A/N: So I have returned. Hello. Here's a big giant mess of writing that I hope makes some sense. Also, I just thought I should clarify - in my hiatus announcement, (not that it was much of a hiatus, but I just thought I should make some sort of update because I wasn't sure what was gonna happen next,) I said that I was thinking of a chapter between Yelena and Tony. I DID NOT MEAN TONY. TONY IS DEAD. That was probably weird to read. Like, "what does this crazy woman have planned? A ghost chapter?" But no. It was a mistake - instead it's Sam. I would also like to clarify that they are NOT love interests. Just friends, or yet-to-be friends. I wanna make Yelena aro/ace because she strikes me as such. Anyway, here's the chapter. If you wanna be the first to comment, please go ahead, I'm sure you'll be making history. (But I do want feedback.) :)

For about fifteen minutes, everyone sat around the living room making general conversation, asking about Yelena and offering their condolences to Laura and the kids. Once everyone had been introduced, which was a lot of people, Natasha led the Bartons upstairs to floor 6, which was Clint's floor, a feeling of immense relief flooding her as the elevator doors closed on them all. She wasn't sure why, but having everyone all in one place made her feel more at ease.

Once they reached the room, Laura opened the door and the first thing she did was take a huge deep breath. A slight smile played across her face, and she immediately crossed to a photo of herself and the kids that was perched on the nightstand. Natasha realised that no one had been in here since Clint's death.

"It smells like dad." Lila said quietly, sitting down on the small couch and leaning back. Natasha inhaled slightly, recognizing the smell that reminded her of friends and guns and too many memories. Cooper flicked his eyes toward one of the two bedrooms, considering the option to hole himself up again, and then changed his mind and sat down with a sigh next to Lila. She looked up at him for a second, surprised, and then leaned into his shoulder. Laura glanced at them from the corner and smiled.

The elevator beeped behind them and Violet stood in the doorframe, glancing over at her mother. Then she frowned for a second at the rest of them, before her face lit up and she ran toward Laura.

"Auntie Laura!" She cried, enveloping the woman in as big of a hug as she could considering her very small size. Laura laughed and swung her around, returning the hug just as strongly. Natasha was mildly surprised that Violet remembered her after so long, but she supposed she recognized her from pictures and that they had mixed together with the faint memories she had of the family.

Cooper, who had been particularly fond of Violet when she was a baby, sprung up from the couch, looking genuinely happy for the first time since Natasha had arrived at his house. Lila stayed seated, a bit taken aback by seeing the little girl she remembered from not so long ago suddenly this big kid.

"Hi sweetheart!" Laura exclaimed, a tear running down her face. "Oh, look at how big you are," she marveled as she set Violet back down.

Once greetings and hugs were exchanged, Laura suggested that Violet give the kids a tour of the tower, and they all clambered into the elevator, Violet chattering animatedly about all of the cool things uncle Tony had installed.

"She grew up." Laura said sadly, her eyes still fixed on the closed elevator doors, and Natasha nodded, smiling fondly. They sat down on the couch together and Laura closed her eyes. "This is all so overwhelming."

Natasha nodded again, her mind racing with all of the things she needed to do. She reached over and gave Laura's knee a squeeze, locking eyes with her before she got up and took the stairs down to the first floor. She scanned the room, but saw only Steve and Sam making light conversation on the couch and Sasha making a sandwich at the kitchen bar. She wondered where Yelena might be, and what she could be up to, but they were similar people and Natasha assumed that she was scouting out the place for possibly hiding and storage places.

"Hey," she said to Sasha, sitting down on one of the barstools and resting her chin in her hands.

"Hi." Sasha responded, taking a bite of her sandwich. She held it out to Natasha, who took a bite and chewed thoughtfully. Something had occurred to her and she couldn't quite shake the feeling that something was off.

"Where's Wanda?"

Sasha frowned, taking another bite and walking around the counter so she could sit next to Natasha.

"I actually don't know," She admitted. "I think she left a few days ago… something about recovering Vision's body. I haven't heard anything since then."

That didn't sit right with Natasha. Gone for a few days… something about Vision… no, something was off. Sure, Wanda was the type to seclude herself from grief, but this felt different. Natasha just knew it.

"And this," Violet rattled off, "Is uncle Tony's floor. It's the biggest and fanciest." After a pause, she corrected herself. "Was uncle Tony's floor, I guess."

The Bartons looked around in awe, taking in all of the fancy technology and decorations. It was truly amazing. It felt strange to them that they were standing on the floor that Iron Man lived on. Even though they had met him multiple times, they were still a bit starstruck.

"Um, hi?" A small voice said,, and they turned to see a little brunette raising her eyebrow at them from a doorway.

"Oh, this is Morgan. Morgan, this is Cooper, Lila and Nate. Uncle Clint's kids."

There was an awkward exchange of waves and "hello"s, and all of the kids stood stoically as the unspoken condolences for their losses passed between them. Suddenly, Nate gasped.

"Is that one of the new Zero Gravity Laser race cars?" he asked, pointing to a toy in Morgan's hand. She looked down at what she was holding, and her eyes filled with smugness.

"No, it's not," (Nate's face fell,) "It's a better version that my dad made. I have a track, too."

Nate squealed with absolute delight and turned to his siblings.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeease can I play?" He begged, folding his hands and putting on his best puppy dog face, which must have been pretty good because Lila looked at Cooper who looked at Nate and shrugged.

"Sure, as long as Morgan's cool with sharing."

Morgan nodded, excited to have a new friend, and the two of them disappeared into her room. Lila and Cooper smiled, glad that he had found a friend.

"So… are there going to be funerals for them?" Lila asked tentatively, knowing that an eight year old might not have the answers, but she had been too nervous to ask the adults. They all seemed so busy and stressed and she assumed that Violet heard a lot about what was going on since she was living here.

"Um… yeah. I think so." Violet answered, slightly uncomfortable with the question.

The thing was, she had heard the grown ups talking about a funeral. Except they had only mentioned one funeral. And that had been Tony's. There hadn't been very much discussion about a funeral for Clint. The only person who had talked much about Clint was her mom, but she had been gone for the past little bit, so the conversation was mainly focused on Tony. She hadn't wanted to mention that uncle Clint deserved a funeral too, because she was sure that they had a plan for everything, but she was starting to doubt that now. No one seemed organized and once again she was afraid that the answers she had always trusted were there were not.

She didn't see uncle Clint very much, (or, she didn't used to see him very much - he was gone now,) because her mom said he had things to take care of. That seemed a bit suspicious to her, but she had brushed it off. It's just that he seemed to live in the shadows, so his death was much less discussed.

She had loved him nonetheless, but these were his children. And she didn't have the heart to tell them that no one had talked about their father's funeral.

That barely anyone had even mentioned his death.

Yelena was not one for lavish lifestyles, but she had to admit that the couches at the Avengers compound were rather excellent. They were just the right ratio of cushy to firm, and easy to stretch out on. She had spent the last half hour just lying there, in one of the suites. She was pretty sure it was Bruce Banner's but she honestly had no idea. It was quiet and easy to think in, and that was what mattered.

However, her thoughts weren't quite as comfortable as the couch. She was cycling around in a spiral of unwarranted feelings, and she wanted to just disappear into the couch and never resurface.

To begin with, she was pissed off. Five years. That was, like, a sixth of her life or something. She was too lazy to do the math, but it was a pretty healthy portion. Who did this pissy grape think he was, going around ruining lives like that?

Men. They ruin everything.

But she was also sad. The world had moved on without her, just as she had come out into it. For fuck's sake, she had just gotten out of the Red Room. She had just found her life! And then the whole world had just… been torn apart. Why did that always seem to happen? Why, whenever something good happened, something horrible needed to follow it?

And then, to top it off, she was frustrated with herself for feeling these things in the first place. She was an assassin. She was supposed to roll with the punches… or more accurately, punch back at the punches. But right now she felt like curling up into a little ball on the floor and hiding away from the punches. It was such a childish feeling. She thought she was above this nonsense, but apparently no one was. Not even her.

She thought she had found something to live for. She was ready to explore the world. But now she felt like there was nothing to explore but a big giant mess. Natasha had brought her back here because she was lost, but she didn't feel less lost with this big group of fucked up people in this huge, depressing, very comfortably furnished tower.

Suddenly, a memory leaked its way through the barrier she had carefully placed between herself and memories.

Comfy couches. Feeling lost. She was 13, and Dreykov had taken her to Aleksandr, and Aleksandr was supposed to punish her but instead he was being nice. Too nice. He had fed her, and treated her, and then laid her down on his couch. She was confused, and had looked up at the lights. They were too bright. Then he started to take off his shirt, and she tried to sit up but he pushed her back down with his strong hands. She was suddenly realizing that something was wrong here. "You were supposed to punish me," "Oh, trust me Devochka, you'll be punished."

She shook her head violently, sitting up and taking deep breaths. She hadn't thought about that night in years. It used to haunt her dreams, but she had pushed it deep down inside her until she couldn't see it anymore.

All of a sudden she didn't want to be on the couch anymore, and she stood up and began to walk around. She wandered through the tower, feeling numb and weird. Her mind was both racing at light speed and utterly quiet at the same time. She didn't like it.

"Hey, little Romanoff." Someone said, and she snapped her head up. She had forgotten that other people lived here.

"My name isn't Romanoff." She corrected automatically. "Aren't you that bird guy? Simon or whatever?"

"It's Sam. And I just assumed, because you're Nat's sister…" He said quickly, clearly aware that this was an assassin he was speaking to.

"She's not really my sister. We just… never mind. It's complicated."

"Most things are." He mumbled, staring off into the distance like he was distracted by a thought. "So how are you holdin' up?"

"How do you think I am holding up, bird man?" She deadpanned, looking at him blankly.

"Probably about as well as me. This shit is weird, man."

"Yes. This shit is weird, man. But I don't really feel like a hero heart-to-heart right now."

She pushed past him, wanting mostly to be alone.

"Neither do I. However…"

"What?"

"Do you want a drink?"