7. Fighting (for) your love

Why was she doing this to herself?

And she didn't even know exactly which of her two options was the worse one.

Option one meant sitting here with her two best friends, eating a good meal, drinking fine wine, telling tales, sharing secret thoughts, joking, laughing, forgetting about the world outside and feeling warm, loved and welcome. Option two meant finding excuses to not visit them more often, living a content, enjoyable life at work, home and with other friends, with less intense feelings as option one … but also less pain.

Oh, not horrible pain – Anne had been through far worse in Amphibia. But every time she looked at her two dear friends and her heart warmed when she saw them happy, it was always followed up by a tiny sting in the same heart when Marcy and Sasha would kiss, flirt or touch each other playfully. It wasn't that it was unbearable, far from it – it was a drop of annoyance in a pond of happiness she felt for her friends. A constant drop. Cue proverb about constant drops and stones …

Anne shook her head. She was angry at herself. She wasn't against Sasha's and Marcy's relationship, at all. In fact, the romantic whom she was reveled in it. Both of them had suffered so much in their great adventure, Sasha losing everyone she cared for due to her own actions and being forced to fight a brutal war and Marcy nearly being killed and becoming possessed by a monstrous entity … Anne didn't want those two to lose the happiness they had found together. But there was this tiny, nagging part of her that wanted to go back to a time when they had shared all of their feelings equally between each other, when none of them had been more important to each of them than the third.

"Anne?"

She blinked and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry," she said, lifting her wineglass. "I think I might be getting a little tipsy."

"I sure hope so," Sasha commented, looking at the red liquid in her own glass. The blonde looked stunning as always. Anne didn't look half-bad in her cobalt blue sleeveless top and black pants, she thought, but traditional Thai clothing would have been able to measure up to her friend's clothes, a long-sleeved pink satin blouse combined with jeans and belt – the mixture of casual and elegant worked very well on her. "After how long it took Marcy to decide on it."

"'m sorry," Marcy groaned. The poor girl was still a lightweight, they had only now finished the second bottle and while Anne and Sasha were mostly fine, Marcy was already smashed. Deciding that both Anne and Sasha looked way better than her in her green summer dress, which very much emphasized her cuteness in Anne's opinion, she had started drinking too fast again. Which was a shame since it was a rarity to see her dressed up like this, with her normally preferring casual clothes. She hiccuped. "Don'now much about wine."

"It's okay, Marce," Anne reassured her. "It's a fine one." She looked back to Sasha, who was taking a sip. "And it's really true? She's actually writing the book?"

"Seems so, yes," the blonde acknowledged. "She hasn't lost interest yet."

"That's pretty cool."

"Why are ya talking like ah'm not there?" Marcy complained loudly. "'f course I'm doin' it! And why are ya so mean to me?" she addressed Sasha, her lips forming an adorable pout.

"Cause you are drunk, my dear sweetheart," Sasha told her bluntly, her voice clearly brimming with amusement.

Sting.

"'m not drunk!" Marcy protested and poured herself another glass of wine defiantly. She fastened her eyes on Anne, only swaying slightly while doing so. She grinned. "Anne! She said sweetheart! She's soooooo nice, isn't she?"

Anne giggled. No matter how complicated her feelings were right now, drunk Marcy was highly entertaining. "I think so," she agreed, eyeing Sasha. "You're soooooo nice, Sashy."

"I try." The blonde put her hand on Marcy's shoulder, causing her girlfriend to look at her, hiccuping again. "Don't drink so fast, Mar-Mar," she said gently. "You will fall asleep and lose all the time you and Anne could spend talking about Azura."

Marcy stared at her. Then she grinned, grabbed Sasha's hand and put a rather sloppy kiss on the other woman's knuckles. Sasha snorted and shook her head.

Sting.

"It's tur... no, true, Anne," Marcy agreed, her slightly shifty eyes focusing on Anne again. Her eyes needed a moment to refocus when she turned her head. Sasha was right, she would probably be asleep soon. "I'm writin' this book, for real! But you need ta help me, Anne …" She grabbed Anne's hand, needing only two attempts, and looked at Anne pleadingly. "Please, Anne … you're Azura. I want … I don't wanna write this book without the real Azura ..."

"What she wants to say is," Sasha interrupted Marcy's ramblings, "that Azura can only truly come to life if you help her with your own ideas. She wants you come over more often and brainstorm with her." Her gaze found Anne's. "Not that I would mind that at all. We love having you here, Anne. You know that, right?"

"Please, Anne," Marcy confirmed. Her lost puppy stare was only slightly less powerful when she was drunk. "I need you!"

Anne blushed a bit at the pure drunk honesty of Marcy's statement and took a sip. "I know, guys … but this whole marriage was really extensive … I'll try to come over more often, I promise."

She didn't feel like she sounded very convincing. It was enough for Marcy, who smiled brightly, but a glance in Sasha's face showed her that the other woman hadn't bought it. "Sure, sure," the blonde nevertheless said. "Tell us about it. How was the wedding? Were you allowed to bring Sprig as your significant other?"

"Sash! Fuck you!" She exploded with laughter. Okay, maybe she was mildly drunk ...

The following conversation was pleasant. She talked about the wedding, Sasha provided some funny anecdotes of her and Marcy's relationship and Marcy interrupted them with ideas about the Azura novel whenever she felt bored or embarrassed by the anecdotes, as it seemed. But roughly an hour later Marcy had finally reached her limit. Sasha stood up.

"Time to go to bed, Marce," she decided. "One more sip and you won't be able to sit anymore."

"No!" she protested, her head lying on the table already, her hand still grasping her wineglass. "'m not sleepy! Anne, hel' me!"

"I'm sorry, Marcy, but you really should go to bed," Anne regretfully agreed and pushed a strain of hair out of Marcy's face. "But don't worry," she promised the barely awake girl affectionately, "we'll definitely talk about Azura very soon. Okay?"

"'kay," Marcy replied, her eyes now closed. She seemed barely aware of her surroundings. "Love you, Anne. Missed ya s'much ..."

"That's enough. Off you go, you drunkard!"

Anne was glad that Sasha was focused on scooping Marcy up and effortlessly carrying her girlfriend towards the bedroom, bridal style. Marcy hummed and threw her hands around Sasha's neck, huddling against the taller woman.

"Ya smell s'good, Sashy ..."

"And you smell like wine, you cute lightweight. Now sleep."

Sting.

A minute later Sasha closed the bedroom door, walked back to the table and sat down with a content sigh. "I wonder if she'll ever be able to hold her drink," she commented.

"If she did I'd assume she is possessed again," Anne joked, causing her friend to laugh. She raised her glass.

"I'm really glad you are here, Anne," she admitted. "Finally someone to talk to who isn't out cold immediately."

Anne smirked and drank again. "Don't let her hear that," she advised. "She might believe you're already looking for an affair."

Sasha raised an eyebrow. "Oh? You interested, Boonchuy?" she asked flirtatiously.

Anne rolled her eyes. "Skip it, Waybright," she declined, leaning back and frowned at the blonde woman. "I swear if you ever hurt her, we'll have another duel. And you'll lose again."

"Interesting idea." Sasha put the glass on the table, watching the liquid inside move. "She really means it, you know?"

"What?"

"That she loves you. That she missed you."

Anne grimaced and emptied her glass. "I told you I was busy." She hadn't meant for it to come out so defensively. "I can't be here all the time, you know?"

"Do you WANT to?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Anne glared at her friend. Then she pressed her fingers against her temple and closed her eyes. "Please, Sash … it has been such a nice evening. Quit these mind games."

It took a moment until Sasha answered her. "It HAS been a nice evening, Anne. And yet you are still stressed. I'm worried about you."

That's all it took. "Well, MAYBE I wouldn't be so stressed if you didn't try to get in my head, Sasha!" she snarled, her bottled-up frustrations boiling over. "Haven't you caused enough damage there?" She had been loud enough to earn a sleepy "Jus' five more minutes, Sash ..." out of the bedroom. Sasha herself stayed calm otherwise, but her eyes widened. That's where Anne realized what she had just said. A sea of shame drowned the boiling anger inside of her instantly. "Oh Sash," she whispered and put her hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry, I'm SO sorry ..."

"Don't," Sasha interrupted her, holding up her hand to stop her mid-sentence. Her voice was steady, Anne detected no hurt or anger. "You are right, I DID damage you, Anne. And I didn't want to make you angry."

"I didn't mean to ..."

Sasha stood up, walked over and put her hand on Anne's shoulder. "Hey, hey, I'm a big girl," she told her with a slightly crooked smile. "I'm not going down so easily, Boonchuy. No harm done."

Anne nodded hesitantly. Then she put her wineglass on the table. She had clearly had enough.

"I respect that you don't want to talk," Sasha continued, eyeing her. "However, I don't want you to go to bed while feeling bad. How about we let off some steam?"

Anne blinked. "Let off steam?" Suddenly she was wary. "How?"

Sasha went to her desk and picked up a long bundle. Anne hadn't noticed it until now. "With these," Sasha explained, opening the bundle.

Ann blinked once more. And again. "Bamboo swords?" she uttered, her focus shifting between the shinai and Sasha's face. "What the heck, dude?"

"How about it?" Sasha prompted, unfazed. "We go up to the roof for a quick sparring match, you get the stress out of your system, then we come down again and maybe have another glass before going to sleep. What do you say, Second-in-command?"

Anne gaped at her friend. "Is this the retort for me threatening you with another duel a few minutes ago?" she wanted to know. "Cause I didn't mean it, you know."

"I figured," Sasha said. "I bought them some time ago on a whim actually. And I admit, I've wondered if you are still in good enough shape to maybe spar with me one day, but I swear I didn't plan to do this today." She paused for a moment and looked at Anne with sincerity. "But I really think it is a good idea, Anne. Just a quick match, what do you think?"

What she thought? She had fought two duels against Sasha in her life, and neither of them had been a nice experience. And she definitely hadn't come here to fight another one. On the other hand … she had to admit that she still was a bit upset. And although Sasha was fitter than her these days, she trusted the other woman to be careful.

She shrugged and stood up. "Why the hell not? Just one short match, okay? Lead the way, Commander."

Sasha grinned at her. She quickly put on some runners and opened the door. "Follow me."

"How'd you even get the key for the roof?" Anne asked while climbing the stairs. Fortunately Sasha's apartment was quite high up already, so it wasn't that far to the roof. "Is it even legal for us to be up there?"

"I bought it from the caretaker," Sasha explained. "And no, probably not. But who's gonna notice in the middle of the night?"

"Don't know. This dollar note demon Marcy talked about who saw you buying a forbidden key? Or maybe the Highlander is already up there?

Sasha chuckled. "Nah, there can only be us." After that they walked silently until they had reached the roof. Sasha opened the door and Anne looked around. Nothing special, a normal flat roof. Enough room to spar definitely. She breathed in the cool air and looked up into the sky. Clouds.

"Looks like it's gonna start to rain soon," she noticed.

"We won't melt," Sasha calmed her and gave her one of the shinai. She swung it a few times. Sasha did the same with two shinai. Of course she was gonna dual-wield. Anne should have known. "Hmm, not quite the same weight as normal swords," Sasha remarked expertly. She grinned wildly. "If only Grime could see us right now!"

"Sparring match, remember?" Anne reminded her. "And we are both tipsy. Let's be careful."

"Yeah, yeah." Sasha took up her fighting stance. Damn, she looked good! Anne blinked. She needed to focus now. "Come on, Anne, let all your frustrations out! I can take it! Show me what the hero of Amphibia can still do today!"

That brought a smile to Anne's face. Some excitement began to move around inside her body as she took up her own stance. Suddenly it was just her and Sasha – nothing else was important, not Marcy downstairs, not the whole city, not the world. This was their moment. It began to trickle. Then Anne moved forward, starting with a quick thrust. Sasha parried it off effortlessly. Her eyes were practically glowing now. She was enjoying this.

"If I'm the hero, then who are you?" Anne asked her while she moved back. She knew Sasha was better at fencing and stronger than her, but she didn't want the fight to end immediately.

"The villain it seems," Sasha answered teasingly. She swung one sword, Anne hopped aside. Then she swung the other sword, making Anne jump back. "That's alright. Heroes always react. Villains drive the plot of a story."

The two swung their swords at each other for a few seconds, parrying, evading. Anne blocked Sasha's sword with her own and as the blonde tried to attack with her offhand weapon, she bent her leg, threatening to use a kick, forcing Sasha to retreat. Sasha's grin became brighter. She was clearly in her element … and Anne had to admit, that this was kinda … thrilling. Her heart was beating faster, a bit of sweat on her skin and the trickle from the sky mixed with each other and she was reminded of better times, when her body had been younger and faster, when her problems had been not exactly easier, but less complicated.

"Big bad villain … next you're gonna tell me that you're my dad," she taunted her opponent, putting her leg down again.

"Well, I AM hitting on your mom, as you often tell me," Sasha countered. She suddenly crossed her swords in front of her chest and moved her arms forward, attacking Anne with both at the same time. When the Thai woman jumped back, Sasha followed her and struck her leg, paying attention not to hit too hard. "Are you alright?" she immediately asked, excited yet concerned.

Anne scowled. "Yeah, I'm okay," she said and shot her a glare. "That was dirty."

Sasha grinned at her. "I AM the master!"

"Only a master of bad acting, Darth." Anne quickly grabbed Sasha's right shinai, pulled herself closer, put the hilt of her sword on Sasha's chest and pushed her away with some force.

"Hey, not fair!" the blonde complained. "You'd have hurt your hand it that had been a real sword!" She struck left, but Anne parried.

"I'm the hero," Anne reminded her. "I make sacrifices. And you may have been a good villain, but you have too much honor." She flashed a grin and tried to hit Sasha's leg, but the other woman blocked and counterattacked, forcing her to evade again. "You're a pretty sympathetic villain."

"Pretty, eh?" Sasha smirked and exchanged two blows with her friend. "You clearly underestimate the power of the dark side!"

"Dude, enough with the Star Wars quotes," Anne complained. They both paused for a moment, panting. It was raining a bit heavier now, and she definitely wasn't an agile 13-year-old anymore. Sasha obviously wanted to continue, but Anne's excitement, though still high, was waning. Still, she wanted to land at least one hit. "Hey, Sash?"

"What?"

"When we were 13, did you have a crush on me?"

Sasha froze. "What?" she exclaimed, baffled – and Anne took advantage of that. Sasha reacted just a fraction of a second too late when Anne jumped forward, knocked one shinai aside and delivered a cautious punch to the other woman's gut with her other hand.

"Hah!"

"What the hell, girl?" Sasha obviously wasn't hurt, but still bewildered.

Anne grinned cheekily. "Guess I'm an anti-hero," she declared. Then she took up a defensive stance. She wanted this to end soon, but she owed Sasha a few more attacks for this. And she would undoubtedly attack now. Sasha growled and did just that while Anne stayed on the defense for a few moments. "Did you though?" Why had she asked that? Maybe because the wine was slowly affecting her thinking. She wouldn't be able to fight much longer.

"Seriously, Anne?"

Their blades clashed together and they put their weight behind them. Suddenly their faces were very close. She could feel Sasha's breath on her skin. Her eyes were wide, as were Sasha's. "Did you?"

Sasha stared at her. She was so puzzled that she didn't try to use her higher strength to her advantage. Then she said: "Yes. I had. I had a crush on you."

"The hell, Sash?" Anne shouted. She wasn't even sure why she was shouting. Maybe all of her pent-up frustration was bubbling up again. How much did she have inside of her? "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What do you mean why …?"

"WHY?"

"Because I was scared!" Now Sasha was shouting too. Why were they yelling at each other? Anne didn't want to be angry … but she had no control over her emotions right now. She felt hot, despite the rain, full of energy that she needed to get out of her. Sasha seemed to have the same problem. She had never appreciated being on the defense, and Anne had caught her off-guard. "I was terrified, okay? We had just rebuilt our friendship … I would have never risked it … for anything." Sasha's breathing was more even now. She was still staring into Anne's eyes, though Anne wasn't sure if the blonde was seeing her right now. "And … cause of other reasons."

"Tell me," Anne demanded. Both of them suddenly moved back and lowered their weapons simultaneously. "Please Sash … tell me."

"I ..." Sasha pushed back her hair nervously. It was getting wet now, drops running down her face. Her clothes still looked good, but even they would be wet soon. "My parents … whenever they fought … I felt helpless. I think that was one reason why I was so controlling." A guilty expression appeared on her striking face. "I … needed to learn to let other people in. I mean … all in, not just as friends. I tried to flirt with you, but you didn't realize ... and then we entered college and saw each other less and less." Now she suddenly looked ashamed. "And in the end I thought … you know ... that you had decided that I had been too awful, that we could be friends, but never more than that. And I accepted it."

"You MORON!" Anne grit her teeth and balled her fists while Sasha flinched. She was wet now too. Her hair was probably a mess and Sasha could likely see the outline of her bra beneath her top, but neither of them cared right now. "Why … I was just oblivious, you know I often am! Why couldn't you just ASK? I … I LIED to you!"

Sasha blinked. "Huh?"

"I lied to you! I DID imagine being with you back then! And I touched myself and I came and I HATED myself because … because I thought I had defiled our friendship! That there was something wrong with me, that you'd DESPISE me for it if you knew, that I needed to keep it a secret … and when we drifted apart, a part of me was GLAD that you'd never find out and … and … then you and Marcy told me ..."

Suddenly all the anger and frustration left her. She lowered her fists and her head and sniffed. Water that had nothing to do with the rain filled her eyes. "... you told me that it wouldn't have bothered you … that it was normal ..."

A moment later she heard two weapons fall to the ground and strong arms embraced her firmly. "Oh Anne," Sasha mumbled. "I'm so sorry … I'm so sorry, Anne, I didn't know ..."

Anne put her hands on Sasha's back, pressing herself against her friend with the strength created from desperation. She however didn't protest, just continued to hold Anne while the tears flowed freely. The feeling of loss, the feeling that something Anne had craved for was not available to her anymore, was getting nearly unbearable.

"I would have said yes," Anne whimpered, feeling drained. She had no idea how she had fought Sasha just a minute ago, because she was sure that she'd collapse if the blonde let her go at this moment. "I would have said yes, Sasha."

"I'm so sorry, Anne," Sasha repeated. Her voice sounded hoarse, but she was still standing solid like a rock, a pillar for Anne to lean on. Always the strong one.

Anne sighed. It was painful … but also cathartic. She had been stupid for so long … and now Sasha understood. "Now it's too late," she finished her confession. Her head was fuzzy, and she wasn't sure how much of it was the wine's fault. The pain was slowly ebbing away now, leaving her numb. "You love Marcy now. It's okay."

"I love you too, Anne." Sasha's voice was clear and insistent. Sasha's chest was pulled away from her, causing a sob to leave her throat. A hand touched her chin and lifted it. The rain hit her face again, but she didn't even register. The only important thing was Sasha's face, sad yet resolute, her beautiful eyes looking right into Anne's soul. "I do."

"You can't."

"I love Marcy," Sasha confirmed. Her hand wandered a bit, reaching Anne's cheek, spreading warmth. Her voice sounded even firmer now, as if her lost love was trying to convince herself as well as her. "I never stopped loving YOU, Anne."

They stood still, simply watching each other. A few moments? A minute? She didn't know. It wasn't important. Then however Sasha closed her eyes and her features showed only regret.

"We need to go," she told Anne, her hand leaving the dark-skinned face.

"But ..."

"It's raining." Her voice was so soft … and yet Anne didn't want to hear what she had to say. "And Marcy is downstairs."

Right. Marcy. Their friend. Sasha had betrayed her friends before. She would not do so again. All of that Anne understood immediately. They let go of each other. And the numbness came back.

"Dry yourself off, Anne," Sasha ordered her friend, handing her a towel. Anne took it and did as told, mechanically.

Sasha hated this. She hated that Anne, vibrant Anne, looked like she had died inside. She hated that they hadn't talked to each other ten years ago. She hated that they had talked TODAY. More than anything she hated that she couldn't just take a sword and hack this whole situation to pieces. She sighed, letting her own towel fall to the ground, her hair and face being sufficiently dry again. Anne was still rubbing her hair, and Sasha had a feeling she would continue doing this for minutes if she didn't stop her. She gently pried the cloth out of Anne's hands, dropped it too and steered Anne to Marcy's mattress in the study where she'd sleep tonight. They sat down.

"Are you okay?" she asked the other girl worriedly. This question was so stupid that she didn't think Anne would even react to it.

"I'm fine." Anne's voice was so quiet and distant, she could hardly understand the words.

"You're not, Anne," Sasha objected. She reached for Anne's hands and put them between her's. She didn't know if she did it to give comfort or to draw some to combat her own helplessness. Probably a mixture of both. "I'm sorry."

"Don't," Anne demanded. She still wasn't looking at her, her gaze being fixated on Marcy's journal. Her voice still sounded listless, but a bit of emotion had crept back into it. Bitterness, Sasha thought. "You're with Marcy. It's cool. You are good for each other."

Sasha swallowed. "We need to sleep," she told Anne. Funny, hadn't she told Marcy nearly the same thing some time ago? And hadn't she felt pretty crappy back then too? "But is there anything I can do for you?"

Anne shook her head. "No. Go to her, Sash. I'll manage." Oh Frog … even NOW Anne still tried to put a little compassion in her voice. To comfort HER, when ANNE was the one who needed it most. Why did this woman have such a martyr complex? Nevertheless, she would never again force Anne into something. So Sasha stood up and intended to turn around and walk into the bedroom, when Anne suddenly grabbed her wrist.

"Wait!"

Her heart leaped when she turned around.

She may have a martyr complex, the sadistic shrink in her head commented dryly, but YOU have a developed a pretty serious inferiority complex around her, you know? She has told you time and time again that you don't owe her anything. And what about Marcy? Is Anne more important to you than her?

Shut up, she thought. "Yes, Anne?"

There was doubt and sadness in Anne's eyes when she looked at her, but that was way better than the emptiness from before. "I... I know I have to let you go, Sasha," she said slowly. "But … could you please tell me how you saw me?"

Sasha sat down again. "What do you mean?"

"Ten years ago … when you were infatuated with me. Can you tell me what I meant to you back then, please?" Anne closed her eyes. "I know I can't have you … but I'd like to know how being with you would have been."

That was a bit … weird. And yet at this moment Sasha was willing to do nearly anything to comfort her friend at least a little bit. And this wasn't really bad. Maybe it WOULD help Anne cope. She closed her eyes too, thinking back. "You were beautiful," she began. How original. SHUT UP! "So frogdamn beautiful … I think it started during the rebellion. Your athletic movements when you fought, your infectious smile that FORCED others to be optimistic, the messy hair that dared me to comb through it with my fingers each time I looked at it … I was so smitten, it was really hilarious. You MUST have seen me blushing around you." She paused for a moment. Anne stayed quiet.

"But … that was just your body. Physical lust. The truth is … you changed me Anne. You are the sole reason I changed for the better. I was awed by your guts when you shouted at me in Andrias' castle. Moved by your responsibility and willingness to forgive when you immediately put me back in the Commander's seat after your first mission, even though I had hurt you so much. Nearly blinded by your selflessness when you sacrificed your life for Amphibia and then cracked a joke so that WE wouldn't be sad while you were dying!" Sasha chuckled as the nostalgia hit her. Anne did too … or was it something else? "You represented everything I aspired to become, Anne. And when we got home … it hit me really hard. After all you had done, all you had accomplished … you didn't become arrogant, you didn't demand anything, you didn't even boast. You only wanted your life back, your parents, your cat, school, our friendship … after tasting incredible power and overcoming incredible dangers … you didn't suddenly think high of yourself like me back then and you were done with fleeing from difficulties like Marcy, you accepted what you had and just lived … as if you HADN'T just saved tons of lives and become the greatest hero Amphibia has ever known. You were … my ideal, Anne."

Now she was certain. Anne was sobbing softly. But she wasn't done yet. "I admired you so much, Anne, I STILL do … and yes, it turned into a real crush." She snorted. "You know … once in a dream it became really weird. I saw you as a being of light, a true goddess, who had come to save me from myself and show me the right way." She laughed. "Can you believe that, Anne? Anne?"

Then she felt it. The hand that grabbed her neck and pulled her in and the lips that connected with her's. Her eyes flew open and she froze. Anne's eyes were still closed, and tears were still flowing out of them. A blush had darkened her wet skin further, increasing her exotic beauty. The firm pressure of Anne's fingers on her neck made her feel goosebumps all over her body, and the lips … although her's were still paralyzed, Anne's felt soft, passionate, needy, inviting … all the things she had imagined before, but fused together into perfection.

She didn't know if her brain started working again or if it stopped working, but she suddenly reacted. Somewhere in her clouded mind – and she couldn't even blame the wine, she KNEW this was pure desire – was a feeling of wrongness, but right now she couldn't connect it to any reason. Sasha moaned, a deep, primal sound, which allowed Anne's tongue to ask for entry into her mouth. Sasha's own tongue acted on instinct as it met its opponent between their lips and their duel continued, with different weapons. Her eyelids fluttered and she was dimly aware that her arms touched Anne's waist and shoulder, her fingers exploring the newfound territory.

Oh FROG! This was what she had wanted, pined after even! For Anne, beautiful, perfect Anne, to not just tell her that she trusted her, but to prove it, by laying her whole self bare for Sasha, lowering all defenses … and for Sasha to have an opportunity to NOT betray her dearest friend's trust, to not become controlling again, but to treat her with gentleness, respect and love … to worship Anne Boonchuy like the goddess she was in her mind. A moan not out of her own throat reaching her ears added fuel to the fire inside of her. Her hand left Anne's shoulder, grabbed her cheek and neck and pressed the other woman deeper into the kiss. Anne's second hand had found Sasha's chest, moving around, looking for an entry playfully to finally …

Then suddenly she was shoved away forcefully. For a moment she was disoriented, breathing heavily. When her vision cleared, Anne was still there … red, puffy lips, her chest moving beneath her wrinkled top, her eyes clouded by desire and something else. Only Sasha's confusion of being shoved back prevented her from pouncing the Thai woman, throwing her onto the mattress and giving her all the pleasure she so richly deserved. The picture of Anne in front of her reminded her of something … of that fateful night a few months ago, when Marcy had looked at her just like that after their first kiss …

Oh …

"I need to go," Anne declared, her voice a bit hoarse, but full of regret. She got onto her feet, a bit shaky, and turned towards the door.

Sasha's brain was completely overloaded with information right now, but she got a mental emergency alarm that caused her to act. "No! Anne! Wait!" She pushed herself off the mattress and grabbed Anne's arm, ignoring Anne's escape attempts. "Please, don't go outside! I know that this was wrong, but please, you are mildly drunk and it's dark … I'll go to bed immediately, but please spend the night here. Leave before Marcy wakes up if you must, but ..."

Anne stopped trying to leave and looked back at her. Her eyes seemed dead and without hope again, and her voice was not much better, when she simply said: "Go."

Sasha fled to her bedroom. She had no idea if Anne would still be present when she woke up tomorrow, she didn't know what she would tell Marcy and she had no clue how this mess could be fixed. The only thing she knew without the shadow of a doubt was that she had fucked up again. Royally.

As you always do, Waybright.

This time she didn't react sharply to the voice inside her head. She knew it was right. She was a failure. She would always hurt the ones she loved. Nothing would ever change that. She didn't dare looking at Marcy when she climbed into their bed and let an uneasy sleep take her.