when she and Marcy did small couple things like kissing or touching each other affectionately. She had gotten a damn good poker face. Sad? Uncomfortable? Fascinated? … Excited? Sasha had no idea how Anne felt … and she herself felt like she had failed her friend because of it. When she had asked the dark-skinned woman if everything was alright, Anne had told her that she was happy … she didn't think her friend had a good reason to lie to her, but she just couldn't shake the nagging feeling that Anne was doing just that.

She missed her. Oh, Anne was still coming over, quite often actually, but it just … wasn't the same anymore. In a weird way she even missed the time before Marcy and her had gotten together. She didn't regret it – their relationship had grown quite well, in contrast to her former relationships it wasn't so much the sex or some wild date night she was fantasizing about when she was on break at work, but the small, loving gestures. Her kissing Marcy's neck, making the smaller woman squeal with glee. Marcy's head lying in her lap when they were discussing first drafts of an Azura story, with Marcy studying her face while she was reading. Marcy giving her pointers for dealing with the the rare kind of patients she had who were on the nerdy side and her making nerd jokes for Marcy to be mock offended about. The uncountable quick pecks and subsequent "I love yous". Those convinced her that this relationship was built on something more than mere physical attraction. Oh yeah, and the sex WAS great – Marcy wasn't very experienced and a bit insecure, but she made up for it with her usual enthusiasm and quick wit, and Sasha was actually surprised how fulfilling it was to teach her lover. She couldn't wait until Marcy felt secure enough to take charge for the first time ...

She shook her head. And yet … for all of her confidence that this wouldn't happen, their relationship with Anne had changed. Maybe she was imagining SOME things, but as she and her brown-haired friend had discussed, Anne craved equality in her relationships. She had suffered under young Sasha's thumb, and it had been a delight to see her kind yet fun-loving personality flourish after Amphibia and also after Marcy's move back to L.A. And now … they felt like mere friends. Good friends. Friends that saw each other way more often than others, but just … friends. Not the special kind of friendship they had shared before.

But what could they do about it? That was the question. Sasha emptied the cup in one go. Anne herself had encouraged both of them, Sasha and Marcy, to give this relationship a chance, and Sasha didn't want to end it, not even if Anne begged her to do it – not that Anne would EVER ask her to do such a thing. And she wasn't sure if there was much of a chance to spend more time with Anne to reassure the young herpetologist that she was still an absolutely vital part of their life. Much of the little spare time they had they were already spending together, and as close as they were, there needed to be some separation between Anne and her social life and Sasha and Marcy too. And yet she couldn't help but miss "the good ol' days". As much as she was glad that her controlling ways were in the past … she HATED how at a loss she felt right now.

"Mornin'"

Immediately a smile appeared on her face. "Good morning, sleepyhead," she greeted her girlfriend and turned around to look at her. Marcy had spent this night in the study since she had felt "a creative wave hitting her", which she had wanted to use to continue the storyboard for her Azura story. Sasha was fine with that, breathing space being an important part of a relationship and all. And even though she doubted that writing a fantasy book would end Marcy's dispute with her parents, she was impressed how focused on this project the little nerd was. So they had decided together that as long they were together Sasha would shoulder a larger part of the rent until Marcy abandoned the project or the book was done – after that the bestseller author in training would have to find another job again if the book wasn't successful. And they were both realistic about this, the chances were slim. Still, Sasha loved the joy speaking about her story ideas brought to Marcy's face, so she had agreed to it.

Marcy yawned. She looked like she hadn't slept at all, her normally lustrous hair was a mess, her pyjama – which was banned in Sasha's bed, but allowed in the study – looked rumpled and her eyes were barely open as she waddled into the kitchen to find some coffee. Sasha tried hard not to laugh – Marcy looked very much like the cartoon characters she as drawing.

"And? How's the book coming along?" she asked.

"M-hmm," Marcy mumbled while reaching for a cup. Sasha bit her lip. Marcy was adorable in general, but grumpy Marcy was a delight to watch.

"You do still know that you promised to go for groceries today, did you?" Sasha reminded her girlfriend.

"Naaaah," Marcy denied. Sasha raised her eyebrow, stood up and positioned herself behind Marcy, putting her arms around the smaller woman's waist. Marcy seemed to barely notice it, which convinced Sasha that she really was tired.

"And why is that?" she asked.

"Money's the devil."

"U-huh ..."

"Money's cause me 'n my parents are fighting."

"Aaaah," Sasha realized. Marcy had one of her nonsensical episodes. It was always funny to play along with those. "And let me guess: That's why there are so many occult symbols on our money, right? Our ancestors probably designed them to be protective charms to ward us against extradimensional demonic influence, right?"

"'s right," Marcy agreed, taking a sip of coffee. "They're watching us all the time. Waitin' to enter our world."

"Hmm. And it couldn't be that you just don't want to go for groceries because you are tired?"

"That too."

"In that case ..."

Marcy yelped when Sasha suddenly grabbed her, bent her over backwards and pressed their lips together. Marcy's eyes fluttered, but the her reactions suddenly became faster. She put her arms around Sasha's neck, moaned and reciprocated the kiss. Kissing had proven to be a remarkably reliable way to wake Marcy up so far. Sasha had been pleased to find that out. About half a minute or so later she pulled Marcy up again and let the other woman go.

"Better?", she asked huskily.

"Very much," Marcy answered, a dreamy expression on her face.

"Come, sit down," Sasha invited her doing just that, "you WILL do your chores, but there's no reason not to have a few nice moments for ourselves first."

"Okay." Marcy sat down, drinking her coffee and sighing contently.

"Seriously though … extradimensional dollar note demons?"

"Why not?" Marcy, now fully awake, challenged her. "We have BEEN to another dimension, Sasha. Who's to say that there isn't also a demon dimension out there?"

"Can't say much against that ..."

"Remember what Anne told us about that FBI portal?" Marcy was now getting excited. "What if they aren't the only ones? What if some mad scientist somewhere in the cellar of a remote hut is currently opening a portal to let the demons in to start some weird Armageddon?" She pointed at Sasha. "See, I can't go outside! The demons would kidnap me for sure!"

Sasha laughed. She simply couldn't get enough of Marcy's weird moments. She leaned forward and kissed the other woman. "Not a chance, Mar-Mar," she declined. "If you don't go for groceries, you have to cook – and I'm not letting you near the stove again anytime soon."

"That was ONE time, Sasha!" Marcy protested, pouting. "It said let it cook for 30 minutes – that was more than enough time to play one game!"

"Yes, but you played TWO," Sasha corrected, lifting a finger astonishingly, but still with a smile, but an evil one. "How about that: If you don't dress yourself and do what you promised, I'll tell Anne ALL about what we did two nights ago … especially about what I heard you shout right before ..."

Marcy's eyes shot open and she blushed. "You wouldn't!" she cried, but Sasha's grin made her nervous. "That's private stuff, Sasha! Doesn't that fall under medical confidentiality?"

Sasha raised an eyebrow. "Do you think I do what we do at nighttime with all of my very minor patients? Because that would be disturbing."

"No … no, of course not. Yuck! But you still can't ..." Then something clicked in Marcy's head and she stared at her for a moment. "Wait … Anne is coming?"

"Yes, she is," Sasha confirmed. "I invited her for tomorrow night and she said yes. A nice, relaxing dinner for all three of us." She sighed dramatically. "Of course, since we don't have anything at home that we can serve her, I guess I'll have to ..."

"Nononono, I'll go." Marcy stood up so fast that she knocked her chair back and then ran into the study to get dressed. "I'll be ready in a minute! Don't call her! What do I need to buy?"

"List is on the fridge," Sasha told her, pouring herself another cup of coffee and watching Marcy's panic with an amused expression. "But I'm sure she'd be fine with postponing ..."

"Fut up!" Marcy uttered while running into the bathroom, half of her sweater currently hiding her mouth.

Sasha chucked, drinking her coffee and enjoying the chaos. Every day she lived together with Marcy showed her more and more how boring her life had really been. She was by no means a passive person, but her love's creative madness was always a sight to behold.

"And what about the dollar note demons?" she innocently asked as Marcy flashed past her, drops of water flying off her face.

"Fuck them!" Marcy exclaimed while ripping the grocery list off the fridge and looking for her shoes. "I'll punch them in the face and tell them I've got a badass bodyguard! Keep your swords ready, Sash!"

"Sounds like a plan," Sasha commented. She put down her cup and calmly walked towards her desk to get her briefcase. As amusing as all of that was, it was time to go to work. "Don't run into a car, Mar-Mar! I doubt we'd be allowed to have dinner in the hospital."

"'kay." Marcy stood up, looking presentable finally. "Later, Sash! Love you!" And out of the door she went.

"Love you too!" Sasha shouted, shaking her head. Her depressing thoughts from before aside, she was really looking forward to Anne's visit tomorrow. All three of them sitting together for dinner, having a few drinks, talking about all kinds of stuff … even if it was here in her apartment, it would be kinda like that fateful birthday not so long ago. Hopefully Anne would see that too. She put on her jacket, grabbed her sunglasses, walked through the door and locked it. She hoped that Marcy hadn't forgotten her key. Then she went to work.