Authors Note: Hi! Sooo this story is my first ever FanFic. I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! Reviews would be much appreciated :)

Oh and i dont own any of these characters!

Chapter 14: Swimming

A pale boy with brown eyes waded through the aisles of the Hollywood Public Library. His eyes wandered through the sea of novels that filled the shelves around him. On any other day, floating upon these ripples of fictions, biographies, and poems would have comforted him, but today the waves of books were surrounding him all too quickly and he felt as though he were drowning in their bitter tales of hopeful romance and plot-worthy treachery.

In every story he tried to offer his attention to, he would find the renditions of liars and backstabbers all too familiar to his own life, and suddenly the argument from before would play over in his mind until finally pausing on his friends face.

"Hortense Mitchell!" James yelled as the three hockey players made their way into the living room of apartment 2J.

"Hortense! We need to talk to you" Kendall repeated at an equally threatening volume.

"NOW.. Hortense. NOW!" The final boy finished.

From his room, Logan Mitchell's thoughts were disrupted by the sound of his real first name being yelled by his friends, the guys only called him Hortense when he was in trouble. uh oh.

"What ever it is," Logan came out with his hands up innocently but his eyes were still glazed over- they seemed cold and annoyed, "i didnt do it, or im sorry, or whatever, im just soo not in the mood right now"

"we sooo dont care," Carlos countered as he stuck his tongue out at the pale boy. The small latino had a way of lightening any situation and just then, he had unknowingly done the same. Logan snickered at Carlos's childish remark and sat down on the couch so that all three of his friends were now facing him.

"fine," He sighed as he got himself comfortable, "whats going on"

"Whats going on?" James was shocked by Logans cavalier attitude, "WHATS GOING ON WITH YOU?"

Logans eyes darted around the room and he could feel himself blushing out of embarassment, his hand shot up and grabbed the back of his neck, "oh, nothing"

"save the excuses for Mrs. Collins and my mom, Hortense." Kendall's eyes furrowed once again.

"and for that matter, Alex too" James felt defensive over his new friend, it had been obvious to him that Logan was the cause of her sadness.

"yah, you really hurt her feelings" Carlos's eyes looked aas though they were begging Logan to just apologize. Carlos didnt like tense situatons.

Logan's darting eyes finally settled on James, "well why dont u go just comfort her then, im sure shes dying for a swim"

As quickly as he said it, however, he regretted it. A startling mixture of confusion and anguish engulfed James's usually carefree gaze.

Logan gave thanks that the horror movie between James and Alex was no longer echoing in his mind, but subconsciously he wondered if James's sadness would prove to be even worse. At that moment, the contours of James's face had been defined with betrayal and pain, and the result was etched into Logan's mind.

Carlos, James, Kendall, and Logan. It had always been Carlos, James, Kendall, and Logan. Always. Even if they were being called the "Mighty Minnesota Ducks" (the name of the Pee Wee hockey team), or the "Dogs", or "Hockey heads", or the " Four Hockeypucks", or "Monkey Dogs" or even Big Time Rush.

They were always together.

Everyone knew that the four of them were a package. They made up for each others faults. Where Kendall acted on impulse and passion, Logan provided reason and logic. Where Logan too- often noted the consequences and repercussions, Carlos acknowledged the opportunities to risk taking. Where Carlos was easily distracted from end results, James offered a sense of determination to every plan. and so on.

Sure, the four of them had their respective quirks. Kendall had a temper, James couldnt remove his focus from the mirror, Carlos couldnt stay focused at all, and Logan was indecisive & cautious. And it was no secret that these differences paved the way for daily scuffles and banters.

But, the four of them had never genuinely fought. and Logan struggled with the realization that he had genuinely hurt James.

He didnt deserve it. Logans mind was racing as he submerged even deeper into the library, James had no idea i liked her. But i knew HE liked her. That makes me the bad friend- not him. This is stupid, were not supposed to fight over girls.

Logan knew that James wouldnt be mad at him; he was hurt, yes. but he wouldnt be mad. Girls were more of a luxury to James. He got over them quickly. But it didnt matter, Logan still couldnt be with her.

Liking her hasnt caused anything but trouble for me. Logan subconsciously wondered if he actually believed that.

Gahh, girls are distractions, and I didnt want to be distracted. Logan could feel the waves swallowing him now. I told myself not to be distracted, and now look what happened. Thats all Alex was. she was a pointless distraction. With that, Logan Mitchel struggled toward the surface and treaded his way out of the Hollywood Public Library. Well, im not going to be distracted anymore. Its just not worth it.

Within a matter of minutes, Logan's hand engulfed the cold metal knob of apartment 2J.

Logan had planned to splash a little water on his face, hoping that would clear his mind, then he would go find james and apologize.

Upon entering the apartment, Logan saw two familiar teenage boys lying on the couch, the taller one glanced in Logan's direction. Logan immediately recognized the worry which laced each of Kendall's green pupils. Thankfully, Carlos didnt seem to notice his entrance, and his attention was completely devoted to the video game in front of him. Logan realized he wouldnt have been able to handle any change in Carlos's usual carefree, happy gaze.

The last thing he saw before closing the bathroom door was Kendall taking out his phone and texting someone. A minute or two went by, and Logan once again entered the living room. He looked slightly less absent-minded, but this time, Kendall and Carlos were no where to be found. Suddenly his attention was captured by the picture frame which sat on the coffee table next to the couch.

His hand reached out for the object and he soon came face to face with four smiling 10 year old boys all clad in hockey gear. He studied each of them. Kendall's hair had been somewhat longer then, but in this picture it was strewn about wildly, no doubt a result of the well-worn goalie mask in his left hand. This right arm was hugging Carlos tightly.

The small Latino hadnt changed a bit. The only one of them still wearing his helmet, Carlos was enthusiastically pointing to the logo of a small animal on his Jersey. At that time, the group was no longer a part of the the 5-year-old, Pee-Wee "Mighty Minnesota Ducks". They were the muuuuuch more intimidating 10-year-old, Junior League "Minnesota Meercats". But, Carlos's smile was proud all the same.

Third was James. Logan laughed as he realized that even after that legendary 3 hour long game, James's hair STILL looked perfect. His arm triumphantly held a first place, gold "Minnesota Hockey Junior League Championship" trophy high above his and Carlos's head. His other arm was draped protectively over a final boy's shoulder. Logan's shoulder.

The boy suddenly dropped the picture frame. The feeling of drowning in the library was taking over him once again, and he had to get out of that room. Logan Mitchell didnt do well under pressure. Logan Mitchell didnt get in trouble. Logan Mitchell didnt really do anything that would cause tension. He just wasnt good with it. He knew, he wouldnt feel better until he sorted things out with his best friend and forgot about Alex. That was how he would solve this equation. and with that thought, the boy broke into a sprint as he raced towards the elevators.

Alex looked impatiently at the two metal doors of the elevator. Beep- Beep. Finally, the doors parted just enough for Alex to squeeze through. She walked quickly towards apartment 2J. She didnt bother looking up, she now knew the path by heart; She instead stared intently at her feet which seemed to walk automatically.

Her mind was going through every permutation. Every way that the conversation she was about to have could go. Every response that she could imagine Logan having. She didnt even notice the absent-minded boy who was running right towards her.

Bam.

The two bodies collided, sending both of them crashing onto the floor of the hallway.

Permanent bruising, Alex thought, Im going to have permanent bruising before I leave this place.

"Are you kidding me? Again?" ALex turned her neck slightly but returned her head quickly after grimacing in pain. She barely saw him, but the short glance was enough. His head was about a foot from hers and his eyes wer shut tight as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Logan?" She groaned.

"Alex? i should've known" His hand had moved to his temples but neither of the teens had bothered to get up yet. Instead they both were lying right side up on the carpet. At this point, both of their eyes were open and they were staring at the ceiling in an awkward silence.

"i cant keep crashing into you" Logan mumbled. Alex laughed slightly, but Logan remained quiet. She suddenly wondered if the boy had, in fact, been joking.
She hoped he was.

A minute or two passed. Neither spoke. Neither dared move.

"Logan.." Alex finally managed. Her voice was barely above a whisper but still managed to startle Logan against the silence.

"Al- ex" Logan's discomfort stained his pronunciation of her name.

"I didnt..." She began, "I mean, I do. I like you Logan."

Logan sighed. He could feel the newly- constructed wall within him crumbling. I like you too, Alex.

Alex heard no reply, so she continued, all the while staring at the ceiling above her. "I always liked you, and we had something, i thought we had something but then you stopped talking to me. and James-"

Logan shuddered. James, Oh James. No distractions.

Alex was hurt by his reaction. She heard his shudder at the sound of his best friend's name.

"Thats just it Logan," She seemed to be pleading with the ceiling now. "Theres nothing between me and James."

Logan sighed again. More quietly this time. More than anything he wanted to believe her. He wanted to pick her up in his arms and never let go. His heart told him to do just that, but his brain regained control quickly. She's just a pointless distraction. She's distrcating me from school. from the band. from my friends. No distractions. He stared silently at the ceiling.

"Logan," her voice grew louder, "James and I are just friends" She breathed in the silence around her, "Youre not most people. You read Dickens, You take AP Caluclus. And you correct people's grammar" She was speaking very quickly now. Her words all seemed to come out in a single breath, "and you hate hollywood as much as i do. Your just like me!" He heard her smile, "You and I... We're... we're just.."

Logan hung on to each of her words. He couldnt speak even if he wanted to.

"And that scared me at first. I was scared to let you help me. To let you see me" Her pace had slowed considerably by now.

Logan could feel himself slipping into her hands. He almost laughed at her familiar yet pointless rambling. He almost sat up and cradled her in his arms. He almost pressed his lips against hers to quiet her. He almost fell back in. Almost. But she continued her speech.

"I was scared that you would distract me"

With that, Logan was reminded of everything. He remained in his position. His eyes wandering around the ceiling. No distractions.

"Logan," She was unaware of his change in demeanor, "im not scared anymore. and i know you like me too, so..."

I do Logan silently admitted to himself, But i cant. Even if James doesnt like you... I cant handle this. Im not good at this kind of thing. I dont need this.
No disctractions.

"Logan?" Alex seemd to be pleading with the ceiling again, "Say something"

Logan took a deep breath, No Distractions.

"Alex..." He was obviously struggling with his words, "Its not just James.." He was speaking quietly now, "Alex... I just... Too much has happened" He sighed.

Logan continued even quieter now, "Alex, i cant keep crashing into you" He repeated himself, but this time Alex knew he wasnt joking.

Alex sat up, and Logan quickly did the same, but made sure he kept his back to her. He didnt realize, however, that she had caught a glimpse of his watery eyes.

"Dont do this" Alex spoke so quietly she was unsure if she had even been speaking to him.

He couldnt look at her, he still liked her. He liked her so much it scared him. He almost felt as though he needed her. But he had seen the consequences of falling for Miss Alex Bennet. His need for her was too intense, this passion was completely foreign to him. And Logan Mitchell didnt do well with changes. He didnt do well under pressure. He slowly got up and started walking back towards 2J.

"Logan, Are you trying to say that you dont have any feelings for me? Can you honestly say that?" She was silently begging him to turn around, and to say no. to argue with her. to explain himself. to say anything.

He didnt.

Gahhh! That was me silently slapping Logan. But then again, this is my writing... soo hahhaha no slapping me :)

but yah, sorry it took me so long to update, i got distracted (hehe get it? distracted! Because the story is called Distractions...) ahah ok ill stop now. Oh and i think the mood will pick up soon, because sad Logan makes for a sad me. But yah, ill update soon.

As always reviews would be very amazing and of course very encouraging ;)